Adonis, Tr. By Khaled Mattawa, Selected Poems

sinclairss​:

lucas caught cole’s eye in the rearview mirror. he hadn’t really thought about it, but steve had been acting a little bit off, now that he did pause to look back on it. he shrugged it off. “maybe he was just freaked out too?” he didn’t think any of them had been acting particularly normally, but given the circumstances, who could blame them? 

hawkins had exactly one hospital and it was all the way on the opposite edge of town. luckily, everything in town closed by nine, so they were nearly there as cole answered his question. lucas’ good hand tightened on the steering wheel, just slightly. he wasn’t sure who cole’s best friend was, but he had a bad feeling about it. people didn’t just die in the fire…they were involved with the mind flayer. he pressed his tongue against his teeth and debated keeping it to himself but…well, falling into a grave together kind of made it easier to want to share. besides, he had to tell someone or he was going to explode. 

“yeah, uh, nothing like that.” he offered cole a wince, maneuvered the car into the parking lot closest to the emergency room and threw it into park before turning to look at him properly. “just somebody from my past who didn’t like me very much. he’s not even around anymore.” that was putting it mildly. “he was going to run me over with his car, i think. and i couldn’t move. it was….” fucked up. that’s what it was. 

xx.

Cole nodded slowly, careful of further exacerbating his head pain. Of course Steve was freaked out-- everyone was. He still wondered, though, if Steve was a little... cold. But, whatever, that was by far not the weirdest thing to happen, so it was easy to put out of his head.

So Lucas had a dream-- or vision, whatever they were calling it-- too. Cole wondered what it meant that whoever he was isn’t around anymore. With a frown, Cole shook his head, “That’s horrifying.” He paused, looking for similarities between their visions. “Did it feel... like, super real to you? I don’t know about hallucinations, but I don’t think they usually feel that real.” 

Cole couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t just a hallucination, though that’s likely what the ‘reasonable’ explanation should be. He touched Adam, he heard Adam, he even smelled Adam’s fucking cologne. How could that be explained? And if Lucas had one too, then... “Do you think everyone had one? A different vision?” 

eddiemcnson​:

+++

droplets of nervous sweat starting to appear above his brow, eddie’s eyes darted down to where cole pulled out that blasted bandana before he took both the cigarette and lighter from him. he clicked it a couple of times, no light appeared, eddie nervously glanced back up at cole, down at the lighter. violently shook it around for a moment, another attempt - it thankfully lit this time and he handed it back to cole.

he was a bundle of nerves. the previous pleasant buzz from the alcohol had almost entirely disappeared, he flicked  the cigarette’s filter repeatedly, fidgeted with his rings on his other hand. as if he was almost….waiting for cole to ridicule him. instead, however, he said something completely unexpected and eddie chocked on his own breath, sputtering cough.

he looked up to lock eyes with him. i am, too. the fuck did he mean? and ‘too’? was this some sort of trap? or was he literally genuinely saying what…eddie thought…he was saying? hadn’t he not gotten any of his surely widely popularly used phrases moments ago? he quirked a brow, took a drag once his coughing had subised. “you are….what?”, eyes narrowed, voice low in case this was, indeed, a trap.

adam richards was mentioned and, oh, jeez, it all made sense. eddie almost instantly felt bad, a guilty nauseau creeping up on him. way to go, munson, way to go. “your best friend, wasn’t he?” brows pulled together, lips twisted into a sympathetic smile. of course, max hadn’t been the only one who’d lost someone on the very ground they were standing on. “listen, man, i’m so…sorry - like, that’s gotta be rough, like, being here and everything. sorry. i can go and  leave you alone if you want to.”

xx. 

Cole didn’t waver under Eddie’s gaze. If he was correct, Eddie’s behavior made sense. Cole felt it too, the fear of being found out by someone who wasn’t safe. It was the reason Cole and Adam snuck around for the three years they were together-- to avoid the football jocks and the band geeks and the teachers berating them and calling them names. Only it never stopped there; it often got physical, violent. Of course Eddie was afraid.

