One Time I Had A Dream That I Unlocked A Secret Never-before-discovered Achievement In Disco Elysium

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEMON DEMON ‼️‼️

me at night: just one more wikipedia article before bed

3 hours later: ooh taoist sexual practices that seems interesting

OH MY GOD

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

Ppl who wanna change their name but don't know what name they wanna change it to or don't know what sounds good/suits them or whatever should be able to get paired with a girl who has 5,000 hours logged on the Sims. Like going to see an ancient oracle or something.

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

My 11-month male cat lets my foster kittens nurse on him.

(Source)