Goldenboyrichards​:

TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET

© Carl Timpone for TimesTalks

@goldenboyrichards

Sufjan Stevens | Fourth of July April Base Version

xx.

Cole never could’ve imagined this-- any of this-- when Adam Richards had approached him to be his English tutor freshman year. He’d known who Adam was, of course, because everyone did. It was normal to have a crush on the hot and funny and sweet quarterback, as evidenced by the conversations he had with the cheerleaders, except for the fact that Cole was a boy, too. He’d made peace with it, figured it would pass when Adam graduated and Cole would hear about his engagement to Chrissy Cunningham one day from some nosy mom in the Melvald’s checkout line. That was how things were supposed to be. But then, one night in February after a few hours of studying for an English test, Adam had kissed Cole.

Everything changed that day, and Adam quickly became the subject of all of Cole’s thoughts. They were inseparable for three years, and those were easily the best three years of Cole’s life. In every way, Adam was Cole’s balance: where Cole was shut off and withdrawn, Adam was open and giving, where Cole was book smart, Adam was emotionally intelligent, where Cole was cautious, Adam was trusting. Cole wasn’t religious at all, but he truly believed they were meant to find each other, and he never hesitated to tell Adam as much. So when Adam died in the ‘freak accident’ just before they were going to run away together, Cole’s life halted. Since then, he’d felt like he was a ghost, moving through the motions of life despite being completely detached. He didn’t really care what happened to him, not if it was without Adam. And when Adam came back? It was supposed to be good, and easy, and they were supposed to move on. It was still good, Adam was still Adam, but it was impossible to ignore the reality of the situation: that Adam had died and come back, and there were side effects.

Still, it was worth it to try-- to push it to the side for a few hours at least. When Adam offered to plan a date, Cole was elated. When he showed up at Cole’s door with their usual from Benny’s, Cole had wanted to cry. He had longed for this for so long. He’d gathered a few things in a bag of his own-- his dusty copy of The Odyssey, a chapstick, his house key, a few rogue pens and highlighters, and at the very bottom of the bag, his flask. Just in case things went South, not that they would, he just didn’t really go anywhere without it these days. Cole left the bag on the floorboards of the passenger seat and climbed into the truck bed with Adam. Like it was the most natural thing in the world, Cole scooted closer to him and nestled into his chest, angling his face to the sky to look at the stars like they’d done dozens of times before. “Mhmm,” he hummed contentedly, smiling at the memory. “We were so worried someone would find us,” he chuckled. “Worth the risk.” All of it was worth the risk-- Cole would always choose Adam, always. Cole shoved Adam away jokingly, “In my defense, what the fuck are jumper cables?” He laughed, though, unable to resist Adam with that grin. As they shifted and Adam leaned against Cole, he ran his fingers through the other’s hair gently. Everything about this felt so right, and Cole felt completely at peace. As Adam kissed his cheek, Cole caught his chin and lifted it so their lips met. “I love you,” he responded, feeling pressure building behind his eyelids. Not tonight, surely he could go one night without crying. “Thank you for this,” he said, kissing Adam’s forehead with a smile. 

WHO: Adam Richards & @loverboymontgomery​

WHAT: What were Richgomery doing during town hall????

WHERE: A backroad of Hawkins, somewhere near Lover’s Lake

Adam had met Cole during his sophomore year, not long after being named starting quarterback. Cole was in his English class - a year ahead of others in his grade, and far better at understanding literature than Adam could ever hope to be. The second he’d seen the snarky brunette who always had something to say in class, Adam had been hooked. For a long time he thought that maybe he just saw the other guy as someone he really, really wanted to be friends with, but eventually, it clicked why he was so obsessed with Cole. And once Adam’s grade began to drop in English because he just didn’t understand why people used metaphors or similes or whatever ( why couldn’t everyone just say exactly what they meant all the time ? ), asking Cole to help him seemed like it would solve two problems for him. Suddenly, he could spend all the time he wanted alone with Cole, getting to know him and liking him more each day, and he could bring up his grade. 

