This Need, Nobody Knows It, This Longing Doesn't Go Away

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“I’m not afraid of dying. Pieces of me die all the time.”

— Sage Francis

“I loved you before I was born. It doesn’t make sense, I know. I saw your eyes before I had eyes to see. And I’ve lived longing for your every look ever since. That longing entered time as this body. And the longing grew as this body waxed. And the longing grows as this body wanes. That longing will outlive this body. I loved you before I was born. It makes no sense, I know. Long before eternity, I caught a glimpse of your neck and shoulders, your ankles and toes. And I’ve been lonely for you from that instant. That loneliness appeared on earth as this body. And my share of time has been nothing but your name outrunning my ever saying it clearly. Your face fleeing my ever kissing it firmly once on the mouth. In longing, I am most myself, rapt, my lamp mortal, my light hidden and singing. I give you my blank heart. Please write on it what you wish.”

— Li-Young Lee, from The Undressing: Poems; “I loved you before I was born”

In madness and in magnetic beauty, in glory and in melancholy.

I wish

I wish I wrote the way I thought; Obsessively, Incessantly, With maddening hunger. I’d write to the point of suffocation. I’d write myself into nervouse breakdowns, Manuscripts spiralling out like tentacles into abysmal nothing. And I’d write about you a lot more than I should.

Benedict Smith; “I Wish I Wrote the Way I Thought”

“I won’t kiss you. It might get to be a habit and I can’t get rid of habits.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

My art is for myself first, it's a vortex of my complex emotions. I channel my inner thoughts and feelings into it. I try not to let them dominate or paralyze me, instead use them to create something meaningful. So when you see a quote or picture by me, know that it comes from a very vulnerable place but when it goes out it makes me stronger. My art is for you and for all, but first, it's for me.

- Anneshwa

Make 2021 the year where you save yourself.

You need to make yourself a priority. you should care about others but you don't need to risk your sanity for that.

You need to be away from people who expect but don't care about your expectations and needs.

Make 2021 about you, and I don't wanna sound selfish but you can't really honestly care about anyone if cannot keep yourself sane and alive.

Question everything, talk, communicate, and see if there's any reciprocation.

Have compassion for others, but first for yourself.

Living with yourself, knowing yourself, accepting your flaws will bring you closer to yourself, no kidding that shit is hard, omg so hard.

But you gotta LIVE for YOURSELF.

LIFE IS SUPER SHORT.

people are dying, people are dying without getting to do their favourite thing, without saying goodbye, without even checking the boxes in their bucket list.

So please talk, learn, communicate, live, love.

Today i am a bit closer to myself,

i save myself everyday and for that i am proud.

I keep forgetting myself,

I keep forgetting my being,

my existence.

I keep forgetting my purpose,

I lose touch.

My body and soul disconnect,

I break myself over and over.

Everytime I feel this way,

I know it's time for a new chapter,

A new beginning,

A new voyage.

A journey to a new me.

-Anneshwa

Being touristy in your own city is a different kind of happiness.

light at the end of the tunnel.

Maybe