Happy Normal Fuckin Day To Everyone Who Doesnt Celebrate Christmas Or Rly Any Holidays Today N Tomorrow.

Authour: @lirabuswavi

Subfandom: Other (Shazam/Captain Marvel, Danny Phantom)

Media: All Media Types

Relationships: Gen (Billy Batson & Danny Fenton)

Year: 2022

Summary:

“Am I your dad!!?” Billy shouted. Danny paused. Took a deep breath in and out before turning to him. “I’m gonna need you to back up, and explain. Please.” Or, what happens when a twelve year old masquerading as an adult superhero calls his guardian, an adult who can also turn into a child superhero, on speaker phone, in front of the Justice League.

Submitted by anon

Submitter's comment:

Yes yes it's a crossover of the blended/integrated universes variety. Billy is still the primary MC though/ball is mostly in DC court. The wonked up age wbit is funny, and they stuck to it. It's also genuinely and generally pretty sweet.

Tim: You made my boyfriend cry. You're gonna WIS-

Danny: Don't say the W word!

Tim:...You better hope you find a good enough hiding spot. It won't work, but it'll at least delay the inevitable.

Danny, at 17, did not have the best love life. This is partially because two of his must haves in a partner are " Will protect me with their life" and "Will commit unspeakable acts of violence for me" or at least beat someone up for his honor.

Naturally, this doesn't always result in the most stable of partners.

His first girlfriend, Valerie, became an anti-hero and broke up with him for his safety.

He finally got with Sam in sophomore year only for the feds to come into class one day to arrest her. To his surprise, her crimes had nothing to do with ghosts but rather an incident where she went too far and committed a few acts of economic terrorism. Danny and Tucker never really learned the specifics of the crimes, and her parents hushed up as many news outlets as they could, so there wasn't much info to go around. All they knew was that she saved thousands of lives by doing it.

In the end, she was sentenced to eight years, and she broke up with him so that he wouldn't wait around for her to get out.

His third partner was a guy named David who was really sweet. Unfortunately, Danny got kidnapped one day by David's arch nemesis, who was some villain with a corny edge lord name. Yeah. David had become a a super hero after they started dating.

And if you guessed that he freaked out and dumped Danny for his own protection, you'd deserve a cookie.

Danny was noticing a pattern here. One that continued with everyone he dated. They always became some kind of hero before dumping him for his own protection, and it was infuriating. Sure, danny could defend himself, but he was never deep enough into the relationship to reveal his phantom half, and frankly, his hero career was something he left behind when he left Amity and destroyed the portals.

He met Tim at a skatepark after Tim fell off his board cause of some jerk speeding out in front of him on his own board, forcing Tim to stop or else hit the guy. The guy was unrepentant and Tim calmed him down (this did not stop him from melting the guys wheels with an ectoblast when no one was looking).

Tim then asked him to coffee. Danny, noticing how cute Tim was, agreed.

Danny was up front with his parents being mad scientists in Illinois. He always was with all the people he dated. It was better not to hide these kinds of things or worse, wait until you're already attached and afraid of losing them. So he always told potential partners as early as possible. Tim seemed a bit put off by this but was calmer about it than most, and they continued chatting.

Tim didn't seem like the type to turn to heroism or anti heroism so he felt safe on their later dates. It was only after he had known Tim for a while that he put the pieces together.

Tim was always covered in bruises that he hid with his clothes and make up, he had complained about batman over the phone when he thought danny could hear, he was rich, he knew how to fight as revealed by his stances and footwork dispite trying to pretend he didn't, and lastly he held a lot of political power and influence being Bruce Wayne's son. Power he had no reservations using when it suited him or he was just feeling petty (that pettiness was part of why danny was falling for him harder than he thought he could)

No wonder Tim was so okay with his parents being rouges.

Tim was a villain!

At least Tim wouldn't leave him like all his exes. Danny doesn't think he could handle it if he did. Another good thing about this is now he can talk more freely about the more villainous and morally gray ideas and inventions when he was alone with Tim.

Tim didn't see anything wrong with Danny's idea to use something similar to cloning pods to make synthetic meats like rump roasts and steaks as a way to end world hunger and was eager to add to the conversation.

Hal Jordan: I have to go.

Superman: We're in the middle of a mandatory meeting-

Hal, sprinting out the door: I HAVE TO GO!

Several hours, one blown up government building, and several dozen Green Lanterns taking post around the Watchtower medbay later:

Danny: What do you MEAN I'm in charge of space cops? Can I disband you?

Green Lanterns having one very large collective heart attack: Why?!

Danny: Because acab, that's why. Wait... I'm in charge of the space police. Does that mean if I want to make reforms, I can do that, little to no questions asked?

Green Lanterns: Um...

Danny: Cool, I need to make a call. Sam has the list of police reforms.

Green Lanterns: Um?!

Lazarus Pact AU

In the last moments of his reign, King of the Inifinite Realms attacked the victor and fled to the mortal plane to prevent the Tyrant known as Pariah Dark from absorbing his core and stealing his powers for himself. Those who couldn't challenge the new king's rule and wanted nothing to do with the barbaric monarch followed soon after.

Notably, the seemingly countless elite warriors who were revered for their expertise at ectoplasmic manipulation who joined the Former King throughout his eons-long time as ruler of the Realms.

