Never Mind, Full Regrets, Someone Brought A Bedazzled Jug Of Milk.

The One (1) time Bruce meets Danny is the one time they get answers. When asked why the Hell did Danny come home with Bruce, he replies through a mouthful of food,

"He fed me, so I followed him home,"

Damian, local animal enthusiast, curses underneath his breath. Why didn't he think of that!

danny's 'the most guy who can't leave well enough alone' ever

Dick: OMG Bruce, you got his number??

Bruce: H egave me this sigil to contact him.

Dick: Okay, so you got his magic phone number. When do I get to meet my new father in law?

Bruce: We have barely had a conversation.

Dick: Okay.

Bruce:...He'll be over for dinner on Friday with his daughter.

Dick: Hah, knew it. I'll make sure everyone is there.

Bruce: Wait-

Dick: EVERYONE.

Spirit Halloween Meet Cute AU short

The ritual was well underway, and Bruce could see Dick choking on a strange liquid the cultists were forcing down his throat. It was the same liquid that filled the small pool he was restrained in.

It was Lazarus Waters.

As if that wasn't enough, drawn in blood on the ground was a strange sigil, presumably for invoking something or someone.

And Bruce knew he was out of time; if he wanted Dick to survive, he couldn't wait for a JLD member.

He had to move.

He broke the skylight and crashed into the middle of the enemy, trusting his team to follow. The fighting was mostly a blur, with Bruce's sole focus on getting to a now-limp Nightwing.

And then the sigil lit up.

From the Lazarus water Dick was resting in, a figure started to emerge.

It appeared to be a man around the same age as Bruce, a little taller than him, with snow white hair and glowing green eyes. He was haloed with an ethereal light as he picked up Dick's unconscious body like it was nothing.

Bruce did not think.

Only vaguely aware of the cries of despair behind him, Bruce launched himself at the strange being and decked it in the face.

The being reeled back, and Bruce used its distraction to rip Dick out of its arms.

Bruce darted back enough to hand Dick off to a swearing Jason, and readied himself to go after the being again.

But the being just stood there, hand to its face as it stared at him in...awe?

"You're a human," it-he-said, appearing amazed, "And you actually managed to hurt me."

Bruce bared his teeth in a facsimile of a smile.

"I can make it hurt a lot worse, too-"

"Marry me."

...

"...What?"

"Wait, did I say that outloud?"

"I can't...I don't even know who you are. So. Marriage is not. Uh." Bruce fumbled, unsure of how to handle this turn of events.

"My moniker is Phantom, my name is Danny, and I'm going to disappear now and act like I don't exist."

There was an overwhelming pressure, his ears popped, and Bruce's opponent was...gone.

"Tt. He is clearly not good enough for you."

"Cute."

"Black Bat, no; watching out father figure flirt is not cute. B, if you're done swooning, we need to finish mopping up the cultists."

What if he was still the school janitor the entire time. You can't link him to anything. Oh, a man with black hair and blue eyes did it? How do you know Bruce Wayne didn't decide to snap? Oh you don't? Then I will resume cleaning, thank you and goodbye.

Danny decided to be a janitor at Gotham's private school. Mostly because he wanted to annoy the students by making them think that he was just a poor tired man and later have a dramatic revelation about him being a retired hero (he watched too much Spiderman), well, that and the fact that he needed a job where they didn't ask for a background check.

Of course, Tim immediately realized that something was wrong with the new Janitor but doesn't rat him out because he thinks he's just a meta hiding on Gotham and he can call Clark later. He regrets that decision when the Joker tries to kidnap the school (as normal) and the janitor, panicking, freezes the entire school, including Tim.

In Danny's defense, he hates clowns and will react to any clown around with aggression. Jason approves the weird Janitor.

Dan: NOBODY MESSES WITH THESE KIDS-

Realizes the teen heroes are Right There.

Dan: Uh, except me. Muahah.

Dan, reformed after three millennia in an isolated time pocket and lots of therapy, decides to try being a hero again.

Only, he's not very good at it. He looks fucking terrifying, and when people see him they tend to run towards the actual danger to get away.

So he's hanging out, invisible, on a random cities rooftop, when a pair of kid vigilantes plop down and start complaining how their mentors don't trust them ecause they haven't had any real combat experience. But to get experience, they need to be out there!

So while these teenagers plan something monumentally stupid, Dan realizes he has a unique opportunity.

Dan becomes a training villain.

A villain that specifically is meant to test kid vigilantes.

He does stupid, petty villain shit and the adult heroes quickly realize that this villain, instead of hurting their kid sidekicks, is teaching them between blows.

Dan's powers are nothing to sneeze at, so a kid vigilante holding their own against him for at least four minutes is considered impressive.

But he never, ever, hurts the kids.

There was an incident where another villain hurt a kid in front of Dan.

No one knows where that villain is.

@simplestoryteller

Saying, oh look at that [insert cute animal] knowing full well they are driving and cannot look.

the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not

There's a glowing humanoid adolescent looking being covered in a violently green glowing blood(?) covering them. They look at Hal, and the look so, so scared.

"Hey, I'm here to help," Hal says, as softly as he can. Universal translation of the ring don't fail him now.

The kid opens their mouth but nothing comes out. Their gloved(?) hands reach up to clutch at their throat, showing off the strange, sharp handcuffs on their wrists. The kid looks up at him, eyes wide and beseeching.

"I'm going to come closer, okay? I'll get those off you, and get you somewhere safe, okay?"

'Promise?' The kid mouths, overexagerated. (Is this what Batman feels before he gets another for his brood? Hal has to say he now regretfully understands where Bats is coming from.)

"Yeah kid," Hal replies as he slowly hovers closer, "I promise,"

DPxDC Prompt

After escaping the GIW by flying into the GIW’s own portal Danny flies aimlessly in search of the far frozen to heal and rest. With a fresh wound on his throat and  wearing the GIW’s patented power suppression cuffs, Danny can’t even speak let alone use most of his powers.

He can’t even dodge as a natural portal opens right on top of him spitting him out in the void of space!

Shocked and stunned he can barely react when a man in a green suit flies up to meet him asking him if he needs help.

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

Reblog for larger sample size.

Guess what? Thanks to me and a friend, Who’s Old Now actually has a TV Tropes page!

Cool, I think. What's a TV Tropes page and where can I find it? Thank you for putting in the effort, even if I don't actually know what this is.