You're Laughing. Charles Dickens Had A Son Named Plorn And You're Laughing

Hey did you know I keep a google drive folder with linguistics and language books  that I try to update regularly 

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Source: beth_thefirstyear on Instagram

I have four muffin tips for making bakery style muffins at home.

Tip number one:

Rest your batter for 15 minutes in your mixing bowl after you make it. This is gonna allow the starch molecules to swell and absorb, creating the thicker batter and the thicker batter is known for doming!

Tip number two:

Fill your muffin holes with at least six to eight tablespoons of batter. That’s like a heaping half cup okay. You want them super full so they’re gonna create that dome.

Tip number three:

Kinda goes along with tip number two. You’re only gonna fill every other hole in your muffin pan. And why we do that - that’s so the muffins that are baking can spread and dome without running into their neighbors. Because when they run into their neighbors they get like square edges but we want perfect dome circles.

Tip number four:

You’re to bake your muffins at a high temperature initially. That’s gonna be 425*F for the first seven minutes. And then keep them in the oven and lower the temperature to 350*F for the remaining bake time. Starting the muffins off at a high temperature initially allows the muffins to rise rapidly and it sets the outer surface of the muffin, producing a dome shape.

There you have it. My four muffin tips for creating bakery style muffins.

So, You Wanna Study Irish Mythology?

One of the questions I get hit with a lot is “If I’m getting into Irish Mythology, what sources do you recommend?” It’s a sad, sad truth about the field that a lot of really valuable info is kept locked away in books and journals that the lay person wouldn’t know about (and then we wonder why information about the field is so bad.) So, I decided to compile a list of sources that I’ve personally used and found helpful in my time. It’s not a complete bibliography because, frankly, that would take up a TREMENDOUS amount of space and you’d be scrolling forever to find what you wanted, and I don’t AGREE with every single thing they say, and it’s by no means exhaustive (keep in mind: scholars from all over the field use mythological texts to study things as diverse as law, geography, tribal names, material culture, etc. and here I’m mainly focusing on sources that are JUST mythological-focused) but they’re a good starting point to forming your own opinions. The journal articles are, tragically, generally kept confined to academia, but….perhaps….if you were to ask around, someone might be able to provide you with a copy. As a whole, Celticists tend to be quite generous when it comes to sharing articles. 

List subject to change, check back as time goes on to see if I’ve added anything. Also, as always, feel free to either drop me an ask or a pm if you’re curious about digging further into a given text/figure. I can’t act as a consultant on a religious question; I’m a very firm atheist with all the spirituality of a dull spoon, except with the existence of ghosts. My interest in the Tuatha Dé is purely scholarly; all that I can say is what I know about these topics from the perspective of the medieval sources, but I can definitely do my best on that one front, and I won’t reject anyone who has a different interest in the Tuatha Dé from contacting me. 

This list only deals with the Mythological Cycle, not the other strands of the literary tradition that is generally if not uncontroversially referred to as “Irish Mythology”. For Fenian Cycle traditions, a similar bibliography has been compiled by Dr. Natasha Sumner of Harvard, here. 

Editions/Translations of Texts (many of these are available at UCC’s CELT archive or on Irish Sagas Online): 

Tochmarc Étaíne, Osborn Bergin and Richard Best 

Cath Maige Tuired, Elizabeth Gray (If you can and you’re serious about the field, I highly recommend getting the actual Irish Text Society Edition, which includes a wonderful index of every time a given figure shows up in other sources. An absolute must for a mythographer.) 

