small rant 🤏: types of men in genshin i find ridiculously annoying and attractive
pt. 1
the alhaitham type: knows you want him but pretends he doesn't notice or care because he's above all that jazz. sulks on the inside if you stop swooning over him tho or don't show it as much. secretly wants you to send him love letters sprayed with your perfume (to which he will jerk off). Will give you the cold shoulder and speak with even less words than usual, convincing himself he's not hurt by your lack of attention. after many months will randomly realise you've probably figured he has no interest and are trying to respect that. what tf does he do now? can't just start sending you flowers, that's so not him. going to cyno for advice (for kaveh not him) was not very productive. took cyno twice as long to grasp what has happened and by the time he was about to say it all seems too trivial to him, alhaitham had lost his patience and left. next time he sees you he'll just tell you " like obviously I like you and you didn't get that so you've to work on your perception skills - welcome btw. so now that you know, I'm going back to my research. don't try to hold my hand next time you see me, i will slap it away"
reasons that's annoying: he knew that you both share mutual attraction for each other but has the emotional availability of a rock therefore took him months to do smth about it. he thinks you're his gf after that speech btw.
reasons that's attractive: he's hot.
✨✨✨
the Kazuha type (i swear I'll die after writing this): has absolutely no idea that you like him. wouldn't realise you like him even if you told him that you're into him like with the actual words "i. like. you." love for him is living his life in harmony, taking his time to follow the course of life the way it is without outer forces meddling with that balance. relationships seem too possessive and engaging to him so he's automatically excluded them as a topic of contemplation. love equals freedom. can't grasp that someone might love him without wanting to capture him. all your hints go over his head until beidou nudges him in the right direction. only then did he start to notice your interest, but that triggered a whirlpool in his heart and stomach and he felt as if he had to flee. best way to cope is pretend it's not there so he doesn't have to hurt your feelings directly and ruin your friendship. doesn't cross his mind it might be selfish, because that's the way of life for him. eventually you'd realise he's not into you and would drop your feelings choosing not to be resentful for something that was never yours. what could change his mind is if you ever manage to stroke his heart where he has forgotten it hurts.
reasons that's annoying: avoidant as fuck. a lot of patience and quiet selfless dedication is needed to break through all that built up fear (of abandoning his freedom). that's not helping someone face their trauma, that's making it worthwhile to see another perspective of life (but your talking buddy majors in philosophy so gl)
reasons that's attractive: the loyalty you'll receive once you're through will be unshakeable. and he's also hot & charming which is a disgusting combo (extremely rude, kazuha!)
more genshin
Step 2 confession. Do you ever think about how this must have looked like for their classmates? For them it would've been like, the two love-dorks that have been pining for each other for FIVE years suddenly return to school holding hands after just one random summer.
YEAH
like assuming the school goes up from grade school to middle, everyone knows abt your lil love story
and ofc they're all teasing you, which sucks for cove either way. bc if he's cold, he mainly sticks to you. and if he's warm/ in between, his other friends tease him for running to you.
omg... imagine you're in school, and you let him rest his head on your shoulder while you read a book or smth
if you're seen holding hands at any point.... it's an uproar OMG IMAGONE HOLDING HANDS UNDER THE DESK N SOMEONE BENDS DOWN TO PICK UP A PENCIL N HIT THE TABLE WHILE SCREAMING ABT U HOLDING HANDS.....
okay maybe ik I just had shitty teachers but I imagine some of the more bitter, evil teachers will try to keep you two apart. some will be like "its good for you! you should make friends!"
especially to cove, and puts the same pressure on you if you're nervous and reserved.
omg. imagine someone confesses to you or him, well if it's you cove is all "oh..." *twiddles thumbs*
he explodes when u tell him u said no bc you like someone else/are seeing someone (if you say boyfriend he screams n eventually hugs u to hide his face)
if it's him, he flounders ofc but he does say no and that he likes you very much. if they're persistent then eventually he yells that he's dating you.
yeah. no matter what he like snaps.. middle of class? lunch room? after-school pickup? yeah he'll say it in front of anyone n everyone somehow
OK im... not ngl I was just gonna agree w you n ramble a bit but I'm spiraling LOL
but imagine you get into high school, ofc some kids you knew will be there and eventually it'll spread around your high school as well
THERES PRBLY PICS TOO... say like during group songs or events, or group photos, etc. there's a 50/50 chance cove is looking at you, or you him.
omg imma have to make a whole post on school hc's... pls this is so juicy
OH MY GOD WHEN TEACHERS KNOW YOURE DATING...
"hey no handholding!" cove would jump 10ft and blush n hide his face
wrapping an arm around one another? a teacher is chastising you or pulling you apart (PLS I HAD THAT HAPPEN TO ME, I CANT RMBR HER NAME BUT LISTEN HERE MS.PRINCIPAL YOU WERE FUCKING UP MY RIZZ!!!)
omg. cove tries to rizz you all the time, no matter how minor. he just wants to be close to you ok n sometimes he's not above a lil PDA he can't help it sometimes
I imagine you definitely get caught tryna kiss too. don't let it be by your classmates or a loud mouth teacher who rats u out in front of the students or other teachers YOU NEVER LIVE IT DOWN
bruh now I wanna go to school w cove.. I'd rizz him up so bad too, he'd have to walk to math class w a blush on his face and hearts popping off him bc you've given him the Fattest kiss or flirted w him all lunch n he's LOVING IT
Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC
Rating: PG
Word Count: 3.2K
Summary: request [paraphrased]: "Rivals-to-lovers Sebastian and MC use a Time-Turner to travel to the future with Ominis in search for a cure for Anne. Instead they find a girl who's the spitting image of MC trying to sneak into the Restricted Section in the 1910s, only she has freckles like Sebastian..."
the 'verse continues in "the train ain't even left the station" [AO3]
“Anne-Marie Sallow!” she calls out. “Just where do you think you’re going?” At once, the three of you freeze. “Did she say ‘Sallow?’” hisses Ominis. “Did I hear that right?” “I – no. No,” Sebastian stammers. “There’s no way that’s what she said.”
“Can you please remind me again why I’m even a part of this harebrained scheme?” you ask for at least the third time.
You’re crouched around a small table in one of the far corners of the upper section of the Library. It’s well past curfew, but since you aren’t technically breaking any rules by avoiding the Restricted Section, you’re currently getting away with your loitering, as do most students who are caught studying after hours this close to final exams.
Only, you’re not studying. You’ve been summoned there by Ominis, who despite being your closest friend at Hogwarts is also a conniving, duplicitous liar who neglected to tell you that this whole thing is Sebastian’s idea.
You watch warily as he turns over a contraband Time-Turner in his hands, inspecting its impossibly small dials and knobs. The golden sands inside the hourglass hypnotically shift back and forth while he reads over its inscriptions and consults the guidebook he’d smuggled out of the Restricted Section earlier that same day.
You have no idea where he managed to get the device – perhaps in one of those vaults along the coast in Cragcroftshire that he’d been exploring during the summer term. However, now he’s got it in his head that perhaps the reason you haven’t been able to heal Anne is that the cure to her curse simply hasn’t been invented yet. Therefore, a quick jaunt several years into the future ought to reveal a way to rid Anne of her illness (and maybe even earn his way back into her good graces).
It’s not the first ludicrous and impractical idea he’s had in the past year, nor will it be the last, but it’s certainly one of the more radical ones.
“Merlin’s beard, I’ve already told you,” Sebastian sighs. “Since we’re going forward in time rather than back, this is an unauthorized use, and in case we get stuck in the future, we might need your ancient magic.”
“So I’m an insurance policy?!” you demand.
“Not so much for Sebastian as for me,” Ominis answers plainly. “He thinks he’s got it all sorted out, but I’m not as sure.”
“I know what I’m doing,” Sebastian interjects.
You huff and roll your eyes. “Need I remind you that using a Time-Turner to go forward is expressly forbidden by the Ministry? It’s only to go back.”
“Loads of people have done it, though,” he argues. “I’ve been reading all about it, it’s well-documented.”
“And they’ve all come back to the present?” you demand.
“Yes,” he snaps. “...For the most part.”
You scoff. Unbelievable.
“Do you two honestly think my magic is just an unlimited get-out-of-Azkaban-free pass?” you hiss. “I have no idea how to manipulate time and space. If we get stuck there, we’re stuck there.”
“I’m sure you’ll figure something out like you always do,” Sebastian mutters distractedly as he fiddles with the Time-Turner.
You glance at Ominis pleadingly and he just shrugs.
“You know we can’t let him go alone, we’ll never get him back,” Ominis reasons.
“Is that such a bad thing?” you grumble.
Sebastian shoots you a warning look before he holds up the Time-Turner for the both of you to inspect.
“I have it set to jump forward twenty years,” he explains. “We’ll have to get cozy before we go, as we’ve all got to be wearing it. Physically, we’ll land precisely where we are now, at the same time of day.”
“What if the layout of the Library changes?” you ask skeptically.
“The castle hasn’t changed in centuries,” Ominis points out. “Compared to its history, two decades is indeed quite short.”
“...Fine,” you finally mumble. “Go on, then. Let’s get this over with.”
The three of you stand in a tight circle in a spot tucked away behind some shelves, hoping to remain hidden there after you make the jump forward in time. Sebastian drapes the thin gold chain connected to the Time-Turner around the three of you; it even seems to stretch and extend in length to fit. Then he murmurs a brief incantation to the enchanted timepiece and spins the innermost piece a whopping twenty times.
Your stomach lurches while it turns over and the world around you seems to spin out of control, almost like one of those Muggle carousel rides you saw once as a child. You can barely make out years and years of students and professors walking around you – through you, even – and countless books sliding on and off the shelves until everything comes to a sudden halt and you fall straight to the floor.
Ominis and Sebastian tumble with you, winded.
“That felt bizarre,” Ominis wheezes. “Where are we? Did we travel anywhere?”
“N-no,” Sebastian breathes. “Everything else just… traveled around us.”
You glance around the Library and see that as Ominis had suggested, it looks largely the same. There are some newer books among those you recognize on the shelves, their spines less creased and dyed with more vibrant colors than those of your time.
One title jumps out at you: Advances in Practical Conjuring, 1900-1910
We’re in the 1910s, you think bewilderedly. We’re in a new century.
Mercifully, the layout of the library seems to be largely unchanged. Rows and rows of dimly lit stacks stretch along the length of the grand room with two winding spiral staircases leading down to the lower level.
Once you catch your breath, the three of you cast Disillusionment on yourselves and huddle together to make your way downstairs to the Restricted Section. Ominis leads the way with his wand extended to search for any lingering students or restless ghosts, having long since proven that his spatial awareness bests both yours and Sebastian’s even without his sight.
Your trio makes it downstairs and past the first row of shelves before Ominis stops in his tracks. Sebastian collides with him and then you knock into Sebastian, causing you both to hiss some choice words at each other.
“What’s going on?” you demand in a whisper.
“Someone just came in,” Ominis explains. “The librarian is at the desk and she hasn’t noticed, but a student is coming down the stairs.”
Sure enough, across the room you see a faint flicker of light and can just barely make out the outline of a small student sneaking down the main stairs – must be a young one, you think, no more than thirteen.
“I think it’s a girl,” you offer. “I can see her just over there.”
“What’s she doing?” Sebastian whispers.
“I’m not sure yet,” Ominis says carefully. “She’s past the desk, the librarian didn’t see – oh, for Merlin’s sake.”
“What is it?” you breathe.
“She’s going straight for the Restricted Section,” Ominis mutters. “Just our luck, I suppose.”
The three of you remain crouched behind the shelf while you watch the girl creep ever closer to your hiding spot. You’re panicking inside your head, wondering what possible seams of the universe might immediately be torn to shreds if she were to spot the three of you, but thankfully she seems single-minded in her mission to gain access to the locked collection of books across the room from you.
“She’s tiny,” Sebastian snorts. “I suppose the young ones are even more bold in the future.”
“Weren’t you about her age when you first started to sneak into the Restricted Section?” Ominis reminds him.
Sebastian insists, “No, I was fourteen. I didn’t go in until Anne was attacked. She’s got to be twelve at most, maybe even a first year.”
“Will you two be quiet?” you hiss. “She’s going to hear you!”
Across the room, the Disillusioned girl pulls a key out of the pocket of her robes and starts to insert it into the lock. A girl her age wouldn’t have mastered Alohomora yet, you think, nor would it be effective on this kind of lock. You have no idea how she managed to get a copy of the key, however.
“Do you suppose we could just go in after her?” Sebastian proposes. “She’s nearly got it open, we should take advantage of that.”
“Are you mad?” you scoff. “We can’t be in there at the same time, we’ll get caught!”
“So what if some little girl from the future sees us?” Sebastian argues. “Why wouldn’t she believe we’re just students from her time doing our own research?”
