hiiiii
i should be banned from posting after 10pm. bad things happen in the evening when i am given free reign of the tumblr. Doing psychological warfare on my mutuals enjoy the mess that is. Me.
"Didn't know they were dating" is slowly but surely becoming one of my favorite tropes. What do you mean, these two characters who are soulmates haven't actually been in a long-term relationship like everyone thought? What do you mean they didn't know? Everyone knows!
Some idiot: "Why are you reading your own fic, that's shallow and stupid"
All fanfic writers and writers everywhere: "Who the fuck do you think I wrote it for?!"
"I can't help it."
"Simply impossible."
"Just don't look back."
"I'm not looking at you."
"Then stop being so cute."
"How am I looking at you?"
"Why? Does it bother you?"
"Can't take my eyes off of you."
"Sorry, but it will happen again."
"How would you like me to look at you?"
All the Dialogue Responses can be found here.
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feeling homesick for a version of life that doesn’t exist anymore
These are the kind of secrets, that keep your character up at night. The kind that twist their decisions, poison their relationships, and build a wall between who they are and who they pretend to be.
» They think they ruined someone’s life, and no one knows.
It wasn’t murder. It wasn’t obvious. But maybe they said the wrong thing. Maybe they didn’t show up when it mattered. Maybe they walked away and something irreversible happened. No one connects the dots. But they do. Every day.
They smile like everything’s fine. They help people. But underneath? They’re trying to atone for something they never confessed.
» They don’t believe they’re capable of being truly loved.
They might flirt. They might date. They might even say “I love you” like it’s nothing. But they don’t believe it when it’s said back. They think people are just being kind. Or delusional. Or lying. It doesn’t matter how good they are—it never feels like enough. So they self-sabotage. Quietly. Strategically. Like clockwork.
» They’re living a life that’s not theirs.
Maybe they took someone’s spot, figuratively or literally. Maybe they’re fulfilling someone else’s dream, wearing someone else’s name, carrying someone else’s story. They were supposed to say no. Walk away. Be honest. But now it’s too late. Too deep. Too tangled. So they pretend this version of their life is real. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.
» They’ve buried a part of their identity because it was safer.
Their queerness. Their culture. Their belief system. Their softness. Their rage. At some point, they decided—this part of me makes people leave. So they buried it. Cut it off. And now they move through life like a shadow of who they were supposed to be. They blend. They perform. But deep down, something sacred is starving.
» They still love the person they say they hate.
They’ll deny it. They’ll joke. They’ll talk sh*t with a smile. But the truth? They never really let go. And they never will. It’s in the way their voice shakes. The way they remember the smallest detail. The way they get weirdly quiet when that person’s name comes up. Love laced with bitterness is still love. That’s what makes it so hard.
» They’ve hurt someone on purpose—and never apologized.
It was calculated. Or maybe impulsive. But they knew what they were doing. And they did it anyway. Now they pretend it didn’t matter. They laugh it off. “We all make mistakes,” right? But in the quiet moments, it haunts them. They remember the look in that person’s eyes. They remember the moment they chose cruelty. And they hate themselves for it.
» They think they’re a bad person deep down.
They might be kind. Loyal. Brave. But they’re convinced it’s a performance. A mask. That underneath all the good, they’re something rotten. Unforgivable. Wrong. So they wait. For the slip-up. For the fallout. For someone to finally say it out loud: “I knew you were never really good.”
» They’re still shaped by something they pretend didn’t happen.
That thing? The trauma? The grief? The shame? They’ve never talked about it. Maybe they’ve blocked it out. Maybe they minimize it. But it’s everywhere—in the way they react to conflict, touch, silence, love. They don’t think it matters anymore. But it does. It always has.
» They dream of leaving. But never will.
Every day, they imagine packing a bag. Burning it all down. Starting over. But they stay. Because of guilt. Obligation. Fear. They smile while doing the right thing. But in the back of their mind, they’re screaming. They’ve built a prison out of choices that looked noble on paper.
» They’ve built a whole personality around keeping people from seeing who they really are.
The loud one. The chill one. The one who always makes the plans or always fixes the mess or always has a snarky comeback. It’s not fake. But it’s not all there is. They’ve decided that the real them? The soft, scared, selfish, angry, insecure them? Can’t be loved. So they keep the performance airtight. But some part of them still hopes someone will see through it anyway.
"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there
i hope i never stop learning. i want to always be studying. the goal is to attain a level of disgustingly educated.
writing is hard but coming up with a cunty title and catchy summary will slay even god's strongest soldier
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