Lebor Gabála Érenn, J.R.S Macalister, 5 vols. (The entirety of this is available on archive.org. Personally…while the rest of it is obviously important and worthy of study, if you’re interested in just the mythological stuff, I recommend Volume IV, which includes both the Fir Bolg and the Tuatha Dé. Unless you really, really want to read five volumes of medieval Irish pseudohistory, the last volume of which was finished posthumously.) i ii iii iv v

The Metrical Dinshenchas, Edward Gwynn. (5 vols.) (These are difficult, with many scholars outright ignoring them except when absolutely necessary. These are in a later form of Irish, which means that, while some of the contents in them could very well be Pre-Christian in nature, they very much do reflect a later medieval world. Some of them are just as much about contemporary politics as they are about mythology, and many of them also bring in content from the Ulster Cycle and the Fenian Cycle. My personal favorites to look up are Tailtiu, Carn Hui Néit, Duirgen, and Carmun, though there are MANY others.) i ii iii iv v

“The First Battle of Moytura”, John Fraser (Note: It’s a VERY late text, with the question of the Fir Bolg/Tuatha Dé battle and how far the tradition really goes back being one that’s very important to keep in mind. It’s a personal favorite of mine. But it’s very late.)

Baile in Scáil, Kevin Murray (Thurneyson also did an older edition that’s more readily accessible, hence why I linked it here, but Murray is the most recent and up to date.) 

“How the Dagda got his magic staff”, Osborn Bergin 

Oidheadh Chloinne Tuireann, Richard Duffy (This is an Early Modern Irish text, so it was written down comparatively late. That doesn’t mean that there’s NO mythological content here, it’s a personal favorite of mine, but it means that it very much reflects the cultural context of around….the 15th-17th century or thereabouts. It’s very chaotic, very violent, and the heroic figures are….not….heroic.) 

Scél Tuáin Meic Chairill, John Carey

Echtra Nerai, it’s available in a fairly recent translation by John Carey in Celtic Heroic Age (pub. 2003) , listed below, though Kuno Meyer also did an edition/translation for it that I’ve linked to here. 

Books: 

Proinsias Mac Cana, Celtic Mythology (Personally, I’d recommend this one first - It’s designed for someone who isn’t a specialist and, while a lot of what he’s saying has been disputed back and forth, it’s still a handy primer and will get you into the myths.)

John Koch and John Carey, The Celtic Heroic Age (Once you have an idea of what you’re looking at, I recommend this one, since it’s a sourcebook. A TON of material from across the Celtic world, featuring classical sources, medieval Irish sources, and Welsh, all of it in one place.) 

Mark Williams, Ireland’s Immortals (I personally recommend you read this one after you read CHA, giving you a bit of context for what Williams is saying here.)

O’Rahilly, Early Irish History and Mythology (note: A lot of what he says here is no longer considered recent in the field, but his knowledge of his own sources is, frankly, without any other peer. Use with a grain of salt)

John Carey, The Mythological Cycle of Medieval Irish Literature

Kim McCone, Pagan Past, Christian Present

Koch, Celtic Culture: A Historical Encyclopedia

Articles: 

John Carey, “Myth and Mythography in ‘Cath Magh Tuired’”

John Carey, “Donn, Amairgen, Ith and the Prehistory of Irish Pseudohistory”

Proinsias Mac Cana, “Aspects of the theme of King and Goddess in Irish Literature” 

Máire Herbert, “Goddess and king: the sacred marriage in early Ireland.”

Gregory Toner, “Macha and the invention of myth” 

Elizabeth A. Gray, “Cath Maige Tuired: myth and structure“

Thomas Charles-Edwards, “Tochmarc Étaíne: a literal interpretation”

Tómas O’Cathasaigh, “Cath Maige Tuired as Exemplary Myth” 

Joseph Nagy, “Close encounters of the traditional kind in medieval Irish literature” 

Mark Scowcroft, “Leabhar Gabhála. Part I: the growth of the text” 

Mark Scowcroft, “Leabhar Gabhála. Part II: the growth of the tradition”  

Joseph Nagy, “‘Talking myth’ in medieval Irish literature.”

John Carey, “The Location of the Otherworld in Irish Tradition” 

Máire Bhreathnach, “The sovereignty goddess as goddess of death?“

John Carey, “Notes on the Irish war-goddess.” 

