When I Was 13 Years Old And Curious About Sex And Love, I Asked My Mom If She Had Had Sex Before Marrying

When I was 13 years old and curious about sex and love, I asked my mom if she had had sex before marrying my father (of whom she is still married to, and has been since before I was born). She said that that wasn’t really a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I said ‘sure it is, you’ve either had sex before him, or you haven’t’. She brought me onto the couch and sat me down and told me about the boy she liked when she was young and how one night she snuck into his house while his parents were gone and they were kissing and he said they should have sex and she said that she wanted to save sex for marriage and he laughed and basically took all her clothes off and he raped her and as my mom was telling the story she cried and this was the second time I had ever seen my mom cry. She was 12 when it happened.

In grade 8 I got a call from my friend in the middle of the night and she was drunk in the park crying and told me that she went out that night with some other friends and they drank a little and her guy “friend” starting flirting and yes she laughed at first but then he tried to pull her shirt over her head and she pulled away and he ripped her shirt and it was her favourite shirt and then he pushed her to her knees and HIS BEST FRIEND HELD HER JAW OPEN WHILE HE FACE FUCKED HER. And so I went to the park and picked her up and took her home and slept in her bed with her except we didn’t sleep because she just cried and her mouth bled and this was four years ago but I still have to be the one to bring her items to the till it the cashier is a man, and she still has anxiety attacks and she’ll get a rash all over her body and I just want to kill those boys but instead they are still walking around. And I’m in the bathroom with her, dabbing at her skin with a warm cloth until it returns to its regular colour.

And in grade 9 one of my closest friends was kinda seeing this boy and so they hung out one night and then she said that she really had to be getting back home and he said that she wasn’t going anywhere until she gave him what he wanted and he parked the car and took off her clothes and she said no and he ignored her and so she laid in the backseat totally limp and just cried and it wasn’t even sex, he just masterbated by using her body instead of his hand and she came to school the next day with vodka in her water bottle and she drank all day and I had to fight her to get the alcohol away from her and she just cried and threw up and I skipped class while I held her hair back and that same boy texted me a month later, asking if I ever wanted to hangout sometime.

And in that same year my very best friend who has never even kissed a boy, confessed to me that when she was 9 years old, her 12 year old cousin made her give him a hand job and he told her that was what cousins do and he gave her a chocolate bar afterwards and she told me that he probably doesn’t even remember it but that it’s something that she’ll never have the luxury of forgetting.

And in grade 10 I knew a girl who invited her best friend over to watch Disney movies and then he started to put his hands down her pants and she said no but she is 130lbs and he is 220lbs and he called her a tease while she tried to fight him but he used one hand to hold her down, and the other to put inside of her and i was the one to push her inside of a classroom and stand in front of her while calling the police when he showed up at our school looking for her and she was so damn scared.

And a few months later I skipped class and was in the car with a guy who i had had unprotected sex with in the past while under the influence of cocaine but this time I was sober and I insisted we use a condom but he told me he couldn’t feel anything while the condom was on so he ripped it off and I said I refused to have unprotected sex again and so he just grabbed me and forced himself into my mouth and I was crying and he pulled me onto him and I just came saying “stop” over and over like a broken record but he must’ve heard something different because he went until he came and I just sat naked in the backseat while he drove me back to the school and said “we should do this again sometime”. And I had five showers that night and I scratched at my skin so hard to try and rip his fingerprints off of me, I still have the scars.

And I found out soon afterwards that that same guy had raped a classmate of mine, 5 months earlier and she told me about how he brought her McDonald’s first, and how he said they could take things slow and she told me about how he didn’t listen to her either. And he goes to our school and so after she told me about her incident and I told her about mine, we decided to report it to the police and the trial is currently still going on and he told people about it, except in his version we are just “asking for attention” and all his friends talk about how bad they feel for him. As if HE is the one that still wakes up screaming. As if HE felt like his skin no longer was beautiful, no longer belonged to him. And I held her in my arms as she bawled after giving the police her statement. And she did the same for me.

