Yeeeees. I Want To Read This.

Yeeeees. I want to read this.

Listen, I know Dream winning his duel with Lucifer with hope is like... A BIG DEAL and super symbolic and beautiful, HOWEVER I have something that may not be better, but would definitely be FUNNIER. 

Dream loses. He's been locked in a bubble and had his hopes dashed again and again, even though he's still fighting and still hopeful, it's harder for him to reach that and it doesn't come to mind in time for him to win against Lucifer. He's to stay as a servant in Hell and there's no Endless or divine being that can or will come to his aid. He's trapped. Again. 

Only Matthew isn't Jessamy, Matthew knows when the best way to help is a tactical retreat to gather reinforcements. So that's what he does, going immediately to Luciene like, "Hey, so, uh..." And there has to be some way they can help him! Luciene makes it clear that none of the dreaming denizens can. None of the Endless can, no deity would be of any help there against Lucifer. There are Old Laws dictating that Dream lost fair and square and no one can interfere with that. And Matthew's like, "Well what about someone who can challenge Lucifer to win him back? Someone not bound by the Old Laws?" 

"The only beings not bound by the Old Laws are humans. There's no human--" 

Except there is. There's one. One human that Dream would go off once a century to meet, and it's a long shot, but-- 

That's how Hob Gadling finds himself being approached by a talking raven asking him to trek into hell to rescue his boss. "You know, Dream of the Endless? Lord Morpheus?" 

Hob doesn't know who the hell the bird is talking about until Matthew describes him. "Oh, my Stranger!"

"...He seriously didn't even tell you his name?" 

Now, the idea of setting foot into Hell itself to do battle with Lucifer Morningstar is, y'know... Not something he wants to do. He confirms over and over if Matthew is SURE he doesn't have to die to achieve this, because he's not ready to leave yet, and Matthew is like, "Yeah, buddy, shouldn't be a problem." He's lying. He has no idea if it's a problem. (It's not.) 

Hob is like, "Yeah, but... I can't FIGHT Satan himself and expect to win, I AM still human." 

And Matthew's like, "You don't actually have to fight her, it's like a game! But uh... Pretty sure you still feel all the pain and stuff." And he explains the rules, and like, okay, feeling the painful death of whatever kills whatever you decide to be in your round SUCKS, but Hob's been through that before. It's actually a pretty intriguing game, one he thinks he might win. 

See, the way he sees it, it's a combination of the "times infinity" type of game (I love you, I love you more, I love you times two, I love you times a thousand, I love you times a million-- so on and so on) with that counting game where you either say one or two numbers, back and forth with someone, and whoever says 21 loses. Basically, there's one logical conclusion the game is going to reach. Someone is going to bust out the "times infinity" or in this case, "heat death of the universe" or some other completely life-ending thing. And like with the counting game, if you can get your opponent to say specific numbers on the way to 21, you can make sure they're forced to say it. 

There's a strategy if you think ahead enough, and he has an entire walk through Hell to plan it. 

(It SUCKS. He sees Robyn there. It breaks his heart. It's meant to, it's meant to keep him from reaching the palace, seeing his son in Hell, but they don't know Hob. They don't know the grief he's had to overcome in order for him to say, with absolute certainty, that he still wants to live even though it hurts. He reaches that citadel.)

Dream is, of course, horrified to see Hob there. Hob meanwhile is like a jilted exe all, "Yeah, yeah, we're not friends, you stood me up, but I'm still here for you because I'm the bigger person and I fucking care." 

He challenges Lucifer for Dream's helm and their safe passage out of Hell. Lucifer is... Intrigued. She just beat Dream of the Endless, and this human thinks he can beat her when humanity's collective unconsciousness couldn't? His immortality has made him cocky, clearly. So she accepts, and bargains that if Hob loses, he has to give up his immortality. 

There's a good minute where Hob pauses at that and has to really think about whether his arrogant, condescending not-friend is really worth that but yeah, yeah he is. Meanwhile Dream is off to the side. "Don't do this, Hob Gadling. It is not your responsibility to fix my missteps." Basically his version of pleading for Hob to leave and not risk this up until Lucifer is like enough out of you and shuts him up. 

They play. Lucifer starts out with the wolf again, because it's a good starting point to see what direction her opponent plans to take, to get a glimpse into Hob's mindset entering this game. Her plan is, of course, to cause pain enough that Hob will have a hard time thinking, but Hob makes that really fucking hard from the get-go and throws everyone in the room for a loop when his answer is...

"I am the over hunting of the local deer population. Ecosystem destabilizing, predator killing."

Well. Okay. Yeah, sure. Fucking fine. It's hard to kill that painfully. Lucifer manages to come up with, "I am hunting restrictions, nature preserving, ecosystem balancing." 

Hob, by that point, is like, I got this, actually. This might be fun. "I am the expansion of civilization. Forest destroying, hunting law nullifying." 

Matthew, who had been feeling pretty iffy about calling this guy in to help, is no longer questioning that choice. Dream is a little starry-eyed. 

Eventually Hob is the head of the Home Owner's Association. Lucifer is a bear, scrap hunting, person killing. Hob is family, revenge-seeking, bear euthanizing. Lucifer is Pride, argument starter, family destroying. Hob is friendship, blood covenant, thicker than womb water. Lucifer is jealousy, friendship rending, relationship ruining. Hob is personal growth, jealousy ending, apology giving. Lucifer is relapse, progress destroying, confidence killing. Hob is perseverance, step taking, progress rebuilding. On and on until finally Lucifer decides to end this the way she did with Dream and Hob leads her along until it reaches that natural conclusion, the death of all. 

Now there's some temptation there to go with the obvious, since he can't die even if the universe was destroyed. At least he doesn't think so. But he had already decided that it was an obvious choice to go for and he could think of a few clever ways Lucifer might get around that. So instead, Hob goes the far better choice and personal insult of being God, universe creator, life giver. He's very proud of himself when the demons erupt into boos and Lucifer looks about ready to rip his fucking throat out with her teeth. 

The way he sees it, there are two choices for her there, unless she really pulls something unexpected out of her ass. Option one is the whole "what's a god to an atheist" thing in which Hob would have then been a miracle, faith affirming, god-proving. Not much can destroy a miracle. 

But Lucifer, livid and prideful, goes with option two. "I am Lucifer Morningstar, God defying, His Kingdom ripped sunder!" 

And Hob has the absolute glee to grin and go, "I am Hob Gadling, clever, death defying, and triumphant over Lucifer Morningstar."

He and Dream are promptly kicked out of Hell on their asses, Dream's helm is thrown at his head with a force strong enough to break the sound barrier, and the gates are slammed shut behind them. The whole thing is so humiliating that Lucifer has to change their gender and moves to LA to open a nightclub.

More Posts from Leloudlizbirb and Others

5 months ago

Same

Tim froze. "Huh?"

"I mean, you're definitely cute. But I don't feel comfortable with strangers? And I don't want there to be any misunderstandings."

Danny Nightingale looked flustered, nervous, and far too pretty with his cheeks flushing red under the glow of the nearby lamp fixtures. Tim wondered when his brain would finally come back online. Right now it was far too interested in putting everything else on the backburner.

On one hand, he had been trying to get information out of Danny on his connection to Vlad Masters- a connection that had seemed more tenuous with each passing minute of the evening. On the other, Tim could admit it had sounded a bit like he was inviting Danny for something more.

And if he was honest with himself, it was only mostly unintentional.

"It's not even you, I just get attached really easily and don't want something casual. Sorry."

Tim hadn't even realized boundary setting could be so attractive.

"No. Yeah, that's- fine." Smooth. The Drake-Wayne charm at its finest. Tim could hear Jason snickering on the comms.