Veronica Philipps, “Exile and authority in Lebor gabála Érenn” 

Kevin Murray, “Sources of Irish mythology. The significance of the dinnṡenchas” 

Short stories that live in my head rent free and make me go a little crazy:

The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman (horror)

Lamb to The Slaughter by Roald Dahl (horror)

We Ate The Children Last by Yann Martel (satire/horror)

The Empty Prison by Matt Dymerski (horror)

The October Game by Ray Bradbury (horror)

I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream by Harlan Ellison (horror/sci-fi)

A Good Man Is Hard To Find by Flannery O'Connor (horror)

The Last Question by Isaac Asimov (sci-fi)

>First, we’ve discovered that about a quarter of all the internet connection in or out of the house were ad related. In a few hours, that’s about 10,000 out of 40,000 processed.

>We also discovered that every link on Twitter was blocked. This was solved by whitelisting the https://t.co domain.

>Once out browsing the Web, everything is loading pretty much instantly. It turns out most of that Page Loading malarkey we’ve been accustomed to is related to sites running auctions to sell Ad space to show you before the page loads. All gone now.

>We then found that the Samsung TV (which I really like) is very fond of yapping all about itself to Samsung HQ. All stopped now. No sign of any breakages in its function, so I’m happy enough with that.

>The primary source of distress came from the habitual Lemmings player in the house, who found they could no longer watch ads to build up their in-app gold. A workaround is being considered for this.

>The next ambition is to advance the Ad blocking so that it seamlessly removed YouTube Ads. This is the subject of ongoing research, and tinkering continues. All in all, a very successful experiment.

>Certainly this exceeds my equivalent childhood project of disassembling and assembling our rotary dial telephone. A project whose only utility was finding out how to make the phone ring when nobody was calling.

>Update: All4 on the telly appears not to have any ads any more. Goodbye Arnold Clarke!

>Lemmings problem now solved.

>Can confirm, after small tests, that RTÉ Player ads are now gone and the player on the phone is now just delivering swift, ad free streams at first click.

>Some queries along the lines of “Are you not stealing the internet?” Firstly, this is my network, so I may set it up as I please (or, you know, my son can do it and I can give him a stupid thumbs up in response). But there is a wider question, based on the ads=internet model.

>I’m afraid I passed the You Wouldn’t Download A Car point back when I first installed ad-blocking plug-ins on a browser. But consider my chatty TV. Individual consumer choice is not the method of addressing pervasive commercial surveillance.

>Should I feel morally obliged not to mute the TV when the ads come on? No, this is a standing tension- a clash of interests. But I think my interest in my family not being under intrusive or covert surveillance at home is superior to the ad company’s wish to profile them.

>Aside: 24 hours of Pi Hole stats suggests that Samsung TVs are very chatty. 14,170 chats a day.

>YouTube blocking seems difficult, as the ads usually come from the same domain as the videos. Haven’t tried it, but all of the content can also be delivered from a no-cookies version of the YouTube domain, which doesn’t have the ads. I have asked my son to poke at that idea.

So uh….some dude apparently recreated Adobe Photoshop feature-for-feature, for FREE, and it runs in your browser.

Anyway, fuck Adobe, and enjoy!

If there was a way to run SUPER MEGA AD BLOCKER on this website I fucking would

@Fanfic writers:

My friend send me this link, is a series on a profile on Ao3 (tumblr) that has different tutorials to insert things to fanfics via html code, I thought I would share bc it’s really cool

Lists of tutorials:

How to make images fit in mobile browsers

This is a tutorial/live example on how to make large images fit on mobile browsers but remain normal size on desktop browsers.

How to mimic letters, fliers, and stationery without using images

This is a tutorial/live example on how to mimic the look of letters, fliers, and stationery (as well as other forms of written media) without using images. For all your epistolary fic needs.

How to make a “choose your own adventure” Fic

This is a tutorial/live example on how to create a "Choose Your Own Adventure" fic. While this has been explained before (see here), this particular tutorial shows you how to use a work skin to hide the next parts from the reader until they click through to get to them.

