“When I Die, Bury Me With A Headstone Etched With Cryptic Text That Heavily Implies My Grave Is Cursed

Have I mentioned my love for the warlock class? I love the way its set up mechanic wise, the flavor potential, and the spellcasting is evocative as heck!

Want to have a pact with a cosmic being that allows you to summon shooting stars when you cast eldritch blast?

Want to be the only mortal that can comprehend the madness of the great old ones?

Want to have an archfey that abducted you as a child to be the friend of their own child?

Want to have your soul sold to the lord of the hunt before your birth and have to pay the price for it by serving them?

Want to make a pact with a storm elemental that like a symbiote lives in your body disguised as your natural bioelectricity?

Want an ancient dragon to keeps you as part of its hoard and in exchange grants you a long life and its protection?

Want some sword you picked up whisper into your mind that you need to fight against those who oppress you?

Want the spirits of your ancestors to grant you great power to protect the current member of the bloodline?

Want Asamodeus to favor you because you remind them of a mortal they once loved many eons ago?

Want to be the only survivor of a shipwreck and then have the dead souls of your crewmates grant you access to the arcane and in exchange you take care of their unfinished business on the mortal plane?

Warlock! Warlock! Warlock!

Your stats are:

STR:6

INT:17

WIS:15

DEX:8

CON:9

CHR:17

Tbh this quiz is such a motivator to start doing things to increase my STR and DEX scores - you could see the progress so much clearer here

heres a neat little quiz for getting your real life stats

http://www.kevinhaw.com/add_quiz.php

tell me what you get

heres my fucking embarrassing textbook nerd stats

A long-ish rant about deities in D&D

One thing that always bothered me about the various deities in D&D that there is almost no myth attached to them. The deities of D&D are a bit too understandable and logical. They’re just high level characters who also picked up the ability to grant divine spells because reasons I guess, with motivations and interests in the real world, but no myth attached to them.

Which is kinda boring, because myth is so important in religion. When you read about the shit that Mystra or Kelemvor or Cyric did during the Time of Troubles, it’s just that, shit they did, with 100% real and observable consequences, mostly in the way of eating other deities’ portfolios or shifting around the seating order in the pantheon or something, but no mythic resonance to it.

I always liked the sort of idea that deities exist on a level that is not entirely literal and heavily couched in metaphor, and that events in the real world are reflections of what happens on the divine level and vice versa.

Like, on the material plane some people just slowly adopted an agrarian way of life replacing their previous hunter-gatherer lifestyle giving rise to the establishment of the very first cities, which also lead to a shift in religious practice away from the gods of nature and towards gods that had more relevance to life within a city, but on the divine plane it was a full-on war with the gods of nature and the new-fangled city gods duking it out, and both of these are true.

Maybe on the material plane there never was a time when death didn’t exist and people were immortal so the gods had to kill the deity of life to stop more immortal people being born as a consequence of which death was first introduced into the world, but like, that literally happened in the divine realm! Or, like, literally in a metaphorical sense, because as I said the divine realm is all about metaphor.

And like maybe you rarely see the sun and the moon in the sky at the same time because the goddess of the moon is awfully shy and the goddess of the sun is constantly trying to find her because THEY SHOULD BE GIRLFRIENDS

Okay, hot take? Bisexual and pansexual are functionally synonyms, and the decision to ID as one or the other comes down to personal preference and interpretation, and any attempt to further separate the two is driving a wedge between two communities that should have nothing but love and solidarity for one another. 

We have more in common than not, and the words for our respective identities should not be pitted against each other. 

It seems like people in chat don’t get that the idea of a magician’s ‘true name’ having power over them is something that’s almost a constant in fantasy. It’s as much a “reference” as fighting a dragon ‘references’ Beowulf.

I think it was before I started posting story concepts on tumblr but I had an old concept called ‘apocalyptia’ which was a dark comedy about a world where every apocalypse movie premise happened simultaneously

“Wheel”

Chain OC time

Name: Smoke Race: Human Class: Cleric Height/Weight: 5′5″ish/180 lbs Bio: One of the few clerics for the Greenboots, he marched under Red’s command and now King’s. Wielding a spear and a shield, he’s more used as fighting retreat or to hold a position as other Greenboots rush in to defend him. Nicknamed Smoke due to his first day with the Chain, coming in with a short wooden pipe, and insisting on setting up the camp fire. He was there for most of the Alloy campaign, but joined right before the Chain left for Alloy. Heavy drinker.

where the superhero and villain have a common friend that they have to hold it together for

“claire is getting married next week”

“i can reschedule the death ray”

“OH CAN YOU?” 

Art by Jian Guo 

Alignments: ∎ Lawful Good  ∎ Neutral good  ∎ Chaotic good  ∎ Lawful neutral  ∎ Absolute neutrality  ∎ Chaos neutrality  ∎ Lawful evil  ∎ Neutral evil ∎ Chaotic evil