It’s Really Frustrating How You Have To Wait Like, 2 Weeks Before You Can Drink Milk After You Buy

I JUST SWALLOWED THE WIRE FROM MY BRACE 

PLEASE HELP

nothing sexier than a girl whos just a little out of it. asked the girl serving me at mcdonald’s 2day where the straws are and she said “straws? why would we have hay here” really sexy of her 

If you’re awake between 3 AM and 6 AM you’re appropriating lycanthrope culture and you need to go to sleep and check your privilege

daily reminder to click a button so you can give free food to a shelter!!

Me: *sees my stuffed animal on the floor next to my bed*

Me: Why wasn't I a better parent

boys who can pull off facial hair are hot

You Aren’t Boring I Just Suck At Conversations I’m Sorry: a novel by me