And I met a woman a year ago in a paint store and she had a service dog and I asked what the dog was for and it turns out that she had been so brutally raped and abused in her life, that the dog is literally trained to keep men away from her.

And I’m so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN. How many rape victims eyes have I already looked into? How many more will I? And how many more friends will I hold while they shake? Because I don’t know how many more I can take. And who the fuck still has the nerve to make rape jokes? And… Something just has to change. Please, someone just start being that change.

-16 year old girl

Back to School: How to Get an A*/8 or 9 in an English Lit Essay!

Happy September, everyone!

As we all get our gears in motion to start a new year, I thought I would share my top tips for scoring the highest marks in English Literature essays.

(P.S. Lots of these tips are applicable to other subjects too)

1. Don’t write about the character as if they are real

Unfortunately, this is a common error in English Lit essays. It is absolutely imperative to remember that a character is not a person, but is a construct of the writer in order to present an idea or theme. No matter the question, you should be linking your answer back to the writer’s ideas and theme of the text, even if it doesn’t seem obvious what the theme is on the first inspection of the question. Using the author’s name frequently in your essay will demonstrate that you recognise the character is not a real person - ‘Shakespeare portrays Macbeth as a tragic hero, as defined by Aristotle as…’

2. Don’t analyse the plot

Avoid analysing the plot or when things happen in the text. Don’t write ‘When X happens it makes us think Y’. Instead:

Analyse the writer’s use of language, structure and form to create meaning

Do a close language analysis of specific words/phrases, including a sound analysis (plosives, assonance, etc.)

Do a structural analysis of what happens when and why that’s important (Freytag’s pyramid)

Do an analysis of form (stage directions, dramatic monologue, etc.)

3. Keep your answer relevant throughout

You need to be explicitly answering the question - not going off on a tangent nor trying to change the question to suit an answer that you want to write. One way of avoiding this is by starting each paragraph with a topic sentence, summarising what that paragraph is going to be about and how it answers the question. Another method is simply by rewording the question into your answer at the start and end of every paragraph. At least. For greater impact, include synonyms of the word, which can also help with the readability of your answer.

4. Avoid PEE/PEEL/etc. where you can

Thousands of students are taught the same, basic Point-Evidence-Explain (or variant) analytical paragraph structure. If you want to stand out, show academic strength, and achieve the highest marks then you must break free from the chains of PEE! (This also applies for your introduction format. ‘In this essay, I will argue…’ gets pretty dull after reading it 100 times)

For my students, I will be teaching them to write What-How-Why paragraphs:

WHAT has the writer done?

HOW have they done it?

WHY have they done it/is it effective?

This way, your focus is always on why the writer has chosen to use that specific language/structure/form, but it allows you to be creative in crafting your response. Being able to discuss the ‘why’ of literature is the key to unlocking the highest grades. Reading through examiners’ reports this summer has made one thing clear - it is not enough to merely spot linguistic devices or structural features. You must explain why the writer has chosen them and why that is an effective choice (or not).

5. Avoid sweeping statements about context

The main advice here is to only include comments about the context of the text if it adds to the analytical point that you are making. They should not be a bolt-on sentence, but they should enhance your answer.

Further, sweeping claims like ‘All Jacobean women were oppressed by society’ is far too vague. On the other hand, a comment like ‘Lady Macbeth is a disturbing example of womanhood because she denies her gender at a time where the role of a woman was clear-cut, even patriarchal, in Jacobean society’ suggests that you have a greater understanding of how context can influence the writer’s choices.

6. A plan is your best friend

Always, always make time to plan your answer. A method I recommend is, first, circling the key words in the question (character/theme, what you are asked to do, where in the text you are asked to look, etc.). Secondly, write all of your ideas down onto the page, highlighting parts from the extract if you have that in front of you. Finally, select a judicious number of points that you are going to talk about (quality not quantity here) and number the order in which you are going to make them.

If you are writing a comparative essay, each paragraph must start and end with a comparative point about whatever it is you are comparing (characters/themes/etc.) I suggest the following format:

‘X is presented in both text A and text B. However, in A the author uses device 1 and 2 to demonstrate X. On the other hand, in B, the author demonstrates X via use of device 2 and 3.’ Then write one paragraph for each text. Repeat this again for another similarity. And again for a third - if you think that is appropriate.

