So I'm Not But Three Pages Into 'The Girl And The Goddess' By Nikita Gill.

Okay so I just binged on kfc and a donut, it was 546 cals for the tenders and 300 cals for the donut. I’m literally so dead and want to kms. I purged it but still feel like absolute shit with a total of 1107 calories in total today.

I need to die, I am sick of this cycle.

So I got my period today and had a few bad food days but got a low weight of 73.80kg but gone back up into the 74s today, hopefully next weigh day I’ll be 73kg on the dot of close.

Does anyone else just scroll through food posts for hours on end?

Everyone needs to see this

1 hour workout update!!

Hi! Again with my updates, I complited my workout before the time was up! I also stuck to my calorie limit and I will maybe lose a pound so maybe I will be 45,9 kg! (I’m tooo lazy for math rn so look it up if you’re from US of UK or idk) And with my diet maybe just maybe I will be 45 kg or even 44 kg! (wich is my UGW) My legs are still sooo fat! I would’ve shown you a picture of them but I don’t have a phone .-. Also with new diet for a week I down graded my workout to 30 min or 45 min, because I have school and I can’t be so exausted I can’t stand on my own, wich happens after my workout.  .  .I will try to do it for an hour but no promises.  .  .OH! And for peeps who are curious what I do for my workout here it is, maybe it’s not so weird and exausting at first, but it helps.  .  .

Of course remember to stay safe xoxo! 🖤🖤🖤

problems of anas starting at an actual obese weight

-your lowest weight is other peoples highest.

-people never noticing that you don’t eat due to your weight.

-ACTUALLY being medically fat, not just feeling fat.

-having legitimate problems working out (knees can’t handle all the weight, asthma, etc)

-”you probably shouldn’t eat that, should you?” when taking your first bite of a remotely unhealthy food in MONTHS.

-losing over 70lbs and still not be close to ‘thin’.

-thinner anas looking down on you because you’re not skinny enough. (actually happened)

-thinner anas telling you to ‘stop starving yourself’ or ‘turn back before you get sick’ when you’ve actually been doing this longer than them.

-MORE SIDE EFFECTS!

-being petty and offended when people half your size call themselves fat in front of you, well knowing you weigh twice as much as them. (this is a personal problem but still)

-actually being happy to be at a NORMAL weight for once. 

-”MY BMI IS FINALLY UNDER 25!”

-lower chances of actually hitting your ugw because your body literally can’t lose more.

-LOOSE SKIN. L O T S OF IT. 

-knowing you’ve lost more than most of the fellow anas, but not being able to talk about it because your cw isn’t low enough just yet.

so shoutout to all the bigger people with anorexic tendencies, because they deserve way more. because they’ve gone through this pain for so long without enough recognition. because within the ana community, they’re often not even acknowledged. because THEY ARE VALID TOO. 

i started at over 250lbs and hit my first plateau at 149, so i do have a right to complain, thank you very much. (i’m just over 5′4. just imagine.)

21 days to lose 23lbs

now i don't know if this will work as i haven't ever tried it before (duh) but this is a reallyyyyy high restriction diet that i am hoping will get me to 110lbs (50kg) by christmas. it's a mix of some random diet plans i found and the theory that the abc diet is based on: 'alternating caloric intake'. weigh ins will be based on when i have psych appointments, and if im not getting the results i want i will lower calories for some days :) this will be the hardest thing i have ever done, but i HAVE to do it, i can't give up !!

5th: water fast

6th: 200

7th: water fast (weigh in)

8th: water fast

9th: 500

10th: 200

11th: 650

12th: water fast

13th: dry fast

14th: 200 (weigh in)

15th: 800

16th: water fast

17th: water fast

18th: 600

19th: 200

20th: 450

21st: dry fast

22nd: water fast

23rd: 400

24th: 1000

25th: 300 (weigh in)

if anyone has any ideas on changes i should make or if i should modify things at all PLEASE let me know :))

(i have never done a dry fast before and i have heard differing opinions on them so if anyone is a ~dry fast veterin~ gimme some hints ;D)

So I’m starting this tomorrow and ill keep you guys updated I have some pals doing it with me to keep me accountable! Progress will be under #hmloseastone on my page!!

Stay safe I love you!!

Lots hope I weigh less next Sunday, I binged yesterday and I only gained 500g despite eating like 2000 cals.