Sometimes My Friends Send Me Good Reels

Season 3 Elias is so goddamn fucking funny to me I forgot what a rollercoaster he was during my first listen.

Like the s2 finale has Jurgen Leitner giving Jon the whole "monsters are real speech" and Jon's like "I need a cigarette. NO ONE get brutal pipe murdered while I'm gone" and Jurgen fails step 1 because Elias walks in and grabs Jon's point-and-click-adventure pipe he'd been carrying around and Brutal Pipe Murders. Which, of course, Jon walks back in on and is prime suspect #1 due to literally every single feature trait and word he's said in the entirety of s2.

So naturally s3 starts with Jon on the lam and Officer Tonner like "I'm gonna arrest him for brutal pipe murder" and I'M like "Shit. I hate this. Elias is going to SO easily pin it on Jon and get away with it."

EXCEPT Elias walks in and is like "hello Ms. Officer no Jon Archivist did not kill that man, also I won't tell you anything else, also this is what you sound like" while reciting all her childhood trauma and all her illegal activity that will get HER sent to jail for brutal murder of the non-pipe variety and now I'm like "....huh." He's also like "Jon didn't do it but you can kill him if you want maybe :)" Elias your alibi????

And then we come BACK with Jon storming Elias's office with his two lesbian bodyguards as back up and he's like "I'm gonna use my powers to make you confess to pipe murder!" At which point Elias is like "It doesn't work on me. But I'm having fun so Martin go get everyone I need to tell you all how I committed pipe murder." and Martin does and Elias is like "Yes I pipe murdered. I also killed Gertrude. I love murder. You will not be compensated extra for this time. Get back to work." And they... DO... just go back to work. Because work is haunted. One of the lesbian police officers works here now, too. This just happened. "Also living dolls from Russia are about to Apocalypse the world, Jon go stop it," Elias says, while also saying "no I'm not gonna tell you how to stop it."

Okay???? Mr. Elias man??? And you're like "maybe he's a ruthless tactician? Maybe he's brutal but it's all in the interest of stopping the doll apocalypse??? He wants to save the earth???" Except THAT'S not even true it's actually more like he's trying to get the Russian dolls kicked out of line at Disney World so HE gets to meet Mickey Mouse first by which I mean, start his OWN Apocalypse, because if the dolls do it first well then what's the point of apocalypsing a planet that's become someone else's sloppy seconds.

Anyway Elias's master strategy here is to bring the human equivalent of a drowned cat to the gun fight and just sit back and watch Jon fall down every set of stairs he finds while Elias goes "This is good. This will work." His name isn't even fucking Elias.

SOUND THE ALARM 🚦

"wow !! i just defeated Troupe Leader Grimm !!" i said with joys

((and even though the ritual "isn't complete" i probably won't have to fight him again, since his information is complete in the Hunter's journal

i was then shot fifty-seven times.

scar lored then i got possessed

Ro ro ro ur boat

i will forever cry over how robin lost ramy and griffin after both of them saved him. only for him not to be able to continue life. because the grief was greater than he could bear. the pain was too much for him to think of the life after the strike. after all he did in the spirit of his late brother and dearest friend.

i will forever cry over robin letting victoire go. i simply couldn't find the words to describe the bond that they had. it was meant to be. victoire was the voice of reason between the two and robin just couldn't get through all of it, not without griffin and ramy. she made up her mind and so did he and it was hurtful to witness this two souls make peace with their choices. im going insane over this.

it's what she deserved

Melanie King s3 alternative ending

i love when people clutch their pearls with flavour. "oh my days" "what the shit" "autism" like yas you go girl

look at. look at my boys.

Doodle of a hungry little guy