1: It Will Piss Off Vlad Masters.

1: It will piss off Vlad Masters.

2: There is precedent (pictures of all the Batkids)

3: I fit in to your adoption preferences.

4: Elaborating on the previous points, I look like a Wayne.

5: I have a bad home life.

6: I have a strong sense of morals and justice.

7: I have a punny sense of humor.

8: Moving on, I have experience with billionaires with a secret lair under their house.

9: I also know about your vigilante personas, so you don't need to hide it from me.

10: I am also a vigilante, so I can help when needed and am not helpless if targeted.

11: I'm dead, so I need specialized care that only someone as rich as you could afford.

12: On that subject, I have a ghost doctor that can help with Jason's pit madness.

...

65: It would be really funny for me.

66: I'm a package deal. You get an extra daughter for free!

67: I am a poor child who has hardly known a parents love, wouldn't you like to do something about that?

68: Tim already knows me, so I'll already have a friend.

69: You already have adoption papers ready. I already stole some and partially filled them out.

In conclusion, sign here to be my legal guardian and dad, please.

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

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More Posts from Lirabuswavi and Others

1 year ago

reblog to give the person you reblogged from the strength to complete The Task™

1 year ago

Reblog for larger sample size.


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1 year ago

No ❤️

Fortune Teller Beck, Tell Me My Fate!

Fortune teller Beck, tell me my fate!

(he says that spideys doomed. oof./j)

I really like this plush design, and again, anything with moons is Quentin Beck to me. And crystal balls!!

1 year ago

Yeah, the love of hitting people.

Rachel: My toxic trait is that I love to hit people.

Cassie: My toxic trait is that I spend too much time worrying about moral quandaries.

Tobias: My toxic trait is that I run away from my problems.

Jake: My toxic trait is that I have a blind spot where my family is involved.

Ax: My toxic trait is the poison sac inside my hoof.

Marco: My toxic trait is — wait what.

6 months ago

greetings!!!! coming over here on tumblr from ao3 to to say how much i love your feemor has a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day fic. A LOT I LOVE IT A ALOT!!!! <33333

Hi! I saw your comments, they really made me smile! I'm glad you liked it. I'm working on the next chapter but I also have three different WIPs so it's taking a while, lol. Thank you for taking the time to say hi!

1 year ago

EY ITS FINALS SEASON!

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR EXAMS!

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR ESSAYS!

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR PRESENTATIONS!

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR FINAL PROJECTS!

GOOD LUCK!!! YOU’VE MADE IT THIS FAR!!

and a gentle reminder to take breaks, and get a snack and some water. Don’t forget to take a moment to breathe.

and if you can, try to do something nice for yourself after its all over. No matter how it turns out, you struggled and you survived so you deserve something nice :)

1 year ago

The Captain's been gone for a long time now. We're not sure what we're supposed to do. Our purpose has changed. We're still a crew, but there aren't anymore pirates. It died out. Except for us.

We wish the Captain was here. They always knew what to do. Some want them because we're angry at being left behind, but still stuck here. Others because they want all this to end. But it won't. It can't.

It's been a very long time. We tried going our separate ways, but in the end we came back together. No one can understand us but each other. We can't stay stationary for long. But we can stay together.

It's been a very, very long time. We're still here. We miss our Captain. Even as long as it's been, we remember them. We remember their crooked smile, the easy charisma. We were willing to follow them to the ends of the Earth. But they died. And we're still here. What does it mean? Does it mean anything at all?

The world's a bigger place now. There's continents and countries, with their own names and languages. We've sailed around the world a dozen times. But all we can think is that we wish Captain was here.

It's been a very, very, very long time. Our newest ship has taken us to the stars. It's infinite. We'll never run out of places to sail to, or so they say. The Captain was a fantastic astrologer. They would've loved this.

It's been a very, very, very, very long time. They've invented something called artificial intelligence. They're part of ships now. We can custom order our own, exactly the way we want them.

Their interface has a crooked smile and easy charisma. Their the best astrologer among us. We turn them on.

"Well," Our Captain says, voice exactly the same as we haven't heard in thousands of years, "I see that you listened to me,"

“You’re not allowed to die without my permission!” The Captain had barked the night before the battle. We laughed then. 100 years later, it’s not as funny.


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1 year ago

Danny, holding out a note and blushing like a school girl: Um, here. This is for you.

Bruce, expecting a love letter or something conventional:..What.

Danny: I heard you like contingency plans. This one's for me.

Green Lantern: Ridiculous, no way that-

Bruce, blushing: Hn. Would you like to meet my children?

Green Lantern: THAT WORKED??!

Spirit Halloween Meet Cute AU short

The ritual was well underway, and Bruce could see Dick choking on a strange liquid the cultists were forcing down his throat. It was the same liquid that filled the small pool he was restrained in.

It was Lazarus Waters.

As if that wasn't enough, drawn in blood on the ground was a strange sigil, presumably for invoking something or someone.

And Bruce knew he was out of time; if he wanted Dick to survive, he couldn't wait for a JLD member.

He had to move.

He broke the skylight and crashed into the middle of the enemy, trusting his team to follow. The fighting was mostly a blur, with Bruce's sole focus on getting to a now-limp Nightwing.

And then the sigil lit up.

From the Lazarus water Dick was resting in, a figure started to emerge.

It appeared to be a man around the same age as Bruce, a little taller than him, with snow white hair and glowing green eyes. He was haloed with an ethereal light as he picked up Dick's unconscious body like it was nothing.

Bruce did not think.

Only vaguely aware of the cries of despair behind him, Bruce launched himself at the strange being and decked it in the face.

The being reeled back, and Bruce used its distraction to rip Dick out of its arms.

Bruce darted back enough to hand Dick off to a swearing Jason, and readied himself to go after the being again.

But the being just stood there, hand to its face as it stared at him in...awe?

"You're a human," it-he-said, appearing amazed, "And you actually managed to hurt me."

Bruce bared his teeth in a facsimile of a smile.

"I can make it hurt a lot worse, too-"

"Marry me."

...

"...What?"

"Wait, did I say that outloud?"

"I can't...I don't even know who you are. So. Marriage is not. Uh." Bruce fumbled, unsure of how to handle this turn of events.

"My moniker is Phantom, my name is Danny, and I'm going to disappear now and act like I don't exist."

There was an overwhelming pressure, his ears popped, and Bruce's opponent was...gone.

"Tt. He is clearly not good enough for you."

"Cute."

"Black Bat, no; watching out father figure flirt is not cute. B, if you're done swooning, we need to finish mopping up the cultists."


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1 year ago

This implies that Danny is fully referred to as Mischeif in the Watchtower, which I believe is appropriate.

A de-aged Danny is living at Wayne Manor. The only problem is that he is attached to Jason. Like deeply attached. He even refuses to sleep if he's not cuddling the man. Now the bats must actually confront their feelings since they're around each other a whole lot more.

Meanwhile Danny is just happy to help cure the stinky nasty man of his stinky nastiness. Plus he's the best storyteller out of all of them.


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lirabuswavi - LiraBuswavi
LiraBuswavi

Yo! I'm Lira, she/her, LiraBuswavi on Ao3, and I'm just here to have a good time. The header is fanart I received for a fanfic I wrote! Check out @doodlesforfics, they're an amazing artist.

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