However, in an environment with very little to no ambient ectoplasm, they had to use their energy reserves sparingly until they found a new home. The journey nearly resulted in them nearly fading from existence in the void of space, but they had found salvation in the form of beings called 'Guardians' who held similar beliefs to the monarch himself.

So, a pact was made, and conditions had to be met. The most important were the following:

~•~ ~•~ ~•~

1) The Warriors of the Infinite Realms would house themselves in artifacts that were virtually indestructible to any form of harm to keep them safe.

The Guardians would create power rings to keep them safe.

2) Ectoplasm was essential for beings of the Realms. Without it is to perish, so an energy would be needed to replenish their cores.

The Guardians got to work and made ectoplasmic generators that could revitalize a warrior's energy within a matter of seconds to carry on in their duties. These devices were to be called Lanterns.

3) A stealth team would be made to keep an eye on the happenings within the Inifinite Realms, specifically the young king Dark, and reported to the former king.

The Guardians established an elite team of Green Lanterns composed of their best members. These mission reports would be classified and kept secret from the Corps at large for the former king's eyes only.

4) Should Pariah Dark lose his crown, they would be informed by the former king. Should the new monarch be a just soul, the Green Lanterns are to protect this being with their lives and come to his aid in his hour of need.

Failure to do so will result in the forced disbanding of the Green Lanterns Corps via the destruction of the his own core. The Guardians, despite their scientific prowess and failsafes, could not hope to stop this event if it came to pass.

Upon hearing this, the Guardians would anxiously make their weekly scouting parties turn daily and scour the Realms for trouble.

5) From that day onward, the former king would no longer be addressed with his old title. A new one would be made.

The Guardians would address the entity as Ion, the Being of Willpower.

~•~ ~•~ ~•~

When Ion booms across all power rings that the new king is in need of immediate assistance, the Guardians send every available Lantern to intercept the threat.

The question being...who is it?

I made something

They attempt to present this as some kind of bad thing. All I can think of is that people on this hellsite would genuinely buy Bisexual Biden chocolate. There would be memes. People buying entire bags of Bisexual Bidens because people would think that's the funniest shit they've seen in the last week. Strange how one man's nightmare is another person' Tumblr post.

I feel like Bruce Wayne projects the kind of amiable playboy 'fun' vibe that he'd be the type of celebrity that certain interviewers feel comfortable surprising with puppies.

You know the kind of shows I mean.

The late-night talk show situations where they're making benign small talk with their smiling guest, and there's a segment where animals get brought out, usually to talk about some sort of ecological relief effort.

So you're watching your trash TV talk show late at night, and you get to watch billionaire pretty boy Bruce Wayne be begrudgingly talked into holding a (relatively) harmless creature which inevitably gets a lot of delighted shrieks from the audience as it starts being a lot more active than the handler promised. And to his credit, Bruce doesn't flinch, he doesn't freak out. But his eyes are a little wide, and his voice a little tight as the smile on his face takes on a slight rictus quality before he's inevitably rescued by an apologetic handler who is also laughing because they all know there was no real danger, it was just funny to put Bruce, who is an undeniable good sport and already laughing along, out of his comfort zone for the sake of charity.

Meanwhile, up in the Justice League headquarters, several founding members of the League are wondering how fast they can get a fake Oscar award shipped to the space station because fuck off. Absolutely fuck off, Bruce. Where the fuck did he study? Juilliard? (Probably.)

(Clark ends up going to a novelty store during the commercial break. It's faster than trying to get anything shipped, even with the infrastructure Bats built for them. He finds it several days later taped to his console in a conspicuously empty briefing room. It's gaudy and awful, the words "Best Actor" engraved on the plaque. No one's around to see him smile. No one comments when it vanishes. Everyone thinks it's been yeeted out an airlock. Dick absolutely comments when it shows up in the manor, stashed in one of the trophy cases that sprung up for all the bat kids' school awards. Bruce has no idea how it got there. Must have been Alfred. (It was not.))

Anyway, consider, for your amusement, Bruce Wayne getting highjacked on The Gotham Toight Show with a handful of wriggling puppies and, for a split second, not having to pretend he's delighted to be there.

the best fanfic is the one the author had fun writing actually.

I cannot be stopped. Here's another piece of fanart for @st-whalefall ! Who needs exam prep when you have characters in distress.

Bruce, busting in: WHERE IS HE.

*Batfam proceeds to tear down the entire GIW in epic cross country road trip full of red herrings, false leads, cold leads, and emotional breakdowns*

Jason, in Gotham, still forgetting to contact his family: More pancakes?

Danny: Yes please.

Short DPXDC Prompts #657

It was supposed to be a basic bust. Get in, beat up the goons, alert the GCPD of the illegal goods, get out.

This bust wasn’t the same. The strange men in the white suits overwhelmed Nightwing and Red Hood and knocked them out. Nightwing woke up still in the warehouse. Red Hood however, was gone.

Red Hood didn’t know what these Ghost Investigation Ward guys wanted him for but a sinking feeling in his gut said that it wasn’t for anything good

For @st-whalefall from chapter seven of their story In the Hall of the Mountain King. Dialogue taken straight from their story. It's a really amazing read!