Prologue (Shit's About To Go Down.)

Lola in the clothes of giants¿¿

Maui is not obese

Maui is a powerful demigod. Big and strong and… oh, you think he looks fat?

That’s probably because you’ve been conditioned by the media to accept this

as what strong and fit looks like. Amiright?

Sadly… these guys are not all that strong. Yeah, they got muscles… but they aren’t built in a useful way. They are built for looks and that’s about it.

This… 

is a strong guy. Actually a competitor in the Strongman competition. But… his tummy sticks out and he doesn’t look like a Dorito. 

You know who else is strong?

These guys…

And Maui…

Look at those arms, omg. And that solid, sturdy torso. You can see a shadow where his meat covers his ribs, but he doesn’t look like any slouch to me.

And this guy…

That’s Dwayne Johnson’s grandfather. When the Disney animators showed him their sketches of Maui, he pulled out a picture of his grandfather and showed it to them because he was amazed how similar they looked. This dude was also a pro wrestler.

There’s actually a great infographic about ab muscles and stuff over HERE. but this is the part i want to show you.

Now… look at Maui again.

That thickness don’t move like fat. It doesn’t jiggle and he’s able to flex it. Look at how it sits on his body. It doesn’t sag… he doesn’t have a gut. There’s even a slight V shape to his torso.

It’s just big and not ‘defined’.

And people aren’t used to that.

(sorry, this isn’t the most organized post… i kinda just let it all spill out)

Twst/DDV AU? [OB!Characters]

Has anyone ever done a Twisted Wonderland/Disney Dreamlight Valley AU? A reader that comes from DDV, who knows and even grew up with all of the seven (I know not all of them are in the game, but they surely can be added with time), and the reader just keeps on talking about them as if they were friends. The scandal!

Riddle would collar you as soon as you dared to speak so casually of the Queen of Hearts, but once you showed him some pictures of you and the Queen going on tea parties, he would be so sorry for it. He would be fascinated with you because if the Queen was that close of a friend with you, surely it was for a good reason!

Leona would be somewhat impressed. I mean, Scar isn't one to be friendly with anyone, so you getting along with Scar would make him want to find out how interesting you truly are.

As soon as Azul hears that you are friends with Ursula, you are getting promotional coupons for Monstro Lounge. You want something that isn't on the menu? He's got you covered! Someone is annoying you? They will be taken care of! Of course, all of it comes at a cost. Azul wants to know everything about his greatest idol, Ursula!

Kalim would be fascinated to learn that you know any of the seven. He would want you to spend the day at Scarabia just so you could share all your childhood tales with them. Kalim might even host a party so that everyone could come together and listen to your stories. In the middle of all those tales, you notice that whenever you bring up Jafar, Jamil seems to be somewhat more interested in the topic.

By the Seven! Vil wants—no, he needs to know all the details. Is she as beautiful as they state in the stories? Just like Kalim, you spend most of the time telling everything to Vil like some gossip. He will be doing your makeup while you talk. Rook joins to ask you about Snow White, and you swear that you had never seen Vil roll his eyes so badly at someone.

Idia wouldn't be very interested in the subject. Or would he? He can't deny that it is kind of impressive you knowing the Seven and even being friends with all of them. He'd probably overhear some of your stories through some cameras, and soon Ortho would catch him being so enthralled in them that he would invite you over to meet his brother in person. Much to Idia's dismay.

This literally means you know Malleus's grandmother, you totally have her blessing for the two of you to get married. He would be so surprised! And when you go into full detail with various stories, he can't stop but hear them, almost as if he is looking at some gargoyles.

When you return to Dreamlight Valley and meet up with the Seven, you talk about all the boys you have met that oddly resemble each of them. Slowly, this seems to turn into a betting game between the Seven to see which one of the boys you will end up with. Each one of them will hold your attention for as long as possible to talk about their favorite, and they will sabotage everyone's ideas.

You will be having a tea party with Riddle, the two of you laughing at some silly stories you were telling him. The Queen of Hearts is so giddy and happy, and then it starts raining heavily, ruining the tea date. Maleficia grins at The Queen of Hearts for ruining her plans.

One day, you are napping with Leona in the botanical garden, enjoying such a peaceful moment. He is reaching for you, trying to take you in a hug when suddenly a bucket of water is dropped on top of him! Oops! You look at the student in question, and for a second, feel that their eyes had a weird tone of color to them but didn't question it as you watched Leona run after them. There you have Jafar mocking Scar's lazy tactics.

Eating lunch with Azul, the two of you talk about school-related stuff, his hand getting slowly closer to yours on top of the table. But before he can hold it, he starts coughing, needing to excuse himself to the bathroom. The Evil Queen laughs, having tampered with Azul's food, and Ursula can only watch as she plans her revenge.

Jamil and you are cooking; he is teaching you some of the dishes from Scalding Sands. You watch as he places his hand on top of yours, trying to demonstrate how to correctly cut the vegetables, and then a fire starts! Jamil apologizes millions of times, for this had never happened before. And Jafar rolls his eyes as he hears Hades's laugh behind him.

Helping you pick out some clothes, Vil decides that the best option would be making custom clothes for you. He takes your measurements, touching your soft skin with the excuse of getting the right fit. The intimate moment gets interrupted when a thunderbolt sounds outside, and you watch as Vil's face pales, he had nicked himself with the needle, piercing his perfect skin. He leaves you there alone for the next few moments, as The Evil Queen takes notes on how to ruin Maleficia's day.

Malleus and you are walking around the school campus at night on your typical stroll. There is a small lake next to the two of you, your hands touching from time to time as he slowly gains the courage to fully take hold of your hand. However, a fish literally spits water on him, ruining the moment. Maleficia needs to hold her own magical powers before she fries Ursula.

I didn't write about Scar and The Queen of Hearts sabotaging the dates because, to be honest, I don't know what they could do. I believe Scar would heavily focus on talking about how Leona is perfect for you in every aspect, flaunting his wealth and good looks. The Queen of Hearts would also have a similar approach, she would invite you to have some tea with her while speaking of Riddle's charm and his composed gentleman ways.

If this was been done before, or something similar please do tell me because I love this idea so much and I totally want to see more of it.

I want boopies for the Boopmageddon

There's a small part of me that hasn't known peace since I found out about this

(Scraped ending) THIS IS SAD YET A SICK CONCEPT (in a good way)

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I am officially old! Hooray! 🎉

Strange bugs.

I coloured ASL from this post about the Monkey siblings.

Such a sore loser bafoon(orange)

[Insert facepalm here]

Color spread redraw!