And Not A Pet, But

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

I have absolutely no recollection of making this.

Just got my wisdom teeth out, I can see four pairs of glasses where there's two. Feel confused like I gotta concussion, but with the ice outside that's ceartinly an option.

I feel like Bruce Wayne projects the kind of amiable playboy 'fun' vibe that he'd be the type of celebrity that certain interviewers feel comfortable surprising with puppies.

You know the kind of shows I mean.

The late-night talk show situations where they're making benign small talk with their smiling guest, and there's a segment where animals get brought out, usually to talk about some sort of ecological relief effort.

So you're watching your trash TV talk show late at night, and you get to watch billionaire pretty boy Bruce Wayne be begrudgingly talked into holding a (relatively) harmless creature which inevitably gets a lot of delighted shrieks from the audience as it starts being a lot more active than the handler promised. And to his credit, Bruce doesn't flinch, he doesn't freak out. But his eyes are a little wide, and his voice a little tight as the smile on his face takes on a slight rictus quality before he's inevitably rescued by an apologetic handler who is also laughing because they all know there was no real danger, it was just funny to put Bruce, who is an undeniable good sport and already laughing along, out of his comfort zone for the sake of charity.

Meanwhile, up in the Justice League headquarters, several founding members of the League are wondering how fast they can get a fake Oscar award shipped to the space station because fuck off. Absolutely fuck off, Bruce. Where the fuck did he study? Juilliard? (Probably.)

(Clark ends up going to a novelty store during the commercial break. It's faster than trying to get anything shipped, even with the infrastructure Bats built for them. He finds it several days later taped to his console in a conspicuously empty briefing room. It's gaudy and awful, the words "Best Actor" engraved on the plaque. No one's around to see him smile. No one comments when it vanishes. Everyone thinks it's been yeeted out an airlock. Dick absolutely comments when it shows up in the manor, stashed in one of the trophy cases that sprung up for all the bat kids' school awards. Bruce has no idea how it got there. Must have been Alfred. (It was not.))

Anyway, consider, for your amusement, Bruce Wayne getting highjacked on The Gotham Toight Show with a handful of wriggling puppies and, for a split second, not having to pretend he's delighted to be there.

Danny keeps on meeting Brucie Wayne at Galas when he goes to keep Sam company. He hates the man. There is no adoption, no adoption jokes, he never meets Batman. Give me Danny Fenton and his unending beef with Brucie Wayne. Bruce finds this absolutely hilarious. This feisty 14 year old is incredibly fun to antagonize.

Danny: What? You think we're what? No, no, it's ghosts. They came predead, already dead, free with a side of constant invasion. Zombies? Who told you that?

Bart:... The government?

Danny: And you believed them?

Bart: Zombies are real!

Danny: I'm aware. I'm saying you shouldn't trust the government and what they say.

Tim: If you don't trust the government, why are you doing taxes?

Danny: Because I don't trust them not to buy hitmen for the IRS, keep up.

It's Danny's first time doing his taxes, and he's reaching out to an online friend to help him. This is how he discovers that as far as the rest of the world is concerned, Amity Park is a barely contained zombie outbreak.

He'd made an online friend, Bart, and they played video games a lot.

Danny's fulltime job is inventing alongside his parents, and as that makes him self-employed (he doesn't work for his parents just next to them), this makes his taxes a little...scary. And it's his first tax season.

He reaches out to Bart, and asks if he knows anyone who files as self employed and if they'd be able to give him some guidance.

He can't ask his parents because, apparently, they've just been throwing random numbers on the papers and have no interest in actually doing them. Danny would like to do this properly.

Also he would like to know how his parents haven't been arrested? Questions for later.

So he shoots a message to Bart, who's apparently in the middle of some sort of sleepover with all of his old friends. Bart assures him that it's fine, and they'll all pitch in to help.

They just need to know his city and state so that the nerd of the group, some guy named Tim, can look up local state and city tax law.

When he tells them he's from Amity Park, there's no response for a good ten minutes.

What follows is a barely legible request for a phone number to call, and a group of people on the other side shouting and asking how he's avoided dying in the hellscape zombie apocalypse that is Amity Park.

Danny has no idea what the other shit means, but he's not about to dodge a chance to make a dead joke when he has one.

"I mean. If you wanna get technical, I didn't. Is...that something that'll effect my taxes?"

