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Hotwife Lifestyle - Understanding Our Man’s Hotwife Fantasy and How to Use That to Our Advantage

The fantasy of having a “Hotwife” is growing, in fact, research shows it is growing at a higher rate than a good majority of the other lifestyle alternatives, including the old staple of “swinging” and the modern “open relationship”.  Why is it that a fantasy that revolves around only one part of a relationship – the woman – going out and finding pleasure from another man more intriguing to an increasing number of men than going out and “getting some” for himself?  

Basic psychology tells us that men are highly competitive creatures.  They have a drive to compete with other males of the species for the best mate – this isn’t so much different than what happens in the animal kingdom.  Most men have an innate drive to compete with other men when it comes to the “best mate” or the “most attractive woman”.  With this being said, one of the reservations of most women who find out about their husband or partner’s Hotwife fantasy is that he is somehow “weaker” than the rest because he wants to give up his position as your only partner.  Is this really true, though?  Could the truth lie somewhere within today’s man’s loss of natural competition in everyday life, and a desire to maintain a level of competition after marriage or “monogamy”?  Is this weakness, or rather the ultimate confidence?  

Cuckholding aside, because this aspect of the fantasy requires a bit more in terms of a “woman led” relationship, and a bit more from the man in terms of a desire for mental sadomasochism, a good majority of men enjoy the idea that they have been able to “capture” the best mate and even when she’s out having amazing physical and emotional experiences with men who may have qualities that actually supersede their own – a better body, a larger cock, youth, more prowess in bed – their woman actually WANTS to come back to them at the end of the night.  While most Hotwife-Husbands do get some level of turn-on from the jealousy and the possibility that their Hotwife may actually be enjoying their dates more than they enjoy being “at home”, the overwhelming desire is the competition and the “win” in terms of having a wife who chooses them again and again even after being allowed to go out and have other men.  

As Hotwives, we may be the focus of the fantasy, but there is that deeper and more psychological desire of a man who, even after committing to one woman, is able to compete with other males sexually.  This is why the desire for “reclaiming” a Hotwife after a date is so strong – it’s actually been scientifically proven that men who are able to reclaim a partner after she has been with someone else have an increase in testosterone levels, which means stronger desire, more powerful erections, longer lasting erections, and an overall stronger sex drive.  So, what does this mean for us as Hotwives?

He Enjoys the Jealousy, Go with It

As women we’ve learned that inducing some jealousy can actually be a good thing when it comes to dating – before we’ve found our “person”.  We use our female prowess to keep the men who we are seeing guessing…why?  Because they seem more interested in us when it seems as though we may not be 100% there.  So, if this works in the dating world, why wouldn’t it work once we’re married? In contrast, women typically don’t respond as well, or in the same way to jealousy – we tend to worry, question, and sometimes shut down if we feel that he might be “just not that into us”.  Naturally, because of our own feelings on the matter, we tend to avoid making our men jealous once we’ve committed to them, because we, ourselves don’t want to feel as though we’re in constant competition with other, more attractive, sexier, younger, etc., women.  Why would we do something to the man that we love that we, ourselves, would hate?

For men, though, and especially those with Hotwife fantasies, jealousy is a big component and tool for us to keep our men hot and bothered.  Sometimes just the mere mention of being flirted with by that cute guy at our favorite restaurant, or our interest in the sexy personal trainer at the gym is enough to send our men into a sexual frenzy.  It doesn’t take a lot to feed the fantasy.  It’s not ALL about dates and recounting how well we got worked over in the bedroom (and how much we loved it), though that is the ultimate turn on for our men, it’s also about the little things – the mention of our interest in someone else, the sexy messages that we send to potential lovers or Bulls, the “tease” of how much we loved what our last Bull did for us and how much we’re looking forward to doing it again.  Remember, this ignites the “competition” element of things, which is natural for men.

The More You Enjoy it, the More He Enjoys it

You may be thinking, “But I’m doing it for him, I’m not doing it for myself” (a common theme by A LOT of Hotwives), but in reality, our men WANT us to enjoy our encounters. They want to hear about what this “other guy” did for or to is that sent us over the edge, and yes, they want to hear what we liked better about the “other guy”.  I know it seems crazy, because we don’t want to imagine our men, even if we did allow them to be with other women, thinking that their “others” were better, sexier, hotter or had something that we don’t.  That’s because we don’t have that “competition drive” like our men do.

