Snom???

The way that exclusionists treat ace and aro people often reminds me of how the average person would treat me when I started being open as non-binary. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a thousand times, we are not enemies. Our experiences do not oppose each other, they are intertwined. If you’re ace, if you’re aromantic, if you’re any variation thereupon; your home is here. You belong here, too. You are beautiful, and powerful; and you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. You are a valued part of this community.

My arospec journey

From a young age I literally always had a "crush". It was this compulsive force and, as I now understand, very much overcompensation. It wasn't until about two years ago, when I was 24, that I began to really understand this. And even now there are some aspects I don't fully understand.

This constantly "crushing" on people was influenced by amatonormativity, heteronormativity, and my own escapist tendencies. It was a defense mechanism, not only to appear "normal" but also to distract from my mental health issues. Finding out about aromanticism, as well as therapy, has helped me to find and to be my truest self.

Looking back now I realize that I never actually felt romantic attraction. The relationships I had brought me pleasure because I liked the attention and certain aspects of the relationships. I like being affectionate and having someone to do stuff with. I've noticed my tendency to choose to crush on someone based on my current obsession and like state of mind or sense of self. I realized that other people don't do that. For example, I like the Weasley twins and sometimes I'm more into Fred, sometimes it's George. 

I have been in love, or something similar, with two people. With the one who happened to be a girl, it was more like queerplatonic love. I felt this strong desire to be platonic life partners and spend my life with her. I also wanted to be both sensual and sexual with her. I was already best friends with her but I wanted there to be some sort of emotional commitment. But none of this was romantic. With the guy it wasn't as straight forward. We were friends and I wanted to be more. I wanted to be his life partner but it wasn't 100% platonic or 100% romantic. There were times it seemed more in the middle of the two or it veered more towards one of them. I mostly just wanted to be with him but sometimes I felt a desire to marry him. I felt sensual and sexual desire for him as well. This may have been queerplatonic love influenced by amatonormativity tbh. It took me years to get over him and the heartbreak that occurred.

With other people I felt/feel some emotional attraction to it's not as intense. For some it's more of an extra affectionate friendship and the associated feelings don't occur unless I think about them. I don't usually have long lasting "crushes". There's only one I can think of that wasn't detailed above. That one was queerplatonic in nature and was almost casual in a way. Definitely more of a "crush" than being "in love". 

When it's more along the lines of the affectionate friendship attraction, I think of them as cute and want to hug them a lot. I want to be friends with them but also have aesthetic attraction towards them. I don't think of them sexually or want to be life partners.

With people I feel a desire to be life partners with I tend to daydream about them from time to time. I want to be their priority and to be their favorite person, since that's how I feel about them. I want to share my life with them. I want to live together and share the same bed. I want intimacy, emotional and physical. I want to kiss them and to cuddle with them. I would be willing to marry them, though it's not something I desire for myself. I feel warm and excited when I think about them and when I interact with them. They're my special person.

On Death Stranding, Queerphobia, and Rape Culture

This tweet was brought to my attention and I’d like to go over it.

In the following text, I will break down line by line this the above is just biblically old homophobia, recycled queerphobia in general, as well as sexism and rape culture.

Keep reading

I had a sort of revelation recently. A lot of scenes Ive seen on tv were not as strange as I thought, I just wasnt picking up on the ~sexual tension~ and it made the scenes a lot more awkward and weird than intended lol

mhm yeah I see this played out two ways with aces. Either they are HYPER aware of it or woosh over their heads and it always makes the situation have like a stat boost to awkwardness either way lol 

“they” (1 word) is shorter than “he or she” (3 words)

“they” is more inclusive than “he/she”

“themself” flows more naturally than “him or herself”

“they” is less clunky than “(s)he”

it’s time to replace the awkward “she or he”

