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potential breakup song by aly and aj > every single song the beatles have ever produced

Me: I just sometimes get so stressed that I just want to screech

My Therapist: Then do it.

Me: I’m sorry?

My Therapist: Primal screeching is one way of completing your stress cycle, do it. Be mindful of where you are, I usually do it in my car, but yeah. Go for it.

Me: Ah- Oh.

My Therapist: Holding that kind of thing in is what’s locking you into that stress state. Screeching, running, dancing, that tells your body they the danger has passed and you’ll relax. Since you have a lifetime of that shit locked away, it’ll take a sec but yeah. Screech if you want to.

me after eating a large meal: i am never eating again !!

me thirty minutes later:

do . do y ou mean. this toad

and, this possum

because this whole thing got wildly out of hand and if thats not what you meant i dont kno w what to tell you because

PLACE YOUR BETS

THE MOST PURE!!!

my professor who’s approximately as intimidating as a muffin keeps saying stuff like this and its so silly 

I miss sleeping next to someone

we have developed people

when you tell a joke and nobody laughs