Sorry 😞

i truly cannot IMAGINE what it would be like to attend palmetto state university

like wdym the two confirmed murderers are majoring in CRIMINAL JUSTICE and FUCKING PREMED respectively why is no one worried about this

why is 6’1 broody asshole tattooed exy prodigy kevin day getting unreasonably heated in his classical history socratic seminars

and allison??? like imagine if kendall jenner got disowned and joined a fucking college hockey team

why does the redhead from calculus look like hes about to kill himself every time his phone buzzes

why does the angelic pastel haired reborn christian regularly spar with the evil blonde twunk

why does the redhead from calculus have a maserati but literally only wears clothes from walmart

what could they have possibly done to deserve getting all the psu athletes cars destroyed, and even having animal carcasses left inside

it must be especially crazy as another athlete in the tower bc they overhear the craziest shit. like imagine just chilling with the soccer team and one door down the exy players are screaming in 5 different languages and trying their level best to kill each other so you go to the coach and he just brushes it off like nah that happens sometimes don’t worry

and no one for the life of them can figure out who’s dating who on that team bc kevin follows andrew around like a lost puppy despite being a full foot taller, but he has a weird love-hate mutually obsessive relationship with neil, but neil’s the only person who andrew answers to and kevin has an equally big crush on jeremy knox, but andrew spends all his time with making up hypothetical apocalypse scenarios with renee, who might be dating the teams resident millionaire supermodel who wears rainbow stilettos and also was involved with the guy who got murdered, and their coach and nurse are def a thing too like what

there are just SO many outsider povs that i desperately need

- the busboy who got grabbed by some blasted tiny menace begging him to punch his lights out for 100 bucks, and then did

- kathy ferdinand.

- the guy who randomly gave this absolutely plastered pro athlete a facial tattoo at like 3 in the morning

- wymack standing there watching neil just straight up stick andrew’s hand up his shirt

- roland thinking andriel were fucking the whole time come to find out he accidentally outed andrew’s raging neil boner and probably got the shit beaten out of him

- any fbi agents/members of law enforcement that have interacted with (ie. been subjected to and terrorized by) one neil josten

- the cheerleader squad in millport that neil had beef with

- katelyn discovering her boyfriend and his twin brother made a lifelong bros before hoes pact that they’re both actively breaking

- the reporter listening to kevin say that his broken hand wasn’t an accident, wymack is his father, he’s never going back to the ravens, and then proceeded to have a panic attack

- the other ravens during the Riko Roast who had no clue who this mouthy little fuckwad was, watched him verbally eviscerate their leader, then see him weeks later at the nest playing on their field with a court number tat, only for him to fuck off and never come back

- also literally any other exy team at these banquets watching The Kevin Day regularly chug half a bottle of liquor on the bus before walking into formal galas

- the waitress in the mountains who saw neil post-torture and got the explanations of skateboarding, bad breakup, and fell into a tank of piranhas, simultaneously

- that guy who sold neil his new racket only to turn on tv later to find out it was used as a murder weapon, and the dude still wants more of them

- the workers at eden who watched one of their regulars attempt to kill 4 grown men and the other one later successfully kill one

- the sports announcers reporting as riko literally tries to murder neil live on national television

Tell them the air is halal too

Nathan stands at his left. Mary stands at his right.

Neil doesn’t turn to look at them, but he can feel them there—one carved into his ribs, the other burned into his skin.

He is made of them.

Of his father’s brutality, his mother’s desperation. Of bruises layered over bruises, of fists and sharp words and the lesson that pain was the only thing he could count on.

Nathan’s voice is smooth, proud, as it murmurs in his ear.

"You were built for more than this, Nathaniel."

Mary’s whisper is sharp, urgent, dripping with every frantic mile they ever ran.

"You don’t understand what it means to survive."

Nathan had tried to shape him into something ruthless. Mary had tried to strip him down to something weightless.

And neither of them had ever asked what he wanted to be.

Neil closes his eyes.

Nathan’s presence is heavy, all iron and control and the scent of blood that will never wash away.

Mary’s is lighter, but just as cruel—a ghost that lingers, a reminder that even love can leave bruises.

They will always be here.

Because Neil is made of them.

Of a father who saw him as a tool, and a mother who saw him as a liability.

Of a life spent running, and a body full of evidence that he was never meant to survive this long.

