*deposits A Creature Into Your Hands*

reviews on famous novel "don't create the torment nexus" are in!

one reviewer gives a one star review, saying, "i can't believe the writer would let the torment nexus exist in this world. doesn't he realize how awful the torment nexus would be in real life?"

another reviewer, with a two star review, says "yeah, the book was okay, the characters were all great, but i just can't get over the torment nexus. why is there such a terrible thing? don't they realize they'd be better off without the torment nexus?"

a third reviewer gave five stars, saying "i'm glad this book was written. they really need to create the torment nexus, that would really improve civilization by a lot." in the comment replies to this review, the reviewer indicated that this review was not sarcasm.

overall, "don't create the torment nexus" has a rating of two stars. find it in these stores......

love the word lackluster. well it sucks because it’s not shiny

drew over something i wrote for a class and liked :] sorry the cars are lowkey ugly, its because I fucking hate cars and cant be bothered to learn what they look like beyond ominous hunks of metal

edit: transcript of the poem by itself under the cut

6 Tips for Crossing the Road

Look both ways

The road is for cars. 

Make sure to look for them before crossing. Even when you have the right of way, cars have a lot of safety features and you have none. 

Use designated crosswalks 

The road is for cars. 

So is the crosswalk but, under brief and temporary conditions, you can use it too! Never jaywalk, never walk in the road, just hope there is a clear and functional sidewalk. 

Cross at the light

The road is for cars. 

There are rules and signs for them, but that can only go so far. Walk quickly and hold your breath and hope that the light doesn't turn. Make eye contact with drivers as their cars teem with potential energy, rumbling with disdain at the inconvenience of your crossing. Try to ignore the cloud of exhaust that you are in and they are above. 

Leash your pets

The road is for cars. 

Obviously. 

To you, it may be natural to sacrifice so much space to them but to your dog, it is not. His instinct is to explore freely. You must curb it. Modern US car models have such high hoods that the average child, let alone dog, is obscured. Even on the sidewalk, hold the leash tight because the sidewalk (if you are so blessed) is next to the street and the threat still looms.

Look out for road kill

The road is for cars. 

And no one was there to leash the deer. 

Or the raccoon. 

Or the cat. 

Did you know that the most reliable sample method for wildlife in an area is looking at the roadkill? 

Remember these tips

The road is for cars. 

Cars are everywhere. In the city. In the suburbs. In the country. In the woods (the US Forest Service manages more roads than the entire Ministry of Transit in China.) Cars are everywhere because there are roads to bring them there, which is great if you are a car and want to get from place to place fast without worrying about the in-between. 

Unfortunately, you are not a car. 

You are an animal. 

You are in-between. 

So remember to look both ways. 

I think Trump’s mistake was that he never took Harris seriously until Biden retracted his candidacy. He never respected her as a serious threat, or even noticed her really, because she’s a woman. Now that he’s forced to acknowledge her existence, he’s scrambling desperately to find a last-minute insult, and it’s not his best work. Classic Witch King of Angmar mistake

Nowadays when I open a PDF on my work computer and immediately hit ctrl+F to search the document for something, usually because I’m looking for a specific section of a manual or something, Adobe PDF reader gives me a little popup that says “Click here to learn about our powerful AI summary features :) :) :)” and it covers the Carl+F box and there’s no way to get rid of it except to wait about 15 seconds. Anyway when are we gonna do the Butlerian Jihad and destroy all thinking machines

Timepiece with the fewest moving parts:

Sundial.

Timepiece with the most moving parts:

Hourglass.