But before you can further explain to Sebastian how astonishingly stupid that idea is, the girl across the room gasps softly and drops her key to the floor. In front of her, the lock is glowing red as if it’s searing hot.
That’s a new security development from your time, you think. It’s rather lucky the three of you didn’t discover that the hard way.
Immediately, the young librarian leaps from her seat and hustles across the room to the Restricted Section’s gated entrance much faster than Madam Scribner ever would have.
“Hang on…” you say under your breath. “Is that – that’s Sophronia!”
“Who?” Ominis asks.
“Sophronia Franklin, she’s a fourth-year in our time,” you explain distractedly. “She’s always lingering in the library, of course she takes over for Scribner once we finish school.”
“I know her,” Sebastian chimes in. “Tried to get me to play a game of trivia in exchange for returning a book on curse breaking I’d been waiting for. Rather precocious, I thought.”
You glare at Sebastian and he merely rolls his eyes.
“I didn’t mean it in a flirtatious way, I was referring to her choice in books,” he grumbles. “Merlin, you’re protective of her.”
“She’s a sweet girl,” you murmur, appreciative of the fact that Sebastian can’t see you blushing. Truthfully, you don’t think much about Sophronia these days, other than that she absolutely cannot catch the three of you in her Library as she’ll easily understand what you’re up to.
Before you can try to convince the boys to call it quits and return to the present, Sophronia rounds the corner and the girl’s Disillusionment charm melts away in surprise.
“Anne-Marie Sallow!” she calls out. “Just where do you think you’re going?”
At once, the three of you freeze.
“Did she say ‘Sallow?’” hisses Ominis. “Did I hear that right?”
“I – no. No,” Sebastian stammers. “There’s no way that’s what she said.”
“Apologies, Madam,” you hear the girl say with a cheeky lilt to her voice. “I was just looking for a book for my aunt, that’s all.”
Just then, Sophronia leans down to pick up the dropped key and all three of you catch a glimpse of the young girl’s face. She’s probably around twelve, like Sebastian had guessed, but her face… Merlin, she could be your younger sister.
Her slightly-upturned nose is nearly identical to yours, only she’s got a small smattering of freckles across hers. Then there’s her chin, which juts out just a bit like yours does, and you’re too far away to make out the color of her eyes but you’re positive that they’re almond-shaped just like your own.
Now that you think about it, her hair is tied back like you always did with yours when you were younger – braided with a green bow at the end, only her hair is a rich, warm brown color.
“...Is that you?” Sebastian asks softly. “How. How are you doing this?”
“That’s not me, I’m right here,” you remind him.
“Hold on, what am I missing?” Ominis whispers.
“That girl looks exactly like this one,” Sebastian insists. “She’s got her nose, her eyes, her face shape. It’s like there’s a second-year version of her, standing right across from us.”
“We’re twenty years into the future,” Ominis reminds you both. “...What if she’s your daughter?”
You feel like the room is starting to spin around you again, and you find yourself pitching to the side before Sebastian quickly tugs on your arm and pulls you back behind the shelf.
“Do not go daft on us now,” he mutters. “I don’t care if that is your daughter–”
“She’s your daughter too, you know,” Ominis chimes in. “In case you were wondering.”
“Wh… What?” Sebastian stutters, and Ominis gestures for the two of you to listen in.
“Goodness, Miss Sallow,” Sophronia sighs. “You really are so much like your father, always sneaking into the Restricted Section.”
You watch as the girl puffs up her chest proudly, a mischievous smirk on her face that doesn’t strike you as particularly like you at all – but rather Sebastian.
“I’ll gladly take that as a compliment, Madam Franklin,” Anne-Marie says.
“While I respect that you are both voracious consumers of knowledge, he, like you, had little respect for the rules of the Restricted Section,” Sophronia continues. “I’ll have to ask you to leave until you get permission from a professor for relevant research or turn fifteen.”
Anne-Marie is still arguing with the librarian as she’s being escorted out. “Perhaps if you would just let me borrow the book for a while–”
“I’m afraid I’ll also have to give you detention this time,” Sophronia interjects. “I can’t keep looking the other way simply because I owe your mother a favor. This is the third time this term!”
Anne-Marie huffs and folds her arms. “But my godfather–”
“Your godfather is a very busy man who would undoubtedly appreciate it if you spent more time staying out of trouble,” Sophronia finishes, “than trying to emulate your father. In fact, I think Ominis would agree with me that one Sebastian Sallow in this world is quite enough!”
Well, that certainly clears things up.
Sophoronia marches Anne-Marie up the stairs and out of the library. The three of you, having already forgotten your original mission, put your heads together without a word so Sebastian can drape the Time-Turner around your necks and return you to the present.
You collapse in a heap on the library floor, but this time it’s fully empty – even the librarian’s desk light is extinguished. You sit in silence for a few moments, and you and Sebastian don’t dare look at each other. Eventually you force yourself to stand and offer Ominis a hand up, steadfastly ignoring the other boy.
“So,” Ominis finally says, barely concealing his smile. “When exactly is it, do you suppose, that the two of you fall hopelessly in love with each other?”
You both curse at him at the same time, and Ominis throws back his head and laughs.
“Shout at me all you want, but that little girl is proof that the two of you are destined for each other,” he crows. “Oh, how brilliant!”
“Come now, Ominis,” Sebastian says with a nervous laugh. “You don’t seriously think that girl is, what… our child or something?”
“That’s precisely what I think,” Ominous answers, smirking. “You said it yourself, she looks exactly like her mother.”
“Stop!” you interject. “I’m not anyone’s mother, in case you forgot.”
“Perhaps not yet,” Ominis agrees primly. “I imagine it will be several more years before Sebastian makes you one.”
Sebastian goes deeply red while you sputter indignantly.
“Thats – that’s foul, Ominis,” you insist. “It’s untoward to even be talking about this!”
Sebastian folds his arms and raises an eyebrow. “Really? You’re that offended by the very idea of us having a child together? I’m hurt.”
“W-well, I just meant that we shouldn’t talk about things that haven’t yet come to pass,” you explain nervously. “Besides, all that is years away. Decades, even.”
Sebastian glances sidelong at you, and you wonder if you’re imagining the way he looks you up and down.
“Right,” he says slowly. “It’s not like we know anything for sure, obviously.”
“Of course,” you agree. “...I don’t suppose you have any other family members named Sebastian? Distant relatives, perhaps?”
“Why?” he drawls. “Looking to snag a cousin of mine so I won’t be the one to father your children?”
You shove him right into one of the bookshelves, but he laughs like he doesn’t regret it one bit.
“Now now,” Ominis murmurs. “You ought to be kind to your future husband, you don’t want to damage his virility.”
“I have half a mind to put a dent in Sebastian’s virility right here and now to save me some trouble later,” you reply, casually aiming your wand at his groin.
“Have you gone mad?!” he stammers as he takes several steps backward. “Put that thing away!”
“Oh, will you please relax?” you sigh. “We just saw one of your descendants, your ability to procreate is in no danger.”
“You could still put me in the Hospital Wing,” he sulks. “Besides, it’s not just procreation that I use it for.”
Ominis snorts. “Unfortunately, I am intimately aware of that.”
You make a face while Sebastian grins cheekily, offering no apology.
The three of you start to make your way toward the exit into Central Hall, ignoring the weak protests of the prefects stationed outside. As you make your way back toward the Slytherin common room, you all fall silent again, lost in your thoughts.
You aren’t sure how you’re supposed to forget what you saw, you think. In the future, you have a daughter. Her father is Sebastian Sallow, and… and she’s brilliant. Beautiful, courageous, more than a bit headstrong, and as determined as you both are if not more so.
You catch yourself actually grinning, and when you glance over at Sebastian, you see the same expression on his face.
“Anything you care to share?” you ask him.
“I know we probably shouldn’t talk about it,” he starts, “but there is one thing that girl said that I won’t soon forget.”
“What’s that?” you ask.
He’s quiet for a moment, and then he admits, “I heard her say she’s looking for a book for her aunt, and you haven’t got any sisters.”
You smile softly and reach for Sebastian’s hand. “No, I don’t.”
He lets you take his hand in his to give a reassuring squeeze.
“She’s still alive,” Sebastian says quietly. “She… she’s still sick, probably. But she’s still alive in the future. She meets my daughter, and she knows her.”
“She does,” you say. “And – and maybe we don’t quite know how that happens yet, but you can have a little faith, Sebastian. Things will work out the way they’re supposed to, and Anne will be with us for a long, long time. There’s still plenty of time to make things right again.”
He nods wordlessly but doesn’t drop your hand.
Just before you arrive at your common room, Ominis stops in his tracks.
“Hang on… Her name, Anne-Marie?” he asks you. “That sounds like something Sebastian would have picked. How generous of you.”
“Aww,” Sebastian laughs. “You must be so in love with me by then to let me pick the name.”
You grit your teeth and ignore them as you murmur the password to the giant stone snake guarding the door, hoping to get some well-earned rest and be rid of these boys for the night.
“Don’t worry, darling,” Sebastian says as he ducks around you and slips inside the door. “I’ll let you pick the name for the second one, and we can duel for rights to the third.”
You go running off after Sebastian and holler, “You bastard Sebastian Sallow, how many damn children are you expecting?!”
Ominis quickly pulls the door shut behind him and shakes his head.
“Godfather,” he mutters to himself. “I’ll never know peace, will I?”
---
[Get to know more of the Sallow kiddos in "the train ain't even left the station" ❤️]
aot/snk characters and their mitski songs:
eren jaeger: everyone, a burning hill, my body's made of crushed little stars, goodbye, my danish sweetheart, the only heartbreaker, real men, a pearl, working for the knife, pearl diver, abbey, carry me out, stay soft.
jean kirstein: heat lightning, love me more, humpty, class of 2013, crack baby, nobody, fireworks, i will, jobless monday, happy, a loving feeling, me and my husband, remember my name, square.
mikasa ackerman: francis forever, me and my husband, jobless monday, washing machine heart, carry me out, lonesome love, pink in the night, first love/late spring, i guess, a loving feeling, i don't smoke, i will, happy, old friend, your best american girl (ironic ik), texas reznikoff, i want you, door, geyser.
annie leonhardt: my body's made of crushed little stars, love me more, nobody, blue light, happy, lonesome love, i want you, crack baby, dan the dancer, a horse named cold air, texas reznikoff, working for the knife, pink in the night, two slow dancers, real men.
armin arlert: last words of a shooting star, a horse named cold air, washing machine heart, abbey, i guess, i don't smoke, i will, crack baby, love me more, stay soft, valentine, texas, pearl diver, shame, because dreaming costs money my dear.
connie springer: class of 2013, happy, i will, a horse named cold air, stay soft, i guess.
reiner braun: happy, humpty, real men, a horse named cold air, lonesome love, i bet on losing dogs, bag of bones.
historia reiss: cop car, abbey, door, crack baby, i don't smoke, drunk walk home, geyser, fireworks, stay soft, francis forever, shame, happy, love me more, a burning hill, nobody, real men, strawberry blond, thursday girl.
❝ YOU KNOW HOW TO BALL, I KNOW ARISTOTLE ❞
[ loner!megumi x popular!reader masterlist ]
insp: so high school - taylor swift
✧ summary: when having your friends over one night, they take an interest in your past as a the popular cheerleader in high school. then how the hell did the school's biggest loner end up with you? ✧ cw: loner!megumi (basically canon megumi ig), f!reader, popular!reader, sorority!reader, college au, non-sorcerer au, all characters aged up (18/19 in flashbacks, 20 and up in present scenarios), pure fluff, like tooth rotting fluff, teasing, no use of y/n ✧ word count: 6.5k
How the biggest loner in school had ended up with the most popular girl, who could have literally anyone she wanted, always had people quirk a questioning eyebrow.
Megumi’s friends were no different.
“You’ve never mentioned you were a cheerleader!” Nobara said in awe as her eyes travelled the printed pictures you’d hung up on the wall of your room, tokens of past memories.
Pictures of you with your family and some of you hanging out with friends, doing all sorts of shenanigans. Some photos from rowdy parties you’d never show your parents, certain they would crucify you if they knew what you were up to at that age.
Then there were the once Nobara had taken a liking to; you as a cheerleader. Some from baseball games where you cheered from the sidelines with your squad. Some of you placed on the top of a pyramid, sporting that toothy, rehearsed grin all cheerleaders had perfected. But the one Nobara had pointed out in particular, was one where you were simply posing alone, pom-poms raised in the air. That one was also Megumi’s favourite. He’d been the one to snap the photo, and he never passed up the opportunity to say how cute he thought you looked in the uniform.
“Head cheerleader, actually,” you smiled proudly as you fell onto the couch beside your boyfriend.
“So you were popular?”
A lighthearted chuckle escaped you at the innocent question. “Guess you could say that-“
“Wait, wait, wait, WAIT!” You were abruptly interrupted when a different picture had captured her attention. Turning to look at her, you saw her finger was pointing out what just so happened to be your favourite photo.