It was like they were playing chicken, like they were standing in front of a train for as long as possible and pulling back at the last second-- exhilarating, maybe, but not satisfying. Something about being in the mall, all his thoughts about Adam... it was the perfect concoction for a confession. “I like guys,” he said, meeting Eddie’s eyes again. “Adam was my boyfriend.”

And then: relief. Cole felt like he’d recovered part of himself, like he’d regained a phantom limb. He hadn’t been able to talk about his feelings this openly since, well, Adam. It was refreshing, rejuvenating even. “If you want, I’ll prove it,” he teased, giving Eddie a once-over. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so open about it, but what’s the worst that could happen?

Call Me by Your Name (2017)

After several days too long stuck to the hospital bed, Cole was thrilled to be home, to have a change of scenery. He was still bedridden for the most part; the three broken ribs made it difficult to walk still, but his daily trek downstairs to the family room and then back upstairs to the bedroom felt better than sharing a 4x4 room with Steve Harrington. No offense to Steve, but he snored. Or maybe it was Eddie. Either way, being home alone and lounging on the living room couch was ideal. Adam had left an hour ago, promising to be back soon, and Cole was half sleeping half watching whatever stupid Western was on at 1p.m.

When Beth walked in, Cole smiled up at her. It was funny, the ways all the people closest to him entered his house: Adam and Chrissy with a polite knock, Beth breezing through the door, Max scaling the side of the house. “Thought you were my mom,” he remarked before studying the options she’d brought over. “I don’t know... should we try something new?” Cole grabbed the tape from Beth’s hand and held it up with a teasing smile. “Yeah. Hairspray. He’s hot, remind me of Adam,” he winked. It was fun to be able to tease Beth about him and Adam again, like he used to before. And it was nice to hang out without one or both of them breaking down into tears. “I think we need popcorn, though. There’s some in the pantry, if you don’t mind,” he asked, giving her his best pleading eyes. 

WHO: beth richards & @loverboymontgomery​ WHERE: the montgomery house

There was nothing more that Beth hated than feeling useless. It was exactly how she felt for most of the time when Cole was in the hospital: Adam was there to hold his hand, and she was left to provide not much more than moral support and the occasional errand. She hadn’t even been with Cole and Adam when the explosion went off; she was with Cindy and their parents, distracting them while her favorite couple in the world spent some much-needed what was supposed to be care-free time together. Now that Cole was home, though, Beth had ordered Adam to sleep, something that he hadn’t done in days, while she ran over to Family Video and then the Montgomery household to keep Cole company. 

After three years of just Beth and Cole, Cole and Beth, it was strange to not just spend time the two of them anymore. She wasn’t complaining: having Adam back was all they’d wished for and more since he died. What she missed now, though, were the late nights that she and Cole spent up watching the latest movie on tape, early mornings at the diner when they simply hadn’t slept at all. Now, at any opportunity to try and relive just that, she jumped at it. Beth let herself into the house, Maggie more of a surrogate mother to her now than Ms. Montgomery, and headed toward the family room, where Cole had been set up with the television on loop. “Alright, I’ve got lots of options. Dirty Dancing, which, I know we’ve seen a bunch since it came out, but I think it’s becoming a comfort of mine. Or, hear me out, Hairspray. Just came out on tape, Steve Harrington said I came by just as Karen Wheeler dropped it off.”

chancecunningham​:

🍻

“in your dreams, player,” chance said with a light scoff as he plopped down into the visitor’s chair and loosely joined his hands in his lap. he took a second to inspect his classmate. cole looked pretty banged up…like aside from steve, he’d maybe gotten the worst  but still, despite being tattered and broken, cole maintained his attitude. “your sense of humor sucks. even on your…” death bed. his words trailed off before he delivered his own shitty punchline, figuring cole didn’t need to be verbally reminded of his injuries. 

chance waved off what he was going to say and quickly shifted gears to what he’d actually come to discuss once he got the okay from cole to talk. “i know you’re probably sick of hearing about this shit,” he began, clearing his throat as he leaned forward so he could be closer to cole and therefore keep his voice low, “but at the carnival…you said…something about adam dying…” a beat, “again.” 