How to make linked footnotes on Ao3

This is a live example of how an author can create linked footnotes in their work with only a little bit of HTML and no workskins required. This is best viewed by clicking "Entire Work". While I've included the actual coding in bold and italic once you click "Hide Creator's Style", there's a more detailed explanation here.

How to change text on Ao3 when the cursor is hovering over it (or clicked on mobile)

This a tutorial/live example on how to have text change or appear once a cursor is hovering over it. Helpful for pop-up spoilers, language translations, quick author's notes, etc.

How to mimic author’s notes and Kudos/Comment buttons

Anonymous on tumblr: do you have a skin that would mimic the author’s notes and review/kudos buttons section from the end of a fic? the desired effect being that the fic could go on after the “end” of the fic, so after the author’s notes and review/kudos buttons

Here's a tutorial/live example to do just that, with some of the buttons actually functioning. I'll explain more inside!

How to wrap text around images

This is a tutorial/live example on how to align images to the left or right of the screen and have text wrap around them.

How to mimic email windows

This is a tutorial/live example on how to mimic email windows on AO3 without the need to use images.

How to make ios text messages on Ao3

This is a tutorial/live example on how to mimic iOS text messages on AO3 without the need to use images. There's also a chapter on how to have emojis displayed on AO3 as well.

How to make Customized page deviders

Bored with the default page dividers? This is a tutorial/live example on how customize your page dividers with no images needed (though I do show you how you could use images if you wanted to do such a thing).

How to make invisible text (That can be highlighted)

This is a live example how to make invisible text that can only be seen by highlighting the text. Tutorial is included in text, and you can always leave comments about questions you may have.

MOBILE USERS: Sadly, this probably won't work for you, since highlighting in a mobile browser is different than web. I've tried correcting this, but have yet to find a solution.

How to make a rounded playlist

Original coding and design is from layouttest. I make no claims for it, just tweaked it so it will work on AO3.

How to create notebook lined paper on Ao3

This is a live example of my AO3 skin that allows the author to recreate the look of lined notebook paper in their work. To learn more about it, you can find the tutorial here.

Sticky notes on Ao3 without using images

This is a live example of my AO3 skin that allows the author to recreate the look of sticky notes (aka Post-Its) in their fic. To learn more about it, you can find the tutorial here.

How to make deadpool’s thinking thinking boxes on Ao3

This is a live example of my AO3 skin that allows the author to recreate the look of Deadpool's thinking boxes in their fic. To learn more about it, you can find the tutorial here.

How to make newspaper articles on Ao3

This is a live example of my AO3 skin that allows the author to recreate the look of a newspaper article in their work. To learn more about it, you can find the tutorial here.

150 Random Writing Prompts

There’s some fluff, some smut, some angst, and some funny prompts all mashed up from a bunch of prompt lists I’ve found. Absolutely none of these prompts came from me, I just threw a bunch of ones I liked together. 

“Come over here and make me.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“I almost lost you.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Don’t you ever do that again!”

“Kiss me.”

“It could be worse.”

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”

“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

“Just once.”

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

“If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”

“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

“Wanna dance?”

“You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

“You did all of this for me?”

“I swear it was an accident.”

“YOU DID WHAT?!”

“If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”

“I fucking hate you”

“He’s dead, again.”

“It’s hard to get used to…” “what is?” “Being someone that someone cares for…”

“The first time you smiled it felt like the universe aligned.”

“It hurts…” “what?” “Loving someone who doesn’t love you…”

“Let me do this, please.”

you’re not as funny as you think you are

i’m just getting comfy

just because you can doesn’t mean you should

how don’t you know the difference between your left and right?

thank you for being in my life

text me when you’re home

you are such a nerd

why are you so cold?

stop laughing at me

you were put on this earth to give me a headache

you’re ticklish

can we go home yet?

you are a terrible influence

one of us is clearly smarter than the other

you need some sleep

how have you survived this long by yourself?

are you just quoting song lyrics?

i’m only here for the dog

sleep is for the weak

that was you?