Let’s face it, despite what our men tell us – “It’s all about your pleasure” or “I don’t get anything out of it unless you’re enjoying it, because I love you so much” – this isn’t some ultimate “unselfish” thing our men are doing for us.  These things come out of their mouths, but what they are really saying is “I want to know that you came three times while he was fucking you, and you STILL want to come home to me”.  It’s their kink, and we have to understand it.  

So, if you’ve actually taken the step into the world of Hotwifing, you’re going to have to learn how to properly tease your man into believing that, just maybe, your Bull was better than him in some ways.  Whenever you think “But I’m only doing it for him”, follow that us with “I’m doing it for him and he WANTS to know that I absolutely enjoyed it”.  Find some aspect of your encounter that was mind-blowing, and recount, in great detail exactly what it was that sent you over the edge.  This may require a little bit of embellishment, and that’s OKAY…trust me…embellishment is your friend in this situation.  Tell your man about your Bull’s amazing cock, how good if felt, how good he tasted, how fantastic he was at oral sex, etc.  These are the things that will ramp up that competition streak in your man and make him want to reclaim you with increased vigor and desire.  

The More You Want Someone Else, The More Your Man Wants You

Again, you’re playing on the competition and the teasing aspect of things here…  The more that you act as if you WANT to be a Hotwife, the more that your husband or partner is going to WANT you.  His desire for you is going to skyrocket, his sexual desire for you is going to make it so that he’s ready to chew his own leg off to get you back in bed.  I have experienced this firsthand many times…if I am completely honest about an “encounter” and admit to “D” that my Bull was lacking in some way, or I didn’t quite “get there”, he isn’t nearly as turned on as when I tell him about how amazing things were.  I don’t like or believe in lying, but I do advocate for being selective and stretching the truth…maybe your lover wasn’t the best at giving oral sex, but maybe he was an amazing kisser, so a good answer would be “he was amazing with his mouth” and leave the rest up for interpretation.  

We’re women.  We are strong and capable and we are smart.  And the truth is, this is a GAME we are playing for and with our husbands/partners, so we need to get our heads into the game. Furthermore, this is an intellectual game, and we need to use our intellects to get to where we want to be.  Where do we want to be?  We want to have a husband/partner who is absolutely drooling over us, believes we are the ultimate sexual goddess, and in is jealous enough to realize that in order to “compete” they will need to step up their own game in order to “keep” us satisfied – be that with amazing sex, extra romance, other rewards, or all of the above.  

Happy Hotwifing!

-S

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Cuckold Angst Club

Over the next few weeks we experimented with me wearing the cage one or two days at a time and I wore it over both weekends for several days. Lindsey was annoyed that I acted like one or two days was a long time so she began edging me at least 3-5 times before putting it on.

One of my first truly chastised experiences came in a club we went to one Friday. She was dressed to kill. Super short, dark purple dress made of a light material that barely hung down below her ass. She watched me edge for a full 30 minutes before making me wedge the steel cage on. She looked at me as she put the key around her neck and said, “No matter what, this stays on for the weekend.” She jiggled the cage and smiled as she turned around to put on her shoes.

We arrived at the club and I bought us a couple of drinks. I was nervous but obviously very aroused by what was happening. She continually looked around and would lock eyes with guys. The difference between her and most girls is that she doesn’t look away. She owns you with that look. Can make a man do anything she wants, trust me. She asked me to dance with her. I knew she was going to make this hell for me but I was dying to.

Of course the beat was pounding through our bodies probably causing permanent hearing loss. The floor was pretty packed but we found a little square in the middle that was open for us. She started out facing me and had her leg in between mine and immediately I realized how short her dress really was. I could see the black thong barely covering her pussy as her dress rode up just a few inches. The way this girl moves her hips... it’s like a hypnotist casting their spell over every guy in proximity. She had her arms around my neck and kept me close. I was immediately straining against the steel.

It was a song and a half before she turned around and started grinding on me. I tried not to double over as my cock strained against the center bar at the end of the cage. I felt it digging straight into the middle of my cock and I could feel the precum being forced around it in a painful spurt. She was grinding slow and my hands lifted her dress and I ran them over her perfect ass. I started to have a sinking realization that chastity might have been a bad decision.

