Ok, So Since I'm A Huge Language Nerd I Decided To Translate All The Ancient Hyrulean Tablets In Totk

ok, so since i'm a huge language nerd i decided to translate all the ancient hyrulean tablets in totk best i can from middle english into modern english! for anyone interested they are under the cut :)

Account of a Celebration

So sweet the song of King Rauru, and so great the beauty of his sister's dance, that were my eyes and ears captive.

And so gracious Queen Sonia's gaze on us all, so felt I my heart as captive fallen.

Servant's life, though much laboursome, has much jollity as well. Long be the life of the royal family that I love so.

The Strong Queen and the Receptive King

Sonia, queen to Hyrule's king, was born a Hylian priestess, herself born of land, not of sky above.

Spoke she with open heart, earnest to all, even to the Zonai's king.

This king thought it a good advantage to learn of the land's folk. To see his head bent to listen is such pleasantness.

The Harmonious Couple

Oft wise Rauru, king of keen blade, waives his real work in favor of the hunt.

And oft clever Sonia, queen of keen insight, seeks him out and repairs this king to kingly business.

In her sapience seems she divine, that she ever can find him, and for his folly seems he the more human.

And the king? Oh, he laughs. Not him her equal for her wit, he knows. And the queen, she laughs too, even as she scolds.

A Pilgrimage of Light

The king was late in coming this evening, so made the queen to share tales of her land, of shrines all green glowing.

Of early days since Hyrule's founding have diverse monsters her realm besieged and assailed.

Unceasing in strife, they brought to despair folks' lives. King and queen set themselves to bring the scourge to an end.

With might of light and power, they were driven back, and the royal couple made these shrines to seal them away.

These holy seals were called Shrines of Light.

Great king, great queen, I thank you. You fought when I was a maiden-child, that I could come to know.

The Researcher Mineru

Clever Mineru, the king's elder sister, falls so deep in her books such that she oft forgets to eat.

In my worried way I've done what much I can, but so far it has been to little avail.

Of late speaks she of "constructs," things she did make with her hands as a vessel for spirit when body fails.

So, said she, might she live long, in spirit housed within this "construct."

Though Mineru seems not to hold any deceit… By my faith, I cannot believe these words as truth.

The Foreign Princess

Full fine is the weather this morn, and have I audience with this princess said to be kin by far distant years to queen Sonia.

By grace has she been given a name most sweet, of Zelda she is called.

In certain folk stirred suspicion, for strange were her garments and sudden were her appearance.

Yet would her countenance and bearing make proof of her right blood and bond to queen Sonia.

As Zelda is to remain for a while with us, I will extend an offer of myself as housemaid in her service.

The Free-Spirited Zelda

Princess Zelda recently comes to see Mineru, the king's elder sister. I come too, to serve her.

Today it came to pass that Mineru showed to Zelda the greatest construct I have seen.

Zelda, she much desired to ride on it, and nothing I could say could stop her. Though I did protest. Loudly.

Nevertheless she made to sit high upon the construct's shoulders and to ride it like a horse, all full of grace.

My admiration, so great already, did grow all the more.

The Latest Trend

Fashion now favors garments adorned with mushroom patterns, and far and wide are they worn.

This taste for mushrooms comes of the castle's seamstress, who sought to sew clothes to please princess Zelda.

This fashion, Zelda told the seamstress, was in her true home well-loved.

In her time everyone wore patterns of bright hues, in the shape of mushrooms.

Now our handy seamstress set her heart on copying these patterns, which sell to many happy people.

I searched after some for my own, but none could I find.

An Ancient Ghost Story

Of late have I heard it told a strange lady walks around the castle in the dark of night.

She and princess Zelda seem as twins, but this one has not the light in her eyes- more as a dead thing than not.

When she is asked about these walks, princess Zelda does of that remember nothing.

What monster, or spirit of darkness, is this vision? So afraid I am of my imaginings that I cannot sleep.

For the Hero's Sake

Since her founding has Hyrule seen such hardship, but that is only a small moment of time.

Mineru, the king's elder sister, says of this kingdom that it must not be caught unaware, not even in the far future.

Princess Zelda tells her that this future is wrought already, that a champion does from the sky come.

Between the two, they made to find a way to help this champion in that distant time.

Hear my vow, sought they to raise up the Temple of Time, into the sky to ward it against evil.

All done so in far distant day, our kingdom might be saved.

In my heart I know I must help, and I asked of Mineru, can you devise the means to raise up in the sky these stones.

My words are not enough, but they save these memories, of the royal family, high in the sky for that future time.

The Day the Land Rose

Such a wondrous sight I have beheld that it cannot justly be described.

The Temple of Time I saw, and all land holding it, risen to the sky, both fearful and majestic.

As princess Zelda told me, in far distant future comes a champion to that place, the hope that saves Hyrule.

For that champion is it that I inscribe these great stones.

The king's elder sister, Mineru, sends now these stones to the sky, that the champion might read them.

A Parting Resolve

Rauru, Hyrule's king. Sonia, her queen. His elder sister, Mineru. And too Princess Zelda.

All whom I served, and loved. All whom are gone. Alone carve I these words upon this stone.

This stone, and all thirteen, serve as the royal family's record, my final work, full-wrought for all time.

Many the mark made by these much-beloved people - some seen, some unseen.

When I make remembrance of her marks, feel I a flame of hope, though small, within me.

It is as though these marks describe some grand design.

I cannot match princess Zelda in her love for her land. What more then, ask I, can I do for Hyrule's people.

Let my life lead me henceforth for a worthy answer to this question.

