Happy Birthday, John Malevolent Doe

ITS BACK QUICK DOWNLOAD THE 20K WORDS FANFIC BEFORE ITS TOO LATE

Was just listening to some guy speaking about some analog horror and then I heard him say "Kayne-" and I swear to god I never flipped my head so quickly before

Would have been 10x funnier if they added flashbacks to traumatic events then cut back to laughter. Anyways here's all his traumatic hole falls

Please, John! Let me do a little murder! Come on! You weren't here! It was so hard! Just let me have a little murder! As a treat! meow meow meow

John: Arthur, did it hurt when you fell?!

Arthur: From heaven?

John: The cave Arthur, you almost died!

I may have made the Kayne on the fic am writing a fucking gen z and you know what that's okay 😔

what truly gets me about the "in the next life you should come visit my library" scene is that it's specifically an answer to Phainon wanting to learn more about the kremnoan language. yes they're bickering but it's also about wanting to understand Mydei better. and Mydei really says "if the world was kinder to us i'd tell you more about me. if we had more time i'd let you closer"

A collection of nicknames/names/titles Kayne has called John and Arthur:

John:

- Hastur

- King

- He Who is Not to Be Named

- Lord of Carcosa

- Your (Arthur’s) better half

- Hastur’s Heart

- This yella fella/yellow fellow

- Lovable curmudgeon (who just wants a second chance)

- Darling

- Narrator

- Fair weathered friend

- Golden Boy

- Lemon Head

- Honey

Arthur Lester:

- My love

- Artie

- The little boy from Arkham that made it so

- Kiddo

- The kid

- The Investigator from Arkham

- Our little English rose

- Canary in a coal mine

I am going fucking insane

FINALLY, GONNA DOWNLOAD BEFORE ITS TOO LATE