We danced for probably 15 minutes and she leaned in and basically had to yell into my ear, “How’s that cage feeling??” I yelled back, surprisingly with a smile, “TIGHT!” She laughed, turned her ass around while looking at me over her shoulder (with that damn lip bite she does), and began watching as she pushed her ass out and rubbed it right on my crotch. We danced for several more minutes before I had to go to the bathroom. Really badly. I told her I had to go and she motioned toward my cage and said, “Are you going to the lady’s room?” and she winked at me (obviously talking about how I have to sit to pee, for you non-chastity people) as I left her there in the middle of the dance floor.

I got in the bathroom and one stall was taken up by some girl getting her brains fucked out. Of course I got to listen to that. My cock was still straining and after I cleaned the nasty toilet seat I sat down and could hear the clanging of my lock while trying to calm down enough so I could actually pee. The unbelievably sexy sounds of the wanna be porn star next to me didn’t help. It took several minutes for my dick to even get down to where I could move it to the side of the bar to be able to pee. Finally, it happened. Ol girl was still getting reamed as I tried to conceal my cage as best as I could and then washed my hands. As I walked back to the dance floor I didn’t see Lindsey where I’d left her.

It took me several minutes to find her through the crowd. Then I spotted a familiar, tan leg partially visible past a jacked guy probably 6’4”. I looped around the edge of the dance floor and saw the purple dress I came with backed into the body of this stud. His hands were all over her body. I watched as he groped her breasts and she melted into his body. She grabbed his jeans on either side of his hips and pulled him into her and she was grinding her ass against her cock. When I first saw her she had her eyes closed and was biting her lip. I froze and just watched. Then I felt my cock spring again right into the metal bars and start straining.

One hand made its way down her body and I saw it lift her dress slightly, showing the black thong that I knew was absolutely drenched at this point. His hand slid down and gripped her crotch and her mouth started hanging open. She opened her eyes and was on a different planet. She had more lust in her eyes than I had seen since Derrick fucked her in front of me. She looked dead at me. She almost gave a half smile and I bit my lip and gave her a “sexy” smile. She turned her head up quickly and grabbed behind his head and kissed him deeply. They made out for a minute while he still rubbed her pussy. I looked at her other hand and saw it gripping his cocky through his jeans. The outline of his tool was crazy intimidating.

She finally just turned around and started full-on making out with him in the middle of the dance floor. His hands grabbed her ass and pulled up her dress up exposing most of her ass for the world to see. I felt a shooting pain through my cock as it pulsed into the metal bars. I watched for another minute before a girl broke me out of my trance with an, “Uhhh... you ok?” I snapped out of it and looked over to see a pretty attractive girl with a killer body. I couldn’t even appreciate it because I was still so in awe of what I was watching my girlfriend do.

I smiled pretty awkwardly and said, “Yeah, I’m good. Haha.” She said, “Alright, then dance with me.” This girl looked at least part Latina, was almost as tall as I am, and had on a tight red dress. She pulled me slightly by shirt to get me out onto the dance floor with her. She actually stopped me from staring at my wife constantly. She was gorgeous. We started dancing innocently enough. Within a few minutes she turned around and was starting to come back into me. Her ass was absolutely mesmerizing. I looked over and saw Lindsey still in another world with her stud, now just dancing face to face super close.

If I wouldn’t have been in the cage or in a relationship this would’ve been an amazing time... but the steel of the cage made sure I couldn’t enjoy this. I saw the girl look back over her shoulder a couple of times down toward my crotch. I’m sure she was thrown off by what was happening down there. After about 6-7 minutes of grinding on my cage she turned around and leaned in and basically had to yell over the music, “WHAT IS THAT?” In a panic I said, “WHAT IS WHAT?” She looked at me for a second and then grabbed my crotch. It was really painful because she inadvertently hit one of my nuts that was super tight thanks to my straining.

Her fingers felt over the cage and she said, “That.” I felt my heart race and my face turn bright red and I said, “Its a cage.” She arches an eyebrow and said, “...WHY?” “My girlfriend thinks it’s kinky, she keeps it there.” Not missing much of a beat she asks, “Where is your girlfriend?” I glance over to Lindsey and this girl starts laughing and says, “Oh shit... Hahahaha... she’s enjoying herself. Well, I want to get layed tonight, so... have a good one.” She walked away and I was awkwardly standing there thinking about what could have been.

