Like-luke-likes - Like-Luke-Likes

me: i’m not clingy me ten minutes later:

things i say that confuse and worry my coworkers:

“happy birthday” every time i hand them something

“well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong

“we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced

“can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing

referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”

“time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages

referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”

“what are they gonna do, fire me?”

this is stomp dog it shows up to stomp away sadness

why does bart do that voice in this moment and why have i been laughing about it for five fucking hours

I’m glad that people are finally recognizing Shaggy’s incomprehensible power and all, but it hurts my heart to see all these memes of stuff like “Shaggy tears people’s souls out for amusement” and “No one survived the Scooby Doo Movie filming” because that’s not who Shaggy is! Shaggy’s a good dude!  He just wants to chill and eat some good food with his pals!

Yes he could unravel this inconsequential plane of being with the ease of steamroller crushing an egg, but he wouldn’t because life is good!  

omg my mom just came into my room and told me that I’m spending too much time on the internet so she told me “I’m sorry I have to do this but its for your own good…” and then she proceeded to delete the internet explorer icon from my desk stop I’m laughing so hard I’m gonna piss myself omfg 

hot new thing: painting almost photorealistic pokemon into photographs

dont know what the painting part of this means but heres some normal photographs ive taken, with my camera

the other day I was taking a walk when I saw this old guy trapped under a cart. people were trying to help him but it was too heavy so I stepped forward and lifted it off him (I work out a lot.) then, this old police inspector told me I had to be a convict because of how strong I was. I looked him straight in the eye and said, “it’s 1815. anyone can be strong, including non felons, women, and gay people. the only person who’s weak here is you.” he started crying and gave me fifty crowns while everyone clapped, even the nuns

everything can be magical if you let it be. i remember the first time seeing red-winged blackbirds i was just…enthralled. i watched them for maybe an hour. i thought they made the sweetest noises and were just so pretty. and i found out later on that people consider them nuisances and pests. they’re literally common all over the united states but because they weren’t familiar to me they weren’t a burden or an annoyance but something beautiful. if we don’t let other people tell us how to feel about things, maybe we can just like things for what they are