Anxieties! Attack!

Alfred: You are homeless right now? Please, stay with me.

Danny: I couldn't take up your time. I've hardly given you the time! I've never paid my child support, I'm a horrible father, I couldn't possibly take anything from you.

Alfred: If we're taling about time given, I am over a hundred years old. That seems like plenty of time to me.

Danny: Only a hundred?! Baby! My baby boy, I can't believe I abandoned my baby!

Bruce, quietly watching and losing his shit in the background:

DC X DP Prompt

Danny, on a time mission for Clockwork, drags an injured Alfred Pennyworth across the Beach to safety on D-Day. While performing first aid, Danny gets clipped by a bullet, but hopped up on adrenaline, he doesn’t notice and his blood, imbued with ectoplasm, comes into contact with Alfred’s wounds.

80 years later, on the run from the GIW and his parents, Danny runs to Gotham where he meets a surprisingly spry 100 year old man, not looking a day over 60.

Phantom shows up sometime later and Val tries to shoot him. Given that it looks like a teenager, people who don't like it when kids get hurt (some of the villains have ethical codes, so there's at least some in that group) are extremely alarmed. Phantom ducks into an alley. Out of it ducks Danny.

Val is highly offended, Phantom KIDNAPPED he friend/(ex)boyfriend?!! Cue monologue.

Danny is just quietly wandering around, looking at the JL and villains. Sometimes he stares right into their eyes for a minute. It's highly uncomfortable. Sometimes he sniffs them. It's very weird. When he's done with his examination, he takes out his phone and starts scrolling.

Val eventually takes a deep breath, and asks what Danny is doing there. Danny says that Phantom thought that he had a better chance of convincing Val to come with them back home. Val argues that she can't until she knows who the heroes are. Danny declares that he knows which are the heroes and which are the villains.

Everyone is gobsmacked. This kid, from wandering around and looking at people, knows who's who? Everyone is sweating, hero and villain alike. Danny tucks his phone into his pocket and starts pacing.

"So, the majority of heroes generally have emblems on their costumes, but as both groups have it, and yes there are definitely groups, look at who the glance at and angle themselves towards, it is not a definitive marker. So! We must turn towards a different source. Colour theory! Looking at the overall group formations, the majority of people wearing bright colours are that group," Danny indicated the heroes, "while the others," he indicated the villains, "have a darker colour scheme. That, of course, is not enough to go off of. After all, tall dark and scary over there," Danny indicated Batman, "Wears almost entirely black and gray despite being part of the bright colour group. There is one factor, that I believe all of you failed to consider," Danny stopped his pacing and paused.

Silence reigned in the torn streets. "What is it?" Val asked.

Danny pulled out his phone again, unlocked it, and held up the screen. "Google search of this world's heroes. It turned up a Justice League which is made up of individual heroes who've come together to protect this planet. These," he gestured widely to the colourful medley that made up the Justice Leauge, "Are the heroes,"

Everyone's breath is held as they watch Val's reaction. She turns towards the heroes. "I'm sorry for attacking you, I didn't know who was who. Danny, could you please start untying them?" They release a collective breath.

Danny moved towards Batman first, who stood up and showed that his ropes were already untied. Danny moved towards a different hero and started helping them instead while Batman started to untie others.

"What about the cops, Danny?"

Danny turned towards Val.

"Acab,"

DP x DC Prompt that struck my brain in a funny way #9

Valerie Gray did not notice the portal in front of her. She really should’ve paid more attention when chasing Phantom through the Ghost Zone. She just had to know what he did with those ghosts after he caught them, but she probably should’ve tried a more stealthy approach to it. She would’ve rather talked with him than be in the situation she’s currently in.

Which is being stuck in another world with superheroes and supervillains that are currently fighting each other and she’s been dropped right on the outskirts of this battle. So what does she do?

Dive in headfirst of course, shooting at literary everyone in a desperate attempt to figure out who the hell the superheroes are. Probably not the best way to figure it out, but she has no idea what else to do.

Everyone else is just as confused as Val is when she shows up out of nowhere and decides everyone’s an enemy to her.