A few more minutes went by and I was back at the bar but still watching Lindsey and straining like crazy. She and her boy toy were talking to each other and then I saw her turn around and start looking around, presumably for me. She finally saw me and while holding his hand drug him over to me and I could smell the sweat coming off of her. A lot of it was most likely his, of course. She was so turned on, I could see it in how her mouth was partially hanging open. She walked right up to me and said, “I need your keys. Follow us out.”

I handed her my car keys she pulled him toward the exit. I started to stumble behind them not quite sure what she had in mind. I saw him look over her shoulder at me and say something to her. All I heard was, “Don’t worry about him.” We got to my car and she unlocked it and got in the backseat. He was getting in when she turned to me and said, “Don’t let anyone bother us.” There were a ton of bars in this area and a whollllllle lot of foot traffic. He looked at me with a bit of a smirk and plenty of confusion while he closed the door.

The back windows of my car are tinted pretty dark and I couldn’t see anything but I could hear her panting and doing slight moans. The car was barely moving at this point and I stood by the door while they went at it. I could hear him laughing and her giggles afterward. The car started rocking more and more and the humiliation grew as more guys and of course the beautiful women walking by laughed and knew exactly what was happening. They looked at me with a “what the fuck?” look followed by a laugh. A couple of guys said stupid shit like, “Get it!” and a couple of sorority girls gave a “Woo woo!” as they continued by.

It seemed like forever but was probably about fifteen minutes before I heard the moaning and screaming stop. After another minute I heard some laughter and then the door pop open. Out came a hand holding a condom filled with semen. “Take care of this for us, will you, Buddy? Don’t want to fuck up your car.” I didn’t want to grab it and I stood there for a second before I took it and walked to the nearby sidewalk to throw it away.

When he got out of the car he was still shirtless. I felt like a little boy standing there. He put his shirt on while Lindsey talked to him. She looked at me and said, “Get his number.” I took out my phone and he took it to put his number in it. He handed it back to me and said, “put myself in as Big Dick John.” Just so there’s no confusion. He turned to walk away and slapped me on the shoulder and said, “Hope to see you soon buddy.”

I looked back at Lindsey and saw the sweat and bodily fluids all over my cloth backseats. She looked like she’d just run a marathon. She leaned up and said, “Baby, take me home.” She climbed into the front seat and her boob was still hanging out of her dress where he’d been gripping it. “How’s that cage feeling now?” she quipped. “Like a prison.” She laughed and said, “Aww... poor little fella.” She rubbed the cage through my pants.

When we got home she had me strip and just wearing the cage. She had her dress on still and was so sweaty and sloppy when she crawled onto my face and started riding me. She rode me for several minutes and came hard twice because she was still so turned on. She got off and lied next to me. We were relaxing and talking about how crazy hot the night was. She had my balls in her hand. She then said, “Oh, and by the way, (she started squeezing them increasingly hard) if you ever grind on another girl again without my permission I’ll crush these and we won’t need the cage. Ok?”

I swallowed and squeaked out a “Yes, Ma’am.” I stirred for hours that night with my cage crushing my attempted erection. Welcome home, penis.

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THE NEED

I never need my boyfriend more than after a long night spent with other men who only see me as an object, a piece of flesh to fuck and brag about to their friends.  They don’t care about my hopes or my dreams.  They don’t care to get to know me or have any substantive conversation that doesn’t directly relate to, or lead to sex.  They don’t care about my boyfriend or how much we love each other.  

They will never have what we have.  They will never understand the power of our connection or the timelessness of our bond.  They only get an evening, a few short hours of intense passion.  They mean nothing to me.  They don’t realize it, but to me they are the equivalent of a living sex toys that I’m just using to fulfill a burning desire, an essential “NEED” that, I’ve come to learn, can not be tamed or filled by a single man.

Through it all, there is only one man who is there, time and again, to make me feel loved, respected and needed.  Even after an evening such as this when I’ve returned to him with the cheap scent of another man’s cologne fresh on my body, he holds me.  Even with the salty taste of another man’s cum fresh on my lips, he kisses me.  And even though he knows other men just spent the past few hours thrusting their over-sized cocks deep inside of me, his one true love, he still makes me feel like his princess when he gets on his knees before me to sooth my sore, cum-filled, black cock addicted pussy with his soft hungry mouth as he looks up at me with his kind and oh-so-generous eyes, my sweet, loving cum-addicted prince!

XoXo Jenny