Lrs35 - Crying About Fictional Characters

i zoned out a few years ago and never zoned back in

sometimes making tea is less about drinking it and more about it keeping you company

i would be soooooo powerful if i wasn't so deeply afraid of people and places and also things

— Silas Denver Melvin, from GRIT: a poetry collection

when elena ferrante said “there are people who leave and people who know how to be left” and when richard siken said “someone has to leave first. this is a very old story. there is no other version of this story.” and when sally rooney wrote “if i told you where my car is right now, i don’t think i’d be able to leave, i think i would have to stay here just in case you changed your mind about everything” and when mikko harvey said “the number of hours we have together is actually not so large. please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it.”and when karese burrows wrote “i have never seen a door that doesn’t look like you leaving. look at me writing this poem. even here i don’t mean anything i say. except that I still want you. that whatever is in me still loves you deeply. it is a light i can’t turn off. i clap my hands and nothing happens.” and when margarita karapanou said “i never expected you to actually finish anything. you were always leaving. i always picture you with a suitcase in your hand.”

i literally love the rain so much when cars slow down and people hide in the stores and restaurants or bus stops with strangers or when they run home with plastic bags on their head or when groups of people share one umbrella i love you peace love even light and happiness on planet earth truly

Also picking up new books you’ve never heard of before because the premise sounds neat or the cover is pretty or it’s on a themed library display or you’re just trying to read your library’s entire catalogue of 90s cyberpunk is just fun. Sometimes it’s not your thing but you get to mull over new ideas or the diversity of people and opinions and thoughts in the world. Sometimes you discover your new favorite book of all time

i just think they are always on the kitchen floor you know what i mean. like they’ve lived in this shoebox flat two months now but can’t be fucked to buy any furniture all they’ve got is a scratchy red sofa and some bookshelves and as a table they’re using a flipped-over cardboard box that’s got peeling tape and ‘records books other shit’ written on the side in blue marker it’s waterlogged and has mug rings on both sides and that’s all they have so they’re just sitting on the kitchen floor sleep-rumpled in pjs eating their toast in the morning and sitting on the kitchen floor in silence after moons and missions covered w dirt and blood and bruises and some nights they’re sitting on the kitchen floor passing a bottle of cheap liquor between them and they’re laughing and listening to records and sharing a joint and the window is open w a breeze coming through and also sometimes they’re sitting on the kitchen floor eating cereal in the middle of the night w their knees touching sneaking little glances at each other and other times they are fucking on that kitchen floor and other other times they are just quietly saying i love you. on the kitchen floor.

the crushing guilt of being unproductive vs the exhaustion of being burned out. fight.

I'm like if a chill girl had the need to control everything around her