I Just Lnow That Kallus Circa 17 BBY Was Fucking It UP At Karaoke Nights

You okay? Yeah, I'm good.

I dont

guys i love alexsandr kallus

DEAN WINCHESTER ✧ 4.11 FAMILY REMAINS

How about another Lyste AU because I feel like some crack.

Imagine we have Kallus somewhere on a mission when he runs into Lyste and decides that maybe he messed things up for Lyste the first time but he can do right by him now. So he tries to recruit him and it actually works because Lyste has been having doubts about the Empire after the way they treated him because of his blunder (not well). And all is well and good until it turns out they have to use some advanced maneuvering to get away from the Empire which is fine for Kallus, he's used to it, but not for Lyste.

Oh boy, not for Lyste.

So by the time they get back to the base Kallus is overjoyed with himself. He's just snagged his first recruit and he made it up to Lyste.

And next to him.

Next to him is the most traumatized human being you've ever seen. Someone who looks like they've been dragged through hell and back (because they have) with the thousand yard stare to match.

They ask him what he wants to do to help and he just says he wants to stack crates for a while. Or something like that. There's silence and someone goes to ask but then they take one look at him and decide that yeah, okay, maybe they should let the guy stack crates for a while. Or find him some therapy.

Needless to say, no one wants to go on missions with Kallus after that.

Kallus: "Alright here's what we're gonna do. We're taking the Senator hostage."

Lyste: "Wh-?? Can't we just sneak in and steal a ship or something?"

Kallus: "Security's too tight for that and I don't feel like it. Let's go."

(later)

Kallus: "Change of plans. I'm taking you hostage instead."

Lyste: "?????"

Kallus, loudly: "Nobody move or I blow this civilian's head off!" (to Lyste) "Act like a civilian."

Lyste, hysterical: "I'm panicking, what more do you want me to do???"

Kallus: "I need someone for an infiltration mission. Who wants to volunteer? Lys-"

Lyste: tripping over tables and chairs to get away

Kallus: ...

Kallus: Was it something I said?

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again but it is absolutely an example of civilizational inadequacy that only deaf people know ASL

“oh we shouldn’t teach children this language, it will only come in handy if they [checks notes] ever have to talk in a situation where it’s noisy or they need to be quiet”

I'm sick of internet negativity, so let's combat it: reblog this and saying something nice/pay a compliment to the prev in the tags.

so many people out there want to marry me but i am devoted to tumblr.com

it will never not be funny that kallus spent one (1) night with zeb and decided to say fuck the empire so he could be gay in peace with his furry rebel boyfriend

sound off everyone what’s the worst texture. just in anything. for me it’s ground beef not even a question