out of all the people chance had spoken to since his sister and best friend came back from the dead, cole was the only one that had ever corroborated his reality. “did you mean like…literally?” chance asked, anxiously fidgeting with the bandage above his eye brow, “because….i….no one else remembers…except you.”

leaning back in his chair again, chance closed his eyes and let out a sigh. “i know i sound fucking crazy,” he breathed out as he shook his head slightly, “but i don’t know who else to talk to about this…my mom says it’s the devil in my fucking brain…nobody wants to hear it.” he opened his eyes slightly and peeked at cole through his lashes, “but i know this forest commune thing is bullshit…right?”

xx.

For a brief moment, Cole panicked at Chance’s use of the word ‘player.’ What did he know? Who had told him? But when the other moved on as if it was nothing, he figured it was just Chance being stupid. Cole traded grim smiles with his sort-of friend. “Death bed?” he finished for him. Truly, Cole knew he could’ve died, but it didn’t scare him like it probably should. The realization pulled his lips taut in a grim line and he felt a burning in his throat that only an ice-cold beer could soothe.

Cole wanted to flinch when Chance leaned towards him, an old habit, but he remained still, stoic. He remembered exactly what Chance was talking about-- the moment Adam’s eyes lost their shine, when he looked like he did before. For a moment, he entertained the thought of denying it, telling Chance he was being crazy. But, Chance was Adam’s best friend. He deserved to know, too.

Before he could explain, Chance’s nerves played out before him, and guilt settled within Cole’s chest at not having told him the truth before now. “Literally,” he confirmed, his voice barely louder than a whisper. “Yeah. He died, dude. And everyone knew that until... until he came back.” Cole remembered the funeral, remembered clasping Beth’s hand so tight she winced, remembered seeing Chance slip in the back with what he suspected was a flask in his suit jacket.

The cocktail of guilt and fear wrapped its fingers around Cole’s throat for a moment, forcing him into silence.  He lifted his eyes to Chance’s with a grimace and shook his head. “You’re not... crazy. I thought--” he paused, shaking his head at how stupid he’d been. “I thought if I didn’t ask questions about how he came back, it would be like before. I didn’t think... this would happen.” Running a hand through his matted curls, Cole sighed. “I’m sorry I never told you.”  He kept his head angled low, at his hands, to avoid Chance’s gaze.

After the mall protest, Cole had been laying low. Partially because he had deliberately lied to the cops, partially because his mom made it very clear that he was on thin fucking ice after wrecking the car. When Max offered up her house for the night, he accepted without question. It was more low-key than their usual late-night rendezvous at the skatepark, and he definitely craved the company. So Cole stopped off at the 24-hour grocer, grabbed a six pack and a few bags of chips, and skated to Max’s trailer.

He thought he was plenty quiet, but Max’s expression showed he was wrong. Clicking the door behind him, Cole slung the backpack off his shoulder and unzipped it, revealing the beer and chips. He rolled his eyes, “I’ll kindly remind you that this fractured finger was an attempt to save your ass, Maxine. Here, I got beer and chips, wasn’t sure what you’d have,” he plopped down on her bed, holding his finger up to the light with a pout. “It’s not so bad, thanks for asking.” He was being purposely dramatic. In an exaggerated whisper, he responded: “Breakfast sounds nice. Is this quiet enough?” 

He chuckled and started towards the window. “Fancy a joint? It’ll be just like old times,” he suggested, remembering the mall. He turned away from her, a smile tugging at his mouth as he remembered what he’d said in the mall, and how she’d reacted with kindness. She wasn’t half bad. 

