The Way Jordie Haunts The Narrative Truly Haunts Me. The Way He Carried Kaz To Shore, The Way He Demands

the way jordie haunts the narrative truly haunts me. the way he carried kaz to shore, the way he demands to be remembered. the way he drives kaz's plans and schemes and has woven his way into the platform that kaz brekker has built for himself.

the way jordie has kept kaz afloat for years. but the way he's also kept kaz in the water for years. the way kaz has been kicking and kicking toward the moment of recompense and revenge, his hands never leaving jordie. his kickboard, his lighthouse, the thing keeping him alive and the thing keeping him half in the grave, dragging him down as much as he's guiding him.

the way jordie was once a light for kaz, the way kaz has found light in inej. the way inej is the reason kaz didn't drown in fjerda, the reason to keep swimming, the reason to live. the way jordie was once a brother for kaz, the way kaz has found a brother in jesper. the way jesper is someone for kaz to protect and to forgive, and the way he's more capable of doing so now.

the way jordie is avenged by kaz, but the way that isn't where the story ends. kaz destroying pekka isn't it. it doesn't have to be it anymore. because everything that jordie was to kaz, everything he's clung to, he's found elsewhere. and yes, he still has to learn to take his hands off his brother, but there are reasons to now, there are reasons to climb out of that water. to forgive, to move on, to learn to forget in moments when remembering does nothing but drag him down.

the way jordie is, in so many ways, what holds this story together. the way kaz no longer needing him or his ghost is what sets the story free. is what sets jordie free.

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