I Don’t WANT A Career. I Want To Cuddle And Sleep And Eat And Read And Create And Love And Be Loved.

Reblog if you're not homophobic

Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad. 

fullmetal alchemist

Nightwing: How'd you know he was the Joker?

Danny: The who?

Nightwing: The crazy killer clown?

Danny: I got to beat up Santa AND a clown? I'd say it's a Christmas Miracle, but then I'd be legally obligated to fight myself for the blasphemy.

The Mall Grinch

Danny dislikes Christmas normally but being allowed to dress up as the Grinch in a mall in Gotham city when he got a holiday job at least made things interesting that year.

Getting to beat up a rouge as the Grinch in character was just the icing on the cake, at least he made one of the bats laugh.

i finished your Danny Phantom + Batfam fic the other night and lemme please tell you how well you wrote it!!! PLUS its that final push for me to watch Danny Phantom finally (after all these years too) so thank you for that :D

I'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks for telling me!

"we live in an uncaring universe"

false. i care very deeply. am i not a part of this infinite universe?

Damian was having a very, very bad patrol. A group of cultists had ambushed himself and Nightwing, and kidnapped them both for a ritual. From what Damian had gleaned, it was a summoning ritual for an entity of ice and snow to bring an eternal winter to the unworthy. Or so they said. And also required a blood sacrifice. Which Damian was.

Damian barely registered Nightwing's shouting from the corner where he had been tied up. They had taken him too so the other Bats had less of a lead. This was highly unfortunate, given that the leader was seemingly nearing the end of the ritual, knife hovering over Damian's chest.

Was this how his brother felt? Before he was killed? Not the same, his brother couldn't have known what was happening. But this dread, this anticipation. Was this what his brother had felt? Before he was stabbed through the chest and discarded into a pool of green?

How ironic that Damian was going to be stabbed through the chest. But there would be no pool of green, only red. At least this time his Father would have a body to bury.

The chanting rose along with the knife. Nightwing screamed. Damian kept his eyes open. He would see his demise. He would not look away.

The knife came down and Damian's vision was consumed by black. There was a choked breath and Damian could no longer hear Nightwing.

Dying hurt less that he thought it would. Then the black in his vision shifted. It was... a person. The black-clad back of a person, sitting up and forcing the cultist to stumble back. Had one of his family arrived in time, only to sacrifice themselves for him?

No, none of his family had pure, glowing white hair. Had the ritual been successful? But the sacrifice had not been completed. The person grabbed the knife and pulled it out of their torso.

There was no spurt of blood as there should have been. Instead, the knife gleamed with dripping bright green. The same toxic green as Lazarus water. The being discarded the knife on the ground, ignoring the cultists and their frantic murmuring and Nightwing's renewed shouting.

They turned around and Damian couldn't breath. He had seen pictures of his father when he was younger in the manner. He had seen what his father looked like at Damian's age, as a teenager, and as an adult. This being, with their Lazarus blood and Lazarus green eyes and his father's teenage face smiled at Damian.

"Hi little brother," They said. "Couldn’t let you get sacrificed, now could I? That's my job, y'know,"

(Danny had gone to Clockwork for answers. Danny had gotten answers. Danny had not been happy with those answers. Clockwork had told him that his little brother was about to be ritualistcally sacrificed, and would Danny like to do something about that? Danny very much would. And Danny did. Time to say hello to his alternate dimension extended family.)

DC x DP: The Real Blood Son

It's a year after Damian came to live with them that he decides it is an excellent time to bombard Bruce with his news.

"I had a blood brother." He says to Tim after the other commented how important blood meant to Bruce-ie, not enough to make him get rid of his other sons. "He was the first from the artificial womb mother made with Father's DNA; however, he was disposed of once his heart condition became known. I highly doubt you will last even twice as long Drake-"

"What"

Bruce didn't know that he could make his voice that cold. That dead. What in the world does he mean disposed.

Damian goes still. The kind of still where he isn't sure if he just earned a punishment and is trying not to react to the fear. "My elder brother. Did mother not inform you?"

"Damian," Bruce struggles to level his tone at Dick's hard stare. "She hadn't even informed me of you. Please, can you explain more about your brother."

The youngest nods. "He had no name, but he was my biological brother. He was forced to grow to age of three before they realized he was defective. Grandfather had him sacrificed to the pit."

Jason growls "what do you mean?"

Damian looks confused- as confused as he can with his league training kicking in. "The Lazarus pit is made from the bodies of young virgins. No older then ten. They are sacrificed in exchange for the Infinite Realms' power to sink into the water. The children are not aware of what is happening to them until the very end. They do not suffer."

Bruce feels sick.

They talk a bit more, on how certain followers throughout history were more then happy to offer the great Ra's their own children to renew the pit. How Damain had watched three children when he was seven be sacrifice- it happened every five years- and how the children were given the best week of their lives.

They purposely given the most joy they could feel before the blades to make the Pit as pure as possible. He talked a lot about watching the youngest- five years- be laughing and splashing in the Lazarus water before his mother cut him down, his screams drowning in the green liquid.

"They say the Pit absorbs the last emotion of the sacrifice. Grandfather hopes the children realize the importance and honor they have to be ended for a glorious cause, but occasionally a few are disloyal. When Todd had taken a dip, the previous Renew, had a brilliant girl who figured out what was happening and attempted to escape. She failed, of course, and her arm was amputated in a mission, but she died angry. That's why Todd had such strong madness compared to-!"

