Theres A Big Difference Between “sorry, I Have A Girlfriend.” And “no, I Have A Girlfriend.”

is this not the most babygirl shit you've ever seen (9:25)

girls in love with matty b who think about these videos before going to sleep 🩵

real.

you should be allowed to be fully tits out on twitch

like what the actual fuck he’s like getting sexier by the second, THE SILVER JEWELLERY AND THE BLACK FIT?!? HELLO

I’M SALIVATING, FOAMING AT THE MOUTH, BITING MY LIP TO THE POINT OF BLEEDING, CLOSING MY LEGS TO AVOID LOUD AND AGGRESSIVE PURRING

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."

"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. YThey wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

"I have powerful wizard magics."

Gets them every time

Tumblr really has ruined me. I was in a Rite-Aid and "out of touch" came on over the speakers, and I freaked out a bit because I thought I had missed my thursday morning meeting. It took me a minute before I remembered that Out of Touch playing does not always mean its thursday. sometimes people just play the song.

my man my man my man 😻 (he doesn’t know i exist)

new smut fic released yallll… 👀

I'm like if a girl had the urge to scream and break something all the time but stays quiet instead

he so does . he prob has an account thats completely blank and reads what ppl say about him and his characters and reads the fanfics ..

Praying that Matthew Lillard doesn't know Tumblr. But at the same time I just know that he does