It hadn’t taken long before something had shifted between them, and Adam had made the first move. Kissing Cole without knowing how the other felt about him was scary - historically speaking, kissing another boy without asking typically didn’t end well for guys. But, Cole had kissed him back. He had been so kind and sweet and patient while Adam figured out how to tell Chrissy about it all, which had thankfully gone well. Then, Adam and Cole had gotten three beautiful years together in high school, full of them slipping love notes into the other’s locker, hanging out in Adam’s car together after football games, saying I love you for the first time, riding together on the bus to away games, studying together, and even slow dancing together at Prom in one of the empty classrooms. It had been perfect. Every single thing about their relationship in high school had been beautiful, untainted by any of the complicated feelings that existed there now because of Adam’s death and the grief it had caused. So Adam hadn’t been surprised when Cole had sadly admitted to wanting to go back to that - to get to experience how happy they’d been. How simple it had felt. And Adam had decided to rise to the challenge and do his best to plan a night for them where they could feel like that again. 

They had each planned plenty of dates for the other in high school, but there was always a trick to it. It had to still feel like a date - not just two friends hanging out - without drawing too much attention to themselves. They weren’t like Chrissy and Jason or Chance and Bev; they couldn’t share a kiss or hold hands across the table. Being openly affectionate in public wouldn’t end well for them, so they’d always had to get creative. Tonight, Adam had ordered them takeout from Benny’s, getting their usual order as well as a milkshake to split. He’d loaded his truck with blankets and pillows, and driven them out to a field on the edge of town. The farmer who owned the land was older, he wouldn’t even notice them parked back here off the main road. After they’d eaten and gotten everything set up, Adam sat back against the pillows, looking up at the stars. “Remember when we did this for the first time?” He asked Cole, leaning closer to him. “The summer after we’d gotten together.” Adam had gotten his truck around then, and had taken Cole out on drives all the time. “Oh, or that time you freaked out and swore a snake had gotten back here, but it was just my jumper cables?” Adam laughed, grinning at Cole. Shuffling closer to Cole, Adam laid down, resting his head on Cole’s shoulder. There had been so much weird tension between them lately, and Adam had felt like he had no idea how to even address it, let alone fix it. But right now, he wasn’t worried about it. He just wanted to enjoy a date with Cole, not caring about bomb or the Doppelganger or the Mindflayer or anything else. Just the two of them, here, together. “I love you,” He said softly, leaning up to kiss Cole’s cheek. 

zccming​:

“everyone expresses their rebellion differently.” max rolled her eyes at the notion, then took a drag from the joint. this party was objectively stupid, but she was there anyhow. so who was she to judge?  “It’s just… do you ever feel like it should’ve been you? Like, why did all those people die and not me?” “heavy.” she replied. the effects of her indulgence throughout the night were hitting her all at once, so to hell with it. she’d be honest with cole. “yeah. i mean, paramedics pretty much saved me and a bunch of other people. pulled us out.” at least, that was the official police story. not the truth, but it was the closest max could get to saying she watched billy die here.

 “i…still don’t understand why it worked out that way.” she rubbed her temples with one hand, then handed cole the joint with the other. time felt heavy on her shoulders, so she wasn’t going to waste it. “i didn’t like, really know adam…” code for, i always thought he was just a dumb asshole jock. “but since he was your friend, i doubt he’d want you thinking like that.” she was confident in that at least. “what do you think he’d think of this party?” max didn’t know what had inspired her to ask such a loaded question, maybe it was something in the air, or maybe it was the hope that prompting cole to remember would help him feel better. 

xx.

Cole studied Max's face when she told her story. They hadn't ever talked about that night before, not explicitly. He knew the substances helped make the conversation easier. "But it was too late? For your brother?" he asked, the high making him bolder. He could probably still recite all of the names of people who'd died in the fire, and when he met Max he put two and two together. "Maybe we'll never know. But none of it makes sense to me," Cole admitted.

He took the joint and sucked in a deep breath, exhaling with a cough. Leaning back against the wall, Cole cracked a smile thinking about what Adam would say if he was here. Why are you pouting? You know it doesn't look good on you. "Yeah, you're probably right," he paused, passing the blunt back. "Though he was a selfish prick sometimes." His expression darkened, remembering the last days they spent together. The fight. "Hey, listen... was Billy... like, different, right before? Was he acting weird?" He shuffled, crossing a leg underneath him. 

“Just because Adam and I got into this huge fight right before. He kept saying that he couldn't be with me anymore. It's like it wasn't him, and... I don't know, I've felt guilty about it ever since." Cole trailed off. Did he just come out to Max? Maybe she was too high to catch it. Maybe he was too high to be talking about this.

eddiemcnson​:

+++

“oh.” eddie just continued to stare, stupidly, until his eyes widened, brain finally catching onto what cole had just admitted here. shit. so hawkins wasn’t as prim, proper and heterosexual as he’d been made to believe all this time. eddie licked his lips, blinked. wracking his brain on what to say next. nearly choking on his own breath when he said ‘we fucked’ and oh, his cheeks immediately lit up, stained a deep red colour. he nodded.

“so you’re….”, he trailed off, browd furrowed, giving cole a meaningful look before he dropped because shit, what else did he need, here? cole had just said he used to have a boyfriend, whom he quote unquote ‘fucked’ - or the other way around? he tried not to think about it, it was getting hard trying to concentrate as is -  what other confirmation could he possibly need to know that cole was into guys?

he didn’t miss how cole’s eyes slipped to his lips and his tongue darted out to swipe over his bottom lip. shit, why was he this flustered? getting hit on in chicago eddie usually wasn’t this squirming and blushing mess of a man. but hawkins? whole ‘nother story. not that he was totally suave in chicago, either, but at least a little more in control. here, he felt powerless. 

however, he straightened his back, took another drag. however, he thought, it didn’t need to be that way. if he pulled himself together. “oh yeah?”, he questioned, brow raised, a grin forming on his lips. “yeah? well, what if i -” and he actually couldn’t believe he was going to use a line this corny but here went nothing - “ well, what if i wanted to skip straight to dessert?”

xx.

As redness overtook Eddie’s cheeks, Cole took another drag of his cigarette. “Yes, I’m gay. You can say it,” he confirmed, his voice remaining low. Cole was sure Eddie would never out him, partially because that wasn’t Eddie’s character, and partially because of mutually assured destruction.

It was exhausting to have to keep such a large part of him a secret, and Cole was frustrated by it. Maybe that’s why he told Eddie (other than, obviously, trying to hook up with him). When Cole went to college, he was able to be himself more freely; he wasn’t out, per se, but he was much more comfortable discussing his sexuality. He wondered if Eddie had a similar experience in Chicago, and was now, like Cole, struggling to reconcile all the different parts of himself.

Cole grinned, noting the change in Eddie’s demeanor. Cole finished his cigarette and reached behind Eddie to throw it away. He brushed his arm against Eddie’s and took advantage of proximity this move afforded him. Glancing up into Eddie’s eyes, Cole’s own twinkled mischievously. “Well, that’s too easy. What about foreplay?” his voice was barely above a whisper. 

Cole didn’t know why Joyce had called him and invited him over for dinner. Instantly, he was afraid he would be reproached for telling Jonathan and Will his news... though, Joyce had told him he could. Maybe she’d changed her mind, or maybe it had gotten back to her that he’d been in varying states of intoxication when he delivered the news. Still, he felt he owed it to her-- for her kindness-- to show up on time, in a clean shirt, with a small bouquet he’d picked up at Melvald’s. He’d had a drink or two earlier in the day, to soothe his nerves, but by the time he was walking up the all-too-familiar porch, its effects were wearing thin.