His shoulders ache under the weight of them.

And no matter how far he goes, they will never leave.

Me bc I hated kaichou wa maid sama from the first time I watched it even though everyone else my age loved it I have been plotting that fucker usui’s death ever since I was 10 years old

Lool petty king

never forget that odysseus had a daily cry on calypso’s beach for the entire 7 years he was there

i do find it very interesting how different the foxes and the trojans go about caring for and supporting each other. well, actually, i mostly find it interesting how differently people seem to feel about it, especially in regards to kevin's drinking problem.

the way kevin's clearly unhealthy relationship with alcohol doesn't get condemned or fixed in the original trilogy for example is something that many people in the fandom have been pretty upset and critical about for many years and jean's reaction to it seemed to have really moved people (though that in particular, imo, had at least as much to do with jean's very restricted and in itself unhealthy relationship to food and drinks as with him uniquely seeing and caring about kevin's substance abuse issues. like, yeah, he really, really cares about him, but i don't think he'd have been thaaat much less upset if kevin was coping by eating chips or something. but well, whatever).

but to me, that never really read as no one caring about kevin or thinking alcohol is the ideal way for him to regulate his emotions.

the whole premise of how wymack runs the foxes and how they treat each other is just very built around the idea that all these people have been through awful things and that the way they'll cope with that won't always be pretty. but as long as they cope at all, they'll be around for another day, and another, which'll buy them to actually get better.

which is how you get stuff like wymack, in good conscience, not only tolerating but at times even soliciting underage drinking. and looking past the harder drugs some of the team are doing. and it's how him and the team all accept that neil is definitely lying about pretty much everything but mostly just leave him be. and how they all agreed to let andrew get off his legally mandated medication during games even though that could have terrible consequences for all of them. and how matt's mom said "sure random eighteen year old calling me on the phone, do give my addict son speedballs, you seem to have a higher success rate at getting teenagers clean than me 👍" because they all view life less as you're either doing good or you doing bad, and more as you're either surviving whatever it takes to do so, or you don't, so who cares if you aren't coping in healthy or acceptable ways, as long as you are coping. (and then once they're ready to work on getting better, they do have a support system in place to help them get there)

meanwhile the trojans are mostly pretty normal and well adjusted, so they have a pretty clear idea of what a healthy person who's doing well looks like, and that's what they generally want for other people, especially those they care about. so when they see someone who's not doing well and not dealing with it in healthy ways they are very direct about it, sort of a "your behaviour is not healthy, stop doing it" thing. your eating habits are really restrictive? try eating different food anyways, it's really good, i prommy. you hurt yourself when you're upset? here's how to physically stop this from hurting. you get incredibly startled when you're touched unexpectedly? well, just let me try hugging you again. you drink to deal with your feelings? please don't, it's not good for you.

and obviously that's a lot more normal and straight forward than what the foxes are doing, and it's done with love and support. and a lot of fans find it very moving and beautiful and sweet. but i also know that i'm not the only person who was really put off by this and still finds it kinda disconcerting. to me it feels, especially in contrast to the foxes, who would largely find this sooo overbearing and rude and uncomfortable, kinda like strongarming someone into doing well, with (at least in the context of these specific books) shockingly little regard for personal boundaries.

my point isn't that one's better than the other or anything, i think both approaches are going to work differently well for different people and within the books it makes perfect sense why the different teams would act this way, and it's also perfectly understandable why some people really resonate with one approach and find the other irritating or unkind. it's simply some thoughts that have been rattling around in my head. building up to: nothing really. oh well

Ive got this funky aftg au in my head where Nathan loves Mary and Neil and Mary and Nathan both hatch a mad plan where she takes Neil on the run and he chases after them for nearly a decade in order to protect Neil from the moriyamas of course neither of them tell Neil who thinks genuinely that his father is trying to kill them both which is weird this time because while Neil was being trained in the art of serial killing au!Nathan has never tried to kill him before or let anyone else hurt him. the inner circle are more loyal to the moriyamas so they also think Nathan wants mary and Neil dead. Lola kills Mary in Seattle before she can explain literally anything to Neil so he doesnt find out about any of this until Nathan walks into the basement and kills his inner circle. Nathan and Stuart coordinate with the fbi to take down the moriyamas and take over their territory and Neil is just like ????? WHAT IS GOING ON