There'll Be A Moment When You Realise You're 27 When Yesterday You Were Just 17; And You Wouldn't Be

the idea that your friends won't like you if you're too weird is wrong for example one time I told a friend whenever I was losing my mind I laid down on the floor under my desk and stared at it until I was better and next time she visited me she taped a bag of salami snacks to the underside of my desk with a message saying "going insane all by yourself, handsome?" which I only saw months later when I had a breakdown. that's friendship.

Kronos, eating ‘baby Zeus’:

Kronos: wow this meal rocks

Andrew Garfield, Tom Holland and Tobey Maguire on set of “Spider-Man: No Way Home”

wow this is too intimate to share with my close friends or family let me put this on my tumblr blog for hundreds of strangers to see

Sometimes I’m just minding my own business and my mind suddenly goes why wasn’t friendship as good as relationship why wasn’t it even better it was two people who remained together day by day bound not by sex or physical attraction or money or children or property but only by the shared agreement to keep going the mutual dedication to a union that could never be codified and I’m like fuck that’s so true

your friends love you, your brain is just mean

a little fanfic

can't sleep and I think it's bc I desperately need the tumblr world know that A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara is: 1) camp (and brilliant camp, but that's a whole fucking dissertation); 2) fanfiction (which personally I would argue is inherently camp, so); 3) more specifically, Marauders fanfiction; & 4) even more specifically, remus/sirius aka wolfstar fanfic.

Jude is Remus, Willem is SIrius, J.B. is James, & Malcolm is Peter. I"m not talking strictly characterization or personality-wise (though there's some decent-ish overlap there), or saying that the plot of ALL has all that much to do with anything that happens to/among the Marauders in the plot of HP. But the relational dynamics, the tropes and archetypes solidifying these characters as a quartet, are so utterly parallel to mountains, fucking mountains of wolfstar fanfic. Precocious, quiet, tortured (not to mention literally scarred/self-harming) Remus/Jude; charming, effortlessly cool, hyper-protective Sirius/Willem; popular, charismatic, ringleader-ish James/JB; insecure, waffly, often-an-afterthought Peter/Malcolm. And the slow-burn love story between Jude & Willem - fucking wolfstar wolfstar wolfstar. The first, like, half-ish (idk, it's been a few months since reading?) of the book utterly teases the reader with subtextsubtextsubtext (or, in hp, canoncanoncanon) and then the rest of the novel actually *makes good* on that subext once Willem first realizes he's fallen in love with Jude (or, in hp, fanficfanficfanfic).

I have no idea if HY has ever read wolfstar and that is utterly beside my point because the author is dead and thank you for attending my brief lecture. also jesusfuckingchrist I have been holding this analysis in my little heart for so long bc no one irl even knows I know what fanfiction is lol.

and sometimes when i think a meteor should destroy earth, us, i stop and remember.

i remeber there are still people who read on the subway. i remember there are little boys switching r to w when they speak. i remember there are old couples who still speak german because it was the first language they learned at the small german colony where they were born. i remember there are girls scared to make it official. and boys and girls in the path of falling in love with eachother. and boys in love who live together with their cats like an old married couple. and beautiful boys who play bass at church.

i remember there are big fluffy dogs the next doors. i remember someone still has lot of paper cranes to make before one thousand. i remember there are songs to be played in a guitar and to be sang to a crowd. i remember there are boybands yet to go huge. i remember there are museums holding so much art that is just waiting to be seen again tomorrow. i remember there are writers yet to show their writings to the world and love confessions yet to be made to beautiful boys who play bass at church.

i remember there are volleyball matches to be played in a couple of days. i remember there are ice cream flavors just waiting to be created. i remember there are people waiting to be bumped on and make friends with the bumper. i remember there are college professors with a lot of dad jokes to make and interesting remarks about your country's literature to teach.

i remeber there are big brothers living away from their little sisters who want to see them again. i remember there are parents counting the days to travel abroad to see the son they haven't seen in a couple of years. i remember that there are cousins who don't talk anymore just wanting a little bit of courage to reach out to eachother.

i remeber there is an ocean waiting for children to play in it tomorrow and waiting for new sailors to depart in their first journey. and a sky waiting for more planes to cross it and for rockets to leave it. and sunflowers waiting to be loved by teenagers just as much as they were loved by a dutch painter over a century ago. and dandellions waiting to carry people's whishes to the divinity they believe in.

so when i want a meteor to destroy us, i remember there are so many things a breath away from happening if we let the planet and its people live. there are so many things we get to appreciate and can keep appreciating if we let our planet and our people live

so when i want a meteor to destroy us i roll up my sleeves and fight for my planet and my people the way i can. there are things already lost, but we can pick up what we can save and show them what truly makes us human