OR: The GIW has been lying to keep the Justice League and Justice League Dark out of Amity Park by declaring it a Disaster Zone, stating that not only is there massive pollutants in the air and soil, but that the undead run rampant and are barely contained. The wording they use, however, is a little weird upon closer inspection. It never specifies zombie, and it never says what pollutants. Danny's not super interested about that, though; he just wants to pay his taxes so that the IRS doesn't kill him in his sleep.

Green Lantern: My only weakness is the colour yellow.

Green Lantern: *Looks over to Danny eating various, inedible green things at Flash's insistance*

Green Lantern: And that guy, apparently.

DPxDC Prompt

Danny rarely eats around the Justice league, usually eats before his shift or afterwards. One day during an Luthor emergency Danny is forced to head in early without breakfast which makes him more irritable, he phases Lex right out of his mech suit and rips the kryptonite right out of his grasp.

Flash zips up to Danny as Batman cuff Luthor and asks if he's feeling alright, Danny grumbles that he is starving and that he missed breakfast before eating the Kryptonite right in front of the Justice League. To say they are shocked is an understatement, unfortunately Danny excuses himself before they can get an explanation.

Later when working with the Bats they are caught in an investigation of the League of Assassins, forced to engage they inadvertently discover a new Lazarus pit and Danny immediately disengages with the assassins as he flies to the pit with a shriek of excitement. Before Batman can stop him, Batman along with a whole room of assassins are struck dumb by as Danny leans over the pit and starts DRINKING IT.

Batman is struggling to find a connection between the Lazarus pits and Kryptonite as he is updating Danny's profile at the Watchtower. Not a lot is known about Danny's species, most of the knowledge is kept to the Ecto-entities themselves and even more so after the Anti-ecto acts.(even thought they have been repealed)

He steps away from the profile closing down the Watchtower computer to get more info from the source. He finds Danny in the gym with a Green Lantern in a mock battle, Lantern constructs seem to be the only thing the Justice League has to combat Danny's phasing ability which is both frustrating and relieving to know, standing to the side he watches Danny get grabbed by a hand shaped construct of Green Lantern energy.

Danny struggles for a bit before grabbing the construct by his teeth and TAKING A BITE OUT OF IT! Danny pauses along with the Green Lantern, both shocked but for different reasons, Danny lights up exclaiming "That's good!?" before ravenously going after the construct as Green Lantern shrieks and recalls the construct, only to get tackled by Danny who demands more.

Flash cackles "You should have known this would happen! Phantom can eat anything green and glowing!"

Batman freezes, that can't be it, but as he considers that facts he finds they re the only variables that all three things have in common…

Danny eats the color green.

Reblog if you are okay with people giving you lots of boops!

Constantine stared. The summoning had worked... mostly. Well he thought it worked?! There was an appropriate amount of glowing, chanting, unexplained cold and the feeling of magic being drawn in, but he had expected...

"Can I help you?" The person-teenager asked, voice slightly muffled from behind the intricate flaming crown completely obscuring their face. It settled on his shoulders, rather uncomfortable looking in all honesty, and tilted funnily, but was still large enough to obscure the child's(?) face except for a tuft of flowing, fluffy white hair.

"Yeah," Constantine replied after a moment. "We're looking for Phantom, King of the Infinite Realms, Pariah's Bane, Twice Savior of the Infinite Realms, bearer of many titles, etcetera," He chewed on his cigarette and tried to act casual. "We tried summonin' him and got you instead. Know why?"

The kid let out a very long sigh, and slumped over where he hovered, crown tilting precariously on his shoulders. "That's cause I'm me. Phantom. That's me. King of the Infinite Realms, person with too many fucking titles. Who are-," The kid paused where he had tilted the oversized crown up to peer out at the League members gathered around the circle, gave a little yip of surprise and dropped the crown back down in front of his face. "The Justice League," the kid squeaked, "I got summoned by the Justice League. Cool, cool, I am being SO normal about this,"

Constantine got the feeling that the kid, Phantom, (a kid whose crown was too big for his head, who still got starry eyed at heroes when by many accounts he was one) was very much not being as cool as he wanted to be.

DPxDC Prompt where Danny gets ghost king summoned by the JL, but it’s one of those “crown too big for he gotdamn head” situations, and not in a way that looks cool.

It’s just completely obscuring his face, sat on his shoulders with tufts of white hair poking out. 

Danny’s only glad they can’t see him blushing (and that he can hide the damn thing when he’s not actively forced to reveal the artifacts by, say, a fucking summoning).

CALLED OUT