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2016 election

News anchor: The new president has been elected.

The entire US population: *sweats in anticipation*

News anchor: and HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

It has happened.

This is exactly how writing every single one of my papers in college went down.

when someone disturbs me while i’m eating

time to put up my halloween decorations *glues your selfies all over my house*

"i can’t figure out this problem"

teacher: use your head

can’t believe ‘coco from foster’s home for imaginary friends was born from a starving child’s dying dream as they spiraled into desperate insanity after getting stranded on an island’ isn’t an edgy theory but something the creator just casually brought up on his deviantart