In a dimension with Fentons (doesn't matter which one), the IRS made a multilayered magic contract that banned the Fentons from ever having to pay their taxes and, by extension, be the IRS's problem. This magic contract transcends dimensions. This is good for Danny and terrifying for everyone else.

you’ve inspired me so here’s a thing you can do whatever with cause I got a migraine and lost my train of thought

so Danny’s working the bar at the iceberg lounge and notices more people are stress drinking, even the Big Names and asks what’s up only to find it’s ✨Tax Season✨

Danny: oh I always forget about that

someone: (aghast) you don’t pay your taxes

Danny: *shrugs* I’m not allowed to pay taxes

wtf does that mean, is he exempt, someone asks but no Danny explains that the first and only time he tried to pay his taxes he received a full refund and a cease and desist order

word gets around and not even the joker want to mess with Danny because what kind of a monster can scare the irs

(This is actually an inherited problem from his parents)

"What did you just say?" Danny looks up from where he is mixing drinks. Across from him is a purple suit-wearing clown- he hates clowns, so he was attempting not to make eye contact- whose whole white face is twitching slightly.

Danny blinks slowly, using every ounce of self-control to not give in to the urge to reach across the bar and slap him. After a moment, he answered, "I always forget tax season."

"You're crazy enough to take on the IRS?" The clown's jaw drops. "I mean Batman, sure, I understand that, but the IRS?"

Danny frowns. "I don't take them on. I don't have to do my taxes."

"How?" A man in a suit covered in question marks demands from further down the bar.

He shrugs his shoulders a little. "I tried it once, but they sent me a full refund and a cease and desist order. They only remind me that I cannot file taxes now."

"Prove it," A man covered in scales hisses.

Danny grabs a rag, using it to clean off the lemon juice. He reaches into his apron pocket, pulling out a folded-up letter. He could have left it in his locker, but stuff always went missing there. Best to keep his stuff on his person while working. "Sure. Here I have it now. I went to the post office before my shift-hey!"

The lade covered in leaves yanks the letter out of his hand, unfolding it and reading the words as though it wasn't a federal crime. Her voice wavers when she gets to the reminder that the United States of America Internal Revenue Service would not stand another attempt at Daniel Fenton's taxes.

"This can't be real," She scoffs, but there is an underline of worry in her voice that she can't entirely hide.

She turns to a man in a strange white and black suit- like it's evenly split down the middle strange. It matches his face, though; one side is gorgeous, and the other is deformed. "This isn't real, is it Two-Face?"

Two-face takes the paper from her hand, carefully reading the words before pulling out his phone and typing away. After a few seconds, he pauses, then gasps. "It's real. My boys just confirmed the Tax ID number. He is not legally allowed to do taxes."

"Holly Molly, you're insane," the clown gasped, backing out of the seat while pointing at Danny as though he was the devil. "Stay away from me you lunitic! I'm not messing with the IRS's boogie man!"

He turned tail and ran, leaving behind a stunned Danny, wondering what he could have said to earn that reaction. His parents back home were also ordered to not do their taxes. It's common.

He turns to his other customers, ready to take their order, but they all pale and quickly duck away from him as well.

Strange.

Then, Danny notices the silence that has fallen upon the Iceberg Lounge. Even the music has been cut off as everyone stares at him in disbelief.

He shifts, a little uncomfortable with the stares. Danny has never grown used to attention, no matter how much he craved it as a teenager. He always wanted to be in the It Crowd and be given an official membership to the A-listers, but he grew to understand that the only way they liked seeing him was in pain.

So Danny learned to avoid attention as he could, which wasn't complex as the part of the town's freaks, but the very few mintues someone did pay attention to him something terrible ended up happening.

Dash stuffed him into a locker while classmates laughed and cheered the bully on.

A teacher calling on him just to make him feel stupid.

His parents realized he was slipping in his grades and reminded him that he was a failure to the family's intelligence.

Or some random GIW agent that "banished" him from his Earth, flinging Danny straight across the universe to whatever hellhole Gotham crawled out of.

He barely got this bartending job only a few weeks ago- lying about his age which he thinks his boss doesn't care about- and using a shade of an old bartender to coach him in mixology.

Shades were different from ghosts. For one thing, they were weaker and unable to be seen by regular people. They could not interact with the world and often didn't even know they were dead. If Danny had been able to see them before the portal, he would have known they were the cause of what is commonly known as a "ghost."

They were the myths.