8 months ago

Fun little factoid, hyenas are more related to cats than to dogs. They are essentially cat hardware with dog software.

Oh Hyenas & Their Catnip 🙂‍↔️
Oh Hyenas & Their Catnip 🙂‍↔️

Oh hyenas & their catnip 🙂‍↔️

7 months ago

I love this. Exactly how I pictured this scene

"Woah dude. You look like shit."

"Woah Dude. You Look Like Shit."

Some fanart of @starry-bi-sky 's blood blossom prompt and fic. Featuring a bat-notyet-dad and the personification of childhood trauma. The fic is called "Late at night, when the nightingale sings".

Imagine thinking your life is bad, and then a dying child waltzes over and bleeds on you.

2 weeks ago

Do you know our favorite/most popular headcannon that Danny has white hair at the bottom of his hairline.

I once had a dream where Danny dyed the white part of his hair a different flag each few days during pride month.

I might use it for my fanfic.

No other notes.


Tags
4 years ago
An Undead Monster Based (loosely) On A Globster.
An Undead Monster Based (loosely) On A Globster.
An Undead Monster Based (loosely) On A Globster.
An Undead Monster Based (loosely) On A Globster.

an undead monster based (loosely) on a globster.

1 year ago

Honestly, I kinda want to see Jason Todd and Billy Batson to meet. I mean, who wouldn't want to see two street kids who basically had to fight to stay alive meet? They don't even have to meet as their secrets identities.

Maybe Bats had a JL meeting at the batcave or smth and Billy just decided, you know what Bruce needs? Another chaos child running around the streets of Gotham. Maybe Jason sees Billy do some petty street crime and decides, I like this kid, and immediately adds him as a part time adoptee Jay so generously takes in. Jay doesn't even care when he finds out Billy is Shazam. He's on a team with a reverse engineered Superman and a sword welding Amazon warrior. A kid with god-like powers isn't really fazing him all that much.


Tags
2 years ago
leloudlizbirb - Liz/Featherbird
It’s Good To Know That She’s At Least Not Homophobic I Suppose Lmao
It’s Good To Know That She’s At Least Not Homophobic I Suppose Lmao

It’s good to know that she’s at least not homophobic I suppose lmao

6 months ago

I'm Still Standing

The League felt like they had a strong sense of Phantom’s power. After all, they wouldn’t have asked him to join the team, otherwise. He’s strong, he can fly, and due to his supernatural nature, he’s amazing on recon and stealth missions. He’s also incredibly reliable, and smarter than most people give him credit for. He’s a natural hero, a more snarky Captain Marvel, some news outlets have been saying. Always saving people with just the right words to say, with a humble smile on his face. 

Phantom, with all of his power, seemed untouchable in every definition of the word. 

And then they got invaded by Darkseid. 

It wasn’t the first time Darkseid had invaded Earth, but it was the first time bringing armies so large, the first time he’s attacked all over the world to spread the League thin. It is single handedly the worst alien invasion Earth has ever had. 

Batman, bleeding out on the sidewalk, Wonder Woman knocked unconscious and restrained by a nearly egregious amount of henchmen, Superman, weak from the kryptonite Darkseid had shot him with. Thankfully it had missed all the important bits, but with that bullet inside of him, Superman was also down for the count, as well as dozens of other League members. 

If it hadn’t been for Phantom, they would have lost. 

Phantom, who’s never been seen without a smile on his face until now. Phantom, who’s never had so much as a scratch on him, until now. Phantom, who has only ever been known to be kind and compassionate, even to his villains, until now. 

Usually there’s this sort of warm, comforting feeling that radiates from Phantom. It feels like a nice breeze on a warm summer’s day, a nice cup of hot cocoa, your favorite song. It’s a feeling of safety, as if everything will be alright just because he’s there. 

Here, though, something else, something much stronger, is radiating from him. It practically rolls off of him in huge waves, making those conscious around him more aggravated, more on edge.

