I Feel Like He Definitely Isn’t My Soulmate, However, I’m Going To Keep Chasing After Him Because

not really praying

talking to god in vowels but its too soft to make a difference

most prayers are shaped as consonants sharp-edged, crowded or out of place

I’m not really praying though, more like hoping ( I don’t like to throw things at intangible notions )

innocent wishes fluttering in the air, soft ducklings swimming in a deep black lake

most of these will be blown away or drowned

for the rest of them I provide my own securities

Untitled (the Birth) Artist: Kusum Ketkar. Painted in 1937. Watercolor on paper. Signed and dated ‘kusum ketkar / 1937’ lower right. 20 ⅝ x 13 ⅜ in. (52.4 x 34.1 cm.) (via Sotheby’s)

He calls for me and

I disperse into butterflies

I yearn for him

He turns to sunshine.............

*the man who taught me love, taught me pain*

everytimeyousaygoodbye ©

“Suddenly I needed my heart in a hurry. I offered it to you, cold and dripping, incompletely thawed. You didn’t even wash its blood from your fingertips. As it numbed them, you asked me to kiss your hands.”

— Carolyn Kizer, excerpt of “What the Bones Know” in Cool, Calm and Collected

I fell asleep and into your arms

Lying there luxuriating in bed

In each other; raptly willing to watch those eyes

--More than anything any app could stream--

Surface rippling rivetingly

Intimating all that teems beneath

Yet somehow riveted on me

Heart-racing soul-stirring

Embracing as the flame burns hotter

Stroking innocently until the intent

Gains in momentum, in urgency

Only we're not alone, witnesses surround

So we furtively glance around tickling

Ears with our murmurings

Plotting to sneak away...our stares

And sighs asking, why wait?

They matter too but not as much

As we do, as our untamable

Urges do, at this moment

If this be no more than a one-time

Wonderful dream detour

Another almost--but a bittersweet

Tantalizing taste

Would it be better preserved

That way or a crying shame waste?

Will I ever even have a say

When awake?

“In generosity and helping others, be like a river. In compassion and grace, be like the sun. In concealing others’ faults, be like the night. In anger and fury, be as if you have died. In modesty and humility, be like the earth. In tolerance, be like the sea. Appear as you are, or be as you appear.” -Rumi

iwa likes missionary not only because he gets to see your pretty face, but also because he likes to see your internal struggle as he pushes your legs to your chest, your eyebrows furrowing as you’re torn between telling him it’s ‘too much’ and begging him for more.

“I can love only what I can place so high above me that I cannot reach it.”

— Franz Kafka

“Find someone who makes you realize three things: one, that home is not a place, but a feeling. Two, that time is not measured by a clock, but by moments. And three, that heartbeats are not heard, but felt and shared.”

—

𝙳𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝟼, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟹 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟶-𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟹