One Year Of Dream And Sapnap Being Roomates-one Year Of A 10-year-long-friendship Seeing Each Other For

smells like team spirit part2

Pairing; Jock!Roommate!Simon 'Ghost' Riley x fem reader

Summary; The rest of the 141 make their appearances, Simon mulls over how his friendship with you has progressed and unfortunately makes an announcement.

Warnings; 18+, everything on my blog is 18+ though this chapter has no explicit sexual content, just some strong language and a few inappropriate comments/thoughts!!

(a/n) chapter 2!! hope y'all like it! i don't have a schedule for posting, but let me know if you guys want a taglist or something!

Word count; 3.6k

“Look-fine fine okay I have a damn girlfriend so can you all just fucking lay off already?!”

Price, Soap and Gaz all jerk in surprise before freezing, speechless.

Soap dribbles a bit of beer onto the table, and the temporary spell is broken. 

“Well done lad it’s been long enough-”

“Do we know her? I bet it’s that girl from the Starbucks-”

“Well why haven’t we fucking met her? Bring her to a game or-”

Simon puts his head in his hands, wondering what the hell he’s just done.

-

That morning

The past five months or so have been…nice. 

You and he aren’t close, not really, but it’s nice having another person in his apartment he was right about that.

You’ve settled into a kind of routine, and it works well for both of you. Sometimes you see each other in the morning as you grab food or drinks from the kitchen and then you’re usually on your way to class or the library, you come back after your lectures and he’s leaving for lacrosse training or a game, he gets back and you’re going to your room or doing work.

Simon sits at the breakfast bar in the kitchen as he watches you grab your lunch for that day from the fridge, phone poised in front of him to pretend he’s doing something else. Sometimes, like now, he kind of wishes your routines aligned a little more. It’s nice having someone else here, but occasionally (often, all of the time) he wishes that you were comfortable enough to sit with him and have a movie night or something, to text him and ask if he wants to get some takeout for that evening, anything like that. 

He has friends don’t get him wrong, they’re just all guys from the lacrosse team. A few other acquaintances from his other classes that he’ll go for nights out with or whatever, but you and he are still just as politely friendly as you were when you moved in. Comfortable enough to say hi and ask about your afternoon, to ask what classes you have today, but not enough to ask if you want to watch the new episode of a show in the evening. 

Simon looks down as you stuff your things into a bag, frowning at his lap. 

It’s not a crush. It’s simply a…longing for friendship, that’s it. It doesn’t cause him too many problems, and no one else knows about it, but he just-he wants more. A little more. 

He wants to be able to text you and ask if you want your favourite from the restaurant down the road, he wants to know what all your favourites are. He knows which drink you prefer from the on campus Starbucks because you had a brief conversation about it one time, but other than that? Not much. 

He’s looked at all the books you have on the shelf in the living room and tried to decipher you, wondered what they all said about your personality. He’s seen all your food in the fridge and remembers that you always have pizza on a Friday night, he saw you come into the apartment one time on the phone as you laughed and smiled at a bouquet of flowers you were holding. 

Against his will, his stomach had bottomed out at the thought of you having been on a date and been bought flowers by someone. 

He keeps telling himself he’s just biding his time, he’s waiting for the right moment to get to know you better. There will be a perfect moment, he’s sure of it, one day it will be exactly the right time to ask if you want to get some food maybe, to ask if you want to go to a movie or a show or maybe one of his games-it would start a little rocky, both of you a little nervous but then he’d make you laugh somehow and the conversation would flow from there, the evening ending in both of you admitting you’d been wanting to get closer for a while now.

Simon blinks, trying to push down all of that. It turns out the flowers had been from your family, a congratulations for doing well or getting a good grade or something or other in your uni work, but he’d still felt empty and morose about the whole thing. Telling himself he’s biding is time is fine until it’s shoved in his face that he’s really just being a bit of a coward, hiding from his crush on you and pretending it doesn’t exist. 

“You say you have a game today?”

His head jerks up, broken out of his melancholy trance at your voice. 

“Yeah-yeah against Marjon, it’s a home game so it’ll probably be drinks afterwards with the guys as well,” Simon replies and smiles wryly at you, “Don’t worry I won’t be stumbling in drunk at four in the morning you have my word.”

He gets a chuckle from you in response and his body lights up, heart rate going up a notch even as he tries to ignore the reaction. You grab your bag and your drink from the counter, shoving your phone and your keys into a pocket as you turn toward the front door.

“Well, good luck-even though they don’t stand a chance-bye!”

Simon smiles at the door as it swings shut behind you, something warm fluttering in his chest. 

A few seconds later he shakes his head, looking back down at his phone as it buzzes with a barrage of texts from Soap to the team group chat.

Soap: YOU FUCKERS READY???????

Soap: SI GET OFF YOUR ARSE AND GET TO TRAINING

Soap: GAZ GET OUT OF BED

Soap: CAP PUT ON A SMILE I’LL BEHAVE TODAY

Soap: ;))))

Soap: LETS GUT THESE FUCKERS

It’s not even that serious a game, there aren’t really any huge stakes-and Simon knows for a fact that Soap regularly talks to two of the players on the Marjon team no matter how much he calls them bastards. 

He gets up nonetheless, sliding his phone into his pocket as it buzzes a few more times. No doubt Gaz insisting he’s been out of bed for hours-though they all know that’s a lie-and Price telling Soap to please, PLEASEnot call the opposing team bastards and cunts to their faces like he did at their last game. That black eye was not worth it.

Simon goes about his normal routine, showering and grabbing all his stuff before making his bed and wandering back out of his room. There’s a book lying open, page down on the table next to the sofa. He pauses and picks it up, looking for the bookmark he knows you must have left somewhere.

It’s hidden under another book, and he slots it in between the pages before closing it and placing it with the small pile you have going. 

-

Soap is running laps hell for leather around the pitch when he arrives, Gaz is napping on a bench and Price is watching Soap tiredly with a coffee in hand. 

He ambles over to his captain, dropping his bag on the floor and watching Soap start zig zagging instead. 

“Little fucker hasn’t stopped for twenty minutes-we haven’t even lost to Marjon in three years and the team is better than ever with you lot.” Price sighs, downing the last of his coffee and chucking the cup in the bin next to him. It clangs and jerks Gaz awake, who rolls off of the bench and curls up on the floor instead. 

“You know what he’s like though, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him tired unless he’s drunk his way through four pubs and done a lap dance for some poor guy in a bar,” Simon chuckles in response. He glances at Price, taking in the guarded expression underneath the caffeinated tiredness. “Have you-did they figure out the table? We know who we’re playing this year?” The words come out with a very noticeable forced nonchalance, and he winces at the fact that Price will be able to see through him in seconds.

As expected, the captain sends a scornful look his way and then sighs. 

“I’m getting it tomorrow, but I think know who we’re playin’ anyway, don’t you?” Price crosses his arms and looks down, kicking the tip of his shoe into the astroturf lightly. He curses under his breath. “I know it’s gonna be him, it has to be.”

Graves.

Simon doesn’t know much about him or his team, just vague rumours about a match Price played against him a couple of years ago, that Price wasn’t team captain the year after, and one of their players dropped out of uni shortly afterward. He scrutinises his captain for a moment, wondering if he’ll ever find out. Him and Price are close, have become the closest from the team by far and Simon knows they’ll be in contact long after they’re done with their lacrosse days, but there’s things like this that he doubts he’ll ever know. 

Price shoots him a tired smile and claps him on the back before walking over to where Konig is practising.

Simon watches Soap for a few more minutes before heading into the locker rooms to get changed, methodically donning his gear and ambling back out to see Gaz finally up and about, lobbing a ball back and forth with Soap as Price shows Konig something. He makes his way over to the first two, picking up on snippets of their conversation of he gets closer.

“Nah she wasn’t-”

“She was I already fuckin’ told you she was-”

“Johnny she was NOT into you she was staring at me the entire time-”

“Yeah you wish she was-can’t admit she just wanted to get a load of this-” Soap is cut off as a ball hits him in the stomach, leaving him wheezing.

The conversation makes Simon grit his teeth, psyching himself up for what he knows without a doubt is about to come. 

Gaz begins first, probably because Soap looks like he’s trying not to retch on the astro turf. 

“You see anyone at the pub on the weekend Ghost? Cmon you must have had your eye on someone?” Gaz waggles his eyebrows at the end before shooting a look at Soap, who grins and straightens up. He only looks a little green. 

“After all, need someone to teach you about the birds and the bees-”

Simon groans, pulling his gloves on and grabbing his stick, “Here we fuckin’ go…”

Soap hooks his arm around Gaz’s shoulders, holding his free hand up placatingly. “Look mate we’re just trynna help, none of us want you to die a virgin. You just gotta put yourself out there-some lucky lass is gonna think those broad shoulders and that rugged scar are handsome and you’ll be grand! Just gotta make a wee bit of effort mate!” He raises his arms victoriously even as Simon furrows his brow and looks down, avoiding his teammates eyes. 

“I’m not a…” He mutters, before shaking his head and looking back up. “It’s not-look can we just fuckin’ practice? Don’t forget you ended up on your ass yesterday because you were too busy showing off to see me coming straight for you-” Simon brusquely responds, raising his voice so the other teammates hear him. It works, a few bursts of laughter reach him as they evidently remember how Soap went flying after Simon came for him the day before.  

They train for a couple of hours, during which Simon takes great pleasure in hitting Soap in the back with a ball, Gaz on the stomach and Price on his thigh-which earns a seething look from his captain. The practice also helps take his mind off of his far too intimate thoughts this morning, and the mocking from his teammates. Before long he’s worked up a sweat, jogging around the pitch and checking on Soap and Gaz-they might have all three joined the team this year but Simon has been doing lacrosse for two years before this, and pretty quickly worked his way to vice captain under Price. 

As they finish, said captain jogs over to him as they make their way to the locker room. They walk in silence for a few moments, and Simon waits for the inevitable comments that are to come. It only takes another few seconds.

“Yknow son,” Price has called him ‘son’ since they met, even though he’s only a year older, “it wouldn’t hurt to find someone you like. Not just so you get laid or whatever else the lads keep talking about, but I’d like to-well, it’d be nice to see you happy with someone.” He’s quiet for another couple of seconds, and Simon keeps his gaze forward, fiddling with his gloves for no reason. “No that you can’t be happy without a partner or someone to lean on but-I don’t know, I think it would be good for you. You just-” The captain sighs and stops walking. 

Simon stop a pace or so in front of him and turns around with a bored expression on his face, wishing this conversation would just be over.

Price stares at him, his gaze soft and making Simon feel like he can see anything he wants. 

“You just seem like you have a chip on your shoulder sometimes, lad. I’m not saying a girlfriend-or boyfriend or whatever-would ‘fix’ anything, but it-I think it would be good for you. I only ever see you train, talk to us and drink with us. Like you’re just going through the motions. You don’t even mention your family to us-not that you have to, but…someone to lean on might be a nice change.”

Simon blinks at him, opening his mouth before closing it again. Price has joined in on the jokes before, ragged on him until Simon has snapped and and bellowed at them all to shut up, but this is the most…emotional way he’s ever said it. Like he truly cares about this, like he really wants Simon to find someone, like he wants him to be happy and comfortable with someone who cares about him. It’s odd, and Simon doesn’t know how to respond. 

-

Unsurprisingly, they win the game.

And unsurprisingly it leads to drinks afterwards at a pub near the university buildings, crammed full of the team and students who came to watch them. Simon has no doubt they enjoyed watching the game, but is under no impression they’re here to celebrate the win-it’s a chance to drink themselves unconscious and that’s enough for them. 

There’s empty pint glasses littering the table a bunch of them are crammed onto already, and they’re all clutching sloshing glasses as guys yell and laugh around him. 

He winces as Gaz begins bellowing in his ear, “Think we all deserve another pint for that last shot don’t we? Who’s buying?” Simon decides not to mention that the last two pints were bought in name of ‘that last shot’ as well, and debates if Gaz can even remember how this infamous shot went as he almost falls off of his chair. 

Price raises a hand and dutifully stands from the table, stifling a belch as he makes his way to the bar on the other side of the room. Nights like these after a game are the only times Simon ever sees Price let loose a bit, sees him relax and let his guard down around them a bit more. 

He can say all he wants about Simon and the chip on his shoulder, about having someone other than his teammates and all, but he never sees the captain with anyone either. He’s seen girls come up and flirt with him, captain of the lacrosse team, handsome, a wealth that he doesn’t brag about and a friendly demeanour-but he never goes home with anyone. Simon dismisses these thoughts quickly as the man in question dumps a tray of pints onto the table, which is promptly descended on by the rest of the team. 

The next few hours pass entertainingly, complete with a darts game that ends with a dart in Rudy’s shoulder, courtesy of Soap, Gaz trying to stand on the bar before he falls off and rips his trousers on the way down-and Alejandro trying to make his way to the other side of the room to hit on a girl before falling and landing flat on his face. 

By the end of it Simon is the only remotely sober one-who will most likely be sorting out taxis and making sure everyone arrives home alive and well. 

Things start to wind down a bit, with the woman behind the bar kicking out some of the more rowdy students and leaving the other non-university patrons, Simon, Price, Soap, Gaz and Alejandro-though he’s asleep in a chair. A little while later the others begin to sober up slightly, slowing their drinking and talking quietly, giggling at the smallest things and falling over each other a little bit. Simon drains the last of his pint and sets it down, looking up to see Soap’s eyes big and round as he stares at him, evidently pleading for something.

“Say G-Ghost-you wouldn’t-ah fuck-wouldn’t wanna go and get the next-next round eh?” He hiccups through the sentence, swaying a little side to side even though he’s sat down. 

Simon sighs, knowing Soap won’t relent. “Yeah yeah I’ll go-keep your knickers on-”

Soap sing-songs in response, “No promises!” And Gaz dissolves into a fit of giggles at it, fanning himself at the apparently hilarious joke.

The woman behind the bar looks wary as he approaches, no doubt assuming he’s pissed out his tree like the rest of the team. He only orders half pints this time, hoping everyone will still be conscious by the time they want to leave. A quick glance back to check everyone is upright as the woman pours his pints shows Soap, Price and Gaz all huddled together around the table and whispering furtively. Oh boy. That can’t be good. 

As Simon loads up Apple Pay, Gaz glances over to him. Definitely not good at all.

He counts to ten slowly as he brings the drinks back to their table, trying to prepare himself for whatever is about to happen.

Price squints at him. 

“Got your eye on anyone tonight?” 

Simon groans and takes a swig of his pint. “Tell me you’re not all on about this fucking shit again-tell me you’re not.” 

They all look either away or at the table, and he sighs, setting his drink down to lean back and cross his arms. “Unbelievable. Do you fuckers have nothing else to do? At this rate you’ll be so busy trying to pry into my relationships that you lot won’t have time for your own-”

Soap perks up at that. “Relationships? A relationship? You’ve got someone? Si are you telling me you’ve found someone?!” 

The man in question stutters, fingers spasming where they’re trapped against his side as he tries to get a hold of the situation. 

“No-no that’s not-I mean like-in theory or-I didn’t mean-”

His breathing picks up, suddenly unsure what he’s got himself into. It was bad enough when they ragged on him nonstop but this might actually turn out to be worse.

Gaz clutches his arm, eyes wide as he stares up and starts rambling, “But you said-you just-you were just saying to us-Ghost! Ghost you literally just said! You’re with someone?! Oh that’s fucking brilliant! Guys! More drinks we-we should like-let’s celebrate! Let’s do SHOTS-boys gonna get laid!”

Simon ignores the image of you that flashes through his mind and splutters into his pint, setting it down clumsily onto the table and trying to untangle Gaz from his arm. Price sits opposite with his arms crossed and mouth hanging open as he watches Simon, Soap has his chin propped on his hand with a dreamy expression and Gaz is practically vibrating in his seat.

“No no I didn’t-that’s not what I don’t-I’m not-Gaz no no no you can’t-” He mumbles in response, attempting to figure out how to get out of this. They’re all so far gone none of them will listen properly anymore. 

Gaz turns to him and furrows his brow, making Simon watch him nervously for whatever he’s about to say. 

“You-you don’t want us to know? Don’t you wanna to tell us about your life? Aren’t we-Ghost we’re a teaaaaam!” He sounds whiny at the end, dragging the word out until Simon pokes him in the arm to get him to stop. 

Soap seems to have latched on as well, suddenly looking forlornly at him. Price’s head falls back as he nods off in his chair so at least Simon doesn’t have to worry about him-until Gaz leans over and slaps his bicep to wake him up. Somehow he also seems to get the gist and watches Simon with a disappointed look on his face, and he snaps.

“Look-fine fine okay I have a damn girlfriend so can you all just fucking lay off already?!”

Price, Soap and Gaz all jerk in surprise before freezing, speechless.

Soap dribbles a bit of beer onto the table, and the temporary spell is broken. 

“Well done lad it’s been long enough-”

“Do we know her? I bet it’s that girl from the Starbucks-”

“Well why haven’t we fucking met her? Bring her to a game or-”

Simon puts his head in his hands, wondering what the hell he’s just done.

MASTERLIST

comments and reblogs so so so so much appreciated!! likes don't share posts or boost them or anything, but comments and reblogs do!! if you don't then i hope you enjoyed reading anyway!! <3

coming back from hibernation because LEWIS TO FERRARI???? WHAT???

Hello‼️ 🍉🍉🍉

I hope you are well.

Could you help me reblog the post my account and share my story with friends with a big heart and soul. I really need help in this fierce battle for Life in Gaza!,

I hope you can support for donating any amount you can and stand by me at the beginning in this difficult time. ♥️

Thank you for every kind gesture and thought of yours.🙏

of course! i pray for you and your family to be safe and for you to recover from this, im happy to help in any way i can ❤️

DAYLIGHT

lando norris x fem!oc

summary:Adaezela Samu and Lando Norris have called each other their best friends for as long as they can both remember, until one of them decides to deal with the raising tension between them.

part 1 , part 2 ,

adaezelasamu just posted a new story !

⤷user1 DID LANDO GIVE YOU THOSE FLOWERS???

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⤷landonorris wow whoever bought you those flowers must be a real gentleman 🤔

landonorris just posted a new story !

adaezelasamu just posted !

likes by landonorris , lnfour , danielricciardo , carmenmmundt and 56.949 more

family dinner ❤️

landonorris yum yum

⤷user3 ofc youre first you little simp

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user2 isnt that the same puppy lando posted on his ig 😃

⤷user3 he prob went with her

user4 "family dinner" but lando was there, is she soft launching???

⤷user1 her family and lando's have been friends since before they were born, let them be friends

landonorris the twins 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

⤷adaezelasamu their little messy faces 😭😭

callansamu yh dont post me 🙄

⤷adaezelasamu YOU WERE THE ONE WHO DIDN'T WANT TO GET PICS YOU LIAR

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lilymhe GORGEOUS 😍😍

⤷adaezelasamu WIFEEEEE

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danielricciardo tell mama cathy that she has to bring some food to the paddock soon!

⤷adaezelasamu mama says shes gonna bake some cookies for you and lewis

⤷lewishamilton 🥰🥰🥰

⤷landonorris im still her favourite

carlossainz55 not fair why do they get free food and i dont

⤷adaezelasamu youre a menace to society but ok

⤷user5 LMFAOOOOOO 😭😭😭

charles_leclerc Bon appétit!

adaezelasamu liked this reply!

landonorris orange is better btw

⤷adaezelasamu yeah?

⤷landonorris yupppp

ahem 🐐

Advice: don't tag X reader if it's not X reader. You can get reported for spam!

ops, i didn't even notice. thank you !

Hello🤗❤️

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Can you help me get my voice heard

and share my family's story?🙏🏻

Can you Reblog my pinned post from my blog or donate 10$?

By helping to reblog my story, you could

save a family from death and war.🌹

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🕊️❤️🌹🙏🏻

.

appendix touch ✧ max verstappen

max verstappen x ferrari! fem! reader

masterlist

the beloved ferrari heiress just had her appendix removed, and now the whole world is convinced that she's going to start an epidemic

[messages]

[instagram]

[twitter]

[instagram]

yn_ferrari

liked by maxverstappen1 and 1.735.028 others

yn_ferrari I understand that, without my agreement, my father has put out an instagram story this afternoon that makes it seem like I’m dying. This is true, I do feel like I’m dying. I’m having my appendix removed.

view all 1.832 comments

maxverstappen1 Will get that win for you 💙

↳ yn_ferrari no, thanks ❤️

↳ papaferrari Please let Carlos/Charles win for Y/N’s faster recovery 😊

username SHE’S SO UNSERIOUS 😭

oscarpiastri 🤨

↳ yn_ferrari poet of the century

alex_albon Been there, done that

↳ yn_ferrari teach me your ways, master

username THANK GOD IT’S JUST AN APPENDIX

username get well soon mother

carlossainz55 Get well soon, mi hermana 😂

↳ yn_ferrari soy lago

↳ landonorris stop copying me 😒

charles_leclerc Fake 🤭

↳ yn_ferrari i’ll pinch your appendix with my bare hands so you’d know how it feels

↳ alexandrasaintmleux 😨

↳ yn_ferrari look away, my love 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

scuderiaferrari Get well soon, Boss ❤️

[messages]

[instagram]

[twitter]

[instagram]

scuderiaferrari

liked by papaferrari and 2.736.991 others

scuderiaferrari Patient 0, Patient 1, and Charles 😄 The gang is finally back in a land down under 🦘

tagged yn_ferrari, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc

view all 2.155 comments

username Y/N YOU BETTER STAY AWAY FROM CHARLES 😭

papaferrari My children 🧒🧒🧒

username favorite trio ever

username the fact that we won't be seeing them together again next year 😞

yn_ferrari admin... what's with the caption? 🙂

↳ scuderiaferrari Hi boss, please don't fire me

charles_leclerc I'm a survivor ❤️‍🩹

↳ yn_ferrari you're next 👹

↳ papaferrari Don't say that kind of thing, I can't have all of my children go through the same surgery three weeks in a row

↳ charles_leclerc 🤪🤪🤪 yn_ferrari

↳ carlossainz55 We'll try again next time yn_ferrari

username she's got that appendix touch, because every appendix that she touches starts to burst 🤷‍♀️

↳ yn_ferrari HELP 💀

[twitter]

[instagram]

yn_ferrari

liked by maxverstappen1 and 3.283.332 others

yn_ferrari beyond proud of what you guys achieved today, words can't describe how i feel! and no, contrary to popular belief i had nothing to do with max's dnf 😮‍💨

ps. someone said i've got the appendix touch, soo... if you're interested just hit me up

view all 3.122 comments

maxverstappen1 🙍‍♂️

maxverstappen1 Enjoy it while it lasts, Schat 😑

↳ yn_ferrari I will 😽

redbullracing You're temporarily banned from our garage🙏

↳ yn_ferrari I DIDNT DO ANYTHING?!

↳ redbullracing A source spotted you touching the rear wing of Max's car 💔

↳ yn_ferrari THAT'S A LIE.... scuderiaferrari STEP UP?

↳ scuderiaferrari Sorry, we're too focused on celebrating P1 and P2

↳ mercedesamgf1 Wow, can't relate scuderiaferrari

username why is there a video of you running down the pitlane after race, pls explain 😭

↳ yn_ferrari i was watching the race with max at red bull’s hospitality 🏃‍♀️💨

carlossainz55 Us 1 - Appendicitis 0 🍾

↳ yn_ferrari yes sir 🫡

charles_leclerc Can I have my appendix removed too? papaferrari

↳ papaferrari No

landonorris Do mine next, I need to win

alex_albon Can I have my appendix removed again?

↳ yn_ferrari control your man lilymhe 😭

↳ lilymhe bffr 🤬

username FORZA FERRARI SIEMPRE

↳ yn_ferrari rrrAAAGHHHH 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎

scuderiaferrari We're so happy, our appendix literally burst 🥹

↳ username new merch idea?

↳ scuderiaferrari Noted 📝

papaferrari Dinner on me tonight 😎 carlossainz55 charles_leclerc

↳ charles_leclerc Finally

↳ carlossainz55 On my way!

↳ maxverstappen1 Can I come too?

↳ papaferrari I guess so, Y/N would be mad if I didn't invite you

↳ charles_leclerc Max got a pity invite 🤭

↳ yn_ferrari KEEP MY BOYFRIEND'S NAME OUT OF YOUR F-ING MOUTH

↳ lewishamilton Can i come? 🤔

↳ carlossainz55 My wound is still fresh...

↳ yn_ferrari LET HIM HAVE THIS ONE, SIR. WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT YEAR 🤗

--

pictures (c) to pinterest and instagram

💗🎀

papa!simon hc's cause I want to.

He sniffs the baby so much, to the point it makes Babygirl cry of discomfort. He loves the newborn smell, especially after a bath.

He will not co-sleep!!! Very anxious first time parent, he believes one of you will crush the baby, so he has a bassinet in your guy's room. No naps together, nothing.

Is a baby talker.

Don't hold his baby. (he's a baby hog)

Makes people wash their hands. all. the. time.

Simon being a parent to a toddler is so hectic because he will argue with a two year old.

Hates to see his daughter cry and will buy her anything she wants, and will do anything, because he hates to see her sad.

Simon loves to watch tv, and he makes the baby watch tv with him, she always falls asleep but he doesn't care.

Always hugging his babies, giving them kisses, patting their heads, he just loves his kids so much i'm gonna cry rn WAHHHHHHHHH

When you have your twin boys, Simon decides maybe he shouldn't be in the SAS anymore, he has babies he needs to come home to.

Twins look exactly like Simon it's creepy. Simon thinks it's hilarious, and tells the boys he made them in a military lab using his blood. He went too far one time and made them both cry because he said the government was looking for them.

His eldest is favorite, if he could shrink her and put her in his pocket and protect her from everything.. he would.

Will wrestle with his children, doesn't matter the age.

After the first, he wants at least five kids. You always say no.

When you were pregnant Simon always rubbed your belly at home, in public, where ever, the man loves a bump.

HOME VIDEOOOOSSS, birthdays, births, holidays, school plays, recitals, award ceremonies, sports. whatever it is he's there with a camera.

Takes little league football very seriously, and is having a deep ass conversation with the coach and assistant coach. This is children's football we're talking about, lay off the 4 year olds.

”The AI's nice to me.. He's my mate” 😅

Oh honey.. It's not even suppose to be you! 😂❤️