Phantom pulls himself off of the ground. His suit is torn, and his green blood splattered on himself and the ground. He spits a glob of it out, along with a tooth. 

“Still, you stand,” Darkseid says, as if tired. “Do you not tire in the face of your own demise?”

“As long as I’m still standing, you won’t ever win,” Phantom says. His voice is low and threatening, reverberating eerily off of the broken infrastructure that surrounds them. It sends a chill down everybody’s spines, though if Darkseid is affected, he doesn’t show it. 

“Your comrades have fallen, your militaries have failed, and you have no other help arriving. Pray tell how one singular human will be able to take me down!” 

Phantom doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he walks forward so that his friends are behind him, and braces himself. Darkseid, unable to contain his own hubris, lets Phantom come closer. 

Phantom takes in a deep breath, as if he’s about to speak.  

Instead he wails. 

Any remaining glass shatters, raining down upon them as green sound waves push back the offending forces. 

And it’s loud, of course. The ears of Darkseid’s minions are bleeding, and many of them are either dying because it’s too much for them to bear, or they’re killing themselves to give themselves some modicum of relief. But it’s also more than that, more than noise. 

It’s mourning. 

The first feeling that overwhelms everyone is anger. Phantom’s anger at Darkseid, at the destruction, at the fact that he just can’t catch a fucking break and it’s not fair. The second, is the sadness. It weighs down upon their shoulders, suffocating them like smog. It invades every part of their being-their lungs, their joints, their very hearts-and it presses and presses and presses until there’s very nearly nothing left. 

Phantom still pushes on. He is nothing if not persistent, driven to fight, driven to protect his people, his team, his friends, his family. No mortal being could ever hope to have a lung capacity like this, but Phantom is no normal mortal, and Darkseid is finally starting to come to terms with that. 

The last wave of overwhelming emotion is more of an idea than it is an actual feeling. It’s not a threat, per se, but a promise. A promise to do everything in his power to destroy Darkseid and his forces permanently and with prejudice. A promise that no matter how hard Darkseid fights, he will not win. 

A promise that, if knocked down, Phantom will stand back up, and he will not lose. 

Eventually, after what feels like eternity, the wail dies down. There isn’t a single member of Darkseid’s army that’s still on their feet or in the air. Phantom collapses down to one knee, and bright, white rings flicker around his person for just a moment, before he wills them away and stands back up. 

It’s less walking towards Darkseid, and more stalking. They are not on equal footing. Phantom is the predator in every sense of the word, his anger and grief still radiating off of his body in ways that Darkseid is unable to comprehend. 

“Do you yield?” Phantom asks. His eyes are blazing green, burning into Darkseid’s very soul. It is a sort of animalistic, primal instinct deep within him that tells him, run, run as fast as you can. Darkseid’s hubris, however, remains unmatched. 

Even as he stares Death in the eye. 

“I do not,” Darkseid says. He tries to get to his feet, but his body won’t listen, still weighed down by the effects of Phantom’s wail. 

“Then as Phantom, King of the Dead, I hereby condemn you for the rest of your afterlife.”

“Don’t count your eggs yet, boy,” Darkseid spits. “I’m still alive.”

“No,” Phantom says, in a tone adjacent to someone who’s giving their condolences, “You’re not.”

Phantom gestures beside them, and Darkseid spares a glance and sees…Himself. 

His corpse is splayed on the ground, blood spurting out of his ears, nose, and eyes. He stares lifelessly up at the sky. The blood is still leaking down the sides of his face. 

“You’re dead now, Darkseid, and therefore under my jurisdiction. Due to your extensive list of crimes you will not receive a hearing, just your eternal damnation for the sins you’ve committed.”

Phantom waves his hand, and green chains and manacles appear on Darkseid’s wrists and ankles before he’s dusted out of existence, sent to his eternal punishment in another dimension. 

As soon as he’s gone, Phantom collapses to his knees. 

