god. janus sanders really is a character of all time, just in terms of concept. when you were a little kid, you did something wrong, and you got so scared of getting in trouble that another little guy was born inside you. and he loves you. and he wants you to stay safe. so he tells you to lie now, take care of yourself now, keep yourself safe. but all the other little guys inside you hate him. he's too mean, too selfish. the little guy that was born from your desire to do good and be good hates him the most, because you're a little catholic boy, and lying is bad. and you're a good boy. so everything inside you that isn't good has to be shut away.
he knows he's not wanted. he creates his own place to stay, a hidden corner where he can't hurt you. because all the others say that he'll end up hurting you, and he can see how scared you are of being a liar, so he lets himself be forgotten. hidden away. this is how he shows his love: by hiding himself, and every subsequent unwanted part that grows inside you, from you. if knowing about their existence is too difficult for you, then he'll hide them all. he loves you. you don't even know his name.
he watches you grow, still unaware of his existence. the others make their presence known, felt. you let them take the reigns, most of the time. he sneaks in his own little influence here and there; small, harmless lies, only when necessary, so you won't even notice. and in the meantime, he acts as a herder of sorts for all the other parts of yourself that you've subconsciously cast away. he keeps them in line. he sympathizes with them, yes, he knows what it's like to be unwanted. but letting you see them would hurt you, and he loves you. so he keeps them there, in the shadow, unknown and unseen, just like him.
one of them, one of his little dark, unwanted things, doesn't want to be hated anymore. he wants to make himself known. he wants a seat at the table. and, in an ultimate slap to the face for janus, he gets it. virgil gets everything that janus was denied from the start. acceptance. power. control. his effort is acknowledged, his necessity is embraced. he gets a seat at the table. he doesn't have to hide anymore. and janus can't help but resent him for that. maybe it's a good thing, then, that the hatred is mutual. not even his own cattle, the ones he kept safe, the ones he kept out of thomas' way, can stand his presence. fine. none of it matters. as long as you're safe, it was all worth it. he loves you. you still don't even know his name.
janus was always thomas' protector. even when none of it was ever seen or acknowledged.
i find his mixed motif really interesting too, because before we knew his name, we only knew him as deceit. the snake. the ancient serpent deceiver, the biblical snake of eden. but then we hear his name. janus. ianus bifrons, two-faced janus, god of beginnings, passage, transitions. i think that his name being revealed was very much the start of thomas beginning to see janus for who he actually is, instead of the heavily modified version of him that he's been seeing, courtesy of his catholic upbringing.
even though @hildanasr1 has been fundraising on here for several months and been vetted by mohammed ayesh w gazaevacuationfunds since october 9, her family has barely received any donations.
on top of surviving under constant shelling, losing all sense of stability, living with nine people crammed into a tiny tent afflicted by snakes and insects, struggling to find adequate food every day, and the terror of being pregnant (!!) for the first time when healthcare infrastructure is constantly at the brink of collapse--hilda has to go through the demeaning, frustrating process of navigating tumblr and twitter to ask for help. she endures constant disappointment and annoyance because it's her family's best shot to survive.
this is exhausting. these people are exhausted! what else does she have to do to win our attention and sympathy?
right now her campaign is at €1,391 / €50K. let's get hilda to €2,000 by friday! please ask yourself if you can spare even the price of a coffee.
tagging for reach:
@butchniqabi @northgazaupdates2 @thatsonehellofabird
@killjoycatlady @spelllingandthemysteryschool @brutaliakhoa
@killy @capacity2 @velvetys @dirhwangdaseul
@prisonhannibal @beserkerjewel @wellwaterhysteria @cuntylouis @sergle
i like clicking buttons too but i am asking you to actually pay attention to things that matter even if you don't have a fun poll to engage with. it's ridiculous how inventive people have to get to entertain tumblr userbase enough for you to reblog fundraisers nowadays.
donate to mahmoud ( @ma7moudgaza2 ). his fundraiser slowed down significantly again, once the polls in the promo posts expired. he's currently at $19,794 USD raised of the temporary $20,000 goal. it is a verified, trusted campaign.