Click HERE if you want more top tips/resources/essay advice/study motivation!!

Photo credit @eintsein 🌻

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lily-sam

4 years ago

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lily-sam

5 years ago

I swear i aspire to be on your level...👌🏻

today’s accomplishments ✨

• finished reading the sequel to “to all the boys i’ve loved before”! have any of you read it before? if so, feel free to message me about it (i have MANY thoughts on it and i want to scream about it with someone hehe)

• reviewed 3 chapters of japanese grammar

• reviewed a lesson of advanced korean vocab, twice

• reviewed 3 lessons of korean vocab

• wrote a poem on the train!

• watched a kdrama without subs and understood nearly all of it wooOO

• befriended a new language exchange partner + reconnected with an old friend + language exchange partner, it has been a v good day! 💫

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lily-sam

2 years ago

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lily-sam

5 years ago

PLEASE HELP ME AND MY FAMILY

Few months ago I started asking for donations because my sister’s husband left with another woman and has move to another country. We didn’t know where excacly. He doesn’t pay for anything, he doesn’t send any money. He is a piece of shit. He was homophobic towards me, he cheated on her when she was pregnant. He was controlling and jealous of everything. But my sister stayed with him because of the child.

Also she had to leave the place they live for the last 9 years because it was bought by his parents and they told her to move out. They never liked her and us because my family is poor.

She is back now in our parents home where I sill live too. There’s only two small rooms in the house, kitchen and one bathroom. All of this for 5 people now. They sleep on the floor in my bedrooom.

Also a two months ago my sister had a car accident and her car was completely trash. And she needs one because we live 5km from school and there’s no bus on my street or the next one.

For the last couple of months we raised 843$. It goes for bills, school payments and supplies and meds.

My sister is really depressed now and we need to help her with everything. She started taking antidepressands. They are not cheap and she still doesn’t work. So I ask you to help us a little more, maybe a month or two.

Also we all are strugling so much. We only have my father’s pension. that’s 1300zl for five people for the entire month. My health is not letting me work right now. I have asthma attacks almost every day. and I may have SM like my mom. Right now i don’t have money to buy meds. I’m 2 months behind with my bills.This is all the money I have:

I don’t know what to do. All my meds:

Please if you can spare even a dollar, it would be amazing. Paypal: monicakil@mail.com or gogetfunding

Also you could also saw similar post on my second blog: itsmagnuswinchester

UPDATE ON MONDAY JULY 21: I STILL DIDN’T REACH MY GOAL AND I’M GONNA BE WITHOUT MY MEDS NEXT WEEK. PLEASE EVEN A DOLLAR MAKE A DIFFRENCE

ALSO MY SECOND BLOG IS DOOMSDAYY AND YOU COULD SEE A POST THERE TOO.

Paypal: monicakil@mail.com or gogetfunding

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lily-sam

5 years ago

top surgery fund

hey there everyone, i’ve been pretty radio silent since my a levels ended because i am not really working. i am a trans guy who has been on testosterone for five months now and really want to start getting myself to a position to be able to get top surgery. i have been binding since i was about 14 (i’m 18 now) and with asthma and hypermobility mean that the several intercostal muscle sprains because of both of those things, bindings a pain in my ass i can’t be bothered with and also, i don’t want to bind, want to yeet my tit.

as of right now i am looking at surgeons and speaking to my GIC about a referral to a surgeon (which will be about £300) and then a consultation which will likely be no more than £200 as far as I have seen and then hopefully no more than £7k for the actual surgery + all of that jazz.

i’m working on getting some money from various places but would really appreciate it if people were able to chip in just a lil bit via my paypal (paypal.me/jusafn). i’d really appreciate anything people are able to do, be that a small contribution or just reblogging.

tldr; gay, trans, nd, mentally ill, asthmatic guy w/ hypermobility n semi fucked up ribs wants top surgery bus has no money pls help :”) link is paypal.me/jusafn

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