Jeff Ricci is Shade, one who is aware he died. He was killed in a gang shoot-out a few years after he and his sister ran away from an abusive home. They traveled through three states, dodging police and CPS, before they disappeared among Gotham's homeless population.

The pair of siblings survived for a while doing odd jobs for local gangs- things like drug runs or helping them move guns- which is why Jeff was out there the night the fight broke out.

It was an imperfect stroke of luck, the wrong place and time. The two had been doing so well, too. They had both gotten jobs at the Iceberg Lounge, lying about their ages, where Jeff was a dishwasher, and Lucia was a housekeeper.

After hours, Jeff was taught by his coworkers how to properly mix drinks, waiting for Lucia to finish her job. When the two turned eighteen, Lucia became a waitress, and Jeff joined the bar- though if anyone asked or checked their employee records, both were twenty-one.

With better pay and hours, they could rent an apartment, finally gaining a home after three years of homelessness. Jeff had lived in that home for only a month when he accepted a job to buy Lucia some migraine medication and had perished.

Lucia lived on without her twin, broken far more than before, but she still had the apartment and job at the Iceberg Lounge. She was unaware her brother still followed her around, watching her actaully turn twenty-one while he remained eighteen.

That's how Danny met him, a somewhat see-through man casually following one of the prettiest waitresses. He had assumed he was being a creep, but Jeff had been delighted that someone could not only see him but was willing to protect his sister by threatening him away from her.

In exchange for lessons on proper mixing, Jeff asked Danny to keep an eye on his sister. Help her when he could not. It was a fair trade from one younger brother to another.

The shade is currently leaning against the counter beside Danny, staring at him as though Danny was a god. "You scare the Joker. Shit, Danny, I knew you were some kind of Rouge in the making, but to take out heavy hitters like this before your debut!? That's just terrifying! Would you be willing to pay my sister to be your secretary or something? She's a great typer!"

What a strange place Gotham is.

Crab Day

okay, so here's a new info post from the top.

the problem: tumblr is extremely extremely in debt. the current model is not profitable. this is why they are trying to turn the site into a shit clone of every other social media site, so they can attract new users and their money.

solution: not a ton of people can afford a long-term subscriptions like ad-free. however, many of us CAN afford $3 to inflict crabs on another unsuspecting user. (and those that can't, can still enjoy crabs everywhere)

the idea: in the grand traditions of mishapocalypses and goncharovs and tumblr users' obsession with [random inconsequential thing] Days, we create a fund drive/holiday on July 29th, dubbed Crab Day. buy your friends crabs. buy your enemies crabs. blaze posts. post memes. change ur icon. whatever. actually put your money where your mouth is and show @staff that there actually IS profit motive to listen to the current users about what we want this site to look like. (and yes, that means accessibility features too. we currently have zero leverage to demand these features. let's change that.)

i don't know if this will actually go anywhere. worst case scenario, a few of us have fun, tumblr gets a small amount of money, and nothing changes. best case though, we actually provide incentive to keep our stupid hellsite unique.

did this last night

Oh, oh, what it another reason he doesn't express anger as the Captain is because he knows what it's like to be afraid of an adult. He's been the victim of angry adults more than once. And he NEVER wants to be that person.

He never wants anyone to be afraid of him like he was afraid of his uncle/foster parents/police/people who've had to much to drink/etcetera.

He volunteers as Captain Marvel, and one of those places is a soup kitchen. Everytime he hands someone afraid some food with a smile, and gets them to smile back, he's on top of the world. That's what being a hero is to him.

He refuses to ruin that with an ill-timed scowl.

Billy Batson Headcanon.

Billy doesn't express any form of anger in the Captain form. He's scared to. He's scared that he could hurt someone, kill someone, if he isn't careful.

The Justice League see him as a Superman type– Always happy with never ending optimism. Billy is optimistic, yes, but not in the way that he presents to the Justice League. The Captain is 'everything is okay, and everything will keep being okay', whereas Billy is 'everything is f^cked, but we can fix it if we try'.

The Justice League only see flashes of it. A glare when Batman announces spending thousands, if not millions, on improvements for the Watchtower, looks of envy when everyone talks about food and clothes. They think it's because he lives in the Rock of Eternity, and can't have these things.

They don't realise the reason until they finally meet Billy, and realise that he's a literal homeless child.

