“Do You Have A Clock Yet?” Impulse Asked.

we have it in sweden. come here we don’t bite don’t be scared

ok but when tHE FUCK are we going to get midsomer murders s23 in the uk i am gOING TO COMMIT ARSON I STG—

Scar saw the poll turn green. He cheered to himself and smirked.

“About time someone acknowledged my sexiness,” Scar said to himself. He scrolled back up to the bracket, looking for his next competitor. He read the name and paused.

Technoblade.

He swallowed a large mouthful of air. Behind him, he heard the sick sound of steel scraping its scabbard.

—

“Doc, my brother from another mama!” Ren shouted. He leaned over the edge of the Perimeter, looking for his friend. “Did’ja see the bracket? We’re up against each other!” He heard nothing.

“Doc?” Ren shouted slightly louder.

“I heard, Ren,” Doc said. Ren turned around slowly, finding Doc standing over him in his ripped lab coat, taut muscles exposed to the elements that surrounded him. “And I’m sorry that your time in the bracket has to end this way.”

—

“Oi, Pearl!” Cleo said, landing next to their fellow hermit.

“Hiya, Cleo!” Pearl said. “Is this about the bracket?”

“Yep,” Cleo said. “I just wanted to stop by and say, no hard feelings.”

“Why would there be hard feelings?” Pearl asked.

“Well, no one’s heard from Zloy since I beat him into a pulp,” Cleo said. “I just wanted to make sure you knew there’s no shame in losing.”

“What makes you think you’re gonna win?”

Cleo arched her eyebrows menacingly and glared at Pearl.

“No, Pearl, I don’t think I’m going to win,” they said. “I know.”

—

“Hi Joel!” BDubs shouted. His head had just shot up out of a bush on Joel’s island.

“Good lore, BDubs!” Joel shouted, quickly moving his foot out of the way. “How did you even get here?”

“The power of my sexy prowesses!” BDubs said enthusiastically. He disentangled himself from the foliage and drew himself up to full height, which was not particularly tall. “You know what they’re saying about me on the Tumbles, right?”

“I think they actually think I’m sexier,” Joel said.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” BDubs said, attempting to throw his arm over Joel’s shoulder. Unfortunately, he couldn’t reach, so he awkwardly backed away with an outstretched arm.

“I am, as you know, a very tall and sexy god of lore,” Joel said. “I think that beats ‘weird mossy dwarf’ any day.”

—

Scott cursed as he slipped on a rock. He had been crawling through the wilderness for several hours, searching for his competitor, but he had finally come close. He checked his map one more time, seeing how far he had come. Looking up, he saw a small wooden cabin. He approached it and knocked on the door.

Etho opened it, allowing savory smoke to waft into Scott’s nose.

“What’s up?” Etho asked.

“I just came to tell you…” Scott said nervously, “we’re up against each other in the bracket…”

“Oh, that’s fun!” Etho said.

“And that I’m going to tell my fans that if they don’t vote for me they’re homophobic,” Scott said.

Scott couldn’t see it, but deep down he knew that Etho was frowning disapprovingly.

—

Grian walked into Mumbo’s base, following some weird, high-pitched noise from his own base.

“MumboJumbo!” a voice was singing. “I am hotter!”

"Mumbo?” Grian whispered hopefully. Following the sound, he walked deeper, approaching the slight opening in the walls of Mumbo’s vault. The noise grew, and Grian’s hopes grew with it.

Those hopes deflated when he entered and saw Slimecicle dropping slimeballs on every surface.

“MumboJumbo!” the autotuned voice continued. “Come and fight me!”

Grian sighed heavily, turned, and left.

—

Wilbur was walking towards his front door when he noticed Joe Hills sitting on his porch.

“Oh,” Wilbur said. “You’re Joe, right?”

"Yes I am!” Joe said.

“Is this about the bracket?” Wilbur asked.

“Oh, that silly thing?” Joe said. “No, not in the slightest! I just wanted to say howdy!”

“Do you want to come in or something?” Wilbur offered. “I have soup if you want it. And I’ve been told I make some pretty good burgers.”

“No, that’s fine,” Joe said. “I’m good just sitting right here.”

“OK, then,” Wilbur said, opening the door. He walked inside and looked around. On a hunch, he checked upstairs. Nothing was amiss. He came back down to find Joe sitting exactly where he had left him.

“Are you going to… move or something?” Wilbur asked.

“No, I think I’ll sit right here for the next…” he checked his phone. “22 hours and 57 minutes.”

—

Grian returned to his cave to find Quackity lounging on a dark oak stair in front of the portal.

“Hiya!” Quackity said.

"Oh no,” Grian said nervously. “What do you want?”

“I thought I’d skip ahead a bit and try to cut a deal,” he said. “You see, I know I can’t win against you. You’ve got way too many stans.”

“Look, if this is about the bracket, I don’t really care-”

“Look, Grian. I have an offer.” Quackity stood up and walked towards the hermit. “Let’s pool our votes and form a ticket together. We can be co-sexymen!”

“No no no no no,” Grian said. “I’ve heard this story before.”

“But I have to beat Wilbur!” Quackity said. “Come on, man. What the fu-”

“Nope!” Grian interjected, shoving Quackity back through the Rift.

Behind him, Grumbot lit up. He whirred briefly, and then spat out a message.

WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?

“This is a family-friendly server, Grumbot,” Grian said.

something very funny to me about the progression of desert duo over the life series. we really went from "i'd die for you" to "i'm indifferent to you" to "i hate you" to "i'm going to actively murder you"

alternatives for ai to design ocs

hero forge

picrew

the fucking sims 4

your local furry artist

bitmoji

shitty photoshoped collage

DeviantArt bases

zepeto

making edits of your favorite character

searching "dress up game" on the app store

learning how to draw

I AM CHOKING OF LAUGHTER—

LIKE IM DYING /j

my collection

LIMITED LIFE LIMITED LIFE LIMITED LIFE LIMITED LIFE LIMITED LIFE LIMITED LIFE

Scar: how did he get so far up the hill?  Skizz: he’s cookin—

Grian: I do squats—I squat

Scar: never misses a leg day am I right?

Grian: every day is leg day

(Nine seconds of silence)

Scar: can’t relate 

omg wth this is so cool

Did someone say COMPLETE DATA ANALYSIS OF ALL THE DEATHS IN THE LIFE SERIES? No? Well. I did it. Here are some neat graphs for you guys to look at so that you don’t have to deal with the gigantic spreadsheet I did!

Let’s start off with the big bad question: what gets people killed in this game, anyway?

Note that a CAUSE OF DEATH is not the same as a KILL. Cause of death is what pops up in the chat when someone dies (ex. PearlescentMoon was slain by Smallishbeans, BdoubleO100 fell from a high place). The cause of death does not always account for player responsibility (ex. TNT traps). Generally, a player is only considered to be someone’s cause of death if the death occurs through direct PvP combat. HOWEVER, responsibility for an indirect kill such as a trap still goes toward a player’s total kill count—for example, Joel has 14 kills overall, 10 of which are direct enough for him to be considered the actual cause of death. After all, axes don’t kill people without being swung by someone.

A few other whacky things about kill counts:

Self-inflicted deaths do not count toward a player’s kill count (ex. Grian doesn’t get a kill for jumping off Monopoly Mountain at the end of 3rd Life, Scott doesn’t get a kill for blowing himself up at the end of Double Life).

When it comes to Double Life, soulmates are considered to share their three lives. No distinction is made between Soulmate A's life and Soulmate B's life, and each death only counts as one kill (ex. Joel gets one kill for killing Scott with fireworks, even though that also killed Pearl (however, Pearl’s cause of death is still Joel, as her life is considered the same as Scott’s)).

Using the /kill command does not count toward your kill count. Grian.

With that cleared up, let’s look at kill counts.

By the skin of his teeth, Grian leads the pack in total kills. The top three you see on that graph are the only players who have a KDR (kill-to-death ratio) of more than 1—for you folks who are unfamiliar with those, a KDR of more than 1 means you kill other people more often than you die. Less than 1 means you die more often than you kill other people. Here are the highest and lowest KDRs in the series:

“What’s this?” I hear you say. “Jimmy Wet-Paper-Bag-of-a-Man Solidarity DOESN’T have the lowest KDR in the series?”

No. No, he does not, and it’s actually really funny you should ask.

Because of Last Life’s mechanic of life transferring, even players that have been in all three installments of the Life Series don’t have the same death count. Eight players died more than three times in Last Life. Another eight died exactly three times. And one player only died twice.

By virtue of starting on yellow and never receiving any extra lives in Last Life, Jimmy holds the record for fewest deaths in an installment of the Life Series with just two deaths in Last Life. He is the only player to ever die less than three times in a game. This means that although he has just one kill, he has fewer total deaths than BigB (who has died a very standard nine times), the only other player with one kill, so his KDR is higher. Congrats, Jimmy, you’re not last in everything. But you are still the only player without a PvP kill.

Speaking of PvP, it’s time to look at how people do that! Here’s a graph of the top five weapons that tend to land PvP kills the most in the series:

And now here’s weapon preferences by game:

[Double Life not depicted due to lack of PvP deaths—only 4 occurred, using a diamond axe, a diamond sword, fireworks, and an iron axe respectively.]

Despite 19 more deaths occurring in Last Life than 3rd Life, the two actually have the exact same amount of PvP kills (28). It’s interesting to note the strong preference for bows in 3rd Life, which was a much more warlike game and had several fairly formal battles where people fought from a distance. Last Life required an overall sneakier strategy, resulting in a higher use of traps. In combat, non-ranged weapons like swords and axes were generally preferred due to fights often starting in close proximity and without warning, courtesy of the Boogeyman curse. Comparatively, Double Life saw remarkably few PvP kills, likely due to each person being twice as accident-prone by virtue of being linked to another player—in fact, with a total of 12, accidents accounted for three times as many deaths as PvP in Double Life and overall for more than half (57%) of the deaths in the game.

As for individual player stats sheets, here’s an example of one of those:

If you want to see one of those for ALL 17 PLAYERS, you can go to this slideshow! More details about the stats can be found in the presentation notes of each slide. And, if you have a really specific question and want to get into the nitty gritty, feel free to send me an ask! Hope you guys enjoyed the data!

Centuries. Yes I was/am a countryhumans fan

the (after) life of the party

I had this idea for a while and I finally actually did it woo!!

ac deathc6mp ig

I put the art creds in the edit but just now realized how small n short it is so art is by shepscapades!! ^_^*