RAHHHHHHH I Wanna Organise All My Posts With Tags But I DO NOT HAVE TIME!!!!!!! I Am SO BUSY!!!! 3 Weeks

this is how angst writers look writing the most emotionally damaging shit you've seen in your life

Tonight I am staring down mathematical word problems and it really is like trying to look at an eldritch horror. in a way.

My eyes hurt. My brain is warping. I feel compelled to erratically and violently discorporate and disperse as molecules across the universe. And I would honestly feel better about it if this sheet of paper at least had some extra eyes, just to justify the shit it's pulling tonight. maybe a gaping maw or two.

Jack can't contain his emotions in just his body. he externalises his love, his anguish, his hate, his frustration into any medium that will bend to his will just enough to become his own. His paintings not only depict beautiful landscapes, but also the freedom he wants; the freedom he needs. The music he listens to is filled to overflowing with annotations and marks only jack can hear; the way certain songs get him crying.

Jack only sees himself as a husk- a skeleton of what could have been, if only Jack was given a little more. If only jack had been given a family, he might not have more than half of his personality and traumas displayed on his walls. If jack had been given a family, maybe he would just be better. Maybe it would all be fixed.

Maybe he wouldn't need to move to Santa Fe.

davey who finds all of jacks drawings- not just of him, but of everybody in jacks life. candid pictures of crutchie, race, albert, katherine- literally everybody jack knows. but as davey's snooping (because he just cannot resist) he finds a picture of a middle-aged man, drawn with considerably less refined penmanship than the others. it's labeled as 'pops' in fading pencil.

jack's father. ... oh.

davey slips it back between the two landscapes it was nestled in, but makes sure to make the corner visible- so jack might see it and consider drawing it again.

he also makes sure to snap a mental picture of the drawing labeled 'davey gazes into the distance <3' before he places the papers back into their tube and back under jack's scruffy pillow.

jack who loves spicy food x davey who can't even kiss jack after he eats anything remotely spicy ... now also consider davey who loves horror movies x jack who has to cling onto daveys arm when they watch the fnaf movie together ...

in my modern au jack has to take davey's concert black pants and they pool at his feet btw. he has to wear platform shoes btw.

ME WITH JAVEY

Things in my show that impressed the children

1. Swing pitch to standing in shoulders. This makes sense it looks amazing

2. Carrying a mat in on our heads. Why what is impressive about this

3. The trapeze being lowered in from the roof

4. The German man’s jumpy flipyness

5. Little child’s jumpy flipyness, and his unicycle

6. Finn I don’t get this one

7. Weird song about Australia

8. My headsprings

9. Moving props

10. Big metal wheel things

11. Sweeping up juggling balls

12. Spiderman in a top hat and Elton John glasses in a window talking about going vegan

13. Measuring a stage with a hula hoop

please spread this so that it can actually be funny instead of just 1 person voting

Javey go stargazing on top of a building, the feelings are big and raw and decidedly there. Davey compares jack to the stars and jack doesn't know how to respond. Jacks emotions are so big he doesn't know how to express it with words, so he expresses it with touches. Lying down shoulder to shoulder with Davey, sitting them both up just so he can gently trace his knuckles over the perfect curves and corners of davey's face. The reflection of the galaxy in his eyes, the breeze tossing pollen and dust over his features.

Jack doesn't know how to deflect, as he does with so many things, the way Davey's eyes fill with absolute love when he looks at jack. He's never seen this much love come out of one person, directed at him. The city can't see them up on top of this building, the newsies aren't here to laugh and jeer and make fun of jack when he fits himself into Davey's shadow sometimes.

And he might only get this chance once.

He kisses Davey like it's the last time he'll ever see him, like when the sun begins to rise, Davey will dissolve into the morning air.

Davey kisses back, smiling like he's meeting an old friend.

On that night they feel complete. So fully, truly complete.