FINALLY Got This Finished! BIG Thanks To @reginamangala For The Toast-tally Perfect Idea Of Al Briefly

Short DPXDC Prompts #599

Dash works at the GCPD. It’s been an interesting first few weeks. He can’t quite understand why everyone is so afraid of these rogues that the Bats and the Birds fight.

The other officers in the station just thought Dash’s comments on the matter was just the new guy talking shit. They ate their words when the newbie brought The fucking Joker into the station in handcuffs single-handedly.

Plot armor but it’s Bruce Wayne’s wealth.

Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.

He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked “#1 worker-friendly corporation”, and productively and profits soar again.

Ok, so clearly investing his workers isn’t the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.

But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WE’s new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.

Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.

Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.

So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because they’ve been claiming all these measures he’s implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and they’re finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyone’s eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. That’ll go well, right?

Gotham’s infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.

Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city is….Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gotham’s infrastructure somehow increases WE’s profits.

Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (it’s not his fault the best administrative system software is WE—he looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.

Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.

Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.

Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. It’s so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce can’t even donate to his own charity.

But by this time, Bruce has children. If he can’t get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?

Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, won’t touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and won’t legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richard’s footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruce’s wealth. And she won’t even accept a trust fund of only one million.

Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then he’s at least not have the money.

So children—generous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, children—are also out.

Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the world’s superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroes—but the public can’t know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.

At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.

The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.

Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.

All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.

Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.

But by GOD is he trying.

The rest of the main ghosts!! Part 1 here

Love them to death

you, reading this. you're a creature now. reblog to creature your followers

So while most of the rouges would probably be smart enough to not fuck with the disaster that is Danny “grew up in an OSHA violation” Fenton, the Joker is not most rouges.

***

Cowards.

The lot of them.

This kid wasn’t any different than the rest.

For all the others had been talking about him and hyping him up, he really wasn’t all that special.

He’d hadn’t even put up a fight!

Pathetic.

He’d found the newest addition to the Wayne brood wandering alone, at night! Now that was just asking for something bad to happen.

Hearing a groan from the cameras he turned to face then again.

The boy had finally awoken.

He watched as he looked around at his surroundings.

He put out much less than he normally would, wanting to see if the stories about the boy were true.

He had heard from Killer Croc that the young Wayne had managed to take down all of his goons with nothing but a paper clip and two green post-it notes. Croc didn’t know where the post-it notes had come from, but apparently the paper clip had been found on the floor next to him.

So naturally, he’d left even less for the child to work with.

Only a small decorative Christmas tree and a little red clown nose. It was Christmas Eve after all, and who doesn’t love clowns.

***

The Batman stared shocked at the mangled broken body, somehow still alive.

Barely, but alive nonetheless.

The only clue as to what had happened was a green post-it note on the Joker’s battered body.

This was my first time writing so I’d really appreciate some thoughts and feedback!

Have a love morning/day/afternoon/evening/night!

This concept hasn’t left me alone since I saw that “Danny is a chemistry wizard who teaches a chem class, but in a very Fenton way” post, and i need to yell it out into the void.

Danny gets adopted by the batfam, but he’s like that with chemistry and mechanics and it gives them all a stroke. Especially Bruce. Doubly so if Danny is his bio kid or clone or something. 

Danny has an allowance and he buys the most concentrated shit on the market with it because he got bored and wanted to see if he could re-create the fear toxin antidote he saw in the cave, especially since they seem pretty low on it. Do they have to get it from somewhere else? Danny knows the Waynes are rich, but there has to be a better way to do it than buying it for an arm and a leg. Maybe he’ll mess around and do the one for joker venom later. 

Lab safety? Oh, yeah Dick, I’ve got my goggles and gloves and jumpsuit on. Of course I have the hood up. Turn on the vent? What vent? Why would I need a vent? Labels? Dude, look at it, it’s cetrimonium chloride. Oh, yeah, that’s the shampoo i got it from. You’d be surprised how many things you can isolate from household stuff. 

Why would I use machines to measure this? Isn’t that for when you’re already busy doing something else? Yeah, like the centrifuge running over there. *gestures vaguely off to the left, to some abomination of mechanics* Whatddya mean that’s a safety hazard? It’ll stay together just fine; I made sure to use a new bike chain.

Where’s the rest of the blueprints? What do you mean “that’s it”? Aren’t there revisions and ideas? Where’s the reminders? Why’s there only one machine???

meanwhile the bats are wondering how the fuck the Fentons get literally anything done with lab safety apparently being a suggestion at best, and their storage system apparently being categorized by nine layers of nonsense and how violent the invention has the potential to be, if Danny’s ramblings are anything to go by. And Bruce “I need plans and contingencies for everything” Wayne is absolutely trying to not have an aneurysm from how much Danny just Does Things with no warning and no way that should feasibly work. 

I think one big reason why we don't consider the stars as important as before (not even pop-astrology anymore cares about the stars or the sky on itself, just the signs deprived of context) is because of light pollution.

For most of human history the sky looked between 1-3, 4 at most. And then all of a sudden with electrification it was gone (I'm lucky if I get 6 in my small city). The first time I saw the Milky Way fully as a kid was a spiritual experience, I was almost scared on how BRIGHT it was, it felt like someone was looking back at me. You don't get that at all with modern light pollution.

When most people talk about stargazing nowadays they think about watching about a couple of bright dots. The stars are really, really not like that. The unpolluted night sky is a festival of fireworks. There is nothing like it.

“ACES BELONG AT PRIDE”

a PSA for the naysayers and encouragement for those who need it. mostly the latter rather than the former, but for those who needed the PSA:

you’re welcome.

※ photos taken May 2018 at Tokyo Rainbow Pride. see more at queerascat.com.

REblog if you are Asexual, support Asexuals, or spend most of your time actually thinking about Superheroes.

This is my headcanon for what happened while Rosie was talking to Charlie