"SHUT UP!" Jason roars suddenly, eyes glowing green, and for a brief moment, Bruce swears he hears an undertone of a young girl in his scream "SHUT UP! YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING! YOUR OWN BROTHER IS IN THERE"

Damain scowls "it's a honor. My brother's body was defective. But he at least had aidded in a glorious ritual."

Bruce can't help it; he leans over the BatCave Railing and hurls his dinner. Damian finally realizes that something is wrong.

They host a funeral for his three-year-old son, who died without a name, and place his gravestone next to his parents. They explain to Damian why the Renewal ritual is horrific but Bruce feels it take years before his son can see that.

Jason, went out into Crime Alley to let off some steam and had been going on a rampage against the underbelly of Gotham. He can't find it I'm himself to stop him.

Bruce asks Constantine to come over and do a small ritual, to hopefully unbound his child and let his son soul move on. Constantine warns that with the kid's name it may not work and that they could only free souls they share blood to but the English man tries anyway.

They send his son their prayers, and hopes. And they try to put him to rest.

Across the Infinite Releams to three dimensions to the right of the Wayne's soul resting ritual, The Fenton's adoptived son, Danny Fenton jolts in his English Class.

The strange stabbing scar above his heart- which is why he never takes off his shirt- burns then cools as if someone had tried to place the temperature-changing ointment. He rubs his best, confused.

What was that?

He'll have to check with FrostBite. Maybe his heart condition is acting up again. It happens every five years even though no doctors his parents have taken him to could figure out what it was.

Until Frostbite. The yeti claimed it had something to do with dark arts, but he's unsure what type.

Frostbite is still doing more testing.

"I wish you had lived, brother. I wish I knew you name"

The wind whispers, and Danny feels a flash of deep longing and grief before it's gone. Yeah, he needs to talk to Frostbite.

Counterargument, forehead kisses, one on each side.

*takes a nasty bite out of burger, munching in bliss and taking a sip of soda out of my straw mid-chew*

You know what would be amazing? If there's this Sleeping Beauty AU where Danny and Kon have to figure between the two of them who kisses Tim (who's sleeping beauty in this case). But when neither of them work, they get dejected because maybe Tim wasn't in love with them after all.

*SLAMS SODA ON TABLE, ACCIDENTALLY SPILLING SOME*

WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW IS THAT THEY NEED TO KISS TIM AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!

*wipes mouth with hand and burps, loudly*

Anyways, that's all I got. *finger guns* Pay my tab for me, will ya? Ciao!

Hey wait! Damn guess I’ll have to steal anon’s fibula when they least expect it. I’m in your walls bucko and I’m comin for you.

Ok this is interesting though so I’ll only steal some sesamoid bones. You don’t need them anyways.

Big question is… would they even figure out that Tim needs to be kissed by BOTH of them?!

Like I’d expect that it takes a few weeks for that realization to happen. Maybe one of the other batfam finds something of Tim’s that describes someone he loves but he uses plurals. That leads to suspicion that they’re doing the wrong approach.

Now the argument is who kisses Tim’s hand and who kisses his mouth.

Crab Day

okay, so here's a new info post from the top.

the problem: tumblr is extremely extremely in debt. the current model is not profitable. this is why they are trying to turn the site into a shit clone of every other social media site, so they can attract new users and their money.

solution: not a ton of people can afford a long-term subscriptions like ad-free. however, many of us CAN afford $3 to inflict crabs on another unsuspecting user. (and those that can't, can still enjoy crabs everywhere)

the idea: in the grand traditions of mishapocalypses and goncharovs and tumblr users' obsession with [random inconsequential thing] Days, we create a fund drive/holiday on July 29th, dubbed Crab Day. buy your friends crabs. buy your enemies crabs. blaze posts. post memes. change ur icon. whatever. actually put your money where your mouth is and show @staff that there actually IS profit motive to listen to the current users about what we want this site to look like. (and yes, that means accessibility features too. we currently have zero leverage to demand these features. let's change that.)

i don't know if this will actually go anywhere. worst case scenario, a few of us have fun, tumblr gets a small amount of money, and nothing changes. best case though, we actually provide incentive to keep our stupid hellsite unique.

Dan: NOBODY MESSES WITH THESE KIDS-

Realizes the teen heroes are Right There.

Dan: Uh, except me. Muahah.

Dan, reformed after three millennia in an isolated time pocket and lots of therapy, decides to try being a hero again.

Only, he's not very good at it. He looks fucking terrifying, and when people see him they tend to run towards the actual danger to get away.

So he's hanging out, invisible, on a random cities rooftop, when a pair of kid vigilantes plop down and start complaining how their mentors don't trust them ecause they haven't had any real combat experience. But to get experience, they need to be out there!

So while these teenagers plan something monumentally stupid, Dan realizes he has a unique opportunity.

Dan becomes a training villain.

A villain that specifically is meant to test kid vigilantes.

He does stupid, petty villain shit and the adult heroes quickly realize that this villain, instead of hurting their kid sidekicks, is teaching them between blows.

Dan's powers are nothing to sneeze at, so a kid vigilante holding their own against him for at least four minutes is considered impressive.

But he never, ever, hurts the kids.

There was an incident where another villain hurt a kid in front of Dan.

No one knows where that villain is.

@simplestoryteller