Panic Attack

Panic attack

Summary: The ghost helps you during a panic attack.

pairing: ghost x reader

(Author's note:this is the first time i post a fic in english, besides being the first one i'm posting on tumblr. Hope you like it.)

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"Heart racing, palms sweating cold, chest pain, severe vertigo... Just a few signs of a panic attack. It wasn't normal for something like that to happen, and when it did, at most you could feel your palms starting to sweat.

At that moment, you were in your room, lying on the cold floor while hugging your own knees and breathing hard, trying and failing miserably to calm down.

The reason? To your surprise, your mentor, the man who made you one of the best agents in the 141, was on base. You were told that he had been there for some time to assist with some missions. Why so afraid? Why get so scared and panic?

From the age of fifteen to twenty-three, you were tormented and used to being beaten, punched and kicked, mostly in the face, stomach and ribs, often drugged to create resistance. The list was still long, he made you lose your fear of many things and also become afraid of many things, and one of those things was him. Seeing his face, hearing his voice and even feeling his hand on your shoulder was enough to make you sick. you believed that you would be away from him, that you would never need to see his face again, but no, it seems that you would not get rid of him so soon. Soap noticed that you didn't seem well right off the bat, he tried to talk to you, but at the time it wasn't something you needed, you were so out of control it was possible you'd end up punching Mactavish in the face. Price also noticed, he was practically like a father to you, and obviously he cared like one. And at the moment you wouldn't want to talk to him right now.

The truth was that you believed that you could and that you should deal and face it alone, your mentor made you believe that, that you didn't need anyone's help.

As you tried to normalize your breathing, you heard a knock on the door, followed by a very familiar voice.

— I know you're not okay. I'll go in.

Ghost...The last person you expected to come after you.

— No... You can't come in!

—I didn't ask your permission, Sergeant.

His voice resounded almost like the rumble of thunder. And in that moment, you were stupid not to lock the door. When you saw the doorknob start to be turned, you quickly got up and ran towards the door, when Simon soon started to enter, you pushed him out, but it was useless, he was bigger and stronger, and easily entered the room, closing the door behind him. Giving up, you returned to sit on the floor again, soon putting one of your hands on your face, then sighing shakily. You knew he was looking at you, analyzing and seeing your state. He already knew what you were feeling, and he clearly understood that you weren't willing to talk at the moment. You started to press your nails against the back of his hand, it started to hurt without even realizing it, but he noticed.

Without warning, The ghost grabbed your wrist, which startled you and slapped his hand away.

— DO NOT TOUCH ME!

The two of you made eye contact before Ghost grabbed your wrists and pulled you into a hug, pulling you close so you had your back to him, making it impossible for you to hit or kick him. his strong arms held you, pressing your back against his chest as you struggled and tried to break free of him, you failed miserably.

— DÉJAME IR HIJO DE PUTA!

You cursed him. It wasn't out of malice, but you felt in complete despair.

— I'm only going to let you go when I think it's okay.

— LET ME GO!

— We've been through this before, remember?...

Yep, you had a panic attack on one of your first 141 missions. You were trapped in a small enemy base by yourself, having to deal with a bunch of enemies on your own. When your companions finally managed to enter the place, the first to find you was Simon. You were hurt, tired, bloodstained, but still full of adrenaline, and for a while it almost didn't kill him, and in an attempt to calm you down, he hugged you and held you until he passed out from exhaustion. He wouldn't do it for just anyone, but he saw the terror in you, and he needed to keep you from hurting yourself and others, and the last thing you needed was to be treated like a rabid animal in that state.

— take a deep breath Sunshine.

It was almost like calming to hear him call you Sunshine, a nickname he gave when he realized that you liked to spend hours looking at the sunset, even though Soap called you by that name more often, whenever Simon called it, it sounded much better. Ghost wasn't the type to show feelings or be the most outgoing guy in the world, but during your friendship, he started to show more sentimentality to calm you down at times, and now it was time for that.

— You don't have to tell me anything now, I won't make you... But I'll stay here until you calm down, scream if you want, cry yourself to sleep, I'll stay here, and no one will hurt you, you have my word.

— I...I can't...he's...going to hurt me...I can't go back...I can't, I can't, I can't, I CAN'T!

— I already said that nobody will hurt you, you are safe here, nobody will take you. I wouldn't allow that.

— please...let me go...I won't...I won't do anything...

— you want to do something, i know that...tell me what it is, and then i'll think about letting you go.

— I...I...I need...a hug

Hugging wasn't a strong point in your friendship. Sometimes to comfort or calm you, he would touch your shoulder or put his hand on your face to make you look into his eyes. In your words, in your tone of voice, it was already clear how much you needed a hug. Then very slowly, he let go of your wrists, and then you turned to him and hugged him. Reluctantly, he put one arm on your back and the other behind your head, which made you feel safe. Your face was buried in his shoulder, and Simon felt that you were shaking, that you were crying silently.

"Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you"

You don't know how long you stayed there, you don't know when you fell asleep, you just remember falling asleep in Ghost's arms. He noticed and carefully took you in his arms and laid you down on the bed, and before moving away to cover you with the blanket, he felt you were still holding his hand. He knew you would fall into despair if you woke up and didn't see him, not least because of what you said about being "taken away". The masked figure then let go of itself lightly and covered you with the blanket, then taking one of the books from your shelf and sitting in a chair there, hoping you would wake up soon.