Andrew: Whoever Makes Neil Fall Asleep Gets $500 Dollars

I love the reveal in Over the Garden Wall that the story isn't actually set in the past but that Wirt has been going through this whole adventure in a shitty last minute Halloween costume he threw together and only half intended for other people to see him wearing. Imagine travelling through a creepy magical forest that seems to be stuck in the 1800s for several days while being hunted by an evil shadowy tree man who wants your soul but you're wearing an old power ranger mask from 2008 and a cape that's just a beach towel. That's pretty much what Wirt's outfit is equivalent to and that's such a big mood

what the fuck is Christmas Eve

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JUNO AND BENZAITEN STEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Juno and Buddy heckling each other under the guise of group deconstructive criticism while they’re both imprisoned in a Pavlovian hellscape is actually something that can be so personal

After another grueling match, Jean Moreau is sent to handle press duty for the USC Trojans. His teammates have learned that Jean’s dry, deadpan humor in interviews is something to behold, and the upperclassmen make it their mission to catch his best moments on camera. For the freshmen, it's an initiation into the legend of Jean Moreau’s press conferences, with his signature blend of sarcasm and flat honesty baffling reporters and leaving his teammates in stitches.

[presses face against electoral college] pakige

“Here you are never truly lost or forgotten.”

I can’t believe we’ve finally made it to December, thirty years after 2020 started

OK but The Vast has the most comedic potential out of any entity imo. Like other fears are like “uhhh my cousin got replaced” and “there’s Evil Mold in my fridge” or whatever but the vast could just say “one day I was on a trampoline with my brother and he just didn’t come down” and it’s perfectly in character and just works.

Statement recorded by Jonathan Sims, head archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. Statement begins:

Am I the asshole—

"can you behave" yes, if I wanted to, but this is so much funnier