YOU'RE A SPOILED ENTITLED BUNCH OF TWATS DRESSED IN PUFFY BLUE NIGHTIES KILL ME KILL US ALL OUR SPIRIT

sometimes it seems to me that this meme does not lose its relevance

If you have written bad fanfiction clap your hands

Aziraphale lied Theory

First of all, this theory is not mine, its from @/doubleskk on Twitter and can be found HERE. Go show them some love! It's in Portuguese, so I'll do my best to translate it - blue texts are my personal additions!

This season, we have something very clear in Aziraphale's development arc: is his relationship with LIE. He lied to protect Job's children, and he lied he had performed a miracle to make Nina and Maggie fall in love. That's not counting other little lies, sprinkled throughout the season here and there.

We keep seeing Crowley say "I'm a demon, I lie", but in the big finale, we have Crowley saying the truth - the big truth, the one he has been avoiding for 6 thousand years.

All of this was to set the stage for the biggest lie of all: the lie he had to tell Crowley to fend him off and protect him.

When Metatron goes to buy the coffee, he asks Nina if people ask for death, as the name of her shop is "Give me a coffee, or give me death". What if that name is an allegory for the actual conversation between Metatron and Aziraphale?

Aziraphale may have been threatened. Either Azira goes back to heaven (coffee), or he and Crowley would have their existence erased from the Book of Life (death). So, to protect Crowley, Aziraphale had to invent a lie to make sure he got away. The Book of Life was namedropped a couple of times in the show, a Chekhov's gun that never went off - Neil is too good of a writer for that.

And Aziraphale knew that Crowley would be pissed if he agreed to go back to Heaven after everything that happened, and he knew that Crowley would never accept being an angel again. "But rescuing me makes him so happy" - Aziraphale had to make sure Crowley wouldn't realize he needed saving.

That's why he knew exactly what to say to mess with Crowley.

At 41:14 of episode 6, when Azira starts telling the (alleged) lie to Crowley, he becomes all flustered, moving his hands from side to side and stammering, SAME PATTERN as when he lies to the angels about having done the Nina and Maggie fall in love, in episode 2.

[This part really works better with 2 videos side by side, which you cannot do on tumblr, so if you want you can check them out here]

The sequence of him talking to Metatron at the table is nothing more than an enactment of his lie. The conversation didn't go like that, Aziraphale made everything up.

And when Crowley declares himself, Aziraphale starts shaking his head in despair: not now, don't tell me that now.

He also looks out the window as soon as the confession starts, as if he knows Metraton was watching him outside.

Then there's the kiss, Aziraphale falters for a moment, but he has to keep up with the lie and he knows he has to hurt Crowley on purpose. And after Crowley leaves, Aziraphale is MUST recover in seconds, because Metatron is coming back. Also notice that when Metatron comes back, he doesn't ask if Crowley agreed to go back to heaven or not. He just sends a "How did he take it?"

That is, there was never any choice, and for Metatron Aziraphale was only going to break the news that he was leaving. And Aziraphale had to invent a lie to the inmates to make sure Crowley stayed away from him.

I relate to the character🚫

I relate to thr hc I made about the character that are probably true but are never specified in the show✔️

still thinking about hugo and varian meeting a few years earlier.

like, maybe hugo ran away from donella, maybe he just decided to go off on his own for a little bit and she let him

but somehow he ends up in old corona right after the water tanks explode. comes across varian cleaning it up and thinks ‘hey here’s a sucker who might have some spare coin to steal from.’

tries to start up conversation

Hugo: oh man, must suck to be the guy who caused this mess.

Varian: …you’re looking at him. and yeah. it does.

and hugo is instantly intrigued bc hey? this kid did all this? he’s impressed, even if it did blow up, the technology in the bits that remain seems so detailed. they talk as hugo get roped into helping him, and the guy is just so animated and nerdy and outgoing.

eventually night falls and hugo is like ‘shit i have to get to an inn or a barn or something.’ and varian realizes that he’s a traveler

he excitedly grabs his arm and just drags him back to his place

Varian: DAD! Dad can my new friend stay here, his name is hugo and he helped me clean up!

bc varian just thinks everyone is his friend at that point in his life. hugo gets to stay, quirin is pleased that varian found someone to talk to, and hugo is slowly falling more and more for this awkward lil guy

when the Bad Shit goes down, he’s there by his side, and probably makes things worse tbh bc he tells varian that he came from a place where people were treated like trash, thought he could escape it, but all kingdoms are the same and he doesn’t want what happened to him to happen to Varian

promises that no matter what varian does, he’s going to help him fix this. they’re going to stick together through thick and thin

and then oop attempted regicide

ANGEL WITH A SHOT GUN

about to commit high treason (again) 😊🤍

your #3 for me lolz

Do you know why you’re #1 on trending???

I don't. Am I?

who knew chairs w the names of two homos can make a girl so happy

ok so disney is making a tangled live action and its terrible and i hate it and do not support it BUT HEAR ME OUT

tangled revival=tangled the series revival=more people find out about vat7k=MORE PEOPLE WRITE FICS AND OUR AO3 FANDOM GETS CONTENT

so there’s the one singular bright side to this

i just adore him