Most Unstable Girl You Know: I Need To Get A Masters Degree

The thing about ADHD is that the "lack of reward chemicals in your brain" doesn't just mean that you don't want to do any tasks that don't feel particularly yummy :(, it means that your brain will look at chores and tasks that need to be done like "doing this would be painful and tedious for absolutely nothing to gain from it, Do Not Do That." The same thing that your brain tells you about everything else that would feel really bad and hurt the entire time that you're dying. The part of your brain that stops you from doing the thing is the same part that keeps you from shoving your arm into a wood chipper.

With unmedicated, unmanaged ADHD, "I have to do this assignment or I fail and my life will be ruined and I die" feels like a SAW trap, every single time.

god i love the mountain goats

i changed my mind guys whatever's wrong with me really is special and there is no true diagnosis for it. and also im gonna live forever

Every time I read that one Brian Eno quote from A Year With Swollen Appendicies about how anything that sucks about a new medium will become cherished and beloved once it’s no longer novel I get incredibly emotional and can’t contain myself.

Remember, being kind is punk rock. Being overly polite due to anxiety is prog rock. A hug is alt rock unless it goes on too long then it's folk rock. Empathy is third wave ska. Being mean, though, is not punk rock. Bc being mean is pop punk

Me: You know how when you were a kid and you’d wish that you’d get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didn’t live up to your potential?

Everybody, apparently: No?

it can be tempting to live your life like a prequel. to live as if you’re setting up your own story.and once you lose the weight, once you have the money, once you graduate school, once you’re in a real relationship, once, once, once. then finally, you’ll begin to live, and everything you do up until that point is some kind of half-life, some unimportant foreword you can skip. don’t do this. inhabit your life completely. sink fully into the wealth of your existence. the power to manifest is in the fearless owning of who you are, so that you can shape where you’re going.

Barn Owl (Tyto alba), fledgling chick hauling ass across a lawn, as it was learning to fly, family Tytonidae, order Strigiformes, Netherlands

photograph by Hannie Heere

— 6:59 AM by Shane Koyczan