Mmuscles​:

zccming​:

cole might not have known about the truth about upside down, the mall fire, or the flayed, but he did know the truth of loss. he understood better than most the weight of grief and how it could change a person. at least, cole understood it in some of the ways max understood it. regardless, as soon as she started feeling jittery about everything she searched for cole. naturally, he met with an argument, which only made her scoff as she moved to refill her cup, “i wouldn’t trust you to remember how to spell your own last name, let alone cups.” max assured him, then took a drink from her cup as a vow of don’t worry, i will. 

swallowing the last of her sip, she took a couple of step backwards, “come on, i have something better.” max turned around and proceeded to lead cole halfway down a stopped escalator. they sat overlooking a fountain on the lower level, it’d be almost pretty if this entire place didn’t feel so eerie. she fished around in her pockets, shoes, then bra to a produce a baggie, paper, and zippo lighter. “gotta get this off me.” max insisted, like it wasn’t perfectly clear why she had pulled cole aside. it wasn’t often max and cole got vulnerable with one another, but it happened enough that they managed to stay friends throughout all the bickering. a trauma bond ( and then some ) or whatever.

max got to rolling, throwing her trash off the side of the escalator as if to say fuck this mall as she went. all finished up, max sighed, “are you as miserable as me right now?” she asked bluntly, extending the joint to cole, then the lighter. max placed her hands on her knees  and shook her head, “like, this is super messed up, right?” 

xx.

"In my defense, my last name is long," Cole teased, trying to lighten the mood-- but the smirk on his face felt wrong, like he was spitting on Adam's grave. How dare he be happy in the place he had died? Cole finished his cup and set it on the ledge nearby, taking a long drag from his cigarette in the process.

When Max told him to follow her, he did so without hesitation. She was one of the few people in this town he trusted fully, oddly enough. Their friendship, however unorthodox, was a natural one: after running into her at the skate park a few times, he started bringing snacks for them and they just clicked. He could tell they were similar: both of them carrying around a pain they didn't know how to handle, and both of them unwilling to burden another with it.

Upon seeing her stash, Cole put out his cigarette on the side of the escalator, following suit and launching it over the side. Fuck this mall, indeed. Cole laughed, though it was more a breath than anything. "Oh yeah. Let's go throw a rager to memorialize the place our friends and family died. Nothing weird about that," he remarked, taking the blunt and lighting it behind his hand. He took a drag and handed it to her.

"It's just... do you ever feel like it should've been you? Like, why did all those people die and not me?"

who: Cole & @sinclairss​​

where: The Hideaway 🍻 

Since he’d been admitted to the hospital, Cole had rarely had a moment alone. He didn’t mind it, when the people surrounding him were Adam or Max or Chrissy or Beth, not at all! But he had so many questions and was exhausted to his core with worry, and around them? Cole wouldn’t express that. Everyone else was scared enough, the last thing he wanted to do was add to that. Even still, Cole hadn’t been able to get the carnival out of his head-- the way Adam had reverted back to whatever happened before he died-- the way Max wasn’t even there-- the way Tommy H had acted more animal than human. 

So he’d found himself at The Hideaway a few times this week, somewhere he doubted any of his friends and certainly not his boyfriend would willingly go. It was a nice excuse to wallow for a while, allow himself to drown the fear in a few jack and cokes. At the moment, Cole was on his third, desperately trying to numb the ache in his chest, the uncertainty about whether or not Adam would live to the end of the week. Cole finished the glass, setting it down on the bar with a rattle, and motioned to the bar tender that he’d take another. With his eyes lifted, Cole saw the last person he’d expected to see: Lucas Sinclair. When it was clear that the other had seen him, Cole lifted a hand in greeting and pasted a smile on his face. 

“Hey, man. What... uh, what are you doing here?” Cole asked, ignoring the twinge of embarrassment in his gut. Drinking alone was so uncharacteristically uncool. “Can I buy you a drink?” he offered, figuring Lucas had some shit to air out, too. He’d been attacked by Tommy H, after all, and that was the last Cole remembered seeing of him before the explosion. Though, admittedly, he’d been a little busy. 

byersphotography​:

TW: FAMILY ABUSE MENTION

————————————————————————————————-

“I’m fiiiiine.” 

Cole’s assurance didn’t strike confidence. This guy needed help. He sighed, exasperated - the best course of action would be to drive him home. Where did this dude even live? While Jonathan had plans to go downtown and investigate Barb’s return, he couldn’t leave Cole stranded on this patio … even if it meant cleaning vomit from the carpet of his passenger seat. “Come on.” He shrugged towards the patio stairs. “I’ll take you home, man-”

“Lonnie, dude, he’s my daddy too,”

Cut off - the realization dawned on him. Lonnie. He hadn’t heard it aloud in a long time. Cole really couldn’t have come up with a more shocking way of saying – Surprise. Your dad fucked my mom. We’re all alcoholics in this family.

He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. This couldn’t happen here. Right now. Jonathan’s stomach sunk seeing Mike blast by the door. He did the only logical thing and sprung into action, calmly pulling Cole by the sleeve of his shirt to a corner of the patio, lowering his voice. “Are you fucking with me right now?” He knew Will was somewhere in the Wheeler house. Lonnie was virtually dead to him, but his mom and brother always seemed more affected by his antics. He wasn’t sure how they would react to this news. His own relationship with Lonnie was terrible. Fighting, yelling, neglect – it had all been tucked away in effort to keep the family afloat, but his dad had also been gone for a long time now. Things were good now. The Byers household didn’t need Lonnie’s legacy resurfaced for all of Hawkins to see – especially on his ex-girlfriend’s front porch, in one of the most pristine neighborhoods in town. “Who knows about this, Cole?” Jonathan remained calm but close to Cole, arm still on his shoulder, trying to decipher his drunken expression.

If only he could go back five minutes in time to the peace of Nancy’s bedroom.

xx.

Cole wasn’t sure how he’d gotten so tipsy-- were he thinking straight before the barbecue, perhaps he would’ve eaten something before playing several rounds of beer pong-- but he’d been so anxious about the conflict between he and Adam that he didn’t know the last time he’d had more than a few crackers. And unfortunately, Jonathan was experiencing the brunt of his thoughtlessness.  

At Jonathan’s offer to take him home, Cole shook his head furiously. “No, no, it’s okay, dude--” he paused, dizzy from the motion. “My boy... best... friend is taking me home,” he smiled at the thought of Adam. “Don’t worry, can’t drive anyway,” Cole murmured, picturing his mom’s wrecked car, a side effect from the last ‘party’ Cole had attended. 

There it was again, that look. Cole scrunched up his face, peering at Jonathan’s. Before he could ask if there was something on his face, Jonathan was pulling Cole away. In his less-than-coordinated state, Cole stumbled into a planter. “Fuck!” he exclaimed, as the snake plant toppled over. “Sorry, Karen,” he called over his shoulder, into the darkness. “’m not fucking with you, ‘m sorry... didn‘t mean to kick the plant,” he answered with a deep frown. Leaning down, Cole made a valiant attempt to right the planter, instead pushing too hard and sending it toppling to the other side. “Well, shit,” he stared at the feat of gravity. 

Jonathan repeated himself, causing Cole to raise on wobbly legs and look at him. “--the plant? I dunno, dude, there’s no one out here?” He scratched his head, nevermind the potting soil on his fingers. When Jonathan’s arm reached out to steady Cole, he stared at the other’s hand. Lonnie. Right. “Your mom,” he offered, leaning into Jonathan’s stability.  “Told her... a few days ago...” he struggled to remember what day it was, when he’d talked to Joyce. A warmth crept through his body at the memory of her acceptance. 

Suddenly insecure and unable to read Jonathan, Cole’s expression drooped. “Are you mad at me?”

xx.

Cole had always been a loner. It never bothered him, really-- in school he was content to sit by himself at lunch with a book and in the back of every classroom to share the occasional snarky comment. But because of that, he really didn’t know how to handle conflict. He’d never really cared enough before to be bothered if he happened to piss someone off. But now, after everything he’d shared with Max and she’d shared with him, he felt pretty shitty about the way things had been left.

Not shitty enough to apologize-- he didn’t think he was wrong for sticking up for Adam-- but shitty enough to jump at the chance to talk to her. When Max called, he closed out his tab at The Hideaway and thanked his lucky stars that he’d skated instead of driven. An easy smile slid onto Cole’s lips at the familiar sight of Max skating in the dark. “Hey, Maxine,” he greeted, tucking his skateboard under his arm. His expression darkened as he got closer, immediately clocking the state of her face. “What the fuck?” he exclaimed, wrapping an uncertain arm around her in the half-hug. “Shut up. What happened?” he asked, ignoring her question. Things were weird, but he was still concerned about her. He’d always worry, probably. 

WHO: max mayfield & @loverboymontgomery​ WHAT: vibe check! WHERE: the skate park (where else)

although it seemed like neither one of them wanted to say it, things had been weird since they went to the weapons store with chance and adam. there weren’t any lines drawn in the sand that night, but max hadn’t been the most stoked to find them with such differing opinions of what was going on. she also hadn’t gone out of her way to talk to cole between then and now. but since she kind of got her shit rocked? rocked her own shit? at the junkyard, max was maybe able to chalk up that whole experience to tensions being high after a funeral. she didn’t fully buy into her own narrative though, so, she supposed she would have a more clear picture of where they stood after today. 

max finally swallowed her pride about the whole scene cole had made in adam’s name and called him up to meet her at the skatepark, after hours, of course. she was skating in and out of the empty bowl and blaring tina turner from her headphones when she spotted cole approaching. she stopped at the top of the bowl, paused her music, and slid her headphones off. “yo, walden.” she met him, trying to be as normal as possible. gently as possible, max scratched the side of her broken nose and asked him, “notice anything different?” she didn’t wait long for an answer before pulling cole into an uncomfortable side hug. did they hug often now? “what’s happening with you?” max asked, sitting down on the concrete. 

sinclairss​:

lucas caught cole’s eye in the rearview mirror. he hadn’t really thought about it, but steve had been acting a little bit off, now that he did pause to look back on it. he shrugged it off. “maybe he was just freaked out too?” he didn’t think any of them had been acting particularly normally, but given the circumstances, who could blame them? 

hawkins had exactly one hospital and it was all the way on the opposite edge of town. luckily, everything in town closed by nine, so they were nearly there as cole answered his question. lucas’ good hand tightened on the steering wheel, just slightly. he wasn’t sure who cole’s best friend was, but he had a bad feeling about it. people didn’t just die in the fire…they were involved with the mind flayer. he pressed his tongue against his teeth and debated keeping it to himself but…well, falling into a grave together kind of made it easier to want to share. besides, he had to tell someone or he was going to explode. 

“yeah, uh, nothing like that.” he offered cole a wince, maneuvered the car into the parking lot closest to the emergency room and threw it into park before turning to look at him properly. “just somebody from my past who didn’t like me very much. he’s not even around anymore.” that was putting it mildly. “he was going to run me over with his car, i think. and i couldn’t move. it was….” fucked up. that’s what it was. 

xx.

Cole nodded slowly, careful of further exacerbating his head pain. Of course Steve was freaked out-- everyone was. He still wondered, though, if Steve was a little... cold. But, whatever, that was by far not the weirdest thing to happen, so it was easy to put out of his head.

So Lucas had a dream-- or vision, whatever they were calling it-- too. Cole wondered what it meant that whoever he was isn’t around anymore. With a frown, Cole shook his head, “That’s horrifying.” He paused, looking for similarities between their visions. “Did it feel... like, super real to you? I don’t know about hallucinations, but I don’t think they usually feel that real.” 

Cole couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t just a hallucination, though that’s likely what the ‘reasonable’ explanation should be. He touched Adam, he heard Adam, he even smelled Adam’s fucking cologne. How could that be explained? And if Lucas had one too, then... “Do you think everyone had one? A different vision?” 

who: Cole & @rcbinbvckleys​

where: hate to say... the hospital

Since Cole and Adam had cleared the air and sort of discussed what happened at the carnival, Adam had refused to leave Cole’s side for more than a few minutes. It was the comfort he needed-- to know that every time he woke up, Adam would be there, holding his hand. Luckily, Cole hadn’t had any visitors who were out of the loop-- Max and his roommate(s) Steve and Eddie were well aware, and when Jack had stopped by it was clear that Adam had told him.

When Robin walked in, Cole instinctively pulled his hand away from Adam’s. With a slightly nervous smile, he greeted Robin. “Hey, Buckley,” he said, his voice notably hoarse. Maybe he was paranoid, but Cole could’ve sworn that her eyes lingered on Adam, his proximity to Cole, the intimate moment she’d walked in on. “You know Adam? We were really close in high school. I’m friends with his sister,” Cole’s cheeks flushed and he knew he was stumbling over his words.

He changed the topic, partially to divert her attention away from the Adam equation and partially because he had been worried about her, since Max mentioned they’d both been separated from the group. “Are you okay? Max mentioned... something.” 

Cole Through the Years (And the Songs He Listened To)