Right in the centre of your wall, was one starring Megumi. It was from the last baseball game you ever cheered for, where you had only officially been a couple for about a month. You had begged and begged for him to pose with you for just one photo. With hesitation imprinted on his entire demeanor, he had kept trying to convince you he was more comfortable behind the camera — but you had demanded, resulting in your favourite picture to ever exist. Standing on your tip toes to place a tender kiss on his blushing cheek, your hand was resting on his chest, while he had a secure hand placed on your waist and a shy smile painting his pretty face.
“Is that really you, Fushiguro?” She exclaimed in surprise, leaning in closer to get a better look, like she had to make sure it was actually Megumi you were kissing.
“That’s me,” he sighed.
“When did the two of you get together?”
“Senior year,” you chimed in unison. When Nobara turned towards you and Megumi again, her eyes flickered between you. It was an action that slowly wiped away the little joy you’d felt at her excitement of your past, now that you had a slight idea where this conversation might be headed.
“Were the two of you even in the same crowd?” Yuji interjected from the other side of the small coffee table, seated comfortably in the beanbag you’d furnished your room with. Your eyes followed a restless Nobara take a seat beside him on the floor, legs tucked under her as she propped her elbows on the table to rest her head in her hands.
In the corner of your eye, you spotted Megumi ogling you with a tiny, self satisfied smirk. “No, absolutely not,” he confirmed.
“So how did that happen?” The pink haired boy nearly scoffed, which should probably have offended Megumi.
At his side, he noticed how you had started to grow antsy at their piercing eyes interrogating you. Like second nature, he moved his hand from the couch to place it on your shoulder in order to try and settle some of your squirming, despite taking some pleasure in seeing you like this, precisely because it happened so rarely.
As it had been pointed out, you’d been popular back in high school. Immensely so, which had been somewhat of a blessing as it had provided you with a sturdy foundation for some confidence that had followed you as you got older.
But right now, it had begun to waver.
“I mean, how’d you manage that?”
“I didn’t.” It was such a simple statement, but it was absolutely dripping with smugness, practically hearing the smirk in his words.
All you heard from Nobara was constant bewildered stuttering, having you shrink further into yourself. “Man, come on,” Yuji continued with a chuckle. “We know what you were like in high school. You don’t have to be embarrassed.”
“I’m not embarrassed.” Both of your friends were taken aback by the uncharacteristic humour in his voice. To you, the cheeky twang to his tone wasn’t unusual, he just preferred to keep it hidden within the privacy of your relationship — except for when this became the topic of conversation.
“You don’t mean to tell me your loner ass pulled her, just like that?” Nobara finally found her voice again to say.
“Not at all what I’m saying.” The two friends looked at each other, mirroring the same expression of slight confusion.
“Stop with the cryptic statements and just tell us already!” Yuji burst out. Megumi turned his full attention to you now, which had both Nobara and Yuji snap their heads in your direction as well.
Your gaze quickly flittered between the three, never daring to let it land anywhere permanent. “What?” You asked with feigned innocence, causing your boyfriend to not be able to withhold an eye roll.
“She pulled me.”
The room turned silent, and only the ambiance of the house filled the void — the chatter of your sorority sisters downstairs, the gushing wind from the small fan in the corner of your room and the ticking of the clock mounted above your desk.
Then came the laughter.
Unruly, uncontrollable and genuine laughter from them both. Yuji even dried a single tear. But it awkwardly died down when they noticed neither you nor Megumi were joining in on their fun. You’d turned completely red, grumpily knitted your arms across your chest while Megumi still had that god awful smirk.
“Wait- you’re not joking?” Nobara spoke softly while some chuckles still escaped her.
“No,” you sighed deeply. “He’s not kidding.”
Now, you were in no shape or form ashamed over being with Megumi, and he was well aware of that. Some part of him even wished you were more ashamed of him, because you often got unabashedly vocal in your pure admiration for your boyfriend any time the opportunity arose. He never made much of a number of himself, so it was just not used to the fact that you did.
Nonetheless, every time it came up that ‘you’d pulled him’, your defining confidence took a hit — but it had more to do with you than it did Megumi.
Some would probably judge you if they knew you took a weird sense of pride in your past as the stereotypical popular cheerleader, but you had genuinely enjoyed your time in high school because of it. And for some reason, when they learned you were the one who had pursued Megumi, you felt like some of the respect you’d attained, simply disappeared.
All the hard work you’d put in to give off the impression you wanted to waste, and why? Because Megumi was quiet? Absolutely ridiculous.
That was just another factor that provoked your anger — the insinuation that you were out of Megumi’s league. You’d never thought along those lines, so it bothered you beyond belief when others hinted at it, because truthfully it wasn’t anything but rude.
Megumi, however, thought it laughable. He even found himself agreeing with his friends. If he were to take a look at you as a couple like a fly in the wall, he too would think ‘how the hell did he pull that off’.
For as long as he could remember, he’d observed all sorts of guys line up before you in an attempt to be with you. You definitely didn’t have a shortage of possible suitors, so every now and then when he came to actually think about the fact, he still became baffled that it was him you were dating.
So witnessing you get all worked up on his behalf was nothing short of adorable.
“I even turned her down at first,” he continued, reactively making you swat his leg weakly, lips pursed together in annoyance. It did nothing to stifle his amusement, only finding your tiny hissyfit comical.
“There’s no way!” Yuji huffed in pure disbelief. “You gotta tell us!”
You let out a deep sigh, and took on the responsibility to reveal the history of you and Megumi.
The two of you had lived separate lives for the most of high school, and even if you now hated to admit it, Megumi never really caught your eye at all. He sort of just blended in with the environment, keeping mostly to himself — until one day.
You were running late for practice, hurriedly tying your hair up in a tight ponytail as you turned the corner and crashed right into a broad chest. His firm hands had instantly grabbed your arms to keep from knocking you over.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry! I’m in a rush and I didn’t see where I was going-“ you began to ramble, but when you looked up to see who you’d been so unfortunate to walk into, you quickly forgot how to speak. You were staring into the most soulful, dark eyes you’d ever seen.
“‘S okay,” he mumbled, his raspy voice sending a small shiver down your spine. There was nothing in his tone that you were able to read, unsure if he was pissed or not. When his hands had left your arms, you released a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, keeping your eyes glued on him as he simply walked past you without another word.
Throughout the day, you could not for the life of you shake away the thought of this guy. His deep eyes that had seemed to hold so much knowledge, how assertively he had grabbed you to keep you from falling. Now that you finally knew he existed, he kept catching your eye all about the school grounds and you’d wondered how this handsome and mysterious guy had just slipped you by all these years.
“Hey,” you shyly leaned closer to your friend to whisper in her ear. “Do you know him?” She quickly followed your gaze, narrowing her eyebrows when she saw who you were staring at.
“Who? Fushiguro?”
“As in Tsumiki Fushiguro?”
“Yeah, he’s her little brother.”
“Didn’t know she had a brother,” you whispered mostly to yourself. “So he is a senior?”
She shrugged, seeming like she was interested in changing the topic of conversation. “Technically. Think he got held back a year because he was absent a lot when she got sick.”
“Makes sense.”
Your eyes lingered on the black haired boy sitting all the way at the other side of the cafeteria, all by himself, nose deep in some book. “You’re kidding, right?” Your friend chuckled, capturing your attention again.
“What?” You batted your eyelashes at her, putting on the most virtuous front you could muster.
“I’ve seen that look before! You can not look at Megumi Fushiguro with those eyes!” Brushing off her judgement with a roll of the eyes, you turned your attention back to see he was still solely focused on his book.
The next few days you kept observing him around school, almost always on his own. He walked from one class to another, backback slung over one shoulder and hands in his pockets. You just got more and more intrigued, seeing as no one you knew could tell you anything useful about him except that he had zero friends due to having somewhat of a bad reputation in middle school.
One day, while you had cheerleading practice, you’d seen him walk by the court and the spirit to approach him just came over you. You wanted to get to know him, see who this guy no one seemed to know, was. Your friends desperately called your name to stop you from walking over to him, but you were already jogging in his direction.
“Hey!” You shouted at him, his head turning towards you right away, a very visible frown painting his eyebrows. “Megumi, right?” You smiled sweetly, subconsciously swinging your hips slightly, your short cheerleading skirt twisting gracefully as you did.
“Yeah,” he sighed, shoulders slumping. You quickly introduced yourself by name, but getting no reaction from him what so ever, jammed a small splinter into your confidence.
“I was just wondering if you’d want to go out sometime?” You cutely bit your bottom lip, gazing sweetly at him through your eyelashes.
“No thanks.”
“Uh- I’m sorry?” Your expression had fallen at his unexpected response.
“‘M not interested.” There was no sarcasm or taunting in his voice, which only made his blunt rejection worse. Couldn’t he at least have done you the honour of a small scoff?
“Oh. Okay…” You whispered a small bye before awkwardly turning back around to rejoin the practice, utterly confused about the whole interaction.
What you didn’t have the satisfaction of witnessing, was the fact that Megumi’s face had heated up in a way he had never experienced before.
He was absolutely mortified with embarrassment at your stunt, daringly turning his head to look at you as you’d joined your friends again to see if they were all laughing as he had expected. Because it was a prank, right? Your friends had set you up to ask him out so he’d make a fool of himself in front of the most popular girl in school — the girl who’d never noticed him until today.
But he never even saw as much as a forced smile. You looked genuinely upset while your friends just seemed absolutely befuddled with a sympathetic glimpse in their eyes. Could it really have been a serious request you’d given him? There was no way.
Two weeks passed, and despite having experienced your first ever rejection, Megumi still served as an itch you just couldn’t reach. You didn’t know what it was about him that had managed to captivate you so deeply, but you kept thinking about him. Maybe it was just the fact that he’d so quickly turned you down so your ego was bruised, but nevertheless, he was on your mind.
Your eyes kept being drawn to him, like he had some magnetic pull on you that you couldn’t resist. What was worse, was it seemed he now had become aware of your longing glares. More often than not, you ended up wringing your head back to your friends at the speed of light when he suddenly caught you looking.
“You gotta stop with the sad doe eyes at Fushiguro!” Your friend had interrupted through gritted teeth at one occasion you’d yet again been staring. “It’s kinda humiliating.”
“Can’t help it,” was all you’d whispered before trying to shift your focus back to the class — where you were just handed a failed English test, which was disastrous considering university was just around the corner.
“Maybe you should ask Fushiguro to tutor you,” your friend teased as she spotted your failing grade, nothing but pure mockery in her voice.
“Why would I do that?”
She only gave you a dumb look, surprised you hadn’t learned that Megumi was actually at the top of the class in English by a long shot, considering you’d been making eyes at him for two weeks straight.
Your eyes widened, the lightbulb appearing above your head in an instant. “No- no I was joking!” Your friend argued, but you’d already made up your mind.
And first thing after class, you went scouting for Megumi during lunch, to find him, to no surprise to anyone, sitting alone in the same spot he usually occupied.
“Hi,” you said shyly, only faded traces of your famous confidence present. He looked up at the sound of your voice, removing his headphones. “Don’t worry, I’m not here to ask you out again,” you tried to joke but there was yet again, no reaction.
“Can I help you or…” he trailed of, tone in the exact same pitch as the last time you had talked to him, sending that same shiver down your spine.
“Yeah, actually. A little birdie told me you’re like an English genius, while I’m not.” Still not the tiniest movement in his face to tell you how this was going. “I’m failing horribly, and this is my last chance to save my grade before we graduate. So I was wondering if you’d be able to tutor me?”
“Uhm-“ he was nearly too stunned to speak as he had not expected that. He tilted his head to the side so he could peek at your friends, again trying to see if there were any mischievous intents. But truthfully, they looked as shocked as he did at the fact that you’d approached him.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to! I’m prepared for the no this time.” He felt the hair on his neck raise as an awkward, but still pretty, smile decorated the line of your lips.
“Sure,” he hesitated to accept, watching as the relief washed over you and you became visibly lighter.
“Really?” He subtly swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and nodded weakly. The lump came back just as quickly as he’d gotten rid of it when you flashed him a gorgeous grin that crinkled the corner of your eyes. “Alright. I’ll get back to you then.” And so you strutted away with a spring in your step back to your friends.
And not this time either did you catch the sprinkle of dusted pink across his cheeks.
It started slow at first, only an hour every week in the school library. You tried your very best to shove the memory of his rejection to the back of your mind. Because even though you managed to keep up the confident front, you were still haunted by the scene where you made a complete fool out of yourself. But for each meeting, your shoulders did eventually relax more and more, until you were able to act somewhat normal despite still finding him incredibly intriguing.