I love Skizzleman

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1 year ago

Grace Chasity and Max Jaegerman are what Harley Quinn and the Joker wish they could be

max wanting to cuddle for a bit makes me to think, maybe he could be a little into her actually. like i think they could be a fun murder couple who are slightly toxic but also are ride-or-die.

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11 months ago

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1 year ago

People who try to analyze what happened on Tumblr on November 5th, 2020, often really overstate how much it was actually “about” Supernatural. As someone who has never been in the supernatural fandom ever but dID join in on the hysterical destielposting—it was really more about the stress of the pandemic and the 2020 presidential election.

The two biggest Youtubers I’ve seen try to dissect “what happened that November 5th” in video essays both weren’t American—- and I think that explains why they both tried to explain the hysteria primarily via analyzing the Supernatural fandom/the original show, rather than through the lens of the election. And while those videos are cool, valid, informational, and make lots of really well-considered interesting points— I can tell you that me and almost all my mutuals had literally no knowledge or interest in the fact that “oh supernatural had made nods at the ship in the past but the creators were adamant that I wouldn’t be canon” or etc etc etc etc. the first time I learned about any of that context was way later, watching videos where people claimed that fandom history context (that I did not know anything about) was the actual reason for the hysteria.

But the reality is that people latched on to the Destiel stuff because it was a piece of big useless inane zero-stakes fandom news in a time when we were desperately waiting for serious high stakes election news. We were latching onto a “positive “ piece of inane stupid fandom news in a time of great stress, with all the desperation of a drowning man who latches onto whatever piece of wood will keep him afloat.

The core of the hysteria was that Americans (who make up a huge chunk of tumblr’s userbase) were currently glued to their laptops watching the live presidential election vote counts come in. These vote counts were taking an extended amount of time due to the pandemic causing high numbers of mail-in ballots, resulting in a constant state of Election Day Stress for multiple days straight.

This was also during the height of the Pandemic. People had predicted Trump’s presidency would be bad; no one had predicted it would be this apocalyptically bad. No one had predicted pandemics and lockdowns and hospitals overflowing with bodybags. remember Trump spreading Covid lies and conspiracies?? There were so many Qanon conspiracies about democrats being Satanic child traffickers who had to be put to death, and coup threats were mounting from the right wing side. It seemed like this election was a choice between ‘centrist democrat’ and “apocalyptic right wing conspiracy theory authoritarianism,” in the midst of pandemic conditions that people feared would never ever improve— and it seemed like a close election.

Another major point was that Trump voters were more likely to be antimaskers/Covid deniers, while Biden voters were more likely to take the pandemic seriously— so Biden voters were more likely to send in mail-in ballots instead of risking the in-person voting crowds, which meant their ballots would take much longer to count. And so, in many state electoral vote counts, it would initially seem like Trump was very far in the lead— only for Biden to slooooowly build up an agonizingly small lead as the mail in ballots came in, and then defeat Trump at the very end.

So you’re just watching these news sites giving live election updates, refreshing the page every 2 minutes to see if you’re going to live under a spineless centrist democrat or a literal Qanon Dictatorship. And then you go on tumblr to distract yourself, and there’s more election posting, and more agonizing over the votes, and more stress and despair—-

And then it’s been days and we’re right at the crucial tipping point where it’s anyone’s game and the next few hours will determine whether Trump will win, so you need to keep your eye on the vote count, because the next hours will determine the future of the pandemic and your country and your plans for your entire life—

And then stupid Destiel becomes canon! And it becomes canon in the silliest way possible!

If Destiel had become canon at any other time, it would have been a big goofy tumblr celebration? But we wouldn’t have gotten the insane explosion of hysterical interaction.

The entire core of it was the contrast between the inane meaningless stupidity of fandom news vs the actual stressful election news you wanted to hear! It really is best conveyed in that meme where Castiel says “I love you” and Dean indifferently responds with a piece of important election news.

It’s about the contrast between the low-stakes inanity of fandom and the massive life-destroying stakes of a terrifying election. There really was no reason it had be Supernatural specifically, except that Supernatural was a thing everyone knew basic things about from dashboard osmosis— it could’ve been any other equally huge silly fandom ship news about a ship everyone *knew of* but might not necessarily be invested in (ex. Stucky becoming canon, Johnlock becoming canon, Kirk/Spock becoming more canon somehow, etc etc etc.)

I think it’s true that people who weren’t paying agonizingly close attention to the American election news got swept up in it, and that non American Supernatural fans also were extremely excited for purely fandom reasons — but the entire reason it blew up to an unprecedented degree was because of that core of stressed out terrified Americans glued to their computers watching election results and suddenly receiving stupid fandom news instead, and deciding to just hysterically parodically hyper-celebrate this absurd useless zero-stakes news.

meme: what if you wanted to know the election results but God said 'destiel is canon'

I think it was also all elevated by the fact that, as I said before, this happened at the crucial “tipping point” of the election where the next few hours would determine the winner. The fact that Biden began to slowly develop a lead in the hours after made it feel, hysterically, as if the hours after Destiel became canon was somehow the turning point where he began to win; so celebrating Destiel felt like celebrating that slow turn towards victory.

The tl,dr is that it’s so important to Remember the Fifth of November …..in preparation the inevitable hysteria that will happen in the presidential election on November 5th of next year. XD. Personally I’m rooting for Johnlock or Frodo/Sam to somehow become canon in the eleventh hour right before the democrats win

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10 months ago

reblog to take a bite out of this styrofoam cup nobody can stop you go ahead and do it