Seras: Can I Go Outside?

Seras: Master, are you sure you can drive?

Alucard: Police Girl, I am an ancient undead vampire who has powers you can't possibly begin to understand. I think I can drive a simple car into town.

*thirty minutes later*

Integra: What do you mean my car is at the bottom of the Thames?!

Alucard: ...

Alucard: The Police Girl gives horrible directions.

Seras: WHAT.

Dating John Doe Would Be Like This:

A/N: So I'm just starting to write for slashers, creepypastas and other dark yanderes like Doe here. Requests are open for hcs and imagines, but I won't write smut 🙃 (The image below isn't mine.) Enjoy!

Warnings: Unhealthy and obsessive loving behaviour, mentions of violence, emotional manipulation

👁• Well, you've gotten his attention immediately, just for being you. Congratulations! Doe's never going to let you go now. You're stuck in a neverending loop of coming across him until you accept his love and let him seep into your life.

👁• John Doe loves everything about you. Every little thing. He wants to know as much as he can about who you are, your deepest secrets... privacy? Personal space? Never heard of them.

👁• He is very, very obsessive, no matter what you're doing. You could be simply watching TV, and Doe's not watching the channel at all, because you're so close together, as you're supposed to be, and he can't help the repeated swooning thoughts of how he just love love loves you!!! John also follows you to where you work, at the gas station, and will stare at you lovingly while you work and help out when you ask him to for the whole day. If you're shy or uneasy by the constant staring and attention, it only makes Doe more motivated to keep doing it, because the blushing and avoiding meeting his eye is so cute!!

👁• His main love languages are physical touch and words. I mean, his words are usually just giddy rambles and crazed staring in between the sentences, but his physical touch is practically suffocating. Whenever Doe can touch you, he will be, because he's very clingy with you. Now that you're together, he's not about to let you go, and the public will have to see that when you're out and about and your hand's gripped tightly in his, or an arm wrapped firmly around your waist.

👁• He's also a big hugger and cuddler, but you'll frequently have to remind him that he's holding you too tightly or that you can't concentrate on whatever you're doing while he's right up in your face and watching your every move. His cuddles include him burying his face into the crook of your neck and breathing your scent in, because it's completely unique to you, and anything to do with you is perfect in his mind. John Doe also loves kissing you, because you taste so sweet, and he could get high off the feeling because you're so addictive!

👁• John's also extremely protective. If anyone attempts to flirt with you or becomes too friendly for his liking, they won't last long at all. He could make a horrifying expression to make the weaker ones back off, but then again, could kill them, even in front of you to make a point. "Darling, why are you crying? They don't mean anything to you, now do they? Ohh, but you are cute when you're scared-"

👁• He doesn't have much of a social life, so if you do... well, that's a tricky one. Doe might give in to your sweet pleas for him to join you and your friends to go out and get drinks fr a couple of hours, or he could emotionally manipulate you into staying. "You- you're leaving me here, by myself?! Why? Don't you love me...? But you love them more than you love me. Then stay here, please??"

👁• If you're easily disturbed by blood, then you'll have to tell John not to leave you such gory gifts. He'll start getting you little things that you personally like instead of violent trinkets and stuff like that.

👁• He reminds you he loves you every day, every hour, and if you don't say it back, Doe will pout and give you big sad eyes until you do. If you tell him you love him randomly tone day before he does, he'll be over the moon, and clingier than ever.

👁• John Doe will do anything for you, and I mean anything. He'll be anything you want, too, but he might just cry if you tell him you prefer him looking as he naturally does and that he doesn't need to change for you. Any hobbies you have are now his, because he wants to share and bond over everything he can with you. It's only fair, right?

👁• He's not completely above brainwashing you into agreeing with him and seeing things from his perspective, but that's only if it's something big, especially if you somehow ignore him. But Doe prefers your responses to be from the heart.

👁• John doesn't really like it when you choose to have a bath or shower too often. He's come to understand that you do need to shower because you want to keep clean, but he'll insist on you getting unscented soaps and things.

👁• He adores it when you help paint his nails, and he'll do the same for you! He's surprisingly steady and careful when he's concentrated and not distracted by how completely beautiful you look. Doe also loves it when you wear his hoodies, or match his aesthetic and colours by wearing black and red. "Look, my love, we're matching!! We're just made for each other, aren't we? Aren't we?!"

👁• His home is a mess, and you can try cleaning some of the junk up when you're over, though it's not a great idea to examine the blood-stained bits and pieces buried within the chaos. So, it's better to hang out at your place. Doe also likes it when you brush his hair, even though it'll never stay down and straight and smooth. Still, he loves the feeling and attention, and will soak it all up with a lovestruck grin.

👁• The symbol on his t-shirt constantly changes with his mood, which is a good way to keep track of his feelings. It's almost always love and adoration when he's around you, and he's around you most of the time, even if you can't spot him at first.

👁• All in all, he's not a bad boyfriend if you can take his clingy, obsessive loving nature and violent tendencies to any minor threats to you and your love life. John Doe's a pretty creepy guy, but he loves you to death, and in the end, everything he does is for you.

Integra is pretty much the entire reason I read Hellsing.

ffffuuuucccckkkkk i need an art like RGB singing into Dial's head

THE TWO CLINGING ONTO EACH OTHER IN TERROR THINKING THEY’RE ABOUT TO BE OBLITERATED AND RGB SHIELDING HERO WITH HIS OWN BODY KILLS ME

careful repairs (on clive)

blep

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