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“What? I have never-”

“I do not have an answer for you.”

“In my defense, I really wanted to.”

“At least I didn’t break any laws.”

“What did you do this time?”

“How do we get out?”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Just marry me already.”

“Did I stutter?”

“Did I just say that out loud?”

“H-How long have you been standing there?”

“I’ve never felt this way before and I’m terrified to be honest.”

“Is that what you call an apology?”

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“Somebody’s in love!”

“Can I hold your hand?”

“There is no way this much stupid can fit inside one person.”

“I’m never leaving…I promise.”

“Uh, am I interrupting?”

“I like you, like like you like you.”

“Be my Valentine?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“God, I love you.”

“You’re so fucking cute.”

“Stop being a fucking prick.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“You’re my everything.”

“I love seeing you smile.”

“i’ve been thinking about you all day.”

“ i can’t get enough of you.”

“i like being close to you. you’re warm.”

“i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know.”

“is this okay?”

“this is a one time thing.”

“you know where to find me.”

“you’re really good at that.”

“here’s my hotel room number.”

“don’t be shy now, sit on my face.”

“Wanna join?”

“Stop doing that”

“YOU SENT ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED WHILE I WAS IN A WORK MEETING!”

“If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people, will you do it?”

“Don’t go on that date.” “Why?” “You know why.” “Say it.”

“ i think i might be in some kind of love with you.”

“say you want me, and i’m yours.”

“you need a place to stay for the night”

“i want to taste you”

“i love it when you talk dirty

“if you interrupt me one more time— so help me god”

“if we weren’t in public right now i’d have my head between your legs”

“i don’t know what to do” “then let me teach you”

“i forgot my towel”

“this feels dirty” “that’s because it is”

“don’t cover you’re face, i want to see you”

“are you sure about this?”

“ive never wanted to fuck someone as badly as i want to fuck you rn”

“do you want help with that?”

“im going to fuck you until you forget that assholes name”

“bend over the desk love”

“is that my shirt?”

“my mother adores you.”

“is that a drawing of me?”

“i didn’t mean to say that but yeah, i love you.”

“i’ve never seen anyone look so cute and ridiculous at the same time.”

“stop looking at me like that!”

“i didn’t know you could sing.”

“you weren’t supposed to hear that!”

“you wrote me a song?”

“i’m not scared but if you are, you can hold my hand.”

“this isn’t adrenaline, i want to spend my life with you.”

“do you think of me when you touch yourself?”

“Take my jacket, it’s cold”

“My friends get annoyed by how much I talk about you sometimes”

“I’m not going anywhere”

“fuck you.” - “when?”

“no one’s ever made me feel like this.”

“here, let me help you.”

“we’re quite literally fugitives of the state.” - “so no pizza?”

“you’re insane.” - “people keep telling me that.”

“you’re pretty.” - “you’re drunk.”

“i told you i’d come home to you.”

“i’ll keep you safe.”

“i’ll spend a thousand lifetimes coming back to you.”

“i didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much.”

“please never stop smiling.”

“Touch yourself for me.”

“Shut up and take your pants off.”

“Wanna see what I’m wearing underneath all this?”

“Do you know how beautiful you are? It’s truly distracting.”

“How are you this perfect?”

“I’ve waited so long for this.”

“Would you just shut up and kiss me already?”

“Tell me what you want.”

“Could he make you feel as good as i do?”

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you really just that oblivious?”

“Just let me finish this/this level and I swear ill go down on you until you cum at least three times.”

“I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet.”

“Were you just masturbating?” “U-uh..no, I was just..” “Want some help?”

“Tell me again.”

“I really want to kiss you right now.” “Then do it.”

“I don’t care what you do just fuck me.”

“Stop distracting me.”