The bell

So I finally got DR Another Episode!! And damn every time there was a time for the Hit list conversations, the DR1 feels hit me too hard…! But yeah something fast I sketched (*ﾟｰﾟ)ゞ this can be a ship thing or not

have some fucking tips for androgynous presentation that mixes femme and masc styles and isn’t just ‘be afab and wear trousers from the men’s section’

recently I wore some of those trousers with the wide non form fitting legs   and added small heeled boots. 10/10 would recommend I felt very high fashion. looked masc but was making the femme click clack heel sound.

basic loungy outfits can be made 100% more queer by adding colour. srsly jeans with a nice tshirt is queer as fuck if the jeans are orange.

wearing the femmest outfit possible, long skirt, cute blouse, etc. becomes a power move when you do so without a single shred of makeup. bonus if your hair is short. bonus if it’s not a pixie. bonus if your shoes are stompy

find all your Statement Pieces. wear them together. voila.

we all know about suspenders. now put them where they don’t belong. attach them to skirts. attach them to your trousers but leave them hanging

literally just wear stuff you think looks rad because if you enjoy both masculine and feminine clothing styles it naturally follows the stuff you think looks rad together will end up being genderfuck

embrace alternative fashion/weird charity shop finds/vintage/stuff that breaks fashion rules even if its ‘technically’ femme/masc. part of fitting into gender roles is wearing mainstream and current femme/masc clothes because gender roles and their associated accepted dress are always shifting so anything that differs from that is automatically subversive.

billowy shirts. undo them as much as you’re comfortable with. somewhat obvious but the howl’s moving castle vibes are v strong. am I a femme arts student or a dashing masc pirate type? who knows. 

floral patterns feel a billion times more masc if the colours are bold. 

personally after I stopped wearing makeup I felt I lot more able to just be like huh. that’s my face. and feel kinda triumphant  in the ugly parts of it and just be unabashedly weird. and if that’s not genderfuck idk what is. same w not shaving my legs tbh. I enjoy just existing.

that said if you do like makeup, using just (just. no foundation or shit) eyeshadow or just lipstick? also a power move. 

If you go for the classic dapper style of androgynous presentation but want something closer to androgynous than just weird masc, try adding a soft girly jumper to your manly trousers and etc.

adding an emphasis to your natural waist to a masc outfit (with a belt or something) is a good way to feminise it and vice versa with emphasising a dropped waist in a femme outfit to bring attention away from your smaller natural one (again with a belt or maybe low waisted trousers)

long coats are very good I feel my most formless and inexplicable when my outer layer goes straight past my knees.

obviously all this is gonna be slightly biased to my agab/personal style/body type/etc. but yeah. there’s my tips and hopefully none of them are weirdly unachievable or equate androgyny with masculinity 

INTRODUCING - ‘Artemis’, the Aspec-Pride soap!

Organic, all-natural, homemade handcrafted soap using shea butter and coconut oil! These bars create a quick, sweet-smelling lather that’s gentle enough for normal-to-sensitive skin.

This soap is crafted after the image of Artemis, who is known as the ‘Virgin Goddess’ in Greek and Roman mythology. She is famous for rejecting her many suitors, sometimes to the point of danger upon herself. She (and her followers) took vows of chastity as a loving coven. She’s considered the patron and protector of young women, hunters, wild animals, and childbirth. Each soap is crafted to protect the absence of gender loving, and to celebrate asexual pride! Artemis was a fierce protector of her nymphs and followers, and she would gladly risk her life to keep her friends safe. Bask yourself in the protection of the virgin Goddess!

Available in four different unique scents;

Original scent ’Acetyne’ (Chocolate, Buttermilk, Vanilla, Cinnamon) 

Grey-Asexual scent ’Titanium’ (Tea Tree, Eucalyptus, Lemongrass, Red Ginger) 

Demisexual scent ’Persephone’ (Chocolate, Peach, Geranium, Green Cognac) 

Aromantic scent ’Alphaea’ (Lemon, Lilac, Violet, Frankencense, Ylang Ylang) 

Queerplatonic Pide scent ‘Gautama’ (Mint, Bamboo, Jasmine)

Check these soaps out on etsy.com! The entire pride soap series is available for sale!

please give me more confident shuichi oh also kokichis here too