Everytime he transforms they wonder if this is it. This is the time that he won't come back. This is the time the mark will stay black. Everytime they pray to a god they may or may not believe and hope, not this time. Please don't let this be the time they stay dead.

Ok kinda funny/a bit angsty idea danny has a soulmate mark that shows how your soulmate is doing in the alive injured critical dead sense when the soulmate dies the mark goes black

Now Danny's mark has been through most/all the phases he was a bit worried about the dead part but they came back so he's not that worried

Danny's soulmate on the otherhand a batfam member is freaking the fuck out every single day his soulmate dies amd comes back to life what the hell if wrong with his soulmate that he can keep coming back to life

Basically when danny transforms to phantom his mark registers him as dead and the bat family are freaking out because one of their members soulmate has died like 63 times this week what the hell is up with him

it’s almost that time of the year :)

John is just having a quick talk with Bats about a new curse that has settled over Gotham lately (more of the usual, nothing heinous, more trouble to get rid of it than leaving it would be) when his new 'son' zooms out of his pocket and latches onto Red Hood's helmet.

John is only SLIGHTLY worried for moment that his eldritch baby has decided to be a face eater, but no. He's just clinging to Red Hood's helmet and looking at the vigilante with his oversized wet eyes. And is he purring?

Jason is kind of confused. Wtf is this thing, and why is it on him. Why is the Pit quieter??!

Meanwhile John is wondering how much he needs to offer to put Red Hood on the official baby sitting roster. The kid seems to like him.

DPxDC Prompt

John sees alot in his line of work, the supernatural is like that after all you never know what you will run into. So when he is called for what is essentially pest control he doesn't have high hopes for the gig. It could literally be any number of things, so he grabs a little of everything before he arrives at the location.

It is a planetarium, absolutely OVERRUN but blob ghosts!

John sighs and gets to work funneling the ghosts out of the building and into a portal to the infinite realms. Pretty cut and dry job, which should have been a clue that it was anything but. He doesn't realize he has a passenger until he gets back to the house of mysteries and reaches into his pocket only to get BITTEN.

John makes eye contact with what he can only assume is a baby eldritch monstrosity, it can't even be over a millennium yet, is it even over a century!? oh god it was born in the last decade!

Little baby man Danny has no idea that the man he hitched a rid on would essentially be adopting him in the near future, not that that is a problem, he is still growing into his new form as an Ancient of Space. Wouldn't hurt to have a protector and guardian to look after him in the coming centuries!

Constantine stared. The summoning had worked... mostly. Well he thought it worked?! There was an appropriate amount of glowing, chanting, unexplained cold and the feeling of magic being drawn in, but he had expected...

"Can I help you?" The person-teenager asked, voice slightly muffled from behind the intricate flaming crown completely obscuring their face. It settled on his shoulders, rather uncomfortable looking in all honesty, and tilted funnily, but was still large enough to obscure the child's(?) face except for a tuft of flowing, fluffy white hair.

"Yeah," Constantine replied after a moment. "We're looking for Phantom, King of the Infinite Realms, Pariah's Bane, Twice Savior of the Infinite Realms, bearer of many titles, etcetera," He chewed on his cigarette and tried to act casual. "We tried summonin' him and got you instead. Know why?"

The kid let out a very long sigh, and slumped over where he hovered, crown tilting precariously on his shoulders. "That's cause I'm me. Phantom. That's me. King of the Infinite Realms, person with too many fucking titles. Who are-," The kid paused where he had tilted the oversized crown up to peer out at the League members gathered around the circle, gave a little yip of surprise and dropped the crown back down in front of his face. "The Justice League," the kid squeaked, "I got summoned by the Justice League. Cool, cool, I am being SO normal about this,"

Constantine got the feeling that the kid, Phantom, (a kid whose crown was too big for his head, who still got starry eyed at heroes when by many accounts he was one) was very much not being as cool as he wanted to be.

DPxDC Prompt where Danny gets ghost king summoned by the JL, but it’s one of those “crown too big for he gotdamn head” situations, and not in a way that looks cool.

It’s just completely obscuring his face, sat on his shoulders with tufts of white hair poking out. 

Danny’s only glad they can’t see him blushing (and that he can hide the damn thing when he’s not actively forced to reveal the artifacts by, say, a fucking summoning).