WHO: max mayfield & @colemontgomeryx

WHERE: mayfield residence 

sleepovers were sacred rituals in the eyes of max mayfield. although usually reserved for the likes of el or on accident in the wheeler’s basement, after what cole shared with her at the blue quarry mall, he could be looped into one of her favorite past times. while it may have been more difficult to swing because she was grounded, she still made a way. her instructions to cole had been clear. wait until midnight, she’d leave the door unlocked, he could come in, lock it and make a clean break for her room. susan mayfield would have long been passed out on the couch or tucked into her room

the clocks eventually ticked 12 : 00 and max waited to hear her trailer go bump in the night. by the time cole was securely inside her room her eyes were narrowed pointedly at him, “you and that stupid fractured finger couldn’t make it inside anymore quietly?” she asked, but still stood to drag him onto her bed, “come on, sit.” she urged, then crossed to her stereo and flicked it on. the chances of her mom coming to check on her were slim, but in case she did, she wanted something to drown out the noise of her and cole’s chatter. Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car blasted throughout her room as she jumped onto the bed and joined cole. “anyhow, if you can manage to quiet down, i figured we could sneak out early and go get breakfast or something. i know the diner is closed but, we could find somewhere. if you want.” she snatched a magazine from her bedside table and began flipping through it as she explained to cole, “cigarettes are in my bedside table, weed is in the top dresser drawer. help yourself, just open a window when you do.”  

eddiemcnson​:

+++

his thoughts were spiralling, dizzy with how close they suddenly were to one another. a contact high, if you will, eddie thought and nearly chuckled at his own joke that he had cracked, to himself, in his own head. decided against it because he had a strong feeling that that might ruin the mood. and after his love life had been a big heap of, well, nothing, these past few months, eddie was definitely not trying to do anything that could potentially ruin the mood.

eddie watched, enraptured, as cole’s eyes stuck to his lips and is own darted down to cole’s. and man, while he hadn’t taken much notice of him in hgih school, he now wondered why - cole was pretty. like, very pretty. the relevation hit eddie hard, made his breath hitch. shit.

his heart skipped a beat, stopped for a second, he thought, as he felt cole tug on his shirt. he bit his lip as his eyes flicked down to cole’s lips, god, they really had to get out of there, stat. so eddie nodded, hummed in agreement. grabbed hold of his wrist and looked around for a moment before he dragged him off around the corner, pressing him up against a marble pillar.

nervous eyes searching is. “uh…you, uh, sure about this?”

xx.

Since Adam had died, Cole had been chasing the feeling-- the euphoria-- of connecting with another. That’s not to say he was looking for a relationship... no, he was too closed off for that. He was looking for a reminder that he was still capable of connection, maybe even love. One day.

And today, this chance encounter with Eddie was exactly the feeling he’d been wanting. He’d always noticed Eddie in school-- how could he not, the way Eddie seemed to fill up every room? But he’d never seen Eddie like this: nervous, but sure. In control. And Cole was loving it. 

Cole’s stomach leaped when Eddie took him by the wrist and pressed him against the wall. He could feel the heat coming off of Eddie’s body, he could practically taste Eddie’s words. Fluttering his eyes, Cole looked up at Eddie, hand still gripping the other’s shirt.

“I am. Are you?” 

@mmuscles

cassieconrads​:

The name wasn’t one that Cassie had heard when Nancy had given her a rundown of the people she should know to avoid in Hawkins, so she figured the boy who had approached her was safe enough to trust. He stopped on his skateboard, which wasn’t the most popular form of transportation in California, but one that she’d seen among the rollerbladers near the water. Pulling off his headphones, Cassie was reminded of hers that she’d left behind, and how embarrassed she was to have to ask a stranger where to get new ones.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” she said with a wave of her hand as she began to fold the map up. The last thing Cassie wanted was for any of Nancy’s friends to think she was completely useless. “It looks like you were headed somewhere, I’m sure I could find it,” Cassie assured him, but there was a lack of confidence in her voice after she’d spent the past hour looking for the store. “I’m Cassie. I’m staying with the Wheelers, just visiting.”

Cole waved his hand, dismissing her comment. "It's no problem, really. I just got off of work and I'm trying to avoid the house for a little bit," he laughed to himself. "I kind of, um, wrecked my mom's car and she's not too happy with me." He shrugged, taking his skateboard in his hand so he could walk alongside Cassie.

"Right! Nancy mentioned she had a friend from college coming to stay. It's nice to meet you, Cassie," he stuck out his hand for a dramatic handshake. "Don't take this the wrong way, but Hawkins isn't exactly a vacation destination so... what brings you here?"