Hopefully She Can Get Help.

This keeps alive and well.

Don't get me wrong I love the fics/comics of Alastor being forced on a date with Vox (either because he needs something, has lost a bet, made a deal etc. wtv the reason) and he's suffering the entire time because Vox could not be any less impressive.

BUT

I haven't once seen a fic with the same plot, only Alastor doesn't want to go out with Vox because the date will be abysmal, but because he KNOWS he'll have the BEST time.

Think about it, we know they were friends before the "sad and complicated" falling out, which means Alastor (who barely stands men in general) must have enjoyed Vox's company so much that he allowed him in his close circle of friends, so close he actually let him take a picture. And no one can convince me that Vox doesn't know Alastor like the back of his hand.

They've spent years together, Vox would absolutely know what Alastor likes and what he doesn't. He would make the date as good as possible if only to irritate Alastor in a "this is what we could have had you fucking idiot" or a "admit that you missed me fool". He will buy him the biggest bouquet of roses imaginable, he will take him to his favorite restaurant in cannibal town (yes, his stalker ass knows which one Alastor’s favorite is), he will intentionally choose topics of conversation he knows Alastor is interested in and avoid any he isn't (*cough cough* modern tech), he puts on that charming gentlemanly attitude Alastor always falls for, he will get that man drunk off his ass and will pull him to the dance floor like he's done countless times before. He KNOWS what to do to make him happy, he's done it for years. The entire night is like one nostalgic walk in the park, it barely takes any effort from Vox. And besides, Vox's entire shtick is ingratiating himself to people and telling them exactly what they want to hear.

And Alastor HAAATES it.

He HATES how pleasant Vox's company is and no matter how hard he's tried to forget their past friendship, he gets swept right back up. No amount of denial or masking his enjoyment can hide it. He doesn't want to go on that date because he doesn't want to forget why they're enemies, he doesn't want to slide all of that pent up resentment under the rug and simply forgive and forget.

(This entire thing is made so much funnier if it's witnessed from a third person's perspective eg. Charlie. This girl is watching Alastor moping and complaining about having to go with the "ridiculous, inane picturebox" on a date like it's the worst thing that's ever happened to him and *proceed twelve hours later*, Alastor and Vox barge through the hotel doors drunk, bloody, missing several pieces of clothing, clutching onto each other for dear life looking like they've had several near death experiences, with the biggest, brightest smiles on both of their faces while they laugh their asses off.(they probably committed mass genocide))

Absolutely jumping onto the idea that Hunter needs glasses to read, but here his glasses don't actually fit which irritates the crap out of him. So Gus reads him Cosmic Frontier while he's shifted :)

(This would be a long while after Hunter starts getting used to being in wolf form; until then, he isn't comfortable with being seen while shifted because of how much Belos would emphasize how being witnessed while shifted was beyond horrific)

Werewolf AU Masterpost

Some of my favorite tropes in RadioStatic fics:

Alastor cooks amazingly but WAYYYY too spicy for Vox so he begrudgingly has to make it milder for his Caucasian Pallet™️

Vox losing his shit when he finds out Alastor has a tail.

Valentino getting jealous over Alastor and Vox. Especially if there's no sex going on and Vox STILL enjoys Alastor's time more.

Vox eventually finding out Alastor is a virgin and starts losing his shit once again.

Them talking shit through radio waves.

Angel Dust asking who tops.

Charlie being happy for Alastor having a 'friend'.

Lucifer calling Vox 'the TV' (or even better 'the screen') when he starts to hang around the hotel.

Alastor and Vox scaring the shit out of everyone when they visit the other's respective home.

Just a teenie😭

I like to think I'm funny

He can't swim </3

I am absolutely horrified my Vivziepop.Just every shitty thing she's done,and the fact she's real is bad enough.

*cries in Alastor lover*

Enjoying not having a nightmare

A(sing-songing): HuSkeR!! I made you a present~

H: A present? What is it-

(Looks down to see Alastor holding a rock with googly eyes)

H: ... A rock?

A: Yes, but this is a PET rock!

H: Al, I hate to break it to ya... but it ain't the 70's anymore, and some people aren't stuck in the same era they died in.

A(purses lips): Yes, well, I put a lot of effort into this and I expect you to keep it. His name's Bartholomew.

H: You just glued googly eyes to a-

A: YOU’RE KEEPING IT

(He did, in fact, keep it. He lives on the bars counter)

[smashes through ceiling]

[Throws jar of jam and crackers at ye]

[Smashes through window to escape]

The people living on the floor above me would be very upset I think

Tim: Bruce, I’m gay

Bruce: oh

Tim: oh?

Bruce: I mean you being gay sort of ruins the entire edgy thing the batfamily has going on

Tim: what?

Bruce: because you’re gay.. you’re happy..??

Tim: when Dick uses the term gay he means something different than me

Dick, poking head into room: no we mean the same thing, I just didn’t want to explain it to him

Tim: no Bruce, I’m bisexual, I’m into men and woman

Bruce: oh, congrats? Me too?

Tim: WHAT?!

Dick: Superman was my co parent at one point I definitely saw them kiss

Tim: again, WHAT?!