Littlemissfix-itfic - Little Miss Fix-it

I’m sobbing because all Sam wants is to be safe and happy and he wants that for his big brother too. And his big brother plays this big, unafraid persona, a persona that belts out Bon Jovi songs as he drives to his death under the guise of skipping the sappy emotional moments. When really his strong, protective, awesome big brother who is brave and selfless and so so good and not afraid of anything, is terrified. He’s scared that everything he touched he ruins and that he is the reason everything seems to turn to shit, and he’s scared that he’s not good enough, and that he’s going to make it worse. He’s terrified, but he asks to sing Dead or Alive instead to take Sammy’s mind off of how scary it is, and he plays along until Sam is into it enough that he doesn’t notice his fear. He’s scared to love and lose and he’s scared because he truly believes that he is inherently bad. But Sammy takes care of him. His brave big brother, who carries the weight of the world, who would carry much more if it meant Sam didn’t have to, he makes sure that when his nerves flare up, he is grounded and can find his breath. He keeps him steady, stable, and calm. He looks out for his brave big brother, who was more of a father, and a better father to him than John ever was, because that’s what they do for each other. They take care of each other.

sam helps Dean with his deep breathing exercises every time he’s anxious. if U even care

The Bad Days

Dean Winchester, who holds the weight of the world on his shoulders, who is self-sacrificial, who hides his anguish between snarky sarcastic jokes and a flirty, I-know-I'm-hot smirk, who is protective and loyal to those he loves to a fault, is not immune to bad days. In fact, Dean has them frequently, but the bad days, and I mean the really bad days, where the weight he holds and tries to shoulder alone finally comes crashing down on him, and all he can think about are the people he couldn't save, and the people he thinks he's failed all flash through his mind, and all the ways he's let down the people that matter most to him are all that he can see when he takes in his desolate reflection, are the days that he falters, and the days where he needs you the most. Those days that he pushes everyone away the most, those are the bad days I'm talking about.

Sometimes they'll start off ordinarily, or as ordinarily as a day in the life of a Winchester, or of a hunter, can. Those are the days when the angish sneaks below his feet, circling in the shadows and ensnaring him on Sam's pointed jab, or a flash of deja-vu as he catches a glimpse of a face that looks like someone he couldn't save. The days that start off mundane for Dean are the ones where the hair trigger could be anything from a misinterpreted joke, to a hunt gone sour, could send him into a spiral that would take even the strongest archangel out of commission for months at a time. Other times, the days will start with a heart-stopping jolt, with a cold sweat drenching the back of his shirt. On days when his morning starts with a anxiety-riddled, gasp as he stretches his arm across the bed, desperate to find the grounding comfort of your sleeping form beside him, he is surly and mean, and does everything in his power to isolate himself and push everyone away. Not out of a vindictive anger, but out of a deep-rooted self-loathing that makes him believe that he deserves this pain, that he deserves to be forgotten, abandoned, and hated by the people he holds dearest.

These are the days where he needs you most. Don't get me wrong, he wants you, and needs you every day, but when he's in a spiral, on the days where even basic kindness seems like something he doesn't even deserve to dream about, these are the days that he needs all of your love and concern. All of the worry that he teasingly tells you is wasted on a strong man like him, that he gets into shouting matches with Sam and Castiel over because damnit he is not an incapable child!

So on days like that, hold him a little tighter. Dote on him a little more. Tell him that you love him, and that he deserves kindness and love and he is not evil, hell he's not even bad. Remind him that for every mistake he's made, he's fixed a hundred others, and for every person he feels he's failed, he's save a thousand more.

On days when Dean Winchester feels like the world would be better off had he never been born, remind him how glad you are that he was. Remind him of how loved he is, and cuddle a little closer to him, and pretend not to notice the way your shirt grows damp when he buries his head in your shoulder and finally, finally lets himself feel, lets himself cry.

hey so like

hi, you. yeah im talking to you. You like my stuff from time to time and reblog once and a while, and I always recognize you in my notes. we’ve never talked, maybe you dont like to say much or you’re nervous or something. it’s okay, whatever it is. 

I see you. you mean a lot to me. sometimes when I’m having a hard day, I’ll notice your name once again in my notifs and it makes me smile. im not kidding.

I don’t care if you’re a “ghost” follower or you send me asks all the time. i see you and I love you so much, genuinely and truly. you are really important to me. 

thank you. thank you for being there. <3

I’m about to write something so fuckin sad…

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thank you again for your patience. as always, any reblogs are incredibly helpful, any donation is greatly appreciated, and i will never *expect* anyone to help.

i hope everyone is doing well

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THIS SAVES ME SO MUCH GRIEF OMG

So, let me guess– you just started a new book, right? And you’re stumped. You have no idea how much an AK47 goes for nowadays. I get ya, cousin. Tough world we live in. A writer’s gotta know, but them NSA hounds are after ya 24/7. I know, cousin, I know. If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…

You’re in luck, cousin. I have just the thing for ya.

It’s called Havocscope. It’s got information and prices for all sorts of edgy information. Ever wondered how much cocaine costs by the gram, or how much a kidney sells for, or (worst of all) how much it costs to hire an assassin?

I got your back, cousin. Just head over to Havocscope.

((PS: In case you’re wondering, Havocscope is a database full of information regarding the criminal underworld. The information you will find there has been taken from newspapers and police reports. It’s perfectly legal, no need to worry about the NSA hounds, cousin ;p))

Want more writerly content? Follow maxkirin.tumblr.com!

Awe thanks for the tag!!! I'm late to the party ofc lol!

Last Song: Enter Sandman by Metallica

Currently Watching: Supernatural, JJK & Criminal Minds!

Current Obsession: spn & soap making (specifically Royalty Soaps)

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currently watching: iZombie

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DBSBSUIEIEH BOKUTO WITH PLDER SISTERS BRAIN ROT IS BACK SHDHEIEI AS SOON AS IM NOT FIGHTING WITH DEBILITATING WRITERS BLOCK THERE WILL BE SO MUCH SHIT I HAVE TO SAY

something so important to me for no reason is that msby 4 all have siblings !! but also they must have WILDLY different sibling experiences and relationships. like atsumu is of course a twin, hinata is the an older bro, bokuto is such a younger girl brother, and this isn't really confirmed but i always think sakusa's older siblings have a big age gap with him. so sometimes one of them will be like "only people with siblings understand" and they'll all collectively agree. but sometimes one of them will be like "oh you guys have siblings you get it right" and the others are like what the actual fuck are you talking about. like atsumu's the type to be like "lol me and samu chased each other around w a knife yk sibling things ! " or mention twin telepathy and the others are like no what. hinata is the only one who gets what it's like to be an older sibling (atsumu interjects that he does too since he's the older twin but he's full of shit). bokuto and sakusa being so obviously the youngest child. atsumu knowing absolutely nothing about women and bokuto knowing the most.

All I need to see in the revival is Dean singing dramatically to his music in their kitchen and Sam giving up on explaining the next hunt to either of them because Cas is looking so affectionately at Dean that Sam announces he needs to go hurl.

For all my fic lovers

I was today years old when I learned that when you type “otp: true” in AO3 search results it filters out fics with additional ships, leaving only the fics where your otp is the main ship