Pasting a smile on his face, Cole knocked twice. She opened the door in record speed, and held out her arms for him. Cole obliged, giving her a loose hug, and then held out the arrangement of baby’s breath and peonies he’d picked up, like a peace offering. “Hi, thanks for having me--” he hesitated, unsure what to call her. Mrs. Byers felt too formal, Joyce felt too casual. “I’m doing a lot better,” Cole said, shaking his now cast-free arm. “Jonathan’s out. How is he?” Cole had seen him-- spoken to him, at The Hideaway the other day-- but they hadn’t exactly broached the topic of Jonathan’s physical health. 

who:  joyce  &&  @loverboymontgomery​ what: momma  joyce  checking  up  on  those  she  loves  -  her  next  victim  being  cole. where: the  byers  house

  things  might  have  been  a  little  rough  for  joyce  lately      —    between  bob  returning,  all  of  the  stuff  that  happened  on  the  4th  of  july  and  the  chaos  that  was  work  and  the  simple  stress  that  came  along  with  having  a  job,  the  one  little  constant  in  her  life  was  her  kids.  biological  and  not.  of  course  she  had  made  it  a  point  to  invite  cole  over,  food  prepared  and  everything  -  he  was  just  as  much  her  kid  as  the  rest  of  jonathan,  will  and  eleven’s  friends  were.  and  his  existence  itself  hit  too  close  to  home  for  her  for  obvious  reasons.  she  meant  what  she  said  that  moment  she  found  out  about  cole  and  his  relation  to  her  children  -  he  always  had  her.  they  were  family.

      door  opens  with  a  smile  on  her  face,  arms  extending  out  for  the  boy  with  a  warm  smile.  “how  you  doing,  honey?”

Cole had just gotten off his shift at The Music Center and had nowhere to go; he had already gone by the skatepark looking for Max, but he figured she was still under her mom’s lock and key ever since the whole mall incident. So, Cole had taken to skating around town, looking for someone to kill some time with. His mom had been particularly icy since he came home in a wrecked car, so he was trying to avoid home as much as possible. God, he felt like a teenager again.

Cole’s thoughts were interrupted by a girl he didn’t recognize, but even still, he obliged. Pulling his headphones down around his neck, he planted a foot on the ground and stopped the roll of his skateboard. “Oh,” it dawned on him who she was. Nancy had mentioned a friend from college coming to stay for a while. Who else would be contributing to the booming tourist economy of Hawkins? “Yeah, no, not quite. But you’re close, it’s just around the other side of the strip.” He started to motion and then decided against it. “I’ll take you, it’s a little confusing. I’m Cole,” he smiled, deciding that any friend of Nancy’s was a friend of his. 

WHO: cassie conrad & you!

WHERE: the strip mall, outside the video store

Cassie wasn’t used to small-town. Even the suburb she’d grown up in had more people in a square mile than Hawkins did in the entire town. Boston was even more of a monstrosity, but it was where Cassie felt most at home. Despite the less than logical layout of the city, she knew her way around every corner, every nook and cranny. It somehow became easy after being there for three years. What she couldn’t understand, though, was how the hell to get around Hawkins, Indiana. It shouldn’t have been so hard, with how little there was to memorize, but everything just looked the same. 

So, here she was, standing with her map outside the strip mall where she thought the Radio Shack was, looking and feeling quite lost. She’d stupidly left her Walkman in Boston, and Cassie couldn’t get around very far without ABBA in her ears. “Excuse me,” she asked the person walking toward her, looking like they were making their way into the video store. “This might be a weird question, but I’m kind of not from here, and I’m looking for the Radio Shack. I’m not … in the right place, am I?” she asked, flashing a pained smile. “I promise I’m not usually this directionally challenged, I just think this map is severely outdated.”

who: Cole & @willthewize​

where: the Byers’ porch!

what: brother reveal (2.0) (semi-sober version)

The day after the Wheeler’s Fourth of July barbecue Cole woke up with a pounding headache and a faint memory of a conversation with Jonathan Byers. But, he’d also woken up in Adam’s arms, and that took precedence. Still, the memory haunted him; Cole couldn’t escape the embarrassment he felt knowing that he’d been noticeably drunk when he told Jonathan they were related. Not his brightest moment. 