Megumi’s, however, got tenser every time he had to sit opposite you and watch how your lips subconsciously tightened in a tiny purse when you concentrated, or how you took your pen between your teeth when you crossed the line of being too exhausted to study anymore.
Nevertheless, you soon fell into a steady schedule — until you had to break it.
Megumi’s heart started racing the second your name had lit up his phone screen thirty minutes before you were supposed to meet him in the library. You’d never called him before, having kept to texting about your meet-ups.
“Hi!” You stressed into the phone, shuffling in the background. “I’m so sorry to do this on such short notice, but I suddenly have a last minute cheer practice I have to go to.”
“Oh, yeah, sure. No problem.” What neither of you knew, was that you were both disappointed. It had gone completely unsaid by the both of you, but at some point you had started looking forward to the tutoring hours for reasons not due to the curriculum.
“I mean, we could-“ you cut yourself off, biting your nail in an attempt to smother your nerves as you considered the suggestion that rested on your tongue. You were completely terrified he’d reject you again if he saw it as another sorry attempt of hitting on him.
“Yeah?” He asked curiously in a perkier tone than you’d ever heard from him before.
“I’m quite hopeless in English still, so it would be a shame to miss a meeting.” You were glad he couldn’t see you, because you were pinching your eyes shut in utter embarrassment at your lame excuse. “So if you’re down we could meet at my place after practice?” There was silence for a second, you began to wonder if he’d hung up. “Megumi?”
“I’m here, sorry,” he said weakly before clearing his throat. “I don’t see why not.”
“Great!” He heard how some of your confidence had returned as the usual chipper lilt to your voice had come back.
Through the entire practice, you were more restless than usual, which your friends quickly picked up on as you could not for the life of you stop ruffling your pom-poms together. It felt like the two hours out on that field couldn’t possibly last any longer, rushing home as soon as your coach dismissed you.
And what surprised you even more was how Megumi was already sat on the front steps of your house waiting by the time you got home. “Hi,” you breathed softly, a small smile on your lips as you pulled the ponytail out of your hair.
He only managed to tighten his lips in a thin line that could resemble a small smile if you squinted, because he was genuinely mesmerised by the sight of you. Your face was slightly tainted red by exhaustion, the uniform still on with the sports bag across your body. And once you let your hair down, it framed your face perfectly.
“Hope I didn’t keep you waiting for long.” Fidgeting with your keys as you walked passed him, he was stunned at how at peace you suddenly seemed. Maybe it was the fact that you were tired from practice, or the fact that you were suddenly on safer grounds now that you were home — either way it was a delightful shift he noticed in you.
“Only like five minutes.” You flashed him another smile as he followed you into the house, which looked pretty much exactly how he’d pictured it. Nice furniture, perfectly tidy, typical suburban home you’d expect the head cheerleader to live in.
“Is it okay I just take a quick shower before we get started?”
“Of course,” he nodded as you’d lead him into your bedroom.
“I’ll be real quick.” With yet another sweet smile, you left him alone in your room and he felt incredibly out of place. He awkwardly sat down at your desk as he let his eyes travel the room. The frown that so naturally came to his face, simply softened as he saw the small momentous of your life, getting an insight in who you were beyond the cheer uniform — how he knew you.
There was a bookshelf in the corner of your room, but not filled with as many books as one would expect. The two bottom shelves were filled with different titles, a mixture of textbooks and literature, none of which he recognised. But the rest of the shelf was scattered with all sorts of trinkets, trophies and framed photos. Without much thought, he’d gotten up from the chair to get a better look.
“Anything catch your eye?” He flinched at the sudden sound of your voice. Turning around to face you, his eyes betrayed him as he let them travel your body for a quick second. You were wearing grey sweatpants, a simple black tank top and your hair was simply pulled back by a hairband. If you even noticed him looking, you were doing him the favour of not mentioning it.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry,” he awkwardly stumbled over his words.
“Oh, no no, it’s all good. It’s on display after all,” you said as you walked over to stand beside him.
“It’s cute.” He didn’t know what had come over him, but he felt there was just the tiniest glimmer of boldness in him. Maybe it was the unexpected comfortable atmosphere you simply provided by being so casual, or the fact that the two of you might be considered friends. Which was definitely unfamiliar territory for him, but he liked the idea of it.
“Yeah?” You asked curiously, a surprised raised eyebrow as you turned to look up at him.
He smothered the tiny fear he often got whenever he had to look at you and faced you, softening at the image of your person. God, how he regretted turning you down that day by the court. And now it was too late. You had now probably come to the realisation that he was just as aloof and awkward as he appeared to be and now you simply wanted to stick to being tutored.
“Yeah, all these memories put into material stuff for you to just gaze upon and just reminisce. It’s nice,” he shrugged, trying his best to seem calm and nonchalant.
“How poetic,” you teased as you nudged him with your elbow. “Fits the mysterious persona.” He wanted to say something, something silly to fire back at you so he could make you giggle. And despite being clever with words and language, you truly had the influence to kill that part of him. Where he lacked in basic small talk, he was grateful you were smooth enough to just turn the focus to your desk. “Maybe we should get started.”
It didn’t take more than twenty minutes for the pen to be placed between your teeth, as he had learned was a sign there was little point in continuing today’s session. He tried to proactively fight the disappointment that would take ahold of him when you were to send him home soon, but it never came. On the contrary, you hit him with an unexpected question. “You hungry?”
He just blinked at you a couple of times before nodding slowly. “I could definitely eat.”
“How about we order pizza? My treat, like a thanks for helping me out. Or you can consider it payment,” you chuckled as you reached for your phone to order.
“Pizza sounds nice,” he said with a small smile, which caught your attention, immediately having to swallow away the nerves that built up at the frame. He so rarely let his lips curve upwards, so whenever it did happen, your heart decided to skip the smallest beat.
Averting your gaze and clearing your throat to speak again, thanking all the mightier powers that you managed to keep your voice steady. “Pepperoni alright with you?” He simply nodded before relaxing back in the chair.
You were the perfect hostess, making him feel a little stupid as he just sat by your desk while you ran around fixing everything. You brought plates, drinks, napkins. Oh, and pillows, because you usually shared pizza with your girlfriends while sat on the floor, and sooner rather than later the pizza arrived.
“Bon appetite,” you breathed happily as you put it down on the floor as you sat down on the pillow opposite him. “So, what is it you’re reading all the time?”
The question caught him off guard. As long as this arrangement had been going on, you hadn’t really made an attempt in trying to talk about anything other than school. It was mostly just a tiny comment here and there that he simply let drift by.
“Sorry?” Was all he managed to muster out as he served himself a slice.
“I always see you reading something. What is it you read?” His eyes roamed your face, so surprised by the genuine interest in getting to know him.
“All sorts of stuff, I guess,” he shrugged.
“So what’s your favourite then?”
“Aristotle.”
“Aristotle?” You asked simply. He nodded. “Like the philosopher?” He nodded again, giving you a charmed smile.
“So what’s it about his stuff that you like?”
“I suppose his take on ethics is what interests me the most.”
You nodded slowly as swallowed. “Tell me about it!”
He was a little dazed at all the questions, because he’d never really found himself in a situation like this before. No one had really made the effort to try and get to know him like this.
And so he did as he was told, explaining Aristotle to you. He felt extremely pretentious where he sat on your floor, carefully explaining the ins and outs of one of history’s greatest philosophers. But you listened so intently, following every word he said.
What surprised him the most was how silence never seemed to overcome you, which was usually what happened to him. That was all thanks to you, of course, as you kept on asking him rather leading questions so he would have no trouble keeping the conversation going.
Despite you taking lead in the conversation, you both managed to keep the conversation flowing nicely. So nicely, neither of you realised how late it had gotten until you looked out the window to see it was completely dark.
“I should probably head home.” His tone had done a 180 from when he first arrived, revealing a side of him no one at school had seen at least.
You nodded shyly, hiding the fact that you where upset the evening had to end. “I’ll follow you out.”
Opening the door, your eyes never left his face until he faced you to meet his dark eyes again. But they had changed — though just as deep as always, they weren’t cold anymore. They now spoke with a newfound tenderness.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” He didn’t mean for it to come out like a pathetic question, like he desperately wanted — needed — you to come talk to him. Luckily for him you only flashed your teeth in a kind smile.
“See you tomorrow.” A teensy, childlike smile grew on his lips as an instinctive reaction to your words. Before he managed to turn on his heel and leave, your arms snaked around his neck with glee and pulled him in for a hug.
His breath hitched in his throat and his limbs froze at his side at the sudden gesture. “I had a nice time tonight,” you muffled, making him shudder at the feeling of your warm breath against his ear.
He knew he’d regret it if he didn’t seize this opportunity. Letting your voice be what grounded him in reality again, he laced his arms around your waist to return the embrace.
“Yeah, me too.”
After that, things just escalated. You still hung out with your friends for the most part, but you tagged along with Megumi in between classes. It was a pleasant surprise when you would called out his name down the hallway, jogging to catch up with him.
You were radiating. Genuinely glowing with a sense of contentment. What he didn’t know was that it was solely because of him. Ever since you’d hugged him goodbye that night, you’d been shaking with anticipation to see him again.
For a few minutes every day, he felt like he had you all to himself before returning back to your own life in school. And even then, you still sent him calming smiles that reassured the worries he had that he was imagining things and you’d just forget about him the next day.
“What is going on?” One of the batters from the baseball team had asked you one time, as he had come up to walk beside you just as you’d left Megumi to sit with your friends for lunch.
“What d’you mean?” You asked innocently as you placed your tray on the table before sitting down.
“With you and Fushiguro?” His voice was absolutely dripping with disgust when saying his name.
“She has a crush,” your friend, who’d been observing your pining for weeks, teased as she inserted herself into the conversation.
“You can’t be for real?” He scoffed.
“What? You jealous it’s not you?” You’d fired back immediately, giving him a flirtatious look knowing damn well that was actually the case.
“Of Fushiguro? You’re ridiculous.” You fought the snicker that was lodged in your chest as you so clearly heard the embarrassed tremble in his voice.
Despite your friends judging every second you spent with Megumi, whether if it was because he was tutoring you or not, you genuinely couldn’t care less. You saw absolutely no reason to be ashamed over hanging out with him, because you were too distracted by the tingling feeling he sparked deep in your stomach every time you felt his eyes rest on you.
And two months before graduation, you had turned warm with happiness when you’d been met with Megumi leaned against the wall outside the classroom, waiting for you to finish the dreaded English test he’d so diligently helped you study for. You’d only mentioned one time when the test were to take place, and the fact that he had remembered and turned up to show his support, without you requesting, only had your smitten heart beat faster.
“How’d you think it went?”
“As well as it could, I suppose. The grade will be up later today,” you shrugged, rubbing your bare arms in an attempt to calm your nerves.
“I’ll wait with you,” he sighed as he pushed himself off the wall to walk along side you.
“You don’t have to-“
“I want to.” He winced quietly, feeling the words had left him way too quickly to seem cool. “Just so you know, if you get an A, I do take cash as payment.” Your mouth instantly dropped in shock, not believing your own ears.
“Was that a joke I just heard?” You said as you gently shoved him with your shoulder.
With a satisfied pull of his shoulders, you couldn’t help but scrunch your nose at how absolutely adorable he was being.
As much as he wanted to enjoy the day, simply hanging out, he was filled with a small feeling of panic. Because once you got that grade, you no longer had an excuse to hang out and he just expected things would go back to how they were before. You’d go back to not even acknowledging his existence, while he would go back to blending in with the crowd, voice going hoarse because he didn’t have anyone to talk to anymore.
And once you got a notification and your face froze, he realised his time with you was limited. He studied every inch of you carefully as you took a deep breath before checking the grade.
“I got a B,” you whispered.
“Come again?”
“I got a B,” you squealed, latching on around his neck in a bone crushing hug. “Thank you so much, Megumi!”
A deep exhale of solace left him at the sensation of your body pressed up against him in a caring embrace. “You did great,” he mumbled shyly.
When the hug broke, much to his dismay, he brazenly let his hands remain on the dips of your torso. Then, what he had only imagined in his wildest dreams happened, when you so determinedly placed both your hands on his face and pulled him in for a spontaneous kiss right on the lips.
When you realised what you were doing, you abruptly pulled away, clasping both hands over your mouth, staring at him with distress.
“I am so sorry!” You apologised profusely, the words muffled against your hands still covering your guilty lips.
“It’s okay,” he swallowed, but he wasn’t even sure the words made its way past his lips. He just knew his face had turned completely red at your sudden action.
Your hands moved from your mouth to cover your eyes so you wouldn’t have to look at him. “I did not mean to jump you like that. That was so disrespectful! My god, I cannot stress enough how sorry I am!” The sorry words just tumbled out of you, so embarrassed that you’d just thrown yourself at him like that. And in the process, probably ruining every chance you might have had with him.