He’s not sure how long he’s there, sitting in the blood of those he’s killed, before Wonder Woman comes over. She’s covered in gashes and bruises and blood that isn’t hers, but she still stands tall and proud. A battle won is a reason for celebration, after all. 

He glances behind her, sees Superman taking Batman into his arms and flying off. 

Diana doesn’t ask him questions about how he’s feeling. A victory is a victory, sure, but not without its price. 

Instead, she holds out her hand. Danny grasps it, and allows her to help him to his feet. 

“As long as you can stand, you can win,” Diana says. “I think I’ll have to use that for my next big speech.”

“By all means,” Phantom tells her. “Just be sure to credit me.”

“Deal.”


Tags
4 months ago

HC that Lois Lane is like the one aunt who gets you out of trouble just as much as she gets you into trouble.

She's the kind of person to bail her gaggle of children and idiots out of jail that knows her by name.

Just a thought


Tags
1 year ago

Hey. I wrote a fanfic on ao3. Go check it out.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51331123/chapters/129702514


Tags
Loading...
End of content
No more pages to load
  • hypnos-is-my-father
    hypnos-is-my-father liked this · 1 week ago
  • organist-der-traumorgel
    organist-der-traumorgel reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • helenorvana
    helenorvana liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • krose366
    krose366 liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • almostgenerouscollector
    almostgenerouscollector liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • starlightreindeer
    starlightreindeer reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • baby-its-freezing-outside
    baby-its-freezing-outside reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • noxhominis
    noxhominis liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • lunakr124
    lunakr124 liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • newmilkmoon
    newmilkmoon liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • mylordmistersandman
    mylordmistersandman reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • eylittlered
    eylittlered reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • eylittlered
    eylittlered liked this · 1 month ago
  • againtodreaming
    againtodreaming reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • dreaming-in-circles
    dreaming-in-circles reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • best-pasta-noodles
    best-pasta-noodles liked this · 1 month ago
  • da-rat-zone
    da-rat-zone liked this · 2 months ago
  • lupawolfe76
    lupawolfe76 reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • ribbitty-rabbit
    ribbitty-rabbit reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • anakalos
    anakalos reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • purpledeathplague
    purpledeathplague liked this · 2 months ago
  • the-dino
    the-dino liked this · 2 months ago
  • angstyboiiiiii
    angstyboiiiiii reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • angstyboiiiiii
    angstyboiiiiii liked this · 2 months ago
  • bird599
    bird599 reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • rekuckuruc
    rekuckuruc reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • rekuckuruc
    rekuckuruc liked this · 3 months ago
  • 85-legion-blog
    85-legion-blog reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • 85-legion-blog
    85-legion-blog liked this · 3 months ago
  • beijingnoodle
    beijingnoodle reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • beijingnoodle
    beijingnoodle liked this · 3 months ago
  • ivealwayswantedtomeetrobinhood
    ivealwayswantedtomeetrobinhood reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • thornendless2498
    thornendless2498 reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • mellowunknownsoul
    mellowunknownsoul liked this · 3 months ago
  • peracelsius
    peracelsius liked this · 3 months ago
  • pebble-the-ghost
    pebble-the-ghost liked this · 3 months ago
  • cyanide-muffins
    cyanide-muffins reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • cyanide-muffins
    cyanide-muffins liked this · 3 months ago
  • leksatargaryen
    leksatargaryen reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • little-lucky-angel
    little-lucky-angel reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • conversationaltreestump
    conversationaltreestump reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • cutespiderlucas
    cutespiderlucas reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • cutespiderlucas
    cutespiderlucas liked this · 3 months ago
  • asphodel-rain
    asphodel-rain reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • alecimnotyourbitchlightwood
    alecimnotyourbitchlightwood reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • wiseandverygaywizard
    wiseandverygaywizard liked this · 4 months ago
leloudlizbirb - Liz/Featherbird
Liz/Featherbird

My minidoodles are better than my actual drawings.

59 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags