A man with a pretty face and a slutty waist.
oops
No guillotine could stop the head I’m gonna give him
Rick, talking to Negan: And this is our village idiot—
You: Hey! I will fight you Grimes
You, tripping over your feet immediately:
Negan:
Rick:
You, face first on the ground: That doesn't count as a forfeit
You have that one photo with Matt?
Im just courios
yea it was dm’d to me but i dont wanna spread the deepfake around, i feel like its invading privacy and stuff so i wont be posting it or dming people it sorry
trans women r literally so cool theu get tits AND a prostate?? i thought only markilpler could do that
I NEED HIM!! SO BAD
can u plsss write a Matt smut where the reader is like obsessed with his teeth and then she kind of jokes ab licking his teeth but shes not actually joking and then u know the rest
authors note: this was so fun to write. here’s some kind of soft, lust filled bff!matt turned lovers.
warnings: fem reader, not obscene or 18+ but read at your own discretion. a lot of dialogue, light biting, mark leaving, explicit language.
you just can't stop staring at your best friend. all he's doing is chewing on a paper straw, swirling it around his soft drink. his eyes are glued to his screen, scrolling through his phone, both of his elbows planted on the dining table.
"i can feel you staring," matt talks with the straw still in his mouth, flashing his perfect teeth with a conceited smirk. you scoff, digging your fork back into the dessert that sits in front of you, to avoid the interrogation you feel coming your way.
"i didn't say stop," you feel his eyes burn holes into you, tone earnest and deep, just waiting for you to glance up at him again.
"wasn't even staring," you speak through a muffled mouthful of cake, not caring if he sees the food in your mouth. he's the closest person in your life, he's probably seen worse.
"real sexy, kid" he teases, staring at your mouth and chuckling as you cover it to swallow your food, flipping him off from across the table.
"no for real, what were you looking at? like be specific," he asks, placing his phone screen down on the table, shuffling in his chair and adjusting his posture. you raise an eyebrow at him, wondering what the hell he's on about.
"i can't just admire my best friend?" you sarcastically smile and bat your eyelashes at him, resting your chin into the palm of your hands.
"specifics, go." matt isn't having it, and you drop the act fast.
you ponder on your answer for a moment, or at least pretend to. you know exactly what you want to say but you don't need him getting a big head. well, bigger. he's a walking, talking, humble brag. especially around you.
"ah, okaaaay," you pout your lips with contemplation.
"your eyes i guess. they're pretty. you know that, though" you shrug, prodding at your dessert again, not having any intention on finishing it at this point. matt has you cornered with his new train of thought.
"boring, next." he deadpans, throwing his head back with an eye roll before looking at you again. he folds his arms over his chest, leaning back leisurely.
"fine. ah, your teeth. i'm like obsessed with them. is that a better answer?" you quip, grabbing your plate and pushing away from the table to make your way to the sink.
you hear matt behind you let out an audible "huh?" and can picture the confusion on his face. you don't know what it is about his teeth, or his smile in general. you just get stunned at how perfect they are, the way they just suit his face so much.
they just look like they could form the perfect bite in your skin. he's always chewing a new flavoured gum, flashing them subtly past his perfectly pink lips, and his breath always smells nice. it's weirdly inviting. all thoughts you absolutely shouldn't be having about matthew.
"hang on, rewind. my teeth?" there's an amused underlining to his response, and you just wish you could take back what you said, joke or not.
you rinse the plate off and immediately ignore him, drying your hands with paper towel before bee-lining for the bin in the small dark corner of the room.
"you got your answer, matthew. get over it," you exhale, tossing it into the black rubbish bag.
"no no, i'm not done with you yet," you hear his chair make a disturbing scratchy squeak against the vinyl floors with how fast he pushes his chair back, following where your body is moving.
you walk around the dining table in the opposite direction of him, but he changes directions to match yours. you collapse onto the couch, sitting cross legged and he falls into the spot right next to you, despite having the entire couch. your shoulders are touching and his knee his touching yours.
"you were staring at my teeth and now i need to know why," matt requests, leaning one elbow up on the back of the couch, facing you completely.
"i can't answer tha-"
"y/n" he cuts you off seriously.
"i don't know, okay? drop it, matthew." you push back with frustration, not understanding why he can't. it's either he's pushing your buttons on purpose or he can sense the subject easily taking a turn in a different direction.
"i'm not trying to piss you off. i just wanted know. sorry" his voice softens, and he shifts so he's facing the t.v.
you almost feel bad snapping at him, considering you instigated his reaction in the first place by not justifying it straight away.
you bite your nails, trying to avoid talking. it's so hard with matt. he just always brings it out of you. looking at him while he watches the screen ahead of you just makes you yearn to hear his voice again. he's so quiet for the most part that when you get him out of his shell you don't ever want him to stop.
"i've always liked your teeth. i don't know what it is. i wish i could explain it but i can't," you speak shyly, a very rare feeling around him.
you have literally shared every waking thought with this man. it just feels so different when it involves him personally. on a physical descriptive level. matt leans his head back on the massive couch cushion, giving you a lazy half grin, looking up at you through hooded eyes.
"do you just like staring at them or do you wanna like, touch them?" he flashes his teeth like a vampire, and you push his face away with a laugh, knowing he's teasing with good intention. he chuckles, pushing your own hand back into your body.
"you're never gonna let me live this down, are you?"
"not until i can wrap my head around it, no" he folds his arms over his chest, tucking his hands into his armpits and they disappear under his oversized hoodie, snickering at his own defence.
he looks you in the eyes, the same fiery stare he gives you when he's about to say something out of pocket, you can read him like a book.
"you wanna touch 'em?"
"matt," you scold, knowing whatever he has planned is just to keep this joke lingering. or what you think is a joke to him.
"i'm serious, let's see if we can get to the bottom of this little fetish of yours" he's so pleased with his words, grinning like an idiot as he nestles his face closer to yours.
"i'd get more pleasure out of it with my tongue," you chortle, then pause suddenly, not believing what you just said out loud.
you force your face to plaster a look on it that says 'i'm joking' but there's no part of what you just said that matt is taking comically.
"go on." matt replies.
"what's gotten into you, tonight?" you have a half simper half befuddled look as you lean back to make sure you're seeing him right.
making sure you're speaking to matt, not someone posing as him with how bold and absurd he's been acting for the past few minutes. he's always being flirtatious, in a bantering and unalloyed manner. this felt different, he's being a lot more direct. a lot less blithe.
"i am literally giving you one chance to do this and then i'm never bringing it up again. take it or leave it, y/n"
"open your mouth, then.” you say in a ‘i bet you won’t’ tone, not believing he actually will. you’re taken aback when he tilts his head up lightly, an innocent look on his face when he parts his mouth, creating a perfect oval.
“you’re seriously okay with this?” you ask, beginning to lean forward, tempting and just waiting for the moment he pulls away, or snaps his mouth closed. he nods, mouth still open.
you know him well enough by now to understand that when matt says he’ll never mention it again, he means it. he’s petty like that.
“fuck it, m’god” you mumble, cupping the side of his jaw, fingertips resting under his ear and being tickled by his hair, pulling him to you.
your breaths intertwine as you hover over his mouth, your lips don’t touch when you poke your tongue out and let it slide behind his top teeth and trail across the sharp edge, slowly, left to right. when you pull away, you observe him.
matt closes his mouth, sucking his teeth and plastering a thoughtful look on his face. you wait for his response.
“well?” you can only wait for so long before you’re trying to entice him to say something, anything.
he adjusts himself on the lounge, full body facing you at this point, if he was pushed up any closer he’d be on top of you.
“just like, out of curiosity. can you do it again?” he asks bashfully. he did say take it or leave it. so you take it, while he’s dangling it in front of you.
this time, you curve your hand gently around the back of his neck to guide his face. tilting your head slightly before pulling him in. you lick the back of the teeth again, even slower than the first time. you can feel matt holding his breath, and the taste of the root beer he just had still lingering.
matt takes a deep breath when you part from him again, flaring his nostrils slightly and sucking on the inside of his cheek. he looks confused, in a content way. but confused nonetheless.
you stare at him, memorising this look on his face. without breaking his stare with you, matt reaches for a pillow and throws it over his lower body, holding it in place. before he has a chance to set it onto his lap, you glance down to see the bulge forming under his black shorts.
“did you like my tongue in your mouth, matthew?” your words are jovial, but he turns away from you after you question him, looking quite literally anywhere else.
“no-i,i mean. fuck, i don't know. no." he rambles, response being faster than his brain can even register, not pulling out the best choice of words from his vocabulary.
“no? is that why you let me do it twice?” you tease, turning the table on him.
"you're right," he pauses.
"maybe we should make it three. for good luck." he looks back at you with a red hue on his cheeks, simpering smile pulling at the corner of his mouth as he hugs the pillow on his lap.
"only if you ask nicely," you squint your eyes, and he rolls his.
"i'm not beggin' for it. no way." he shakes his head, boston accent coming through a lot thicker when he's defensive. it happens a lot, and that's how you know you have him cornered.
"your call, matty. take it or leave it." the front you're putting on for him is a fraud, having a gut feeling that it's the only cue he needs to surrender. he's silent for a solid minute.
"fuck, jesus, okay." he finishes, grabbing your face this time. he caresses your jaw, and his touch is so firm and so warm.
the pillow between your bodies is like a barrier, but he pushes up against it hard to bring you as close to his face as you can. you brace yourself for him to open his mouth again, but instead, your lips collide.
your eyes close instinctively and his soft, wet lips move with yours, taking your bottom lip between the kiss, and letting his tongue slide in and dance across your own. slowly he pulls away, fluttering inches over your mouth instead of distancing himself.
"i don't know, i don't know why i just-" matt is still touching your face through his panic-stricken words.
you don't even counter his sentence before grabbing the collar of his hoodie and pulling him back to your mouth. you shove the pillow off the lounge in-between your bodies with your knee while shifting your body weight onto his lap, an easy transition considering how close you've been the whole time.
matt grabs your waist immediately, securing you on top of him and deepening the kiss. you feel your throat shake with his small, desirous moan into your mouth. you sink all of your body weight onto him and can feel his dick underneath you growing harder, heat radiating from between his legs.
the kiss becomes heavier, more desperate and messy, missing each others mouths and clashing your teeth, taking breaths for a split second before attacking each other's lips again. your nails dig into his shoulders and matt's hands lower, stationing on your upper thigh.
you're in such a state of disbelief but ignore every doubt or worry you're forcing yourself to have. you've mentally convinced yourself this is a dream. you're not actually grinding into your bestfriend's groin, making out with him and having his thumbs get closer and closer to your heat, feeling wet already at the friction.
matt kisses the corner of your mouth, your cheek bone, the tip of your nose, then your jaw. he trails the kisses on your jaw lower and lower, grazing his teeth along your delicate skin until he reaches he crease of your neck just under your ear, and you lean into him as much as you possibly can.
"you like my teeth so much, wait until you see what they can do to your neck," he forces deeply against your skin, biting at your earlobe.
"god, matt," you exhale.
you feel a sharp, stinging suck to your neck, making you gasp. he pulls your skin into his mouth, tongue rubbing the area that he's suffocating in his bite. he pulls away, making a sharp sound when he lets go. he repeats the same thing just underneath his first bite, and your body is twisting and distorting in his arms. you tug at his hair with a warning.
"you’re gonna have to explain those marks." you tremble, yet not stopping him. he taunts a stifled laugh.
"don't care," he starts, pulling your shirt off your shoulder and sucking another deep purple mark on your collar bone.
"i'll spell my name out on your skin if i have to." it’s like he’s a trance, trailing his middle finger along the bites he just left before looking up at you with a dazed smile.
his chest is rising and falling prominently, both of you catching your breath after the intense session. matt gently presses his lips to yours again, and you lean your forehead against his. he grips at the bottom hem of your shirt, toying with the fabric.
"if i knew my teeth would get you on top of me, i would have let you lick em' sooner," he has a crooked, dopey grin on his face. you blush, flustered at his words.
"is this is insane? you don't think you're gonna regret it?" you're cautious with your words, voice gentle, head still leaning against his and your fingers playing with the hair creeping on the nape of his neck.
"i could never regret you." he shakes his head softly, making you smile and peck another gentle kiss on his lips. you know he means his words, and they make you want to melt into a puddle.
"smile for me quickly," you banter, holding onto his shoulders but pulling back to look at his face properly.
he covers his face with his big hands and you let out a hearty laugh, attempting to pry them off and begging him to stop hiding.
"matt! you'll let me shove my tongue down your throat but can't smile for me?" your stomach hurts with the laughter caused by the sheer fight he's putting up covering his face.
when you finally get him to drop his hands he has the biggest, cheesiest grin on his face. smiling ear to ear, and eyes closed shut, putting on a show for you. he drops his face quickly once you've had your time to look, and has those signature tired and heavy eyes make an appearance once again.
you lean in, slowly, so slow. your face is drawing him in like a magnet, him following your moves to meet in the middle. he flashes his teeth once again, and you run the tip of your tongue across his bottom lip, feeling his teeth too, budging his mouth open.
"now you're just taking advantage of it," his raspy voice speaks, pulling you back to his mouth by your neck and leading with his tongue, letting it slide in and moaning into your parted lips. they finally sink into each others after teasing each other, seeing who falls into the kiss first.
your tongues fight for dominance and matt grabs the back of your neck hard, forcing you to stay where you are. you're tilting left and he's tilting right as you focus on breathing through your nose to stay attached to each other as long as you can.
you can literally feel matt take his time to explore your mouth, circling every inch he possibly can. he takes your bottom lip between his teeth and bites hard, making you gasp before pulling back and letting go, both of your mouths wet and glistening with each others saliva.
matt wipes your mouth with his thumb, applying enough pressure but still being gentle. he's staring at your skin before his eyes fixate on those marks he left earlier.
"oh fuck, they're pretty bad" he giggles, and you roll off his lap with a groan, slapping your hand over your neck as if to hide them from him. your legs drape over his thighs and you can feel him looking at you.
you hide from him by sinking into the lounge for no good reason other than you think somehow it'll make the marks disappear, or manifest that it does.
"i didn't even bring makeup to cover it," you fake cry, seeing how bad it could make him feel, but he doesn't budge. matt slaps your thigh as if to say 'i'm not buying it' then rubs your legs soothingly.
"you're not covering them up. i won't let you leave the house if you do, no other option." matt is demanding but lighthearted in his words.
"oh no, i can't leave, what a shame," you dramatically flail your hand to your temple like an old school movie scene, and matt pokes your rib to get you to snap out of it.
"if you ever want to see my teeth again i'd watch the dramatics, honey" and those words coming from him alone make you cut the act, flushing red and sitting up properly.
you don't know how he's managed to whip you into line, usually being the other way around, but you're not risking it.
you've somehow taken more than you could ever ask for from him, and you're still anxious that you've bitten off more than you can chew. no pun intended.
regardless, you're in ignorant bliss. you'll take everything you can get from matt, and more, if he's willing to give it to you. which at this point, you're sure he is.
my bisexual ass is having a heart attack are you fucking kidding me. get this shit off my screen right now before i combust.
would it be possible to make boom whackers out of bones if you hollowed then out
notes: this took me days. i am going BLIND plz show sum love &&&&& hey——— come talk to me ! (btw this type of editing/social media aus have been around for ages- credit goes to the person who came up with it first!!)
yourusername
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yourusername happy 20th my boys. thank u for driving me around and feeding me and being the greatest airbnb hosts when i be acting up … 🦌🦌🦌🤍 love you always.
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christophersturniolo love you freak
sturniolohens their friendship >>
nicksfries i love them
mattsturns cant wait for the ship tiktoks 😩
sturniolotrippies THE MATCHING TSHIRTS WITH MATT ARE YOU KIDDING US Y/N
yourusername i be getting that bag anything for my dawgs
christophersturniolo @yourusername where’s the one of you were wearing my boxers
nicolassturniolo HELL NAH
matthew.sturniolo 🩷🏇🏻
sturnsfilm the pink heart are you jokingjfjfjfjjff 😔😔😔
mattsplaylist PINK HEART 😩
mattsturniyolo THE HORSE???
chrisraress i feel like they’re all best friends but matt and y/n have a different kinda friendship its so pure 🤍
hoeslovesturniolos the last slide lmfao TRUE they saved my life
mattscarkeys matt girls were winning look at that stubble
nicolassturniolo love you alwayssss 🧚♀️💛💚🧡❤️🩷
yourusername guys stop thirsting this is a thirst free account!
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nathandoe8 😐
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yourusername WHEN!
nicolassturniolo @matthew.sturniolo
yourusername @nicolassturniolo girl gtfo!!!! 😡
mattsbelly YO WHAT??? WHY THE MATT TAG
ynsnosepiercing WHAT DID WE MISS
yourusername
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yourusername i lvoe crazy bitchsees 😍⏰🪩🐎🦋 !!!◡̈!! guys i went skiing for the first time as well- can u tell :-)))…
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madifilipowicz ur soooo 🥹🥹🥹🦩🩷🦋🍬🍬🍩🌈
yourusername 🪐🩷 love ya forever !
mattscarkeys shy introverted and weird….. someone’s cookin’
sammydawson let them cook bae
chrissassturniolo yk who’s shy and introverted and weird?
gimmemystaaaaff DONT SAY IT she’ll block us atp 😂
nicolassturniolo my gawwwwd 🦋🦋🦋
larray okay i see you 😍
matthew.sturniolo Can I borrow the green shoes
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matthew.sturniolo 🤭
ynslipgloss DARLING !!!
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yourusername yeahhh the mona lisa ayyyyyy
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leclercftsturn is this matt’s burner account?? lol
megamatthew44 tears on my thighs frrrr
matthew.sturniolo
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matthew.sturniolo Huge toothpick fan
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christophersturniolo 👊🏻😊
nathandoe8 clean
mattstoothpick MAAAAATTTTTT 😍😍😍😍
nicksdirtysocks GOD ITS ME AGAINNNNN
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yourusername on gawd babygirl ☺️🤍🐎🩷
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gayhorsegirl Y/N 🤭🤭🤭🤭🙃 wtf
beerpongchris y/n’s intrusive thoughts winning again
ynseeyore girl 🌝
nicolassturniolo @yourusername …let’s get you to bed grandma 🙂
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yourusername new year new me xo
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nicolassturniolo it’s February
yourusername go be a hater somewhere else
madisonbeer im in love with u 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🐑
mattlovebot MY WIFEEEEEEE
christophersturndaily HER
ynskitten drive thru with that dress hits hard
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ynsparkour EVERYONE STAY CALM !!!!!!
christophersturniolo y/n, don't listen to the haters. I love you, and you love me. We do not owe anyone anything. Our family is who matters. If you get likes and good comments great, if you get hate then whatever because THEY DON'T MATTER. I love you💕
yourusername 😳 bye
matthew.sturniolo What family are you talking about bro
ynslovebot chris so unserious byeeee 🤣
nickstrniolo matt has no clue about the reference i love this
matthew.sturniolo ❤️❤️🐎🐎🦩🌠🌷🌍🌍🌍
gracewee bro keysmashing
mattscup calm down my dude 😳
sturnioloteam matt we get it and we agree
thesturnioloos someone said matt’s fighting for his dear life in the comments section and i can’t stop laughing xjxjjdjxhdhshsydhdysytssg
matthew.sturniolo I love you 🤟🏼