For what felt like an eternity, you stood there in complete silence before you jumped slightly when you felt his prominent fingers carefully wrapping around your wrists, and pulled them away so you met his understanding eyes.
“Ask me again.” The blush was still visible on his face, but he didn’t seem as mortified as he was mere seconds ago.
“What?”
“You know what,” flashing your small smirk. “Ask me again.” Your brain worked overtime to decipher his message as his eyes flickered between yours. You drew a sharp breath when it hit you like a truck what he was hinting at.
“Would you like to go out sometime?” Déjà vu washed over the two of you, the question sounding just as sugar sweet as it did the first time.
“I would love to.”
“That’s actually quite adorable,” Yuji smiled, as he wrapped his arms tighter around the pillow in his lap.
Nobara didn’t seem as impressed by the story, necessarily. She had her eyebrows pinched together in a frown that seemed anything but understanding. “You really did pursue Fushiguro?”
You rolled your eyes at her. “Yeah,” you said with a shrug. “He was exceptionally cute.” You turned towards him again, grabbing his chin in your hands and wiggling it, puckering your lips at him. It managed to draw out the reaction you wanted — subtle blush kissed cheeks.
“You really had the high school life I always dreamed of, and you gambled it over Fushiguro?” Her dramatic sigh rang through the room as her head fell back, finally being the one to offend Megumi — which was probably way overdue anyways.
You simply scoffed at her, snapping her head back up to look at you. “I didn’t gamble anything,” a smug grin greeting her. “My reputation was never in any danger. Not even Megumi could destroy that.” A squeal instantly yelped out of you when he pinched your side to tickle you. “I’m joking,” you giggled as you let your body melt further into the crook of his arm. “Or, not really. I meant what I said that my reputation was never in danger.”
“I would have killed to know you at eighteen,” she whined and she crossed her arms, a grumpy pout on her lips.
“Then I would be risking my reputation,” you mocked, both the boys laughing at your jab while she just let her jaw drop. “I’m kidding! I would have loved to know you in high school.”
After a while, Nobara and Yuji fell into a bickering match neither you or Megumi had any clue what was about. Your finger traced slow circles on his thigh while you felt his hand give you a slight squeeze.
“You okay?” You took a deep breath through the nose and nodded.
“Mhmm,” you smiled and met his gaze. “Just getting nostalgic.”
He leaned forward and placed a sweet kiss on your shoulder before resting his chin on the spot he just gifted his affection. “Yeah, me too.” His eyes admired your face as your eyes softly followed his hairline, dragging your hand through his hair. “Does that mean you wanna order pepperoni pizza?”
Your eyes lit up immediately, beaming at him with pure joy. “You know me so well!”
Another small peck was placed on your shoulder before he reached for his phone.
a/n aaaaah it's here... the introduction to my 400 followers special. i am actually so happy with this and so excited to produce this "project" if you will i think this fic will be mostly serve like an introduction, and other stuff ill post will be more like drabbles, that ill write when im motivated ofc, but also when i dont have any other ideas - because i have quite a few ideas lined up. but so we're clear, everything that takes place in megumi and reader's story happens from when they're 18/19 and up. but yea, so excited to share this concept with you guys <3
reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated
plagiarism not authorized
tag list @sad-darksoul, @nyahctrl, @ssetsuka
warnings: angsty, cheating, cursing, suggestive, f!reader
word count: 8.7k warnings: swearing, mentions of blood summary: Yuuta’s not convinced that Toge and (y/n’s) relationship is platonic, but the others don’t seem to see it. So he keeps an eye on the pair himself, because they’ll have to slip up at some point and show their true feelings, right? (or, the four times Yuuta spied on his friends to prove they were in love with each other) more info: hella friends to lovers, aged up characters, jujutsu tech is a college ___
Afficher davantage
Rui would be the perfect company for when you have to pull an all-nighter trying to finish a project with a deadline. He's full of energy and doesn't get sleepy, so he'd easily stay up all night with you. He'd be there to keep refilling your mug as soon as he notices it's once again empty. He'd also remind you to drink lots of water (you can't live off of caffeine alone). If he sees you're starting to get discouraged, he'd not hesitate to give you words of encouragement, with some flirty jokes here and there "we'll definitely have to celebrate after you're done, we can go on a date as my treat 😉", causing you to chuckle. And suddenly you feel all the stress and worry that's been accumulating for the past hours slowly disappearing, now replaced with a boost of energy and confidence. His plan worked, and he feels so accomplished, staring at you with a fond smile on his face, wishing time would just stop, wishing he could spend every single night like this. And days. And seasons. He wants to spend every remaining second of his life with you. But for now, he settles for staying up all night with you, until the very end.
꒰warnings꒱ not proofread pls don’t yell at me *sniffles*
⠀꒲ ` synopsis . . . [char] and you tend to say your i love yous pretty regularly, it’s become a subconscious routine for the both of you; what would happen if either one of you just suddenly didn’t respond?
⠀꒲ ` characters . . . venti, diluc, xiao, tartaglia, kazuha, ayato, alhaitham, wanderer, lyney, neuvillette, wriothesley, arlecchino
⠀꒲ ` notes . . . ദ്ദി(。•̀ ᗜ^) drabbles vary in length significantly because…i’m a little unwell with astarion brainrot rn and i will not rest till i get to kiss my beautiful vampiric man — also i apologise for making some of these more angsty than intended…i couldn’t help myself haha
VENTI — 温迪
꒰ him not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
ʚ venti? of all people? not saying i love you to his beloved windblume whom he’d personally resurrect ancient gods for if they asked with that sweet, melodic voice of theirs?
ʚ the only viable reason for him not replying can most likely be bottled down to him being a brat. a spoiled one at that. you give him so much affection it’s a little scary sometimes to think someone just know all of his ins and out as if they held his heart within the palm of their hand meaninglessly. so how do you expect him to be satisfied with a mere phrase when he wants you so desperately?
“i’m leaving for a commission, i’ll be back in a few hours; love you, honey.” you said per routine, fixing your hair in the mirror that stood perfectly near the doorway under venti’s request (he likes seeing how his braids look after you do them in the morning).
what you expected was a reply, but certainly not the one that followed: “alright, bye bye~” venti tilted his head back as his body slinked on the couch, his eyes scanning yours upside down with that look on his face which suggested he knew exactly what he was doing.
“goodbye, venti, i love you.” you re-enunciate, arms crossing firmly over your chest pridefully to mirror venti’s stubbornness that fell immediately upon sight of your pretty face glancing over at his. oh, he really couldn’t resist you for too long.
“i’ll say it back if you stay with me today!” he giggled, teeth on full display as he grinned widely; fully aware you’d indulge him even if for only a little while.
꒰ you not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
“windblume…” venti sadly slumped his head on your shoulder, leaving enough space for his eyes to glance at the book in your hands as you continued to read despite his sulking.
“i accidentally packed my schedule full with a flurry of performances…i’m afraid i won’t be able to indulge in your cuddles all day like i wanted to,” he whined, kissing the side of your neck to compensate for the lack of affection he’s going to have to put up with.
really, if he could, he’d pretend all the strings on his lyre magically untuned themselves into havoc if it meant giving an excuse to be back in your warm hold. but as a god of the wind, and one who shared the passions of music no less, it was more or less his duty to share his w with the residents of mondstadt when asked so kindly.
“i promise i’ll return to you soon as i can! no quick stop at angel’s share this time either,” venti managed a chuckle despite the inner thumping of his heart at the mere prospect of returning home to you — an experience he never thought he’d fulfil in his lifetime. “i love you dearly, my darling, i’ll see you soon~”
he leaned over the back of the couch to help reach the side of your face, lips pursing into a fish-like pout as he awaited to hear those beloved words that were always followed by a rewarding kiss. yet you merely hummed in acknowledgement of his presence and his soon departure.
who do you think you are?
venti’s brows immediately knit down together in frustration. “windblume…i said, i love you,” he leaned closer, “sweetheart…come on, say it back!” he finally nuzzled his cheek against yours, trying to elicit some sort of response from you that didn’t border on full on ignoring him. usually that slight uplift of your lips would be enough, but with the additional context that he’d be away from you for so long, venti couldn’t cope with a mere smile!
feeling a little flicker of breeze behind you, goosebumps prickle your skin and a delicate shiver runs down your spine, the little gust of wind disappearing as quick as it came. venti hooked his fingers beneath your chin, delicately forcing your eyes to meet his. “won’t you tell your god you love him?”
those gorgeous and elaborate white wings of his flutter quietly, twitching in anticipation as he excitedly awaits for what he’s been dying to hear. you sigh, leaning towards him to press the most featherlight kiss on the side of his face. “i love you too, now go along already, you’re going to be late.”
R. DILUC — 迪卢克
꒰ him not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
ʚ you’ve probably, unfortunately, caught him at a relatively bad time if he had completely ignored your affections. after all, while not necessarily a really active recipient, diluc is more than happy to indulge your carefree “i love yous” and kisses.
ʚ there’s no way he’d ever intentionally ignore or not reply to an “i love you”, especially one that’s so sickly sweet to his ears
“i’m going to bed, luc,” you yawn, arms stretching far out in front of you as you push yourself away from the desk that was littered with several papers stacked on top of each other in various piles that were marked by different pen colours. “you better come join me soon, alright? i love you.”
diluc hums and nods his head, eyes sunken into his skull as his fingers continue flipping the pen within his hand in a sleepy dance as he just barely managed to focus on the words that seemed to squeeze together. none of yours even register in his mind as you sorrowfully close the office door to head to your usually shared bedroom.
it only takes a little while for his brain to catch up to his heart. so that’s why he felt it flutter…
diluc immediately packs away his things to the best of his drowsy ability, hanging up his coat that he honesty forgot he still had draped on himself before he burst into your bedroom rather dramatically. panting from having rushed himself, his arms propping himself up with both sides of the door way, diluc looks away all flushed.
“…i love you as well, i’m sorry for not saying it,” he sighs in comfort as you raise a brow at him, amused at just how quickly he managed to wrap thing ups purely out of guilt that he failed to reciprocate your intentions.
꒰ you not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
oh. well…you’ve must’ve had a reason, right?
you wouldn’t just leave right in the morning for a commission, tell him goodbye when he declared his love to you without you repeating the same routine back to him? right?
and yet, you did; and now diluc finds himself in the peculiar position of being overly worried. he has strength, power and stability beyond imagination, but without your affection as fuel, what use are those things?
staring back at the ticking clock continuously, the wet rag in hand helping him clean up some ink that spilled across his hands as a frustrated groan escaped him. what kind of man have you turned him into that he can’t even focus on important tasks merely because you didn’t say a few simple words?
maybe that’s where the problem lies. the words “i love you” always seemed simple to you, something that diluc can admit had found himself jealous of on occasion, so now that he’s absent from something so easy, it’s a little difficult to not overthink the possibilities that the phrase has become harder to swallow for you.
diluc nearly slams his head on his desk at such a thought. he can’t lose his mind over something so silly, it’s fine. you’re both fine.
taking another meandering glance at the clock, diluc’s chair scraped across the wood as he flung on his coat, brushing it clean as he sauntered downstairs with the most grumpy expression dawn winery has seen in a while.
“honey, why do you look so upset?” your sweet voice lured him back into sanity as diluc’s steps immediately calmed down, his eyes widening momentarily as you seemed to return much earlier than expected from your travels. shaking his head, diluc sighs, “it’s nothing, my love — let’s go out for dinner, is that all right?”
XIAO — 魈
not really a surprise, honestly.
xiao isn’t necessarily known for being a fun-loving, happy-go-lucky, super affectionate bunny and as much as he wishes he could just vocalise the song that plays in his heart whenever you meet his eyes, he’s unable to reciprocate your affections in a way that’s satisfactory.
you’ve grown to accept such a fact. xiao, on the other hand, hasn’t. it’s like a little itch for him that he can’t scratch but desperately wants to. doesn’t mean he won’t show his love in other more discreet ways.
there are the subtle things; like the way he ensures your favorite dish is always ready when you come over, how he lingers a bit longer during a goodbye hug almost as if he’s scared to let you go, or the times he’ll simply sit in comfortable silence with you (though, that is common), his presence a quiet yet powerful testament to his feelings.
sometimes, he leaves small tokens for you to find: a flower carefully placed on your doorstep, a hand-written note slipped into your bag that you can tell was written in a hurry due to how sloppy the handwriting looks, a charm he crafted himself hidden among your belongings that he specifically sought the guidance of zhongli from. it's in these gestures that his love for you shines through, even if the words remain unspoken.
꒰ you not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
there are times when xiao escapes his shell, and it’s in those quiet moments where you’re both completely alone without even the whistling of the wind to eavesdrop on you atop the comfortable slope of a mountain, that xiao verbally tells you how much he adores you. sometimes a little more poetically than intended, but he hopes his words pass through to you in the form of a flutter.
“…a vow as enduring as the sea and mountains,” xiao mumbled nervously, his hand awkwardly hovering over yours in hesitance before he sucked in a breath and decided to just give in and delicately interlock your fingers. watching as you tilted your head in confusion, xiao looked away and muttered again: “i meant that i love you.”
the silence and the little nod that followed, which was all meant as a little ploy to tease him for being so cute and flustered over a term you didn’t even need to hear on the regular, resulted in xiao’s chest to tighten anxiously. did you not feel the same way anymore? but then again, that devious smile of yours (which xiao could differentiate the style of pretty instinctively) made it certain there was a deeper meaning behind the quiet.
“it's alright," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "you don't have to say anything. i just wanted you to know."
TARTAGLIA — 公子
꒰ him not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
ʚ petty petty petty, absolutely done out of pettiness and just being an overall ginger brat.
ʚ you forgot to say good morning immediately after you woke up? haha, what was your name again? aw, you walked passed him on your travels even though he deliberately came over to see you? guess he’s not paying for all your stuff today… (he will, just ask).
one morning, groggy and half-asleep, you stumbled out of bed, forgetting to meekly mumble your usual "good morning, my darling, i love you" as you got up for the day. it was a small and rather insignificant oversight, but not for childe.
later that day, as you wandered through the vibrant streets of fontaine, you spotted his unmistakable ginger hair approaching. waving and smiling at your beloved, expecting some sort of hyper response back, you awaited his towering presence with a hand on your hip. he walked right past you. full on. turning your head with furrowed brows and jaw hung low, you notice that little playful, shit-eating smirk on his lips.
a little confused, you called out to him, "ajax! come back here.”
he turned, feigning surprise despite clearly having seen you (and, unbeknownst to you, having been watching you for the past couple minutes as you checked out several vendors). "oh, it's you. i almost didn't recognize you."
rolling your eyes, you walked up to him. "seriously?” both of you stared at each other in scrutiny, tartaglia fighting back the urge to squeeze you within his arms and whine at you for your negligence while you fought the urge to pull him down by his sunlit strands to coax some sense out of him. “are you mad at me?”
he shrugged nonchalantly, eyes twinkling with mischief you recognised immediately. "hmm, who’s mad? i just forgot who you were for a moment." let’s not mention the fact he has your front, back and side silhouettes memorised to the point he could trace it with his eyes closed expertly.
when you both parted ways, tartaglia making up some excuse that he had to buy some souvenirs for his siblings despite you knowing full well he was just listening to your reprimand from a week ago that he needed respite from being brutalised repeatedly, you found yourself linking pieces of red yarn together internally.
oh he’s just such a little shit isn’t he?
the sun set and bedazzled the sky in golden red hues, you walked back to your shared accommodation and a hefty amount of apologetic snacks filling your bag. normally, when you opened the door, ajax would jump at you. it was obvious from the way he sat leaned back on the couch that he was biting back that urge too.
grinning, you approached him, feeling a mix of amusement and frustration. "you know i love you, right?"
he glanced at you, his expression softening for a moment, god he really missed you so much even if only parted for a few hours at most. "hmm, do you? because i don't recall hearing such a thing in the morning."
you laughed, shaking your head at his childishness. settling yourself next to him, arms encasing around his wounded torso, you muttered a little compromise: "alright, honey. tomorrow, first thing. i promise."
tartaglia finally relented, pulling you into a gentle embrace that led to him exhaling a breath he was holding (probably a subtle way to get his loud heart to stop beating so furiously). "good. i suppose i can forgive you this time.“
꒰ you not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
ajax had disobeyed your orders again.
even when being repeatedly asked by friends and his own lover alike, he just couldn’t behave in a way that didn’t result in at the very least, a few scratches and bruises on his freckled skin. it irritated you to no end.
irritation, of course, led to frustration. i mean, when you have to regurgitate the same instructions to someone you adore to death, it becomes exhausting. you didn’t necessarily argue about it, you simply tuned off.
sitting in bed with a book cradled between your fingertips, a mellow tune humming in the background from your vinyl as you soaked in the fantasy you were thoroughly engaged in. none of those things could unfortunately deafen the whines from ajax as he cozied himself up next to you, a silent groan slipping past his lips as he incidentally tore at one of his bandages.
“kochanie…” his nose nuzzled against your clothes as he found himself laying on your warm thighs. “i already apologised for being a dumbass, i swear i love you and i’ll listen to you properly next time.”
he purses his lips into a pout as you ignore him and continue to scan your eyes over the ink. “come on, i love you, sweetheart.” he nudged you, pinching you as delicately as possible but enough to elicit a gasp from you as you finally glance over at him.
“and i love peace and quiet, so if you could, zip it.”
surely you don’t think that was a good enough response for someone as needy for attention as ajax?
“i’m so hurt…” he pitifully grumbled, arms crossing over his firm chest as he continued staring up at you with a gaze that meant “you are not getting out of this”.
“won’t even spare a small kiss for your wounded lover? a hug? a cuddle? even just a whisper of your voice? how am i meant to live—“ you hush childe’s antics by squishing his cheeks together, forcing a fish like pout to form with his lips.
“i love you too, you’re just annoying.”
he’d take that over you fully ignoring him any day.
K. KAZUHA — 枫原万叶
꒰ him not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
ʚ not possible, thank you next character.
ʚ the only possible way kazuha would ever not indulge your i love yous is when he’s away to a different nation and he sends you a response letter that takes weeks to come to your hands, or if that same letter somehow gets wet or ruined while in transit and his affections get dampened and smudged
ʚ otherwise? kazuha doesn’t see the point in stubborn behaviour. if there’s a problem, though there hardly ever is, he’s under the pretence a couple should talk about it with a clear mind before making a final decision or statement — or in this case, the retraction of affection.
ʚ you’re his map, with the treasure being your heart. why would he ever choose to not tell you he loves you when he gets the chance? you already lack sufficient time with another, and kazuha prefers using the time he does have with you to show you how much he adores you (whatever way that manifest as).
꒰ you not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
kazuha absolutely smothers you in his love. though that usually feels more like you’re resting within the comfort of a sandy beach as soft washes of waves tickle your skin. you’re never short of a supply of affection.
that’s why a devious idea popped into your head. what if you just didn’t reciprocate?
“my heart,” kazuha’s breathy voice popped the bubble that hung over your head. “you’ve been spaced out for a while now, do you need a kiss to help you refocus?” you had to stop yourself from jumping at the opportunity.
“uh, no it’s fine, you don’t have to,” the reply made kazuha raise an eyebrow quizzically. that’s certainly not something he expected to hear especially after not seeing you for a while; but, he’d respect your choice. it’s not like he’s desperate for something so simple, you could just genuinely not be interested.
“hm…alright then, beloved.” he smiled sincerely, head falling to rest on your shoulder as his hand gently rested on the small of your back, rubbing soothing circles that mirrored the shape of the moon that cast a glow on you both. “i love you.”
he could’ve sworn he just said he loved you, so why did the winds bellow a response instead? coughing into his hand to clear his throat, thinking that perhaps you just didn’t hear him, he repeated: “i love you, songbird.”
met with silence again, kazuha simply stays quiet. he doesn’t need a reply, that’s not why he says sweet things to you like he’s writing a lyrical sonnet. he tells you he loves you because it helps write the song in his heart that beats whenever he’s near you in a much more coherent way.
K. AYATO — 神里绫人
꒰ him not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
ʚ this man oozes with romantic appeal. even if he’s off voyaging to a whole other nation he’ll find a way to not only say i love you, but also to say his good morning and good nights (accompanied with poorly doodled attempts at kiss marks to make up for the lack of physical touch).
ʚ when he’s upset? gods no. he could be frustrated with you to the point he needs a break, and regardless he’ll leave the room with a reminder he loves you. he doesn’t need you getting second thoughts and therefore won’t ever plant them.
ʚ he’s too busy? so? thoma has two hands i’m sure he can handle giving you letters that are merely love notes while he cleans the abode (assuming you and ayato live together separately from where he works…you can imagine how much thoma despises this errand despite his loyalty).
꒰ you not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
“greetings, love,” ayato’s arms slid around your middle, chin coming to rest atop your shoulder as he hums a sweet tune as if he were a bird coming back home to his nest. a rather direct analogy, since that’s exactly the occurrence.
plagued with hours of paperwork and meetings with government issues and secret organisations that god forbid you or ayaka ever found out about, ayato has missed you gravely. if he didn’t know better he’d demand this sort of sin to be classified as a national crime with the sentence being told to stay home with your spouse all day (his literal dream).
now that he’s free for at least a little while, peace alas twinkling within his eyes as they close tightly to enjoy the silence as he clings onto you, ayato does feel like all the pain and ink he went through was totally worth it. if the price he had to pay for holding you oh so tightly is simply meaningless signatures on several documents, he’s willing to waste the entire supply of ink within inazuma — he wants this reward to last as long as possible, after all.
“mm, you smell divine, are you using the flower-scented perfume i sent you the other week? i love it,” he rambled, lips pressing against your nape as you busied yourself with some crocheting, ayato’s eyes opening only to focus on the way your deft hands moved so skilfully. he’d make a comment about how he wished those hands were on him instead, but he had a particular reputation to uphold — and lewd impatient man certainly wasn’t part of it.
“more importantly, sweetheart,” ayato cooed, beginning to trail kisses around your neck and any exposed skin he managed to find, “i love you. so, look at me won’t you?”
merely turning your head to plant a kiss to the side of his jaw in a way of compromise, you otherwise remained silent. “you know,” ayato smiled devilishly, his hand beginning to play with your hair soothingly. “i bought some stuff on my travels recently, a lot of things that are meant for you, of course.”
“i can’t wait to surprise you tonight during dinner.”
that was a threat. maybe not a direct one, but you could recognise the slyness in that man’s voice soon as he mentioned buying “stuff” — things that were definitely substitutes for poison (a little far fetched, but it’s best to assume whatever he conjures up will be the worst thing possible to save yourself the trip to a hospital bed).
“i love you too.” you appeased, and his face immediately lightened, arms returning around you as if finally satiated.
ayato huffs a stifled laugh, quelling your worries with a simple: “i’ll have the staff know you’d like your favourite dish prepared.”
ALHAITHAM — 艾尔海森
꒰ him not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
ʚ lowkey, it’s a bit of a 50/50 with him…?
ʚ sometimes, he just genuinely doesn’t hear you. whether it’s because he’s subconsciously disassociating, overstimulated from excessive noise (it’s pretty much canon that he’s autistic, you can’t give me a character that constantly wears headphones and only speaks when spoken to and expect me not to connect the dots) or simply because whatever’s playing in his ears was a little too loud and had managed to drown out your words — these specifics are never intended, and he’s more likely to reply back if you repeat yourself (or give him some time).
ʚ other times though, is simply him teasing you. remember that one scene at the end of the interdarshan festival where alhaitham said, “best things are told thrice” (or whatever the quote was), yeah he commits to that in this scenario too.
ʚ he’ll pretend he can’t hear you just so he can see the sweet frustration in your eyes as you mumble the words “i love you” through gritted teeth. he’ll smirk it off subtly and reciprocate…after a while of course. perhaps when you’re falling asleep on his chest once you’re finally cuddled in bed together, you’ll manage to catch his hushed whisper.
the world was intent on making alhaitham break down today. he woke up without you in bed with him this morning, meaning he couldn’t brush his teeth while next to you as he passed you things that you required to get ready to start the day. from that, none of the foods or snacks he liked were available and the only option were fruits or meals he didn’t like or he weren’t in the mood for.
already feeling irritated and grumpy, him nearly spilling a vase on the books he had perfectly stacked up to binge read as he bumped into the corner of the table could’ve made him bang his head brutally on the wall. this wouldn’t have been a problem if kaveh didn’t place something so fragile and wobbly on something that’s in the way.
alas, when he finally died down for the afternoon, book in hand, a melody passing by his ear as he tried to focus on breathing, all a sudden that irritation just slowly came creeping back. the words on the page squished together like some sort of cartoon from fontaine as they began to make no coherent sense even as he went over every line twice.
to make it worse? you had just come back home.
that sounds bad, but for alhaitham it was a travesty. now he wasn’t able to at the very least embrace you in greeting in fear he’d lash out at the sudden contact. noticing the scrunching of his brows and the way his jaw looked like he’d been clenching it subconsciously for hours, you smiled out of sympathy, knowing from experience that this was most definitely another case of the domino effect of bad shit happening.
“need me to leave you alone for a bit?” you asked as quietly as possible but in an octave he wouldn’t twitch at in frustration.
he shook his head. a little surprising, but you complied with his wish and sat down on the floor next to him as he laid back on the couch as if in an impromptu therapy session. alhaitham held out his hand for you and you gently but surely placed yours on top, a delicate reminder that he was free to express whatever was on his mind when the world finally felt a little more peaceful.
꒰ you not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
it’s not like alhaitham really says he loves you verbally, he prefers showing his love to you though actions. after all, actions speak louder than words — what’s the point of telling you he loves you if he doesn’t have the actions to back it up?
but for the sake of the scenario, let’s imagine alhaitham decides to spoil you with one his few vocal affirmations. his hands slowly running up and down the spine of your back, chest rising and falling in slow steady breaths as you burrow yourself into his side. alhaitham was reluctantly reading a romance book that you forcefully recommended him in hopes he’d learn a few things that would make you swoon (despite him doing plenty such things already).
“i love you.” he randomly blurts, his eyes clearly having scanned over the same phrase within the page he was on since he rather quickly skipped past it once your eyes caught glimpse of it. alhaitham is a confident, sometimes arrogant, man — nothing ever truly bothers him when in regards to the words or actions of other people unless they pose a threat to someone he loves.
however, in this case, your lack of words makes his brows scrunch down, bright teal eyes now scrutinising you as you clearly try to hide away a giggle. “don’t you think it’s a little rude to not reply to someone’s confession.” he asks in a monotone voice, attention returning to the words on the page that now seemed irrelevant.
“if you want me to be like the characters in your little romance stories, how about you also commit to that yourself?” a little harsh sounding, but when faced with alhaitham’s pettiness, this is probably the most lenient he’s ever been to anyone.
WANDERER — 流浪者
꒰ him not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
ʚ another one that’s not necessarily surprising.
ʚ he likes using the phrase to tease or slander you, if anything. case in point: “oh i love you alright, but that doesn’t mean you get to steal my blanket in the middle of the night.” or “i love you more when you keep completely silent."
“i’m convinced you don’t love me.” ah god, not another one of your little helpless spiels again. this sort of conversation starter would normally set of a warranted number of red flags. in this case, however, both of you understood it was more like the start of a theatrical display of your pettiness.
“right, and why’s that?” scara asked unamused, face not changing from his casual stoicism as he scanned over a possibly illegal book he snuck from the library (and if this conversation goes one way you might just tattle to auntie nahida).
“you slept on the couch yesterday even after i cooked your favourite dish and got you out of that lecture kusanali forced you to attend by pretending we had chores to do,” you list off your good deeds on your fingers, your body sinking next to his on the couch that seemed more like a partner in crime than just a piece of furniture.
scara rolled his eyes. licking the tip of his fingertip to turn the page on his book, he huffed a response absentmindedly: “i do love you, but you just keep pushing me off the bed because of my cooler temperature so i got annoyed — simple as.”
꒰ you not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
‘oh, so just fuck me i guess?’
it’s already so difficult for him to even admit how much he cares for you, so to have such a hefty phrase leave his lips and be left with silence? he’s a little more than pissed.
scara’s eyebrows crunched together, confusion written all over his face at the sudden change in your demeanor. you’re always the first to jump at the opportunity to coddle him soon as his sour lips turn sweet, so what’s with the sudden negativity? the hostile fire that once flickered in his eyes was now replaced by a mournful sadness, and scara couldn’t help but feel like he was staring at a stranger.
his chest tightened in a way that didn’t feel good, and he found himself swallowing thickly, eyes flicking downward to where your hands swirled an ice-filled glass. guilt nipped at scara’s conscience, and he scrubbed a hand over his face, letting out a heavy sigh.
“what did i fucking do wrong now?” he spits out.
scara tends to take even the slightest joke within your relationship as a direct threat or dig at him. not because he doesn’t trust you, not even because he thinks your relationship isn’t at a secure stage — but just because that’s all he knows. he doesn’t know how to respond to something lighthearted when all that he’s felt so far in his life is extremities.
“hm? what do you mean?” you ask, the teasing tone you took on dwindling upon the quick glance at how his bottom lip jutted out nervously. did everything have to be so irrevocably complicated?
scara shook his head, exhaling a small sigh before he just let the matter drop naturally. he didn’t have time for stuff like this. he’d like to think he knows you well enough to recognise when you’re simply teasing him, but that fact alone isn’t enough to make that ache in his heart go away.
he just needs a minute break. and perhaps for you to sneak into bed with him so you can cuddle him from behind.
LYNEY — 林尼
꒰ him not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
it’s a little difficult for lyney to say the words “i love you” to someone who’s not technically part of his family. he trusted and loved you easily, you cared for his siblings as if they were your own and even gave up your own pride to protect him; but something itching within him tells him he has no right to confess his true ardour.
lyney is nothing but a pawn with a jesters hat, using sleight of hand to remove the idea that he’s deceptive from your mind with a few whimsical flower tricks. it’s hard to allow himself to be so vulnerable and open when he knows full well that if his father found out, the disappointment would be greater than the reward.
when he’s coated in that black circus show getup, his smile broad and stance wide with confidence, he’ll reply pretty easily! after all, he had to please his audience. but, you’re not just a stranger in the crowd. you’re his beloved, someone he waits for before one of his grandeur shows as you press a kiss to his cheek as a lucky charm that he finds himself gently touching as he slowly enters the stage.
but when he’s merely lyney, a lonely kid from the house of hearth who trembles in the comfort of the dark, your mumble of: “i love you a lot, lyney,” makes him replywith a mere widened look as if a deer caught in headlights, his pale face blossoming into a rosey pink hue as he tugged down at the front of his hat to cover his eyes.
“me too.” sometimes that reply is easier and much safer for both his heart and yours than the actual words.
꒰ you not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
lyney adores how easily you find yourself saying such a phrase, even a little jealous at time at both the idea of how many people you’ve uttered it to and the fact he finds himself stumbling over his own consciousness at the idea of confessing his affections back.
he’s also a massive trickster! you pull silly and harmless pranks on each other constantly, from something dumb like switching out a singular chocolate chip cookie to a raisin one to see the astounded look on lyney’s face as he bites down to something a little more sweet like lyney throwing out roses to an audience that coincidentally create a heart.
this is certainly a much crueller prank than any of the above.
lyney was a little jumpy backstage, constantly pacing back and forth with a genuine smile on his face that you’ve rarely seen, his arms constantly stretching out in front of him as he played with the leather of his gloves tediously. lady furina was going to be watching him today, it was no wonder he wanted you to help out!
well, lynette did everything, but you’re here for something lyney said he absolutely couldn’t go without. his good luck kiss.
hearing the familiar sound of the staff shuffling around their props, lyney sauntered to you with a smile as his lips tucked behind his arms innocently. “ma moitié,” lyney hums in a chipper, melodic tune, content at simply seeing your face light up once your eyes meet his, “i’m confident in my abilities as a magician, but i think you have the answer to quelling any of my nerves. care to share some of your magic wit me?”
you grin and tilted your head off to the side, giving him an encouraging thumbs up and a much less motivating: “break leg, lyney, i believe in you.” as much as he wished to coax it out of you, he’d have to unfortunately settle for the way you leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek.
yet, although he preformed flawlessly per usual, his execution even enthralling the ever critical furina who sat up in the crowd with a leg over her knee, you notice a slight hesitation in his movements, a brief moment of distraction that only you, who knows him so well, could catch. the show eventually concludes to thunderous applause, lyney and lynette taking their final bow as he nearly sprints off once the curtains draw closed.
backstage, as the crowd's cheers still echo faintly, lyney cautiously approaches you with a more serious expression. “[name],” he begins, his tone quieter, more introspective, “did I... do something wrong?”
who knew just the slight lower pitch of someone’s voice could make your heartstrings tug unceremoniously. you know it's time to end this silly prank. shaking your head, you take a step closer. “no, lyney. you were incredible, as always — lady furina seemed exceptionally impressed.” his breath catches in his throat — that’s not really what he wanted to hear. but before he could brush it all off, you interrupt his overthinking: “and... I love you too.”
his eyes widen in surprise, then soften with relief and warmth. “you really had me there,” he chuckles, pulling you into a hug. “you're quite the trickster yourself.”
you laugh, hugging him back tightly. “i learned from the best.”
NEUVILLETTE — 那维莱特
꒰ him not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
ʚ for neuvillette it’s less about him not saying i love you, but just how convoluted and complicated he can make it seem.
ʚ whether it’s by using outdated poetry and reciting it to you without the knowledge that the terms used completely flew over your head because they’re so old, or doing something that to him is basically more intimate than physical touch like gifting you a piece of jewellery that’s imbedded with a stone most certainly toxic to humans (he got it out of a rift from khaenri’ah when it first emerged and kept it as a little token).
ʚ this man is a dragon, he’s older than the snowy mountains of dragonspine and the deadly primordial sea itself…you can’t blame him for being a little bit over the top and traditional with how he says he loves you.
ʚ it’s all courting tactics! isn’t this what you humans enjoy? no? …maybe he should ask lady furina if she has some plays from the romance genre she’d care to share, perhaps then he could learn a much more modern way of showing his affections.
ʚ he’ll say he loves you if you vocalise you’d just prefer that but…are you sure you don’t also want this embarrassingly cute cup he made to match his dragon form?
꒰ you not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
the more he thinks about it, the sadder he gets. and the sadder he gets, the rainier the heavens become. neuvillette’s pen shifted between several of his fingers as the paragraphs in front of him shifted and blurred continuously.
you didn’t reply to his i love you this morning. straight after waking up he mumbled the sweetest, “i love you,” directly into your ear with that rumbling voice of his, letting his affections linger on your skin as his nose snuggled itself safely against your neck.
and what did he get in response? a small giggle and a, “should we get ready?”
at first, he merely internalised it as a mere misstep on your part. perhaps you merely didn’t hear him, you had just woken up after all you must’ve been feeling a little groggy. that managed to ease his nerves just a little, but soon as you closed the door to his office without a chance for another i love you, he slumped into his seat with defeat.
you humans are tricky creatures and scarily good at making other overthink things that someone should be most confident on.
just the idea that he might’ve done something to upset you enough for you to not want to love him so dearly as you normally do makes the skies weep to match the mourning in his heart. you best come back this instant with your arms wide open unless you want fontaine to flood over.
he may be one of the strongest beings currently alive and awake in the land of teyvat, but his heart is rather fragile when it comes to you.
WRIOTHESLEY — 莱欧斯利
꒰ him not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
much to the dismay of wriothesley, he rarely even gets to say he loves you. between managing the fortress of meropide and his countless responsibilities that range from being a guinea pig for sigewinne’s new test trials that she calls food to ridiculous requests from inmates, expressing his feelings often takes a backseat.
you, of course, understand his position, but it doesn't stop you from sending him love letters whenever you can. your letters are filled with warmth, affection, and little anecdotes about your day, hoping they bring a smile to his face during his busy hours — and they certainly do, he adores tracing your handwriting with the back of his gloved hand.
unfortunately, your letters piled up on his desk without being read. despite him desperately wanting to respond to every little i love you, he found himself way too preoccupied with other immediate matters that required his thorough attention. every time he’d open up his drawer to find a new pen to fill out a document with, he’d shamefully glance at the stack of unread papers that were littered with hearts.
each letter was one a piece of your heart — him stashing it away protectively would be a little romantic and rather ironic given his profession, but currently it felt more like he was actively giving you the sentence of a lifetime by withdrawing his affections.
no reply comes for days.
you understand that his duties are overwhelming, but a part of you yearns for some acknowledgment, a sign that your words are reaching him. however, wriothesley is determined to rectify this, he sat down at his desk after the first calm night in a while, pulls out a sheet of paper, and begins to write.
what you receive the next day isn’t necessarily anything grandiose or swooningly romantic — but it was enough; a large bouquet of your favourite roses with a special heart shaped note attached that when you latched it off simply read: “i love you too, sweetheart.”
꒰ you not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
alas, wriothesley finally managed to carve out a free day just for you. spending the day together ultimately meant either a completely lazy morning filled with sloppy kisses shared and your warm bodies all tangled within blankets, or a date where you bask in each other’s presence.
this time, you chose the latter. you needed a little bit of a pick me up and what better than having a romantic outing with your beloved? …where you simultaneously wished to entertain yourself with a bit of mischief. who could get away with teasing the mighty duke if not you?
a day of activities left you a little exhausted, which is why wriothesley decided to share the last few setting hours of the sun by sitting on a comfy blanket near an empty, secluded beach far from the usual hustle and bustle of fontaine.
"thank you for being so patient with me," wriothesley said, his voice low and sincere. "i know it's not easy, but you mean a lot to me."
you reached out and squeezed his hand. "aww, i understand, wrio. i’m honestly just happy we get to spend time together like this at all.”
bringing your interlocked hands up to his lips, his calloused and rough ones ridden with scars and marks that told stories of their own holding yours as if made of porcelain, he pressed a few gentle kisses to your knuckles as he mumbled a sincere: “i love you, [name].”
ah the very words you’ve been waiting to drawl from his lips. stifling a chuckle, you simply smiled and nodded, letting your hand wiggle away from his grasp as your focus drifted to stare at the crashing waves cleansing the shore.
wriothesley's brow furrowed slightly, a flicker of confusion crossing his face. "did you hear me?" he asked, trying to keep his tone light. "i said, i love you."
you nodded again, keeping your expression neutral. “i heard you."
his confusion turned into amusement as both his brows raised in disappointment — were you seriously teasing him right now? wriothesley leaned in appetisingly close, searching your face for a clue for your intentions. "and?" he prompted.
swallowing down another fit of giggles, you titled your head at him all coyly, “and what?”
wriothesley puffed out a chuckle before his skilled hand quickly swooped beneath your knees and atop the small of your back to land you on his lap. “do you think you’re funny?” his muscular and scarred arms closed around your middle, keeping you firmly in place to face your trial.
“a little,” you muse before lifting yourself a little within his grasp, moving in to press a more than welcomed kiss on his cheek. “i love you too, wrio.”
“that’s what i thought.”
ARLECCHINO — 阿蕾奇诺
꒰ her not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
ʚ arlecchino loves you, she really does. but unfortunately for you, you’re not the age of the orphaned children she protects and therefore she finds it useless to constantly reassure you of such a fact.
ʚ surely if you want her to prove how much she loves you, you’d be less childish with it and simply ask for a real heart to be displayed in a glass box? she’s kidding (perhaps), but given the nature of your dynamic, she’s sure you’ve said the words “i love you” in this relationship enough to cover her half of the bargain.
“arle, i love you,” you muse, buzzing around her desk like a never satiated mosquito. yet instead of sucking blood you merely made her wish she had the heart to plug her ears to silence your relentless affection spillage. she wouldn’t dare. but for the love of the tsaritsa won’t you be good and just sit on her lap and remain quiet?
“arlechinnoo…” another whine as you carefully sit yourself on her desk, her pen quickly brushing over lines, the ferocity at which she held it made the point look as if she was scabbing the paper.
“yes, bunny?” she looked off to the side at you, her expression holding an air of royalty that was most likely non existent in her blood, but definitely seemed present in the way she held herself. maybe it was just that natural posture of arrogance?
“i love you…won’t you love me back?”
“my dear,” she placed the pen down and got up, a sight that made the two informants that stood opposite of the room with their heads hung low nervously hunch into themselves. she sauntered to you and encased your body against the edge of the desk, hands on either side of you.
“you’re surely irritating our guests with your constant noise,” that crestfallen expression of yours was something she wished she could wipe, but that sinful, pyre of pride burned within her like vengeance, making her merely tap her hand over your cheek to refocus your forlorn attention.
soon as you tilted your head, her hot breathy whisper mumbled against your ear: “stay quiet and i’ll be sure to spoil you.”
꒰ you not saying i love you back ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹
“i’ve been issued another task within fontaine, do keep yourself out of trouble even though i have little hope you’ll commit,” arlecchino teasingly mused as she nudged your hip with hers while fixing her coat. “i love you, dear — i’ll be sure to send you letters.”
arlecchino is eerily fond of the silence that came after deafening screams. the scarlet stickiness that spreads across her grim face in splatters making her instinctively lick off that sweet residue. but right now, the silence was just a testament to how good she’s been treating you.
if you think you can get away with a silly prank like this as she’s awaiting your response like a puppy begging for a bone, you must’ve forgotten who has the collar and who has the leash.
catching your chin between her thumb and forefinger, she tilts your face upwards to meet her intense stare, stern eyes blazing with naked hunger. "i asked you to not cause trouble while i’m gone, but you’ve already decided to start, have you?”
most people would crumble beneath her shimmering eyes that spoke volumes of violence, yet deeply within your own heart you know she’d carry you over mountains of skulls that crushed beneath her callous heels if it meant getting you across into fairyland.
“admit it - you crave me just as fiercely as i burn for you." she grins before flicking your forehead with her clawed fingertips. “don’t make me repeat myself or you won’t be getting any gifts from me when i return.”
that’s the real threat you were waiting for. leaving a featherlight goodbye kiss atop her lips, you smartly respond: “i love you too, and don’t forget my favourite cake!”
she rolls her eyes, finally letting you go. “wouldn’t dream of it.”
©STARYUEE do not copy, steal or repost ♡ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɪʜᴇᴀʀᴛɢᴀɴʏᴜ
wanderer x gn! reader
part 1 || part 2
"hey, i was wondering why you even wanted to send that letter to hat guy, anyways?"
it took a moment to process what kaveh said, and when you did, you felt your body freeze up. it took an unusual amount of effort to get the words out of your mouth, maybe because of how dry it suddenly felt.
"what...what do you mean letter? i don't know about any letters?! why would i, of all people, write him a letter?! " you scoffed out the last part, hoping that your haughty tone would defend you from what you were about to hear.
"UGH! first of all, spend less time around alhaitham, you're copying his mannerisms a bit too well," he exasperated. "secondly, are you having early stages of memory loss?! i'm talking about the multiple page letter you left on your desk to be sent out alongside that package for your family."
your first instinct was to yell at kaveh for even sending the letter, but then taking a moment to think, you can't help but to berate yourself over why you would even leave the letter out on your desk. thinking even further you realize that it's actually all hat guy's fault.
you've spent too many years of your life trying to stay at the top of your vahumana class only for hat guy to swoop in and tear at your efforts. the last straw was when he received the top score on the latest essay, bumping you down to second,,,for the fifth time now.
your vexation for him caused you to begin writing how he shouldn't even be in the akademiya because he just showed up one random day in the middle of the year out of nowhere. which led to how you thought that he was insufferable, especially when he discovers that he surpassed your score. which somehow led you to write about how you sometimes stare at his stupidly pretty face when you spot him at the library, about his voice which holds a tone that musicians wish they could play forever, about his hair that you imagine combing your fingers through-
"hello?! anyone present up here??" kaveh knocked at your head.
"kaveh...im so screwed."
notes: i was reading "i hope this doesn't find you" when i suddenly thought of this prompt with scara so i made up this small drabble hehe. also this is not edited, so apologizes in advance...also it's 4 am where i am...i should really sleep
❊ foolish one - inumaki toge . . silence speaks volumes, and he thinks that you can't listen for much longer.
it's not fair of him to love you like he does.
inumaki feels horrible, he really does. his affection is selfish and abominable, and it hurts to feel it. but he can't not. it's a kind of love that makes him sick. his chest burns and heaves with unspeakable words, and his nails carve half-moons into his palms with uncontained admiration.
there isn't a thing about you he doesn't love. from every sunspot to every hair on your head. he loves the cadence of your voice, and he loves the face you make when he pokes you or does something otherwise annoying. he relishes in this expression, really, because it means you noticed him, you saw him. he really is awful, for how he scrounges and scrabbles for every piece of your attention he can get. like a beggar on the street, like a moth, like a starved animal. it's pathetic, he thinks.
he feels especially selfish on sunday movie nights with all the first-years, when he steals the spot on the couch right next to you because he knows you'll fall asleep on his shoulder. he feels even worse on mornings when he hopes something like a strange sickness will befall maki so she can't go on a mission with you, and he'll get to replace her. because maki is his friend, but she's also your friend, and he'd much rather if he was your only one. and he's the most selfish on break days, where he gets into predicaments on purpose so you'll help him out.
inumaki remembers the first snow of the year, because he remembers the little stuffed animal punching him through his pocket. one of principal yaga's stuffed animals had not-so-accidentally ended up in the pocket of his winter coat, and he needed your help— not panda's, or maki's, or yuuta's— your help, to get it back to his office without being caught. oh, he loved that day. he loved the look of exasperation on your face, he loved the amusement in your eyes every time the living stuffed animal would hit him, he loved that stolen hour in your company.
the guilt is abrasive. the anguish of loving you scalds like hot tea slipt on his palms and he's sick, he has to be, because he can't get enough and at the same time it's too much. he loves you but he shouldn't, because you deserve better.
he can't love you the way you deserve. he knows it— if you know, then you probably know it. everyone probably knows it. everyone. he's so, so unfair. he's cruel to subject you through his love. you should have someone who can tell you how much they love you, instead of relying on a hand on the shoulder or a friendly shoulder during a movie. you deserve the compliments that are spoken, and not written. you deserve someone who can match your inflection, and tone, and cadence, the very parts of your voice he admires so much. someone who can your favorite songs with you. someone better, much better than him.
he thinks he's merciful for letting you go. he decides he should one night, when he hears you laughing through a door at something someone else said. because he doesn't have the words to make you laugh, and actions are never enough for him. it's an act of kindness, for how he blocks you out. for how he stops trying to steal you away, to sit next to you, to slip you notes, and make you smile. he believes it's the right thing to do, to take away your choice.
avoiding you is hard at first. cutting out an addiction to your warmth is easier said than done, but he finds that looking through you has become easier than looking at you. if he looks through you, he doesn't see the creases of your smile and the lines of your eyes that make him fall harder every time. and he thinks you don't even notice— if you do, you say not a word. inumaki thinks it makes it easier. if you said nothing, it meant you didn't notice his withdrawal. if you didn't notice, it meant you didn't like him back. and if you didn't like him back, then he never had a chance to begin with.
that is, until, the second night of summer.
for the first time in a while, it's too hot to sleep. a summer storm brews somewhere in the distance, and the humidity of the air cuts like a blade. inumaki finds himself outside, seated on the steps of the boy's dormitory, unsurprisingly thinking of you. so it's almost like he's the one who summoned you, when you appear in front of you. he didn't even hear your footsteps.
you look upset. arms crossed over your chest, dressed in a loose, too-big t-shirt and shorts. you look like you just woke up and inumaki wouldn't be surprised if that ended up being the truth, considering the late hour and the unbearable heat. you're frowning in a way that makes his chest hurt because whatever has made you upset must be the worst thing in the world, and he hates it so much, too. but then he realizes what he's feeling, purses his lips beneath his scarf, and looks away.
"can you even look at me?"
he wasn't expecting you to talk to him, let alone so bluntly. but you do, and it's your voice, the one he loves so, too much. and you're talking to him. his eyes drift towards you.
it's silent for a beat before you speak again. "did i do something?"
and oh, you sound so shattered. it's something unusual, the grief carried in your tone. it's an inflection he wishes he wasn't familiar with, but knew all too well considering the nature of your career. but nothing bad had happened, he thinks. only good. so what happened? inumaki shakes his head and tips it to the side in an inquiry, even though he wants to run to hold you. he wants to take your head in his arms and hold it to his chest and speak, and tell you it's okay, and ask what's wrong. but the best he can do is sit and stare like a dog.
you purse your lips and breathe in deeply before continuing: "then why are you ignoring me?"
his stomach plummets. he didn't think you noticed. he can't look you in the eyes anymore, and he's almost as surprised when you scoff, "oh. so i was right; you are."
he really, really can't look at you. he settles for the bush just behind you that blows with a pleasant cold breeze carried through the hot summer night as you keep on talking. "i was hoping i was imagining it. but you aren't even pretending?"
he sits still, like a statue. and you must be so hurt because you have a million more words to say, it seems, as you steamroll over his silence. "and i thought we were friends. a whole year of this school— you'd think it'd make us friends. but now— out of nowhere— you act like i'm not even here. what did i do? and to think—"
you pause. your voice is cracked, shaky. you don't know what else there is left to say, except for the truth: "and to think that i liked you back."
his back stiffened. his eyes meet yours. a shiver passes through him, and it's suddenly freezing cold. inumaki blinks at you. you glare at him. "yuuta told me everything," you state bluntly.
yuuta, the one person to whom inumaki had admitted his feelings. of course he told you. he was too good to lie about something like this. inumaki feels the fabric of the world around him rip and shred like it's been dropped in a cat's cradle, a vice grip squeezes the air out of his lungs, and for the first time, he has nothing he wants to say, even if he could.
"you decided for me," you continue after a short lapse, "decided that you weren't good enough. but you didn't even think about what i would've wanted."
he is silent. you keep speaking, unshed tears scratching your words into sharp, snappy sentences.. "i would've liked you no matter what. no matter your technique, or fucking whatever. i did. i do. but you chose for me."
he hopes he's seeing things when a tear, illuminated by the moonlight, slides down the apple of your cheek before you wipe at your face with your palm. you conclude, "it wasn't fair. for me, or for you."
unceremoniously, briskly, you turn and leave. it happened almost as quickly as you'd appeared. if he blinked, he'd have missed it. the pit in his stomach is growing deeper and consuming him whole.
inumaki cannot say a word. he can't move, to chase after you. he can't do anything but sit, and stare, and watch you go. he can't breathe, he can't think, he can't picture a future where it all works out because he doesn't know if it will.
loving you was unfair. he didn't deserve you, he knows. but leaving you was worse.
flowers chosen: belladonna & columbine . . silence and foolishness
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