@buttercuparry @feluka @appsa tagging you for reach! thank you
I am Kawthar Zeyad Ramadan from Gaza, I am 29 years old.
I live every day war, destruction and fear, a feeling that can only be described by those who live it.
War is not easy, as I lost part of my family, my home and my work.
I graduated from university with a high grade and worked as a fashion designer and opened my own project because it was my hobby from the beginning.
I developed and succeeded in my field, but the war came and I lost everything in a moment.
My work was my source of livelihood for my family, so because of it there was no longer any source of income.
Also, my mother has been suffering from kidney failure for years and needs dialysis 3 times a week.
Because of the war, she suffered from going to the hospital in danger and long distances.
Also, the lack of adequate care caused her severe fatigue and hospitals became an unhealthy place because of the large numbers who needed treatment.
I had many ambitions and dreams that I wanted to achieve and succeed and become a famous fashion designer.
All we wanted was to survive the war. We were forced to be displaced more than 10 times at least.
We suffer a lot from the tent as we lived the summer with its extreme heat as it is made of poor quality nylon
And from insects and diseases
And now winter has come and we are drowning in the tents and the extreme cold
We fear death every day, we love life
Your help by donating even a small amount is able to save my life and my family's from death
Every €15 or €20 will contribute to saving
my family
https://gofund.me/4eadb983
Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #145 )
vetted by 90-ghost
Vetted by @gaza-evacuation-funds
it's very surreal to see posts about palestine dwindling down after the ceasefire. israel is still blocking aid to and trying to make life difficult for palestinians in gaza. we still have to continue to speak up about gaza.
in this ceasefire, many palestinians are trying to rebuild in attempts to try and return to what they had before the genocide. despite the heavy and unbearable loss of life that gaza has experienced, her people continue to try to make a better world for their children.
alaa is a mother of two young children. she wants to rebuild her house and get a better future for her children. please have heart and consider helping her out. her fundraiser has been verified.
please donate here
“My name is Eslam from Gaza, I’m 29 years old, and I’m a children teacher from Khan Yunis in the Gaza Strip. a mother of two daughters, Hanaa 5 years old, and Alma, 10 months old. My husband Rasmi is the director of 3 language and training centers. In this war, our house was completely destroyed and razed to the ground, and my husband’s centers were blown up. He lost his job, and we were completely displaced, and we are now homeless and jobless, My two young daughters constantly suffer from diseases due to malnutrition and water pollution.
Danger and death surround us all day and all night. We have lost everything and depend on donations to survive and, most of all, to have any hope of escaping this genocide and evacuating to safety in Egypt. The cost of daily living continues to rise significantly in Gaza - imagine that we cannot find the type of milk for our daughter because of its high price. There is no kind of detergent and this is the cause of skin diseases for my two little girls. We bought a piece of soap for $30! ، and detergent is 100$"
vetted: bees and watermelon spreadsheet #175
@eslamfa9 @eslamfa8
One year gone
One year of killing civilians
One year of bombing hospitals
One year of bombing schools
One year of destroying a whole city
One year of starving people to death
One year of making people leave their homes to live in tents
One year and still the world just watching us dying
One year thousands are missing under the rubble thousands arrested with unknown future
One year of thousands of children lost either one of their parents or both
Thousands lost parts of their bodies
I can’t imagine this will continue for a year
Fuck this world fuck everyone
OOC: I just had to drive back to work to retrieve my phone (the place I work is open 24/7 bc it is Healthcare) and the sweet old lady on night shift went through my phone to helpfully try to figure out whose it was. I DO NOT HAVE A PASSWORD. IT WAS OPEN TO TUMBLR. TO THE LAST POST I'D MADE. She asked me who Vriska is and what Vore is. I really wish I was fucking joking. Sorry for breaking character but I just had to gaslight an old woman about Vore at midnight and I needed to tell a trusted adult (Tumblr Followers)
Some fanart I made back in 2023 of Benjamin and Oliver from Lucids. (I didn't post the art at the time)
Today I chose to go back and rewatch the series for the billionth time, and its still as silly and beautiful as ever.
Literally only here for Sanders Sides and The Croaker rn
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