Plot twist! Danny's into that too. He wants someone to match the dramatic flair, and would you look at that? He's got it. And, well, bonus points to Jason for not minding getting French dipped by a twink. Seems to be the opposite, in fact.
One of those "Danny needs a consort" fics where a bunch of people are invited to a mass speed dating event. The invitation uses prettier words but thats what this is. Now Batman wants to go get a look a this super powerful being and see if he's a threat or ally, and would you look at that, most of his children fall into the age bracket the invitation specifies 
(or maybe the batkids have just been touched by death enough they're viable candidates and got personalized invitations. Either way Bruce wants to go)
So Batman says a few of his kids will go and he's tagging along as a "chaperone". Maybe a few other JL members do the same with their proteges. The hard part for Bruce is actually getting his kids to agree to go. The biggest surprise is Jason finds out and demands to go.
Now Jason, a known lover of regency period romances, read a copy of the invitation the JL got and knew exactly what this was. There will be a ball. The word "courting" was used. This is a chance to live out his secret romance novel dreams and nothing is getting in the way of that. So he calls the batfam to say he's going
The batfam are like flabbergasted that Jason wants to go to a spooky speed dating event but it has the added bonus of getting the kids to start volunteering bc they have to know why Jason is so excited about this
The pit waters are in you. They want to go home.
One fun fact about me is that there is a pit in the forest. It is a part of me. I do not know where my reflection ends and I begin and I am so entwined with its murky waters I have begun to wonder if I am human at all, or if I am some creation of mud and wood given life against its will. When I die look for me in the pit. I will be in there, watching you.
And for Danny he could be
1: Suspiciously eyeing Jason. Why is this ghost/halfa/liminal dating his teacher? Is it a plot to get to him? Spectra tried being an employee, maybe the new plan to get close and hurt people is to date an employee. Well not on his watch! This 'Jason' guy is going to be so closely watched, Danny will learn his every secret. Every. Single. One. No one hurts his class + teacher!
2: Mr. Lancer is dating a ghost/liminal/halfa? Mr. Lancer protects them all from the anti-ecto acts? Does that mean Mr. Lancer and Jason could accept him? Jason just pulled a gun on a GIW agent. Yeah, could you sign right here? No, this isn't an adoption form, what are you talking about.
Either Jason coaxes Danny in like a feral cat, or Danny 'Batman Adoption Bait' Fenton is doing his level best to get adopted, despite Jason's confusion (and deep desire to never let his siblings know).
Jason doesn’t want to bring Lancer anywhere near his nightlife and Lancer is perfectly fine with that. Lancer manages to convince Jason into some martial arts and combat training to defend his students if need be. It’s pretty concerning how often he has to use said training.
New chapter if Who's Old Now? is up! First part of a three part arc. Come check it out!
They came. They saw. They ran over the Joker. They left.
dp x dc prompt/mini blurb thing:
Somewhere along the line, stealing the Batmobile had seemed like the best option.
Elle would stand by that - admittedly short-sighted and kind of panic induced - logic. It was a vehicle that no one would try and stop. It was fast. The keys were in the ignition. Easiest car theft of her life. Or, well, unlife. Whatever. Still the easiest.
She may have forgotten that Superman could fly as fast as the stupid tank of a car could go. Or that Gotham had other vigilantes, that had bikes that were way more maneuverable, or that Billy was a big baby about car chases.
“WATCH THE ROAD!”
“YOU WATCH THE ROAD I’M DRIVING HERE!”
there should be a hug button where you can tell your mutuals its going to be okay instead of liking their vent post and hoping they realize ur not agreeing that they should die
Constantine: There are hyper specific manners, and if you break them you will join the kings court as an undead thrall.
Batman: Okay. Young man, you need to eat healthy.
Danny Phantom, teenager, also King of the Infinite Realms: Okay Mr. Batman.
Constantine was pacing back and forth in the waiting room, hands flying as he went over the rules of dealing with Infinite Realm Nobility for the eighteenth time.
Bruce tried to pay attention, really. But he'd already memorized this speech of the Laughing Magicians, and all there was really left to do was wait for their turn to meet the High King.
A flash of movement caught Bruce's attention, and he found his eyes drawn to a completely human teenager meandering his way from one of the side doors and towards the refrigerator stocked with "mortal friendly snacks".
Bruce kept quiet as he heard the teen muttering to himself about "aw yeah fuck yeah fiji water fuck yes", and let Constantine drone on and on about how they were probably the first mortals the King had ever met.
The teenager behind the ranting man stocked his arms full of Fiji water, chips, and cosmic brownies.
Then the Teen turned and realized Bruce was watching him.
Bruce shook his head minutely.
The teen slowly turned back to the fridge and put everything but the Fiji water back. That and the cosmic brownie.
Cautious blue eyes met his, and the kid raised an eyebrow.
Bruce scowled.
The brownie was quickly replaced with a banana.
Bruce gave a slight nod and looked away.
The teen darted back through the side door.
He didn't know who the kid was, but eating healthy was important. And, okay, maybe his own experience with kids had shoved its way to the front of his brain and taken over.
At least the random teenager in the Land of the Dead would have a healthy snack.
Two more minutes passed before the small entourage was allowed into the antechamber.
A glowing, floating boy was hovering just above the throne. White hair, glowing green eyes, a crown that looked like it was made of shattered pieces of space glittering above his head-and a poorly hidden half empty bottle of Fiji water peeking out at them from behind the throne, kept company by a single banana.
...Huh.
He had either told the Kings servant what to feed the King, or...
"Welcome to the Infinite Realms, I am Phantom, High King. For what reason do you seek an audience?"
Oh. Nope, nevermind on the servant theory. That was the kids voice.
Bruce had directly told the King of an entire dimension what he could and could not eat.
Yeah, the love of hitting people.
Rachel: My toxic trait is that I love to hit people.
Cassie: My toxic trait is that I spend too much time worrying about moral quandaries.
Tobias: My toxic trait is that I run away from my problems.
Jake: My toxic trait is that I have a blind spot where my family is involved.
Ax: My toxic trait is the poison sac inside my hoof.
Marco: My toxic trait is — wait what.
"I forgot to turn it back on again,"
"YOU WHAT-"
Sam, Tucker and Danny get tired of drawing out Danny's summoning circle (which they use for quick transport and emergency evacuation of Danny from difficult situations. Or just to force him to take a break from heroing) They get a stamp with Danny's summoning circle on it for extra convenient summonings (perhaps circles that do not intend to bind the summonee into place can be Small and Stamp sized.... or they summon Danny as little baby man) just dip the stamp into Whatever (ink, blood, waterver else can be used) and Stamp it where you need it
genuinely a big brain move. They have to be sure to make sure that stamp doesn't get lost though. The chaos that would cause would be too terrifying to fathom
Yo! I'm Lira, she/her, LiraBuswavi on Ao3, and I'm just here to have a good time. The header is fanart I received for a fanfic I wrote! Check out @doodlesforfics, they're an amazing artist.
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