In truth, he’d wanted to tell Will first-- he’d even tried before, after the camping trip at the lake, but he was too nervous. Cole figured that it might be an easier pill for Will to swallow, since they weren’t close in age like he and Jonathan. He’d fully intended to tell Will right away, Jonathan’s warning to ‘be careful’ ringing in his ears and convincing him that he needed to tell Will before someone else did. But, then the explosion happened and Cole was in the hospital. 

At this point, he didn’t know what to expect, and he was certainly worse for for the wear: bruises and cuts still healing, arm in a sling, bursts of pain in his torso from the broken ribs, and the ever-present fear that something worse was going to happen. That something worse might cause him to lose Adam again. And if something worse happened and Cole died (physically or otherwise) before he got to talk to Will, he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. 

So, he filled up his flask-- only for a few bursts of liquid courage-- and drove over to the Byers’ neighborhood. Only, he couldn’t stop in front of the house. Nervous fingers tapping on the steering wheel, Cole looped around the neighborhood once. Twice. Three times. God, he didn’t have the gas money for that, so he parked about five houses down and got out, careful not to bang his ribs or his arm on the car, and began pacing. 

About a half hour passed, accompanied by a few more swigs of the stinging liquid, and the dread didn’t go away. So Cole took a deep breath and approached the house... only to see Will sitting on the porch, sketchbook in hand. Had he seen him the whole time? An embarrassed flush gathered on Cole’s cheeks, and he wiped his good hand on his jeans to dispel the sweat that had gathered.

“Hey, man,” Cole greeted, attempting to put on a casual smile. “Got a minute? There’s something I wanna talk to you about,” the words fell out in a jumbled heap, but he was glad he’d said it. That he couldn’t escape from it this time. “I talked to Jonathan a while back and, I just... I thought I should tell you.” Cole studied his sling, picking at the fabric fraying on the edge. “Lonnie’s my dad, too.” Saying it out loud, without copious amounts of beer to numb the feeling, left Cole feeling like he’d ripped a bandaid off. He was exposed, bare, vulnerable to whatever Will’s response would be. He wished desperately that he remembered what Jonathan had said, if only to have some litmus for how this would go.

stevehharringtcns​:

.

steve couldn’t blame cole for what he was saying. he would have probably done the same if he hadn’t been a swimmer during high school, knowing that he just couldn’t stop swimming. but even then, he preferred using the public pool rather than his own pool. “right… that makes sense. you know, i haven’t really been able to use my pool after…” he said, narrowing his eyes as he tried to remember. he didn’t remember, but he knew that he had associated a bad memory to his pool, even if he couldn’t remember exactly what it was. “you know what, i don’t even know… it’s just that my pool kind of gives me the creeps and i don’t like being near that much. but it’s kind of hard to ignore it.” he said with a small shrug of his shoulders, pursing his lips as he looked at cole.

steve couldn’t remember the last time he had liked someone this much. obviously, he had liked nancy a lot, but those feelings eventually had faded away. and there was always his crush he had on robin, but that had been cut short, obviously. he looked over at cole, nodding his head slowly, but frowning slightly when cole said that eddie didn’t like girls. “right, right… but, even if he doesn’t like nancy.” he said, letting out a sigh. “what if he liked… you know, chrissy? the two were seen together a lot before she… disappeared or whatever. you can’t tell me that they weren’t like… into each other, right?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at his own question. steve wondered if eddie would be dating chrissy if she hadn’t disappeared, but he decided to not think about it that much.

listening to cole talk made steve a little more relaxed. it didn’t fix how he was feeling, but it definitely gave him some more comfort, knowing that he wasn’t alone in this situation. he would never have thought that when they made out in the back of his car, that this is how they would end up - with steve asking cole for advice. “thank you, cole… that’s really cool of you.” he said, nodding his head with a smile. “i should talk to him about this, but i don’t want him to get scared or anything. plus, i’m not sure if the whole talk about… wanting a family and six kids will work on eddie.” he said, sighing.

xx.

Cole studied Steve’s face as he spoke, trying to determine whether or not Harrington was pulling his leg. But his confusion seemed genuine, which maybe... was worse. Cole finished off the beer Steve had originally handed him and slipped into the kitchen, grabbing two more from the fridge and presenting one to Steve. “Cheers to never swimming again,” he said with a smirk. Maybe this was his gift, making light of really terrifying shit.

He couldn’t hold back his laugh when Steve mentioned Chrissy. Quickly, he explained so Steve wouldn’t think he was laughing at him. “Sorry. I just... Chrissy covered for me and Adam a lot back in high school.” It was funny to think of her, perfect Christian Chrissy Cunningham, being part of yet another scheme to cover for two guys. “To be honest, Harrington? I’m sure Eddie likes you. You don’t just look at a guy like that unless you want to jump his bones.” Cole didn’t elaborate on how he knew that look from Eddie; it wasn’t relevant, especially with the state Steve was in. 

Cole took a sip of his beer to hide his smile. It was surreal; at first, Cole was sure what happened between him and Steve was a one-off, just a jock experimenting. And honestly, Cole hadn’t expected it to ever come up again, but he was sort of glad it did. At least so that they could be friends... or something. “No problem, seriously. I get it.” He chuckled at Steve’s thought process. “Don’t you both like... kind of already have six kids? With the DnD club and all?” he teased. Cole swirled the beer around in the bottle, giving Steve a one-shoulder shrug. “It’s a scary conversation, but maybe what’s scarier is not having it at all.” Jesus, he needed a blunt. If only he could take his own advice. 

After everyone had dispersed, Cole had slipped away into the cabin so he could change out of his wet swimsuit and decompress for a bit. He was actively trying not to think about whatever had been pulling him; based on what had happened at the graveyard and then what Max had told him about the Upside Down, he knew there was likely something else going on. But he also knew that whatever answers there were meant trouble for him and Adam, so it was easier to push the thoughts away.

Cole toweled off his hair and tossed the towel and wet clothes to the side when Steve approached him. A relieved smile filled Cole’s face, and he took the beer. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I need. Thanks,” he said, using the counter to pop the top off and taking a swig. “I’ve been better,” he admitted, gesturing in the general direction of the lake. “But... I’ve also been worse.” He knew it was a cryptic response, but he figured of all people, Steve would understand. Like, sure, maybe I’m being haunted by supernatural forces but at least I have my boyfriend.

Cole’s eyes gleamed with interest when Steve confessed his real reason for being here. Leaning against the countertop, Cole nodded. He tried to suppress his grin, but he had definitely noticed how Steve and Eddie were looking at each other earlier, and the curiosity was killing him. “Oh yeah? Shoot.” Cole said, welcoming the question. “And... good for you,” he tacked onto the end. Both Steve and Eddie were very attractive and genuinely good people, but Cole understood the trepidation of beginning a relationship that others might not approve of. 

who: steve harrington & @loverboymontgomery​

where: the cabin

everything that had happened down at the shore had freaked out steve, to say the least. mostly because thinking two years back, steve had been under that lake, getting pulled into the upside down through the watergate. so, when both adam and cole got pulled down, steve’s immediate reaction was to never set foot inside the lake ever again. he couldn’t risk it again. he wouldn’t. he had made his way back to the cabin, looking around at everyone for a couple of moments until he spotted cole. maybe it was for the best if he asked how he was doing. approaching him slowly, steve grabbed two beers as he walked towards cole, offering one as a peace offering. “you look like you need this… you okay?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

he looked at cole for a couple of moments, chewing on his bottom lip for a few seconds before he decided to say something. “also, can i ask you something?” he asked as he approached cole, looking around for a few moments. “about- about eddie?” he asked. he wasn’t sure what he was going to ask, but he was definitely… interested in eddie, if that wasn’t obvious already. he was sure that some people had started to notice.